We were in attendance at the First International Para-Con (Paranormal Investigators Conference) in Paris, France from February 14th through the 21st of 2014. Valentine’s Day was quite pleasant as we aided Fallen Cupid Angel in a mission to bring two soul mates together. He had displeased the Archangel hierarchy one too many times and was cast from Heaven. He had until Midnight on the 15th to complete his final mission in the hopes of heavenly reinstatement. Thankfully, as a Fallen Angel he was far more powerful than his Angel form. Although, he was slowly degrading into demonic form whether he liked it or not. This is the fate of all Angels who fall from grace. With our help, he brought the couple together. We later learned that the couple would have a special child in the future. Apparently, a major player in the apocalyptic Armageddon! At the stroke of Midnight, Saint Valentine appeared and raised the fallen one back to Angelhood!
After a good night’s sleep, all of us on the Mystic Investigations Team were feeling quite satisfied with ourselves as we attended Para-Con in the morning. Later in the afternoon, we were enjoying the sights of Paris when we noticed a serious stink infesting the air. People for at least a block were gagging and barfing. Our team has dealt with horrifying smells in the past. Especially when it comes to sulfurous haunted houses. Unfortunately, this sinister stank was seriously off the stench scale! We determined that the offending odor was coming from the sewer. Only our Executive VP Vampire Drake Alexander and Demi-Zombie Ashley Abercrombie could venture into the darkness below unassisted as they were mostly immune to the stench. Our resident witch and Demi-Mermaid Rebecca Abernathy used her potion kit and a spell to make things less unpleasant so the rest of us could follow.
The Stench Infests The Sainted Sewers Of Paris
We assumed we would be dealing with some kind of sewer monster. Although we had knowledge of Stefan Stank, aka The Stench, he wasn’t really on our supernatural radar. We soon heard chanting as candlelight glimmered down the concrete corridors of the sewer system. We peered around the corner and saw The Stench himself with about a dozen or so of his cult members. The chilling chamber they were in wreaked of human waste, BO, and all manner of sickening smells. Two people lie dead nearby. They appeared to be cult members who couldn’t take the stench. Stefan was babbling on in French about making the world his personal toilet as he pointed to some diagrams hanging on the wall. He spoke of plans to let loose a flurry of stink bombs in Paris that would bring the entire city choking to their knees. At that moment two cult members forced a struggling woman wearing a mask onto an altar of some type.
Stefan declared that the woman would be sacrificed in the name of the Roman God Of Odor Sterquilinus. He ripped her mask off and she began gagging as The Stench laughed and said, “Ah yes! Take a fresh whiff mon amour!” Our team burst in and started kicking rank rear left and right! The Stench screamed, “Destroy the intruders!” Amid hand-to-hand contact with the BO-ridden cultists, they attempted to lop stinky substances upon us. Drake got to the woman and put her mask back on pointing for her to run toward us. We eventually got her out of that hell hole alive! Stefan punched Drake in the face with little result. He returned the favor and belted Stefan across the room. The Stench landed on his offending ass with anger while his eyes glowed a light brown color. Suddenly the room became so stench-ridden that everyone’s eyes began to water. Most of the cult members died as those of us utilizing Rebecca’s potion were forced to retreat. It was no match for an alarming aroma that even defied magic! Rebecca tried to use her powers against him but she was starting to pass out. I, President Xavier Remington, got her out of there as Ashley and Drake faced the filthy fiend.
The Stench was shaking and sweating profusely as all his concentration was focused on his Stench Generation powers. He was also passing gas loudly while screaming, “Die vampire!” Clearly, Stefan could identify a vampire’s scent but then Drake confirmed it when he made his eyes glow red with fangs extended! Drake punched him several times while Stefan returned the favor laughing maniacally. Even as an old man Stefan was a powerful superhuman. The two men struggled for a bit until The Stench said, “You love blood vampire? Sample some of my stinky stuff!” The Stench bit into his wrist and forced it into Drakes’s mouth. Drake immediately collapsed as he gagged furiously from the vile brew. The only blood worse than this was that time he bit into Slenderman! After a minute he felt better and looked up to see that The Stench was gone.
At street level, there were police and ambulances dealing with The Stench victims as we tracked his sinister stench across Paris. Unfortunately, Stefan can halt his stank completely thus rendering our hunt null and void. The French equivalent of our US Paranormal Defense Agency covered up the incident and we never saw The Stench ever again. Needless to say, some of us were sick for a week afterward. Many of us stayed in bed in our hotel rooms at the luxurious Hyatt Paris Madeleine. Only a handful of our team attended the rest of the Paranormal Investigators Conference. Everyone was so beyond disgusted that we wanted to forget about him. That’s why we never wrote an article about Stefan Stank until January 2022! Sorry!