Friday The 13th Poltergeist

Friday the 13th is always a busy day here at Mystic Investigations. Second only to Halloween. Many people call us with concerns over various incidents they fear are related to the bad luck of the day. Many of the people calling in actually have paraskevidekatriaphobia which is the clinical term for fear of Friday the 13th. Although the day itself isn’t bad luck just as St Patrick’s Day isn’t good luck, the day itself does rarely attract supernatural forces. More commonly though there are numerous forces of evil that are attracted to the heightened fears of people as a result of their paraskevidekatriaphobia.

The actual origin of the Friday the 13th superstition may come from Norse mythology. Friday is named for Frigga, the free-spirited goddess of love and fertility. When Norse and Germanic tribes converted to Christianity, Frigga was banished in shame to a mountaintop and labeled a witch. It was believed that every Friday, the spiteful goddess convened a meeting with eleven other witches, plus the devil to create an unlucky gathering of 13 beings of evil who would plot against the forces of good. For many centuries in Scandinavia Friday was known as “Witches Sabbath.” The exact origins of why the number 13 has always been considered unlucky are unknown. Some say it’s because 12 is considered a perfect number and one more number destroys that perfection hence the bad luck of 13. Christian traditions may have a role as Judas was the 13th disciple to sit at the last supper. His betrayal of Jesus sent him to his death which is the ultimate bad luck.

So a call came in this morning from a frantic middle aged woman living alone with two cats. She said she was having a horrid bout of bad luck and things kept dropping and breaking even though she didn’t think that she had really touched them. She also kept thinking she was hearing angry whispers. She indicated that the cats were in a cage so they weren’t breaking stuff and that she wasn’t off any meds. The woman also kept tripping over things and falling over. Me and Rebecca Abernathy, our resident witch, were headed out to lunch and decided to drop by to investigate. We pulled up to the small bungalow on Shady Lane east of the Enchanted Woodland and all looked well. We knocked at the door and heard a loud crash as the poor woman frantically answered the door in tears. We entered and saw a vase smashed on the floor and both me and Rebecca sensed something nefarious was afoot as a chill in the air sent shivers up our spines despite the fact it was 82 degrees out and the woman had her windows open. We toured her home and noticed the minor carnage and the agitation of her cats as well which she indicated was abnormal. That’s why she put them in the cage. Suddenly she says,”OMG did you hear that?” We hear nothing but she said it was a voice whispering it was going to kill her. She heard it again and Rebecca indicated she barely heard something and felt a presence in the house. Once we entered the basement and smelled a sickening sulfur stink we knew we had a poltergeist haunting. We speculated that it was always in the house but never manifested itself until the woman was overwhelmed with fear from her paraskevidekatriaphobia. As poltergeists often feed off fear days like Friday the 13th bring more of them out to play as it were.

As it was a violent ghost we told the women we needed to get the hell out of here now and began running up the basement steps just as the sole light bulb burst and the door at the top of the steps slammed shut. I muttered,”Oh Crap!” and Rebecca exclaimed,”More like bull crap! Step off ghost bitch!”. Rebecca or Cutesy as I often call her is rarely scared of evil and in fact often gets angry. She raised her hands and said,”Ambisagrus I implore thee. Make clear our passage explode your tempest!” I kid you not that a clap of thunder and what appeared to be force lightening came out of Cutesy’s hands and blew that door to smithereens! I turned to the previously terrified, shaking, and crying woman who was now frozen with fear and said,”Yeah you didn’t just see that.” She replied,”See what?” We ran up the steps and out of the house. I got out my cell phone and called Drake Alexander whose been staying at the Mystic Investigations Safe House while his forest lair is being remodeled. Drake is our resident vampire who fights on the side of good. I told him to expect a house guest. We told the woman she could stay there for free while we dealt with her poltergeist. Rebecca went back in the house to get her cats and few things she needed. When she came out she had a cut on her arm. She then smiled and said,”The little corporeal challenged bastard didn’t like my show of force I guess.”

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We arrived at the safe house used for clients hiding out from forces of evil. Although the woman couldn’t afford our fees we informed her that we often do pro bono work because we are truly dedicated to fighting the forces of evil and eradicating them all from this Earth someday. Both supernatural and human. The wealthy clients we receive are enough to keep us living in the lap of luxury anyway. The house was a charming two story cottage in the heart of the Enchanted Woodland. Drake came out the front door to greet us and we introduced him to the woman whose name was Susan. Despite the sunlight he was protected by the dense tree cover. He immediately charmed the obviously lonely woman and her fears seemed to fade away instantly His deep blue eyes, dark raven hair, and Scottish accent beguiles the ladies every time. Oh yeah and then there’s that vampire hypnotizing thing. She asked him if he liked cats and he said he loved them. Although as he held her hand inside he turned around and gave us this priceless look that made me and Rebecca laugh silently. Before I left Drake asked,”I’m running a little low on blood here. Could be a good chap and get me a fresh supply.” I replied,”Ah okay I’ll sent Carrie over with some this evening. Me and Cutesy have some investigating to do.”(Carrie is the Mystic Investigations receptionist) He then said,”That’s great. In the meantime Susan will do. He stared at me with a serious look on his face and then burst in laughter. I then said,”You bastard!” as we both laughed heartily.

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Me and Rebecca then went to City Hall to look up the property records to see who owned the house in the past. There was a small list and we then searched for death certificates and there was one match. An old woman named Hadie Daniels who had died from a blow to the head after falling. We then headed to Woodland Springs library to look up the obituary and related news articles. We found out she had slipped on her wet basement floor when her washer malfunctioned and overflowed. Coroners estimated she was dead for almost a month before authorities found her. The house appeared to have never been cleaned, with newspapers, TV dinner trays, and garbage stacked everywhere with an unbearable stench. She had no relatives or friends to speak of and rarely left the house according to neighbors reports which is why it took so long for anyone to realize there was a problem. There seemed to be no indication of any connections to the occult so I theorized she probably had a strong connection with her house and she had nobody to look forward to seeing in the afterlife so her spirit refused to move on. She mostly likely suffered in the end and didn’t die right away causing the build up of trauma needed for a person to become a ghost. In addition she probably had trauma in her life as well. Further investigation revealed she was raised in orphanages and foster homes with some evidence of abuse and strong evidence that she would gets violent at times probably as a result of said abuse. As she was a child in the 1900’s and 1920’s it would have been common for such abuse to not be investigated. She ironically was found dead on Friday, June 13th, 1986.

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Now that we had a working theory of the psychology of the poltergeist, we called in our resident psychic and communicator with the great beyond, Julia Hathaway. Our poltergeist expert Rob Edmunds was in Beverly Hills, California handling a haunting at a mansion of one of our wealthy clients. We all met back at the house at around 6:00 PM and noticed some of the windows were shattered. It seemed that the ghost of Hadie Daniels had become increasing more angry since we left the scene at around noon. Just in case we needed him we had Father Tom Davis come down as well. He’s a Catholic priest down at the Woodland Springs Church who often does pro bono work for us although we usually donate to the church in exchange for his help especially in exorcisms. He’s also our chief supplier of holy water which is an invaluable tool against many supernatural beings. Father Tom walked up as we waited outside and he handed me a bottle of holy water while saying,”I thought you could use some more. You haven’t been down to the church in a few weeks.” I replied,”Thanks! We’ve been busy lately. Later on I’ll tell you about what happened to me and Rebecca in Amish country recently.”

We tried to enter the front door but it wouldn’t budge. As Cutesy didn’t necessarily want to display her powers in front of the Father along with his Bible being a drain on her spell based powers, I Kung Fu kicked in the door. We we’re immediately hit with the wretched stench of sulfur as the Father began reciting the Lords prayer as he gripped his Bible tightly in one hand and a crucifix in the other. Julia said she sensed great pain and anger permeating the house. Just then the broken front door slammed shut and looked like it had glued itself together. I then removed the basement door from it’s hinges to stop anyone from being trapped down there. Rebecca led Julia into the basement which was the epicenter of the evil in the house. I stayed with the Father as he made his way around the house and I sprinkled holy water about. Rebecca and Julia sat in the basement floor surrounded by 7 black candles while holding hands around a crystal ball. Julia began contacting the ghost when all the sudden an ice cold wind enveloped them and upstairs a blood curdling scream could be heard. We both ran down the steps but they gave way and we fell to the floor. We were bruised but okay and then we saw the ghostly transparent apparition of an old woman standing near Rebecca and Julia screaming that this was her house and we should all leave before we die a horrible death. Julia tried to reason with her and get into her physiology but the Hadie was having any of that and a giant washing machine was moving right toward them in back of Rebecca. I screamed,”Watch out!” and Rebecca used her hands and flipped backward stopping it with her legs. A bucket then flew across the room and stuck Julia in the head knocking her out cold.

Me and the Father came at Hadie with holy water and words. The poltergeist got right up in the Fathers face and screamed,”GO TO HELL PRIEST!” A cold wind blew his hair back and then her blood red eyes stared right at me as a dryer came out of nowhere throwing me into a wall and knocking me out. Rebecca then yelled,”Hey bitch don’t mess with my boyfriend!” and she then utilized her one natural active power that required no spells. That being the “Mystic Sphere”. The origin of our business name, Mystic Investigations. The mystic sphere is a pink energy ball that repels anything outside it and protects anything inside it. The Father was shocked as he had never seen such power and he ducked for cover as things began violently flying all over the basement. Everything bounced off the sphere as the ghost shrieked loudly in the most unholy sounding voice ever! I came to and was pinned under the dryer. I appeared to be lying in a large pool of blood but couldn’t see how I could have lost that much and still be alive. I threw the dryer off me in a fit of super human strength and sprung up feeling absolutely perfect.

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This poltergeist had turned out to be far more powerful than any of us had thought.  The Father knelt in a corner praying as Cutesy held off the fly debris.  The ghost was converging on her and attempted to penetrate her mystic sphere.  It slowly began to push through it like a mouse moving through molasses.  I then pulled out a small cylinder and pulled a pin on it.  I lopped it at the poltergeist and yelled,”Take this you big bitch!”.  The device was a $100,000 last resort quantum level disruption grenade.  Despite being non-corporeal poltergeists must interact with the physical world on some level to cause their havoc.  Whether it be the sounds they make or physically moving things.  Research indicates it’s usually somewhere at the sub-atomic quantum level where energy and matter meet.  Their pure thought connects at that level to activate their physical manifestations.  The disruption device severs their connection with this reality and causes them to wander about the dream plane(world between life and death) for a varied amount of time until they can find their way back.  The hope is that they can’t find their way back which is what happens sometimes unless their connection with this reality is strong.

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The grenade burst near Rebecca’s Mystic Sphere just as the ghosts head was nearing hers and there was a flash of blinding light.  As it quickly dissipated we were all lying on the floor disoriented for a bit.  We all finally got up after a few minutes in the dark silence of the moldy smelling basement.  Julia awoke and I took my portable first aid kit to her and tended to her minor head wound.  The Father went to Rebecca and let her know he was concerned about her obvious practicing of the dark arts.  She made it known that she was a witch who worked only white magic but the father began quoting scripture about the evils of all magic. I came over to them and said,”Father I think we just have to agree to disagree on this.  Cutesy’s powers have been invaluable in our fight against the forces of evil and we wouldn’t be alive without them.”  The Father then said,”Very well then but I’m still going to pray for you and I wish you’d come down to the church for counseling.”

The father left, and Julia went home to recuperate while me and Rebecca drove to Drake’s house to inform Susan that her house was clean…for now anyway but she should stay away until Friday the 13th was over.  We entered when nobody answered the door.  The place appeared empty until we upstairs and found Drake and Susan in bed together.  I then said,”Drake what the hell?  I thought we agreed that you would stop sleeping with clients!”  He then replied,”Sorry pal!  Me and Susan hit it off and the rest was history.  Susan then said,”Oh Drake you’re the greatest lover I’ve ever had.”  We left at that point and figured she wouldn’t be going home anytime soon.  After a fine meal at Zamphirs Restaurant we headed home for the evening.  We’ll keep you informed if Hadie the poltergeist ever returns.

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13 years ago

Sweet blog, I had not noticed before during my searches!
Continue the wonderful work!


[…] door into shreds of wood.  I hadn’t seen this amazing display since that time we took on the Friday The 13th Poltergeist last year.  As she stormed out of the room I wondered if the insurance would cover extracting […]

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