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A Most Sweetly Hectic Halloween Eve

Xavier Remington President Of Mystic Investigations here! On this most spooky National Candy Corn Day, and of course Halloween Eve, Mystic Investigations finds itself at a spine-chilling Orange Alert! The Condition Orange light strips on our walls flash orange all about our building while giving us an hourly voice warning. There is also an update on current paranormal activity status. Throughout our offices, there is a constant chaotic workflow as people rush about relaying reports of paranormal activity amid doing research in our secret archives. Some of us supernatural warriors whisk away out the doors to face down denizens of darkness with valor! It is our mission to keep the horrors of Halloween hidden from those who could not bear to know the true depth of its titanic terror!

Spooky decor is sprawled everywhere complete with lit Jack-O-Lanterns and cobwebs. Some of us are even wearing costumes to keep the atmosphere as joyous as possible. Generously filled dishes of candy corn, candy pumpkins, chocolates, and other assorted treats rest upon everyone’s desk for all to partake of. The sweet sugar keeps us awake as we try to catch naps here and there. One of our hard-working support staff is passed out peacefully behind a potted plant with chocolate all over her face! No doubt she is dreaming of ghosts and dark fairies fluttering about sainted cemeteries with ghoulish glee. In The Spirit Of Halloween, I just polished off a gallon bucket of candy corn and a few cases of chocolates! Then there was that quart of creamy eggnog that fell prey to my thirst as I felt a bit of the Christmas Spirit flirt with that of Halloween. Oh, I forgot the big bag of Hershey’s Pumpkin Spice Kisses I found behind the couch in my office from years ago. Ah yes never felt better! Picture of health for sure!

The Halloween season serves up a sinister super sized supernatural soup whose sour taste can spell death of a non-pleasant sort! Despite the lack of a full Moon Werewolves can transform on Halloween! Then we have all manner of other malevolent monsters darting from the dark shadows ready to pounce upon the blissfully innocent we strive to protect! Certainly, Zombies are always a constant issue on All Hallows Eve. They just love rising from their graves all the way through The Day Of The Dead! All of us here at Mystic Investigations will contend with perplexing peril between the Witching and Devil’s Hours of Halloween morning! Thankfully the celebration of Halloween and the later activity of Trick-O-Treating stokes the Spirit Of Halloween thereby driving away much metaphysical madness. We implore you to remember the sacrifices of the unsung supernatural heroes who made your frightfully fun Halloween a safe one! You may very well see some of us volunteering at the Autumn Harvest Halloween Festival or the Haunted House! Happy Halloween To All And To All A Spooky Sweet Night!

#Halloween #NationalCandyCornDay #HalloweenEve

Boss’s Day 2015 At Mystic Investigations

Boss’s Day At A Paranormal Investigations Firm

The generous administrative assistants and wonderful supernatural support staff here at Mystic Investigations threw the executive’s a surprise Boss’s Banquet in honor of Boss’s Day. We donate a small amount of every case we solve to a General Employee Cash Fund. It’s a cash safe in our place that the employees can collectively vote to use for anything they like within our facility without coming to us bosses for permission. It comes in handy when they want to throw a surprise party but sometimes they’ll buy something frivolous like that Pac-Man arcade game console in the employee lounge.  Although I guess I’ve played the thing just as much as anyone else. Read The Rest Of The Story…

The Scare & Scurry North Pole Battle

Continued From The Scare & Scurry Scottish Sanctuary…The Following Events Took Place In October Of 2014…

The McTavish International Academy Of Magical Sciences was in ruins on the Scottish countryside as the battle between magic and an unknown technology came to a close! Everyone was seriously down for the count including the most powerful magician on Earth Ian McTavish. All stopped by either energy beams or the odd warping of space that amazingly overwhelmed all things supernatural! This included most of the Mystic Investigations team! The man in the futuristic-looking exoskeleton shot through walls and flew up to the third floor of one of the few intact building on the magic school campus. There the Demi-Mermaid Witch Rebecca Abernathy and Telekinetic Psychic Julia Hathaway sat with the terrified Elmer and Gertrude Carpmeister. The geriatric couple that was the target of the exoskeleton of evil! Rebecca then screamed, “Mystic Sphere!” Her pink translucent metaphysical energy bubble formed around her and she brought the couple and Julia within as well. She then commanded, “sursum volant!” and the sphere crashed through the roof and flew high in the dark starry skies above! The horrifying exoskeleton followed in hot pursuit! Rebecca attempted to elude him but he was gaining fast. In a last ditch attempt to lose him she flew into outer space toward the moon where she had been in 2011 after an alien attack. Thankfully she had drunk a powerful potion just before the flight! Unfortunately, the vacuum of space didn’t deter him.  Naturally, both the Carpmeister’s were passed out from the sheer stress of everything!

Unexpectedly the exoskeleton man’s voice came into the Mystic Sphere as if by magic. He screamed, “Hey witch bitch I want my old farts back now!” Rebecca replied, “Go screw yourself, you big baby! Ever thought of getting a woman instead of spending decades harassing a married couple like a lonely jealous loser?” He roared back angrily amid intermittent laughter,” HA HA jealous? Screw you! You’re all going to die!” His exoskeleton shot red, green, and blue energy blasts causing the pink sphere to flicker. Rebecca’s nose began to bleed as she attempted to hold its magic in place while heading back into Earth’s atmosphere. She prayed forth to any and all Gods and Goddesses that would heed her call! Magic began to flow into her from all manner of nature deities from around the world who sensed something was seriously wrong and not of this Earth. However all the sudden it was cut off. Exoskeleton boy chuckled and said, “Yeah your pathetic Gods aren’t a match for me! I’m the most powerful son of a bitch who ever lived!” Julia interjected, “Wow! So much power and this is all you have to do with your life? Why not take over the whole planet? Why just harass an old couple? You are beyond bizarre and pathetic to the max!” He screamed back without thinking, “Damn time co….Ah, the hell with you bitch!” Julia took his words and linked it to his mental weakness to get one clear psychic thought from him. He was a time traveler from the extremely distant future and he had to be careful not to alert time cops of his presence here. Clearly, he was worried by what he’d already done at the magic school and how it might alert temporal authorities. The momentary chink in his armor closed and no more visions could be had!

The Battle Of North Pole City

Rebecca couldn’t believe this filthy fiend had the power to block Gods! She made the decision to head toward North Pole City to the most powerful man on Earth the Demi-Angel Santa Claus! Something Mystic Investigations didn’t originally do because we didn’t want to bring havoc to such a place of holy peace. However, no options were left now! She and Julia tried to send Santa a psychic warning message but Exo boy was blocking it! The Christmas Star was overhead as giant glimmering glacial walls came into view in the middle of a huge flat plane of never-ending snow and ice! Rebecca flew down right over the huge Christmas tree in the center of the cobblestone streets of the downtown area. Elves looked up startled as the exoskeleton roared overhead about to catch Rebecca and her passengers. Just down the hill from Claus Manor, she was shot from the skies by energy beams. Everyone hit the ground without any injury due to the Angelic protection spell over Saint Nicholas’s holy city.

The Exo-man landed and laughed loudly, “Oh yeah bitch! It’s over! Turn over my Carpy’s!” Rebecca tried to recite an incantation and shoot a force lightning-like beam at him but she was tapped out of paranormal power! Julia tried to use her telekinesis to launch him away but it simply didn’t work. He shot a green blast at the two women but it seemed to be absorbed mid-air by the North Pole protection spell. Exoskeleton boy seemed frustrated as he muttered, “Crap this in one powerful protection spell. I need more power!” Julia caught another psychic flash and learned his name. She yelled, “Why little Timmy Carpmeister you must be related to this beautiful couple? Why on Earth are you doing this to them?” He yelled back, “Mind your own business! Oh, wait it doesn’t matter because you’re about to die dumb ass!” He shot multiple beams that finally hit both women as the Carpmeisters lie in the shimmering snow still unconscious. Some Elves ran up and demanded he halt his evil intent. He snickered, “Back off you little shrimps!” He shot the Elves and they were knocked out cold!” He was overcoming the protection spell!

Suddenly the scariest echoing voice ever heard roared, “Enough of this mindless violence! How dare you invade my haven of peace!” Timmy replied, “Screw you Santa! I know all about your BS!” He shot several energy beams at Santa as he strained to block them with his hands. Santa exclaimed, “Oh sweet Jesus what in the Jack Frost is this?” Timmy began uncontrollable over the top cackling you’d expect from a mental patient while he screamed, “Die Santa! Die!” He was clearly losing it as the angelic Claus fell to the ground unable to deflect or absorb the insane amounts of energy! Jack Frost teleported in back of Timmy and attacked him but he was literally launched into outer space! At that point, the Sorcerer McTavish, professors, and several students came out of a blazing orange portal from Scotland. The final Battle Of North Pole City had begun!

Santa regained his composure and joined the fray with McTavish and his allies! Timmy shot never-ending energy fire and started up his space warping thing again. Santa attempted to counter it as Rebecca awoke and dragged the Carpmeisters and Julia to safety. Again this crazy exoskeleton was overwhelming our Earths top supernatural beings! Santa began praying to the Archangels of Heaven but his thoughts were inexplicably blocked! Santa then tried to direct the Spirit Of Christmas at Timmy’s heart to figure out what the hell his problem was. What he saw was astounding!

Timmy was Elmer and Gertrude Carpmeisters first born child! They had him out of wedlock when they were teens. Their parents forced them to give Timmy up for adoption. However, on the way to the orphanage, he was abducted by aliens who tortured and brainwashed him to adulthood! Eventually, they took him to the year 2991 with a master plan to have him infiltrate Earths government with the intent to invade and conquer. The plan failed and Timmy was arrested but he managed to escape and steal a high tech exoskeleton that could travel through time. Long before the 30th century, the world of the supernatural had been revealed to the general public. Soon magic and technology were melded into one. The suits paranormal power was beyond all magic known to the 21st century! Timmy blamed his parents for the living hell he suffered throughout his lost childhood. All he cared about was making their entire lives a living hell as well. He thought about preventing his own alien abduction but he was too full of hate and revenge. In addition, time cops and the aliens themselves would probably have reversed the effort!

A More Powerful Magical Technology Enters The Fray

The supernatural team of McTavish and Saint Nicholas were about to meet their magical makers! Timmy kept laughing maniacally and screaming, “Oh yeah I’m going to be the magnificent bastard who killed Santa Claus! Ho ho ho crappy Christmas! And you suck McTavish! You goofy piece of crap!” Everyone was becoming frozen in the space warp while being violently hit by energy beams. Santa reached out psychically and implored Timmy to accept the Christmas Spirit into his very soul. All Santa got back was a shrill scream that gave him a super headache! Santa thought to himself, “This can’t be how it ends? After centuries of building forth the serene magic of Christmas amid overcoming the forces of darkness!” All hope was lost until a flash of white light manifested a woman wearing what looked like a black and teal superhero suit complete with cape.

The woman held her hand forth and halted the Exoskeletons attacks! She declared, “Timmy Carpmeister I am Time Cop Chelle Carpmeister from the year 3242! You are under arrest for crimes against humanity and the illegal altering of the timeline!  Exit your exoskeleton and submit to extradition back to the future!” Timmy was shocked as his exoskeleton was powered down and he was unable to turn it back on. He yelled, “Hey what the hell is this crap! How did you do this?” Chelle replied, “I’m wearing a far more advanced version of your suit! Here let me help you out of yours!” She ripped opened his suit as he began crying like a baby, “This isn’t fair! Noooooooooo!”

Elmer and Gertrude awoke and witnessed the spectacle. Chelle walked over to them with Timmy in glowing gold handcuffs. She then explained to them that Timmy was the son they gave away so long ago. She told them the bizarre tale that resulted in his rise to time travel power. After what they’d already witnessed on this beyond surreal day they believed it. They started to console Timmy and apologize but he lashed out and shouted, “I don’t need your crap excuses! I was never your kid! So help me God I will still find a way to make every day a horror!” Chelle smiled and turned to Timmy while sternly saying, “Actually you’ll get the help you seriously need and end up having a happy life after serving some time in jail! Oh and by the way I’m your daughter. You sent me back to end this madness!” Timmy quickly countered, “Bull!” Chelle chuckled and turned to the Carpmeisters while saying, “It’s nice to finally meet my grandparents!” She hugged them and said the rehabilitated Timmy who sent her to the past would visit them at some point to resolve all the bad blood. Unfortunately, the timeline had been so polluted that nothing could be reversed without unraveling a whole host of other things Timmy had affected. This includes the decades of hell the Carpmeister’s endured at the hands of Timmy!

She bid her grandparents farewell and walked over to Santa and McTavish. Chelle whispered, “My grandparents could really use the Spirit Of Christmas to bring them some much-deserved peace.” Santa nodded and said, “Of Course I vow they will spend the rest of their days in my sainted city without a care in the world. Their horrifying past will fade away into oblivion as if it never happened.” The Sorcerer McTavish said, “Any chance you can leave that exoskeleton behind for us to inspect?” Chelle replied, “Unfortunately no my good sir! Good luck to both of you!” Santa then told Timmy, “I forgive you, my son! Accept the Spirit Of Christmas into your heart to begin your road to peaceful healing.” Timmy was about to say something snotty but he started to feel an odd foreign warmth in his heart. He remained silent as Chelle picked up the exoskeleton in one hand as if it was a bag of feathers and held firmly on to Timmy in the other while they vanished in a flash of bright light to the 33rd century!

Santa spoke with Elmer and Gertrude about living at North Pole City as a reward for their lifelong hardships. They heartily agreed and then they said goodbye to Rebecca and Julia. The two women conferred with Santa and McTavish about the disturbing revelation that technology would someday trump magic! McTavish then got a determined look on his face as he declared, “Now we know what shall come to pass! We can prepare for it! Am I the only one who got the impression those suits are used to suppress magical individuals in the future?” Santa replied, “I did Ian! I think my Elves and I along with your fabulous alumni can come up with a solution!” Everyone smiled and nodded as the non-North pole gang stepped into the orange glowing portal and returned to the magic school in Scotland to begin the rebuilding process. In fact, it was completed just in time for the Halloween celebrations!

Elmer and Gertrude Carpmeister now live perpetually at Santa’s winter wonderland where nobody ever dies. As long as they never leave they are immortal. Their rehabilitated son Timmy visited them from the future and all was forgiven. This included a direct blessing from Saint Nicholas complete with penance. Timmy continues to return every so often along with his daughter Chelle. Mystic Investigations sees the Carpmeisters as well every year when they visit North Pole City at Christmas. Ah yes another fine happy ending for all!