Who Do Saint Patrick’s Day Drunks Fear More Than Cops?
The most diabolical days of drunkenness include New Year’s Eve, Saint Patrick’s Day, and Blackout Wednesday, aka Thanksgiving Eve. These are the party times of idiotic inebriation that lead to injury and death most commonly seen in the despicable drunk driver. Some of these fools filling up on fermented fluids will face the frightening consequences of their asinine actions! Either through accidents or supernatural intervention. Interestingly enough, there are Gods and Goddesses of drunkenness. The most notorious is the Aztec God Ometochtli who is actually a collective of alcohol-related Gods. As they saw their power wane amid a lack of worship within modern times they melded into a collective consciousness that focused on siphoning the metaphysical energy of the morally corrupt human soul. Specifically, those who get tanked up on booze. They also have a nasty knack of punishing especially reprehensible drunkards by bringing bad luck down upon them! More often than not the elevated entity goes after those whose reckless behavior causes the death of innocent individuals. In those cases, Ometochtli is exacting sweet vengeance for the fallen who wisely abstained from ingesting intoxicants. If the human legal system doesn’t get the OWI offender then the wrath of an alarming Aztec God will!
The Rabbit Representation Of The Aztec God Ometochtli
Ometochtli actually means “Two Rabbit” and was represented as being a rabbit by ancient Aztecs. Often alcohol was consumed sensibly from clay rabbit-shaped vessels to appease Ometochtli. Sometimes the God would appear as one or more horrifying humanoid rabbits to those it offended. In most cultures, rabbits symbolize good luck, fertility, spring renewal, and other positive things. However, within the Aztec culture, the rabbit represents drunkenness and promiscuity. It’s thought that the ancients observed the usual notorious mating behavior of rabbits amid them eating fallen fermented fruits causing intoxication in the animals. This is most likely where the “Two Rabbit” came from. Not to mention the dual nature of alcoholic moderation and proper procreation versus falling prey to dangerous drunkenness and the blasphemous bedding of anything that moves!
If you’re a wanton drunk who starts seeing the quintessential pink elephants then you have nothing to worry about. However, if you have vivid visions of random rabbits hopping everywhere then it’s only a matter of time before the big bunny Ometochtli appears! We recommend sobering up as quickly as you can and then head to the nearest church or other holy ground ASAP! Some say your only hope in such a situation is to pray to the Easter Bunny to intervene on your behalf! They have respect for the bunny man and tend to leave drunks alone upon his wishes. It wouldn’t hurt to celebrate Easter to the fullest if you have a tendency to languish in lousy liquor!🐇
The Cult Of Ometochtli
Naturally, there is a small group that still worships Ometochtli known as The Ometochtli Cuāuhocēlōtl or The Warriors Of Ometochtli. The ancient cult supporting the God Of Drunks survives to this day in Mexico and Central America. They are known to attack or kidnap drunks. Especially those who engage in wanton physical behavior. If they can’t get them in tavern parking lots then they follow them driving in their drunken stupor. Once in a secluded spot, they’ll run them off the road! If you have a drunk accident look upon those who provide aid with a suspicious eye. The unfortunate kidnapped individuals then become a blatant blood sacrifice to their God Ometochtli! It’s said the victims are literally drowned in the alcohol they so love as cultists drink from the vile mix. It’s usually the Aztec beverage Pulque made from Agave Americana.
Apparently racking up enough righteous sacrifices grants cult members an eternal afterlife where their soul becomes intertwined with Ometochtli. This would command override the normal Heavenly ascension of the human soul. Those who are sacrificed would spend some time in Mictlan, aka the Aztec Underworld, before Angels claimed the souls and sent them to Purgatory for further cleansing. Take care to avoid getting hopped up on liquor or even various drugs when traveling within Latin American countries. Of course, nothing stops the Cult or Ometochtli from going international. They have been reported sparsely all over the world on occasion. Especially in nations celebrating holidays ripe with alcoholic consumption. Keep that in mind when the party-time addiction hits and the odd need to ingest mind-altering substances takes hold!🐇
🌎 Mystic Investigations hasn’t had the pleasure of dealing with Ometochtli or the Cult that follows the God. That being said it is doubtful we would intervene as the drunks brought their ordeal upon themselves. Although we would save the individual if this was isolated behavior and the scare alone would keep them away from the silly sauce.🍺
Also See: The Myth Of The 440 Drunken Aztec Rabbits