Xavier Remington, President Of Mystic Investigations here! It’s been a long time since I wrote in this blog as we are very busy battling the forces of darkness. I guess I feel like I have to tell a complete story of our supernatural adventures and so end up putting it off. Perhaps a few paragraphs every so often will do? That being said I’m almost done with the story of Fraggle The Elf. He took over as President here and ran things when most of us Executives were away on our annual vacation retreat to the Demi-Angel Santa Claus’s North Pole City. Certainly a treat for many of us in the paranormal know. Santa is nice enough to give visitors the option to have Elves take over their supernatural operations. While gone from late December 2017 to early January 2018 the fantastic Fraggle took over. Here is the first two paragraphs of his story:
The executive staff of Mystic Investigations work hard all year running the office, conducting paranormal research projects, and battling the forces of supernatural evil in the field. So we look forward to our longest and most cherished of vacations every year. That being our surreal stay at the Santa Claus’s winter wonderland. During our tremendous time at Santa’s North Pole City amid the 2017 Christmas season, we were given the option to have an Elf man our supernatural post as it were. We happily took that option even though the Christmas season brings us the least paranormal cases. Still, we wanted someone with some level of paranormal power to be here just in case things got crazy. Fraggle The Elf was sent to us here in Woodland Springs, Colorado by Santa Claus who is a powerful Demi-Angel force for good on Earth I, Xavier Remington, made Fraggle temporary Mystic Investigations President with full authority to run the business as he saw fit. All our personnel are not fully aware of the wondrous world of the supernatural so we’ve only told them we’re going on a business trip up north. They believe Fraggle is my vertically challenged cousin.
We’d never met Fraggle at the North Pole before because most of his work lies in the outside world. When we first met the little fella, who was barely 2′ 10″, we thought it would be best for him to change out of his tiny green Elf costume before meeting our non-executive employees who would not be traveling to the North Pole. Thankfully, Santa had the foresight to send an adorable little business suit with Fraggle. Otherwise, we would have had to take him to a tailor, or a toddler store. LOL! In addition, Santa gave him a glamouring spell to hide his pointy ears. However, at any point, he could appear in his Elf uniform with his ears, and simply claim it was a costume to celebrate Christmas…….I’ll try and complete this story before next Christmas. LOL!
North Pole City Christmas Vacation – December 21, 2017 To January 5th, 2018
Ever since 2011 we’ve relished in taking a break from fighting paranormal evil by delving into the winter wonderland of the worlds Christmas Capitol. A place where your worries wash away and you feel like a kid again. To an extent the outside world fades away just as being at the North Pole does once you leave. I get the most serene sleep and have the most delightful dreams there!
Once again we were nominated for the prestigious Claus Awards that honors those who risk their lives to help others in need. Nominees get to stay at Claus Manor with Santa, Mrs.Claus, and his two kids. We ultimately didn’t win the award but one simply cannot be disappointed to eat every meal at a table with the Claus family, Elves, winter nymphs, intelligent speaking penguins, and stuffed animals come to life! Not to mention you can eat everything in sight without any health or weight issues. I chugged 20 gallons of eggnog and ate a good 14 gallons of ice cream! Some of which was eaten with my little buddy Gerbert The Elf. He is, of course, the notorious Peppermint Ice Cream Bandit at the North Pole!
We later entered the Christmas Elf Snowball Fight. Each team has one elf on it since an all Elf team would always win a snowball fight. I got pelted in the head a few times but it didn’t hurt since you can’t experience pain here. It was just a pleasant tingling sensation. I’ve actually seen people punching each other in the face and laughing like crazy. LOL! Anyway Mystic Investigations came in third place even with a vampire on our team. That being Executive VP Drake Alexander. While in this holy place he reverts to a Angel like vampire form. When we returned home everything was in order thanks to Fraggle The Elf. Other Mentions Of North Pole City
Super Blue Blood Moon Eclipse – January 31st, 2018
The Super Blue Moon Eclipse transmuted to a rare Violet Moon which ended up turning anything unholy to ash if basking within the holy light. So our battles with Werewolves were minimal and those in direct moonlight died. We went around town at dawn contacting known werewolves to see if it was they who perished. We at least brought closure to a few families who got the bad news. Our very own vampire Exec VP Drake Alexander nearly turned to ash as he spontaneously burst into unholy flames. Our resident witch Senior VP Rebecca Abernathy acted quickly to cast a shielding spell as we rushed him to safety! Luckily the Violet Moon amped up her own magical powers. Drake has fully recovered from his near death experience. Our own werewolf Seth Morgan was locked away safely in a cage at Mystic Investigations headquarters. This is the responsible thing for all werewolves to do on Full Moon nights! For their own well being and that of everyone else.
Additional Story About A Battle With The Plague Doctor On Valentines! (Coming Soon)
Fifth Annual International Para-Con – February 21-February 28, 2018
This years secret International Paranormal Investigators Conference was in Moscow, Russia. It’s a place for most of us in the real paranormal community to compare notes and devise strategies to defeat the forces of darkness in preparation for Armageddon. Many of us gave speeches and demonstrations on the latest supernatural sleuthing techniques while learning from others ourselves. There was a surprise visit by President Vladimir Putin. He’s well aware of the secret supernatural world and was deeply interested during the hour he spent at the conference. We spoke to him briefly but our vampire team member Drake Alexander had a more extensive private conversation with him. Apparently, they know each other from way back in the day. It’s also interesting to note Putin always travels with his personal Wizard Fyodor. Perhaps that is how he’s retained power for so long?
While there we came across Slenderman in the Khimki Forest. He was actually sabotaging the controversial highway that cuts through the forest as it caused the loss of many trees. Slender loves hiding in the woods and feels most at home there. So naturally, he is for saving the environment. Probably the evil entities only redeeming quality next to his decent treatment of children despite kidnapping them for their unique metaphysical energy! If not for these despicable kidnappings we would have left him to it but we had to attempt capture. Capture rather than extermination as there are alternate dimensional forces who sentenced him here to live rather than be executed. These forces have strong anti-death protection on him!
Either Slender Man was low on paranormal power or wasn’t in the mood to play because he kept evading us! Certainly, we caused harm to him before. Slender easily shapeshifted to hide behind trees and all manner of foliage. He had us running around the dark woods all night and into the morning like fools. Thankfully, we must have worn him out because we saw a flash of light indicating he teleported away. Our Psychic Julia Hathaway said he was long gone!
Easter April Fools Story Coming Soon!
Previously On Mystic Investigations (Click Here For Part 1)…
The Vampire Cortez is listed in the global vampire archives as a despicable 971 year old 4th generation vampire who preys on humans for blood, and relishes in a prolonged agonizing kill! All generations of vampire 13, and higher are considered royalty to some extent so we had to tread lightly with this blasphemous bastard for fear of incurring the wrath of Transylvanian First Generation Royals! Especially since this puke appears to have participated in at least a handful of human hunts with Dracula back in the 1800’s. We’re not sure if they’ve kept in touch but if Dracula didn’t kill him then he must consider him at least worth a crap! Cortez holds the official vampire royal title of Marquess Of Central Colorado which gave him further prestige, and protection courtesy of higher level vampires! So we had our work cut out for us if we were to save the newly discovered Immortal Fred Jacobson from his clutches!
The only thing on our side was the fact that apparently Cortez had a reputation for reckless rampages that threatened to expose vampires to the world. He received a few slaps on the wrist from Transylvania, and wised up. He now satisfies his insatiable blood lust, and need to murder humans via elaborate gaslighting schemes. Especially when dealing with beings possessing special blood such as Immortals. Basically he, and his thugs drive their victims crazy, and then pose as mental health officials who implore families to commit the victim for their own good. This was the case with Fred who eventually began to act sane once we hid him at one of our safe houses. Unfortunately when dealing with vampires, and their insane sense of smell, instinct, and psychic abilities, it’s rather hard to hide from them! We had to keep moving Fred around until we resolved this matter one way or another!
Our Scottish vampire associate Drake Alexander is known as somewhat of an outsider who has no interest in being apart of the vampire royal hierarchy. Since he is a 5th generation vampire they leave him alone for the most part. Especially since his vampire mother, Duanna Sargon, is an extremely beguiling ancient 4th generation vampire princess who is beloved by many royals including King Dagan. Although his wife Queen Gula is very jealous of her. It’s rumored Dagan, and Duanna once had an affair back in 344 BC Ancient Greece. Supposedly they did it at Aristotle’s house. Amazingly we do know for sure that Dagan made him a vampire, and he’s still alive somewhere in Greece! As for the rest unfortunately it’s not one of those things you can just casually ask a person! Believe me I’m dying to know! So Duanna will visit Cortez, and do all the talking with Drake in tow just in case there’s any trouble. The rest of us would not be welcome there…well we would as dinner!
The Demi-Zombie Ashley Abercrombie was doing better but still feels deep remorse over killing those four thugs in white. We still can be believe she went full zombie on them! You should never go full zombie! The Good Witch Rebecca Abernathy returned from Ashley’s house now that her boyfriend, the Werewolf Seth Morgan, was back in town. She wanted to just go ahead with a frontal assault on the Vampire Cortez’s Colorado Springs compound wiping out his entire organization leaving no clue of our involvement behind. I’m not sure if we have the power to do that but Rebecca is usually the impulsive one who wants to mow through the forces of darkness with her powerful witchcraft. The total opposite of the normally calm, reserved, and rational Ashley Abercrombie. Rebecca was disappointed in seeing no action but I told her to be ready just in case! Certainly the Vampire Cortez, and all his cohorts deserved to die since Vampire Slayers consider him a top prize in Colorado. It’s estimated he’s the most prolific killer of humans in our State, and possibly the entire Western United States!
Duanna flew in on her private jet from her palace in Turkey, and went with Drake to the Cortez Compound not long after sunset. Not only were there human minions but also vampire thugs as well. They all looked upon Duanna with lust but Drake with disgust. Drake was disgusted as well to see various human males, and females lying about who looked emaciated as they were drained of blood under the hypnotic spell of the living dead. Cortez happily greeted his guests in his den of iniquity, and hid his disdain for Drake. The plan was to charm him before breaching the subject of Fred. An egotistical vampire with his level of pride was sure to say no without some buttering up. He got very intimate with Duanna as they snuggled, and giggled near the hearth while Drake sat in a chair nearby nursing his 100 year old Scotch. Finally Duanna asked if he could release Fred Jacobson to them in exchange for a future favor. A favor from a powerful Vampiress like Duanna was worth a lot in the vampire community!
Despite this he still refused until Drake said,”We’ll give you the Immortal Keanu Reeves!” That got his attention as he had a look of pleasant surprise on his face. Even dare I say a slight sign of a joyful tear appeared! He replied,”Oh sweet son of Satan are you serious? You can get me the Immortal Reeves?” Drake responded,”Yes he thinks we’re good friends so I can lure him here.” Cortez then inquired,”Why would you give up the most prized human blood asset on Earth for a pathetic sub-standard immortal slob like Fred?” Drake then lied, and said,”Keanu has insulted me on several occasions, and his ego needs to be taken down a few pegs! It’s the perfect opportunity to teach him a lesson, and solve our little problem. You don’t mind if I visit every so often to gloat, and taunt him?” Cortez finally agreed,”Oh of course I wouldn’t mind welcoming the man who made me the envy of the vampire world! Reeves I would not extinguish! He would be a fine wine to savour for all eternity! Yes if you can get me Keanu then Fred is yours! Not much of a deal on your end but whatever floats your boat pal!”
He cackled like a loon for a bit as Duanna, and Drake prepared to leave. Suddenly he said,”Ah Duanna I think we have some unfinished business my dear! I do believe a sign of good faith would help me believe you’re really going to hand Keanu over to me! This just all seems too good to be true! After centuries of eluding us the holy grail of blood is just tossed on my doorstep like an edition of The Gazette!” Duanna sighed a bit, and strolled toward Cortez smiling seductively before passionately kissing him. They then both headed upstairs to his bedroom suite. Drake was about to protest but Duanna raised a hand silently ordering him to back down. He sat back in his chair, and his super hearing eventually heard amorous sounds coming from upstairs. He was quite agitated by the unsavory situation but kept his cool while he sat alone in the dimly lit den.
Twenty minutes passed, and he eventually blocked out the salacious sounds. Especially since another noise hit his ears. A noise of silent desperation. A girl who couldn’t have been more than 13 was crying in the basement,”I want to go home! Mommy help me!” Suddenly the deep voice of a man screamed,”Shut up you little brat! Master will have you later tonight!” He laughed maniacally as the sound of a metal door slamming shut could be heard. Drake knew they were here on a specific mission, and it wasn’t to save all the lost human souls in this hell hole. It went against everything he stood for. After hearing the girl cry for five more minutes, along with empathically feeling the living hell all manner of people were going through, he had enough!
Drake strolled out of the den, and was immediately halted with two hands on his chest. One from each of two guards standing outside the door. Both were vampires. Drake smiled, and said,”I’m dying for some blood! Could I please visit your blood cellar?” One of them angrily replied,”Nobody gets blood in this house unless Master commands it! Get back in the den traitor!” Drake then replied,”I’m not a traitor! I just want to be free, and live my own way.” The other one responded,”Yeah we know you kill our kind you bastard! If Master ordered us we’d stake your ass right now!” Drake’s grin left his face as his eyes glowed seriously crimson, and he appeared a bit monstrous with fangs extended. Drake then exclaimed,”Thankfully I’m not a pathetic lackey who kisses a Masters ass. I don’t need anyone’s permission to do this!” Drake pulled out a wooden stake, and vanquished the two vampires before they could say a word. They burst into unholy violet flames, and were ash within seconds.
Another vampire had been walking nearby, and came running since the sound of extinguished vampire makes a very distinct noise. Drake quickly snapped his neck, and then proceeded to decapitate him with his bare hands causing another cloud of ash to fly about the now smokey room! Luckily there were no surveillance cams as they couldn’t risk someone tapping into the feed, and having video proof of vampires for the mainstream media to see! Drake looked around nervously as he called Rebecca Abernathy on his cell phone. He whispered, “It’s a go! I’m taking down this sick bastard!” Rebecca excitedly replied,”Yes!” She was right outside the compound as she bellowed,”Mystic Sphere!“, and flew on to the property in her protective witchcraft based pink metaphysical energy bubble. As she came whizzing on to the compound grounds some guards looked up, and fired machine guns at her but the bullets bounced off. Flying in behind her was the rest of our team in the Mysticopter flown by none other than myself with Ex-Navy Seal Hunter Jackson in the co-pilot seat. It’s a highly advanced military attack helicopter with all manner of weaponry. Certainly it’s not legal to own but nobody can prove it even exists! While Rebecca fired volleys of magical energies we shot bullets, and missiles with extreme prejudice!
Meanwhile in Cortez’s bedroom his super senses, including his psychic abilities, had no indication of the carnage reigning down on his despicable compound. Despite him, and Duanna being 4th Generation vampires, she was far more powerful due to being over 4000 years old while he was a spring chicken at barely 1000 years old! She had him completely compelled in her sensual love trance. This was necessary to prevent him from psychically informing the royals around the world that Mystic Investigations had attacked him! The other vampires were quite young, and not powerful enough to do that. They were sire bonded to Cortez who was their Master. Their living dead father who brought them across into the dark shadows of bloody eternal damnation!
We landed the chopper just as Rebecca’s supernatural sphere crashed through the front doors causing splinters to fly about. Our talented team followed her in dressed in black military garb armed with everything in our arsenal! Drake continued to stalk, and stake vampires, and guards around the house while we took the rest head on. He began rounding up human captives, and guiding them out the back doors. Drake made his way to the basement, and witnessed the sheer horror of innocent people locked away in lion cages. In fact there were a few cages with lions, tigers, and grizzly bears in them! Apparently Cortez was a big shot who liked to show off by wresting wild animals! Drake began releasing people, and guiding them to the exits while talking down armed punks along the way. He was riddled with bullets but they didn’t affect his living dead body! He was about to unlock the cage of the girl he heard crying when a huge heavy set 7 foot tall vampire headlocked him from behind! Drake was a very muscular 6′ 2″. However he was puny in comparison to this vampire hulk! Of course in the supernatural world, especially when it comes to vampires, size doesn’t usually mean a thing! It’s unknown who this vampire was but Drake was in the fight of his life even being a 5th generation 740 something vamp. He bit into the flesh of the vampires arm causing him to howl out in pain, and release Drake. The girl in the cage screeched loudly as they punched, and kicked each other racing around the room at speeds so fast that the human eye could barely keep track of the two!
The vampire hulk was getting desperate, and started releasing animals from the cages. Clearly the hulk must be the one who feeds them because they all ignored him, and went for Drake! He swatted off the behemoth beasts like he was batting away annoying squirrels. However they were enough of a distraction for the hulk to get the upper hand. He got Drake in another headlock with one arm while wielding a stake from behind with the other. He started pressing it on Drake’s chest. Two lions, and a tiger were biting chunks of flesh out of Drake’s legs as he yelled out in unimaginable pain! Then a big bear literally bit his balls right off causing a shriek so loud that it shattered all the glass in the basement! No worries those grow back on a vampire! LOL!
Upstairs bullets, knives, stakes, Chinese Stars, and even kitchen sinks were flying all over the place. It was a war zone as the mansion was lit ablaze by vampires bursting into final flames. Rebecca’s magical reserves were waning, and she took to hand to hand combat beating the hell out of two vampires via her Demi-Mermaid strength, speed, and agility. She then used her hydrokinetic mermaid powers to launch a firehose force stream of water from a pipe nearby. It blasted two other vampires right though a giant window! Julia Hathaway was tossing vamps, and human guards aside with her telekinesis when she came to Rebecca’s side, and said,” I sense Drake is about to die!” Upstairs Duanna sensed the same thing to her horror. It was enough of a distraction to weaken her hold on Cortez. He suddenly became aware of more than half his men being dead as the sounds of gunfire, and screams wafted upstairs with the smell of his house on fire!
Cortez attempted to get up but Duanna was on top of him. She held him down forcibly as both their eyes glowed red with anger. He finally launched her to the ceiling causing plaster to reign down as he sped away naked at super speed! After she hit the bed, and it collapsed, she darted away after him at lightning speed buck naked as well! However a trap door was activated, and she plummeted into a sub-basement dungeon knee deep with swampy water chock full of crocodiles! Somewhat dazed after hitting her head on the stone floor she raised above the water line to see a dozen crocs closed in on her with jaw snapping hunger for flesh of any type. She then had a sly grin on her face as she said,”Well this should be interesting!”
There was no lull in the battle to call upon nature deities for power so Rebecca concentrated all her metaphysical power reserves to reanimate her Mystic Sphere. It crashed down through the floor with her inside, and she hit the vampire hulk from behind sending both him, Drake, the lions, the tiger, and bear flying into a concrete wall that crumbled. All the creatures, including Drake, and the hulk vamp, were dazed as Rebecca helped the 13 year old girl, and others left from their cages. Rebecca knew Drake was fine. A head on crash into a concrete wall was no big woof for him! The wild animals shook off the attack running toward Rebecca but she waved her hand, and they sat obediently. All the beasts were under her dominion courtesy of her Zoopathic animal control powers! As A Demi-Mermaid this worked perfectly with sea life, and to varying degrees with land animals.
The Hulk finally got up, and punt kicked a still groggy Drake into another concrete wall causing it to crumble. He then proceed to launch himself at Rebecca! He tackled her to the ground roaring like a lion with fangs extended, and eyes illuminated in a state of rage! Her Mermaid strength was no match for this gargantuan vampire. He leaned in ever closer to her neck as he prepared to savour her sweet magical mermaid blood which would unfortunately grant him temporary Mermaid, and Witchcraft powers. He would be virtually unstoppable for a number of hours if that happened! Just as he was about to sink his teeth into her he stopped short with a dumb look on his face as he began chuckling like a little girl. Suddenly he burst into purple flames, and turned to gray paranormal powder raining all over Rebecca. When the dust cleared the 13 year old girl was standing there with a stake smiling from ear to ear. She helped Rebecca up, and said,”I come from a long line of vampire slayers. I was in training with my mother when Cortez kidnapped me!” Drake hobbled over on his virtual skeleton legs with most of the flesh eaten off it, and said,”Let’s finish these bastards off, and get the hell out of here!”
Everyone, including the young vampire slayer, loaded onto the Mysticopter, and I forcibly declared,”Let’s light these bastards up!” Machine gun fire, and bullets reigned terror upon the compound, and the minions of Cortez who remained stubborn in the defense of their Master’s property. Ashley Abercrombie, and one of our investigators Elizabeth Weatherly, took the innocent victims away into the safety of the woods in back of the compound. We were hovering low taking out some straggling vamps running out the front of the burning hulk of a mansion in a panic! We let the wooden stake bullets fly free with reckless abandon! All the sudden the nutty naked Vampire Cortez super leaps on to the windshield of the helicopter with a deranged menacing stare. The red radiation of his eyes was so beyond bright that it lit up our dark cockpit. We could hear his spine tingling otherworldly growling coming from his fang ridden mouth. He immediately punched through the windshield, and grabbed me by the neck. Hunter struggled to keep the chopper in the air as the rest of the team came to my aid! He ripped my throat clean out as Drake, and Rebecca dragged him in. Rebecca whaled in agony,”You killed my boyfriend you damn filthy bastard!” She started choking him as Drake helped hold him down with one hand while going for a stake with another. Our teenage bionic boy wonder Zack Powers, and the young vampire slayer, along with Seth, was helping hold him down but he eventually launched everyone off into control panels damaging them.
The alarm bells sounded as Hunter had no choice but to land the Mysticopter! I was totally dead in the pilot’s seat as everyone attempted to fight off the crazed Cortez. Hunter got out of the chopper with his machine gun to finish off the remaining vampires who were running toward us! Thankfully a naked Duanna came running out of the flaming mansion. Although she was sliced up quite a bit from the Crocs! Everyone was completely tuckered out, and bloody battling Cortez. He was about to finish everyone off when he spun around, and smiled at Duana who smiled back. His grin turned to grimace as she held his tiny black heart in her hands before his very startled eyes!. She had plunged her hand through his rib cage, and scooped his heart out. He uttered his final words,”You bitch!” just as she squeezed it to dust in her hands! He briefly burst into flames before turning to a pile of ash that blew out into the compound yard as nothing more than dust in the wayward wind!
Drake carried me out, and sat me on the lawn. As he, and Duanna both bit into their wrists letting their healing vampire blood drip upon my absent throat. Duanna worryingly said,”It might not be enough!” Rebecca then took a pouch of healing herbs out, and sprinkled it on the blood as well. She then recited an incantation,”Oh harmonious Hygieia Goddess of healing I call unto thee to repair the ravages of darkness upon the one I love! I humbly implore you to let your medicinal magic manifest through me with care!” The blood, and herbs shimmered red, white, and pink causing my throat to reform. I woke up coughing rather heavily but I was alive, and well! Some would think I’d be transformed into a vampire but one must have their blood almost completely drained, and thankfully mine wasn’t. Also the magic intermingled might have stopped such a transformation as well. I’m not sure how I’d feel about becoming the Vampire Xavier Remington!
The mansion blaze was the biggest fire I had ever seen as we could hear fire, and police sirens in the distance. We all scrambled back into the Mysticopter but it waned as we tried to lift her off the ground. Zack Powers did some of his computer wizardry, and actually interfaced his bionic circuits into the helicopter’s controls. It lifted up as the authorities arrived. We were about to be spotted so Hunter took a chance, and hit the experimental mach speed button. We flashed away with a sonic boom into the dark night leaving behind vampire ash, and a wall of orange flames along with flashing red, and blue lights.
Back at Mystic Investigations Headquarters Duanna, now clothed, informed us that Cortez was never able to psychically contact any vampires outside the compound due to being so enraged by our attack! We contacted our friend Sheriff Blake Maverick to get the Vampire Cortez’s human captives medical attention, and transport to their homes. Thankfully most of them were in a vampire feeding induced mental haze. As it wore off they forgot about everything including the vampires! Fred was watching a movie in our VIP lounge, and we reassured him that he was safe to live out his immortal life. However he would eventually face various dangers both supernatural, and otherwise. He needed a wise mentor who had lived for centuries surviving all manner of threats. We had called our good friend the Immortal Keanu Reeves about this matter. In fact he was prepared to join us in battle but pressing matters prevented him from arriving in time. Although as we entered the cafeteria for a well deserved post-battle dinner he walked from the shadows of the vending machines smiling. We all laughed at how excited Fred was as he gushed all over Keanu with gargantuan glee. LOL!
Keanu joined us for dinner as he explained to Fred that he would now be under his protection as he taught him the ways of being an Immortal in between movie shoots. Keanu was even kind enough to give a pint of his blood to Drake, and Duanna who said it was the best blood they ever had! We had all manner of food pre-cooked, and ready to heat up quickly since we’re always beyond hungry after a supernatural battle! An hour later the young vampire slayers mother ran in with tears of joy in her eyes as she embraced her daughter. She joined us in our celebration as well, and we spoke of working with her in the future. Some hours later Keanu took Fred to his house to pack before hopping a private jet to parts unknown. The rest of us ended up going home during the Witching Hour.
That night as we all slept soundly in our respective beds we noted that we woke up in terror at exactly 3:00 AM, The Devil’s Hour! Just before we awoke we all had the same vexing vision of the Vampire Dracula! I’m sure it was just a coincidence!
Our paranormal investigations team had It’s annual Labor Day Picnic at Luminary Lake. All was well until a crazed looking man in his early 20’s, named Chad Addams, ran up to our group of tables. I nearly choked on my hot dog as he yelled,”Are you the Mystic Investigations folks?” He claimed he had time traveled from the year 1970 via a one way time machine he invented. Apparently he was smart enough to check a phone book for paranormal investigators as anyone else would brand him a loon! Our phone message told him we were at the park by the lake celebrating Labor Day.
Chad had purposely set his time machine for 40 years into the future to see the wonders he had dreamed of. His device was off by 6 years but he was still deeply disappointed. The internet, and little smart gadgets were somewhat “groovy”, as he put it, but in general the future didn’t look very futuristic! He was especially puzzled by the clunky looking cars, and the amazing number of pick-up trucks. Especially with the depleted number of farms. We explained to him that the farm truck craze was an odd effect of low self-esteem in our society. Bigger vehicles make many feel tough in a time when they feel helpless in the face of our broken society. He had expected to see sleek sports cars everywhere as most visions of the future have. He was also disappointed by the lack of progress after the Moon landings, and thought we would have Moon colonies along with the first person already being on Mars by now. We pointed out that the space race eventually petered out, and NASA was seriously underfunded. Although most likely a new space race would flare up with China who has future plans to conquer the Moon!
Our Psychic Julia Hathaway confirmed he was a time traveler from the past. All courtesy of a crude device intended for his final college physics project. A device that didn’t travel with him, and propelled him forward into time. He had optimistically assumed mainstream time travel would exist by now so he could return to the past! We searched the internet for a scientist bearing his name but found none. We searched further though the wizardry of wi-fi to discover he had been reported missing in 1970, and later declared dead by his family in 1972. As an only child he was devastated to find out his parents had died in the early 2000’s! Clearly he had never returned home. We informed him that we could probably return him to 1970 with the help of our witch Rebecca Abernathy, and her coven. Of course he would end up in a near identical parallel Universe just as he had arrived from into ours. All time travel including everyone’s daily jaunt one minute at a time into the future moves us five dimensionally to near identical realties. The Universe’s way to prevent perplexing paradoxes.
Unfortunately with Halloween just around the corner the coven couldn’t compromise their paranormal power reserves in the battle against evil. Time travel uses a mega load of metaphysical energy! The best we could do is January of 2017 but there was also the option of taking him to Santa Claus’s North Pole City. A place top flight supernatural warriors such as ourselves go to unwind each Christmas. Surely Santa, a Demi-Angel, could send him home. As long as Chad knew he could go home he was fine with exploring our time for a matter of months. He joined us on our Labor Day picnic, and noted how the food tasted different from his time. Especially the sweets. We mentioned the artificial sweeteners, high fructose corn syrup, GMO’s, and other additives poisoning our food supply. He was shocked the average citizen didn’t seem to care just so as long as they could keep their weight down. Yet he couldn’t believe how many overweight people there were as well! He even noted that the air smelled different. I said it was probably the government’s top secret geoengineering chemtrail projects. He just shook his head in disbelief, and said,”Man Nixon would never pull this type crap!” We all laughed, and told him about Tricky Dick’s downfall. Not to mention Gerald Ford’s fall down various steps across our great nation!
I let him watch Back To The Future Part 2 On Netflix, and said I was disappointed as well in 2016! Chad was certainly impressed by the amazing special effects of movies. We were all having fun when two men wearing black suits approached us, and grabbed Chad as one forcibly stated,”He’s coming with us!” Our team immediately grabbed them, and I said,”I don’t think so pal!” They presented their ID’s as US Paranormal Defense Agents but Julia knew they were a fraud. We dragged them into the woods away from prying eyes, and Drake Alexander, our hypnotic vampire, finally convinced them to tell the truth! They admitted they were time cops from the 25th century, and had detected a temporal incursion. They were well aware of my time traveling brother Michael Remington, currently lost in time, who they consider a temporal offender. I then said,”You know we’ve told you people before that time travel sends everyone to parallel Universes so this temporal enforcement crap is useless!” The agent replied,”Sir we have no scientific evidence of that! Until that day we must assume the timeline has been compromised, and act accordingly! We apologize for any inconvenience but this man must come with us!” I answered,”Well no matter what he’s not coming with you!” The agent demanded,”It’s imperative that he comes with us Sir! If not us then others will follow until the mission is complete! ”
They planned to take him to the 25th century since his knowledge of time travel in the past was unacceptable. Even erasing his memory wasn’t insurance enough since he could re-discover time travel. After discussing things further, along with Julia reading their minds, we believed that they would allow Chad to live a normal life in the future. Although initially under a period of probationary surveillance. Chad was intrigued, and wanted to see video of what the future was like. The agents reluctantly produced a small clear paper thin device that displayed video images of the 25th century. Certainly no archaic farm trucks there! Gleaming high tech cities with flying vehicles flowing into outer space at will! He decided he wanted to go after the agents said he could eventually be a time cop if he wanted. Chad knew he could then secretly visit his parents someday under the guise of a mission, and reassure them he was well.
The agents, and Chad stepped away from us. One agent hit a pad on his wrist, and they teleported in time within a dazzlingly display of glittering energy! We were about to walk back to our tables when Chad teleported back wearing a black suit. He smiled saying,”I can only stay for a minute! I’ve been in the 25th century for 15 years, and became a time cop! It’s beyond groovy! I’m going to see my parents now! Thanks for your help!” He then disappeared just as quickly as he appeared. As we walked away happy things had turned out for the best I asked Julia,”Is it just me or did those agents seem extremely polite to me in particular?” They almost treated me as if I was some authority figure they knew. Julia just smiled, and said,”Oh it’s hard to say what the future holds Xavier!”