PARA-CON: The Paranormal Investigators Conference

After wrapping up our mission in Pangea, Utah we drove the rest of the way to Las Vegas just in time to catch the last half of the Paranormal Investigators Conference. We quickly set up our own booth and browsed the others including some talks being given in the various conference halls.  About 60% of the investigators and their firms were quacks either trying to make a quick buck or merely attempting to share their loony tune world with everyone.  A few important meetings took place behind closed doors with real investigators.  We discussed many issues including the state of the wicked world and the role of the supernatural in the formation of the tyrannical global government being formed in secret.

Attempted Supernatural Exposure!

The only event that is worth mentioning was an investigator on the paranormal fringe, named Percy Allen, who believes that everything supernatural is evil.  He attempted to expose our Executive VP Drake Alexander to the world as a Vampire.  Drake was speaking in a conference hall discussing his expertise in battling vampires as it was being recorded for the web.  Percy ran on stage screaming, “He’s a vampire! It’s Holy Water time you filthy undead fiend!” He then threw a big bucket of water on Drake while holding a crazy huge crucifix near him.  Apparently, the fool blessed the water himself because it had little effect on Drake. He said he felt a slight tingling sensation.  As for the crucifix, Drake had trained himself to not cringe at its presence anymore.

Transparency Amid Supernatural Secrecy

Percy attempted to touch him with it. Had he succeeded people would have witnessed a puff of unholy smoke rise from Drake’s living dead skin. Luckily Julia Hathaway had a psychic vision a moment beforehand and was already on stage kicking the crucifix out of Percy’s hand.  Hunter Jackson and I ran up afterward and carted the fool away while he yelled, “He’s a member of the living dead!  He’ll drain your blood!  It’s pure evil!  An abomination to the Holy Lord I tell you!” Despite Drake openly discussing vampires and his experience with them it could all just be made-up stories as far as most are concerned. This is how to stay on the right side of The Supernatural Secrecy Pact. Our entire website is presented in this way. We expose the paranormal truth under the guise of it plausibly being works of the imagination. Drake being exposed as a vampire with proof would be a violation that would be indirectly enforced by the royal vampires of Transvannia that surely don’t want their existence exposed to the mainstream world!

A Nut Laughed Off Stage

Everyone in the audience was laughing as Drake said, “Damn what the hell did they spike the punch with?”  Then everyone laughed even harder as our receptionist Carrie handed Drake a towel to dry off.  He continued his speech as we took Percy into the alley out back to have a discussion with him. We tried to reason with him that we fight on the side of good and he should get a grip and settle down.  He simply wasn’t listening to us and Hunter finally slapped him in the face as he struggled to break free and ranted hysterically like a crazy man!  He then threatened to call the police and sue us.  We told him to back the hell off and get a life otherwise we might have to use magic to make him disappear.

Our resident witch and VP Rebecca Abernathy walked up just then and turned a garbage dumpster invisible with a wicca spell. We said it was thrown into a dark void of hell in the hopes of really scaring Percy.  He then screamed, “WITCH!” with a look of fear on his pathetic little face.  The sad man then ran away down the alley and we didn’t see him again.  Hunter had lifted his wallet from his pocket so we could get a look at his drivers license.  Now we know where he lives in Colorado Springs and will be keeping an eye on him. After that, the rest of PARA-CON went off without a hitch.

Also See: Our Main Paranormal Investigators Conference Page (PARA-CON)

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