Mystic Investigations Crashes The Plague Doctor’s Pandemic Party!

Despite The Plague Doctor’s embarrassing failure to bring about a true deadly global pandemic via the Coronavirus, and his Zombie Flu, he’s still going on as if he’s making sinister strides. He must uphold the image of being the world’s greatest paranormal purveyor of diseases! Mystic Investigations got wind of The Plague Doctor holding an epic pandemic recruitment party for his cult. The posh parties lure in the downtrodden and disenfranchised in the hopes of inducting them into The Plague Doctor Cult. The Doctor’s Cult serves at their dark diseased Lord’s leisure and aids in his plots to perpetrate pandemics all over the planet. The party also serves to spread vile viruses and blasphemous bacteria to unsuspecting so called Useful Idiots. This particular plague party was held at a huge house in The Hamptons. A magnificent mansion that the Plague Doctor borrowed from the owners who lie dead in the basement!

As the grandfather clock struck Midnight, a group of almost 50 new potential cult members stood in the grand foyer surrounded by watchful full fledged cultists and guards. For two hours before that, they had enjoyed a classy party of top-flight entertainment, refreshments, and booze to make them feel more at ease. At the top of a huge staircase the Doctor Of Death himself, Dr. Darius Maximilian aka The Plague Doctor, stood on the balcony in his complete ceremonial robe and spooky bird beak mask. Next to him was his Lieutenant in catastrophic crime Mary Mallon, aka Typhoid Mary, wearing an old school nurses costume as a mockery against the medical establishment. On the other side of him was a relatively new figure in his organization who recently became third in command. He is known as Doctor Penrose but most simply call him Penrose. A mysterious thirtysomething Epidemiologist and surgeon who usually hides in the shadows. He wore a blue surgeons uniform. The Plague Doctor looked down upon a fearful crowd unsure of what they had gotten themselves into in the name of curiosity and the promise of a far better life. The Doctor then removed his macabre mask to reveal his handsome smiling exterior to the crowd that breathed a brief sigh of relief. He then gave a rousing speech accentuated by his outstanding charisma which is the standard for his cult induction ceremony…

“Good Evening my honored guests. It brings me immense joy to witness so many fine men and women ready to work with me in improving humankind’s condition though the sound evolutionary policy that is the Survival Of The Fittest!  My name is Dr. Darius Maximilian and I am the one and only Plague Doctor! I will be your mentor and dare I say savior on the momentous journey ahead of you. By choosing to be here tonight you have already taken the first step toward a future beyond your wildest dreams! Tonight you lie on the cusp of greatness in a time when mediocrity is unfairly commended while the truly talented are rewarded with false hopes that never see the light of day. Our society suffers from a sickness running rampant without an antidote. Thankfully, I have the cure and it lies with everyone here playing a vital role to restore our civilization to greatness. I implore you to join me in my quest to eradicate what ails our once serene species that lived in harmony with Mother Nature once upon a time. Our noble cause needs your considerable cooperation. If you decide to join me and my amazing allies then along the way expect to receive all that you deserve in life. All that was denied you by those inferior to you. Those who had unfair advantages and forced you underfoot for their own ill-gotten gains! The unworthy who stole your rightful destiny like a thief in the night! As we lift humankind to its maximum potential we shall eradicate the ones who destroyed your potential and that of other innocents upon our righteous planet!

The Plague Doctor then placed his mask back on in the silence of excited anticipation and finished his snake oil sermon…Read The Rest On Our Supernatural Short Story Blog…

The Memorial Day Zombie Ghost

All of us as at Mystic Investigations had off on Memorial Day. Of course theoretically, we’re never off duty since supernatural darkness never sleeps! Most of us went our separate ways but saw each other at the various festivities throughout the warm sunny day in Woodland Springs, Colorado. This included the annual Memorial Day Parade in the morning.  I noticed an odd grey skinned man wearing a tattered World War II soldier’s uniform complete with faded green helmet.  He was walking among the parade floats with a sinister look on his unsettling face. Our Telekinetic Psychic Julia Hathaway found us and said she felt chills up her spine when the mysterious man looked directly at her! She called his eyes soulless coals of death! The fair Demi-Mermaid Witch Rebecca Abernathy also said something wasn’t right about him. Well besides the stale zombie looking skin. We tried to find him but he disappeared into the crowd without a trace.

Did Nazi Experiments Cause The Impeccable Preservation Of A Corpse?

Later in the afternoon, we attended a solemn service at the local cemetery to honor the men and women of the armed forces who had given their lives to defend our fundamental freedoms. A special ceremony was held in front of the Mulroney Family Crypt. The Mulroney’s were a moderately wealthy family who made their fortune in mining back in the late 1800’s. A long-lived fortune that still allowed them to live like millionaires. The 76-year-old Patriarch Wallace Mulroney was recently informed that his MIA Father’s remains were miraculously found in Germany.  Shockingly they were found rather well preserved in a secret Nazi underground laboratory only discovered mere months ago. There was a media cover-up due to the secrecy of the experiments that were paranormal in nature. Unholy experiments dabbling in immortality!  Records indicate that the loyal Nazi scientists wanted to grant Adolph Hitler eternal rule over Germany, and the world. They had a diabolical plan to not only make him immortal but also imbue him with the full range of psychokinetic powers all humans have in latent form within their junk DNA (Develop PSI Powers). That would have made him an unstoppable God! The world could have easily plunged perilously into terrifying tyranny!  Thankfully the war ended before their plans came to frightening fruition… Read The Rest Of The Story On Our Supernatural Stories Blog

Mystic Investigations Raided Pandemic Profiteers Homes!

As the Coronavirus Pandemic rages on a new breed of titanic turd has emerged! Those who travel to several stores in trucks and buy up hand sanitizer, toilet paper, surgical masks, and all manner of non-perishable goods amid the insane panic shopping taking place. Some selfishly keep it for themselves under some misguided belief that that apocalypse is at hand. For reasons not fully understood toilet paper is the big thing to buy up. Plausibly they have a rare form of Corona Diarrhea. Others look to sell their bounty of products at over-inflated prices to take advantage of people. In the mix, these bastards are screwing over the low income, elderly, and those on the front line fighting this perplexing pandemic! A pandemic we know that was perpetrated by The Plague Doctor! His chaotic cult stole a vexing virus from a Chinese bio-warfare lab and then altered it with unique paranormal properties. This included precursors to the zombie virus that can cause Zombie Flu and in rare cases the actual full blown Zombie Virus itself. These facts have been kept from the general public by the US Paranormal Defense Agency and the equivalent organizations of other nations!

Sweet Pandemic Justice!

We here at Mystic Investigations are disgusted by these sons of bitches bull crap! Especially when we can’t buy what we need at local stores due to the shelves being empty as if this is the Soviet Union! Thankfully, our paranormal investigations organization is made up of immortal supernatural beings who may operate above the law for the sake of justice! Last night we raided the biggest bastards in our tri-county area and took most of their selfish stockpiles while leaving some with a reasonable amount. We then distributed them to local charities, nursing homes, community centers, medical centers, and those we know who are in real need of various items. Just like Santa Claus delivering his Christmas gifts we completed our mission as the sun rose. Below are a few tales of the profiteers and hoarders who didn’t take kindly to us entering their heinous homes and taking their ill-gotten gains! Read About Our Vampire And Demi-Mermaid Witch Kicking In the Doors Of Heinous Hoarders & Pandemic Profiteers…