What Is A Money Monster?
A Money Monster is a unique paranormal creature that grows to no more than a foot tall. It is bright green in color with large green with envy eyes and protruding diamond sharp teeth. The micro monstrous menace has two fin-like arms it will flap around as a show of force along with parrot-like feet with large dull claws. The Money Monster’s sole purpose for existence is the hunting and consuming of currency in any form. Basically, anything that a person would exchange for goods. In rare cases, it will go after bartered goods as well. Mostly it enjoys devouring paper currency, and secondly all manner of metal coins with a special love for gold, and silver. Its third favorite food is credit cards. It’s rumored that when they sleep their spirits are drawn to cyberspace transactions, and when online purchases go awry, they may be the cause! In recent years they’ve begun gobbling up Cryptocurrency in their dreams! Although more often than not it’s Cyber-Demonic activity!
The Origin Of Money Monsters
Money Monsters are said to be a product of powerful magical practitioners, along with Gods they called upon, mixed with the human collective subconsciousness Spirit Of Greed. A non-sapient entity whose metaphysical energies manifest via human greed. All human factors, especially emotions, spontaneously manifest as spirits within the human collective consciousness. It’s unknown if Money Monsters were created on purpose or were an unintentional consequence of a powerful spell along with an unfortunate confluence of enchanted events! We do know that the fangs of these ferocious financial freaks are drawn to the greed of people rather than large stashes of cash. Although having money on site is essential. The brazen Beast doesn’t attack people unless provoked or threatened in some way. It just wants your treasure! Often billionaires and millionaires obsessed with money are the ones who fall victim to the monster of money. In the dead of night, they hear a loud noise accompanied by insane growling, and find the door ripped clean off their safe with every penny missing!
How To Repel Money Monsters
Those in the supernatural know take precautions to protect their cash, precious metals, plastic, and even stock certificates. Mother Nature always seems to provide a lifeline to humans in all areas of their existence if they know where to look. When it comes to the Money Monster there are two plants that fit the bill, and repel the blasphemous bastards! The best deterrent, next to simply not being greedy, is the Silver Dollar Plant (Lunaria Annua) and to a lesser extent true natural Four Leaf Clovers (Trifolium Repens). The repellent properties are most powerful when these two plants are used in tandem against the monied menace! If you see an affluent property with these plants growing on them then you can be pretty sure they know a good deal about the real paranormal world! If left with no choice you can eradicate a Money Monster with an aluminum bullet or knife. Plausibly because it’s the most abundant metal on Earth. The fashioned weapon is more effective when you write free or a negative value (-$1, etc) on it. That being said, aluminum alone doesn’t repel the crazy creatures. Due to their fast speed and agility, it will be hard to target them. If you manage to kill these mad monsters they will instantly burst into glittering green and gold dust. When the dust settles, everything they ever ate will appear!
Eye Witness Account
There was a time our Executive Vice-President the Vampire Drake Alexander was greed driven to collect all manner of money. It’s the reason he’s amassed several millions over his seven centuries of existence. Had he not gotten rid of that greed he would probably have billions but at what cost to his personal integrity, and current mission to help humankind! He is the only member of our supernatural crime-fighting team that has seen a live Money Monster. During his days as a high-seas pirate, he witnessed his hidden treasure rapidly eaten by a Money Monster in mere seconds. Even racing back to the chest at super speed, moments after burying it on a beach, he couldn’t even capture the creature who darted away like The Flash! There is no record of a live specimen ever being captured due to their amazing speed, and agility!
Money Monster Thefts
Money Monsters are a danger to anyone who is greedy, paranoid, and keeps large amounts of valuables in their vicinity. Storing your valuables in a bank can also be a danger if any of the employees are obsessed with the accumulation of wealth. There is an unconfirmed rumor that all the gold in Fort Knox is gone courtesy of a Money Monster! One of the most prolific verified cases, hidden by the government from the media, was at a major Manhattan bank in 1986. A Money Monster was captured on extremely slow-motion video cleaning out a huge bank vault, and all the safety deposit boxes in under 30 seconds! This is one of the more puzzling aspects of this monetary monster. It can eat quantities of currency exponentially larger than its own body with no evidence of ever eating it. This would suggest some kind of transmutation of physical matter into metaphysical matter, or energy.
Death Equals Titanic Treasure!
The metaphysical matter theory would explain the paranormal premise that these monsters leave behind everything they ever ate in lieu of their bodies when they die. Metaphysical matter is often out of phase with our reality, and the Money Monster’s body could be the physical anchor. Once it’s extinguished the meta matter would phase back into our reality, and return to normal physical form. If the money remains intact this indicates that they solely subsist off the metaphysical energy mustered from people fueled by a lust for financial gain. If you happen to spot the Money Monster just think charitable thoughts of giving, and throw all your money at it! Odds are you will walk away unharmed. If you go for the kill you may walk away as the richest person on Earth or lose an arm and a leg!💰