Paranormal Defense Agency Pandemonium Averted

Paranormal Defense AgencyIf you’ve read our Google+, Facebook, and other social media posts then you’ll know that the government had an image of our witch Rebecca Abernathy taken from the International Space Station.  This happened when our entire team was battling a pack of Werewolves on the night of the Wolf Moon.  In a panic, as she was being attacked by a Werewolf, Rebecca activated her Mystic Sphere shooting herself nearly into outer space.  Close enough for the space station to capture her on camera.  Thankfully the image was blurry but it was enough to send agents from the notorious US Paranormal Defense Agency (PDA) to our doorstep.

An agent named Scott Skylark, posing as a potential client, came to our office.  He said his house was haunted by ghosts.  Julia Hathaway, our psychic, sensed he was lying as she also saw the dark specter of many diabolical paranormal experiments, torture, and death.  Rebecca Abernathy being the most alluring woman at our company was able to easily get close enough to Scott to pick his pocket which revealed his government ID.  Vampire Drake Alexander checked with his government informants which is how we found out about Rebecca being photographed while using her powers.  The danger of this is that the government almost always takes supernatural beings into custody for experimentation, and sometimes forced enlistment in the PDA’s quest to control the world of the paranormal.

We also detected a surveillance van with two other agents monitoring Mystic Investigations.  Everyone had to be on alert not to use any of their special abilities.  We pretended to take the case as we contemplated our next move carefully.  The haunted house in question wasn’t haunted at all.  Both Julia, and Rebecca could feel that was the case while our Ghost Buster Rob Edmunds was detecting anomalies consistent with paranormal activity.  However his extensive experience in the field of Phantasmologly told him that the readings weren’t quite right.  We eventually realized that the entire house was rigged with advanced electronics simulating the presence of a poltergeist.  Drake Alexander could also see camera’s, and mics hidden about with his super vision, and sensitive hearing.

So it was easy for everyone to stay cool, and not use any powers.  Well until some type of hideous experimental hybrid monster was released from a hidden panel in the wall.  All we could do is shoot the thing with silver bullets, holy water, and various mystical herbal solutions which seemed to have no effect on the abomination which resembled a cross between a human, Werewolf, Manticore, Sasquatch, and a Gorilla on major steroids!  The thing towered over us at nearly eight feet tall but was shorter when using it’s arms to walk on all fours.  It let loose an unholy roar, and drooled green goo everywhere.  The horrific beast was clearly in pain while in a hellish rage at the same time.  Drake, the physically strongest member of our team, threw himself at the beast as a sacrifice so we could barely escape with our lives.  With out hands tied unable to utilize our powers we were virtually as helpless as any human.

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The injuries Drake suffered were so extensive that he had no choice but to fake his death since as a vampire he would easily heal.  The hellish horror came crashing through the wall into the outdoors while Drake lie inside playing dead.  Hunter Jackson, our Ex-Navy Seal, took out a rocket launcher, and blasted the beast into 1000 pieces thereby ending the outlandish ordeal.  We employed our friend Sheriff Blake Maverick to help fake Drake’s death complete with death certificate, and mock funeral.  Unfortunately the three man PDA agent team had bugged all our homes during the funeral.  There was no way for us to live paranormal lives so we had to take extraordinary action.

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Rebecca employed an energy dampening spell to knock out the surveillance equipment while Drake appeared back from the dead in an attempt to hypnotize Agent Scott Skylark into thinking there was nothing to investigate here. Vampires are well known for their powers to compel people, and re-program minds.  Unfortunately Scott was immune to vampire hypnosis, and identified Drake as a vampire right away. He shot holy water from a hose coming out of his sleeve causing Drake to be temporarily burned as white vapors rose from his skin. Agent Skylark then pulled out a silver bullet loaded gun but our team jumped him before he could shoot Drake with the vampire Kryptonite. We had no alternative but to lock Skylark up in our Werewolf cages in the sub-basement.  The two agents in the van joined him as well.  Thankfully there was no live feed to a government server.  However they are required to call their PDA field office every 6 hours. We faked the calls as we learned that all three agents were not only immune to vampire mind control but Rebecca’s magical manipulation as well.  Julia also had no luck using her psychic techniques.

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We called in Drake’s vampire mother Duanna Sargon who is a powerful fourth generation vampire. As suspected she was able to break whatever magical programming protected their brains, and her hypnosis was successful after an intense all night session. It seems the three US Paranormal Defense Agency operatives had their brains conditioned against paranormal puppetry by a powerful government Wizard. I wonder how one gets a job as a bureaucratic wizard? I guess if they can’t make it freelance, or join up with a top flight firm like Mystic Investigations, then government is the only other option.  We typed up fake surveillance reports, and doctored the computer files in their surveillance van including all video. Mostly thanks to our bionic boy wonder, and technical wizard Zack Powers.  Hunter Jackson, and I then drove the van with the three agents in a hypnotic trance to the edge of town up to a stop sign. I proceeded to give them a hypnotic keyword trigger as we scurried away into the woods. They’ll wake up thinking they were simply leaving town after finding nothing in their investigation.  Indeed after a short pause they drove away never to be seen again.

In addition our government informant has utilized the right people to doctor the photo of Rebecca in space so it looks like a geomagnetic anomaly. Would you believe that cost us a million dollars to make that happen! Damn we better get hired by some more millionaires soon! No actually Drake Alexander paid for it since he said he didn’t like the fact that he was unable to hypnotize the agents. He loathes failure of any type! Thankfully as a 700+ year old vampire he’s collected a lot of treasure over the years, especially from his pirate days, along with compound interest over hundreds of years in various bank accounts.

In the future we will have to be more careful when using our paranormal abilities since there are various forces of evil ,both governmental, and private in nature, looking to stake their claim on the paranormal planet in their quest for global domination!

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