Who Is The Splinter Man?

The Splinter Man is a dangerous deformed paranormal monster that wanders the various woodlands of Europe, and Asia. He was once an evil British wizard simply named Gregor. We know very little about his elusive past. Sometime in the late 1880’s he attempted to access some deeply dark magics in his mad quest for immortal powers. Unfortunately for him, he got his wish for immortality. A prize that came with a heavy price. He performed his immortal magic ritual in the Black Forest of Germany during the Midnight Witching Hour. He traveled all the way there as the forest is known to be enchanted. These enchantments facilitated Gregor calling upon higher dimensional beings of an unknown origin. We know that they were neither demons, dark deities, or even Jinn. Some think it was the mysterious Conexsus who are a unique collective of many higher dimensional entities.

Risky Dark Magic Results In An Immortal Curse!

As Gregor chanted his sinister spell in various dead languages he performed blood sacrifices with thirteen people he had kidnapped earlier. Upon the final despicable death, a surge of dark energy shot through him with such force that it launched him into a huge tree. He had entered into uncharted mystical territory and assumed he was calling upon powerful beings for power. However, he unknowingly opened an unstable paranormal portal for these blasphemous beings to cross into our dimension. This caused the forest around him to be out of phase with our reality. When he was thrown into the tree he merged with the trunk as the portal manifested and then closed as it quickly lost supernatural steam. The unique nature of the dark metaphysical energy then caused the wood to merge with his body all the way down to the genetic level. After breaking away most of the excess trunk Gregor emerged as seen in the illustration above. A monstrous mystical wood monster-human hybrid standing at about 8 feet tall!

The Wood-Human Hybrid Of Horror!

He hobbled about wildly due to his deformed uneven heavy limbs as he screamed insanely sounding gibberish from his wooden throat! His ability to perform magic became deeply limited in this frightening form. He was so enraged that he went on a rampage in the nearest village killing everyone including a pack of wolves eating a deer nearby. Gregor seems to require a lot of energy to move about so he consumes quite a bit of protein. His reign of terror continued for several years until various farmers, and hunters realized he was vulnerable to large sharp implements, and fire due to the wood ingrained into his cells. The German people called him Splitter Mann, aka Splinter Man, because of the wood splinters he would leave behind where ever he traveled. Anyone impaled by even a small splinter would become deathly ill, and acquire what is called The Splinter Virus. A supernatural sickness that begins to transmute the entire body into wood until the victim dies within weeks. Currently, there is no known cure for the Splinter Virus.

The Eurasian Terror!

Over the many decades of his hellish existence, Splinter Man made his way around the Eurasian continent steering clear of bitterly cold regions. Since the late 1880’s he’s done nothing but terrorize innocent men, women, children, and animals. Various sightings have been recorded over the last century up to the present. US soldiers in the middle east reported seeing him during their various military objectives since the first Gulf War. He was even spotted in the Korean, and Vietnam Wars as well. Naturally, the governments of the world have suppressed this information so as not to alarm the general public. Thankfully he seems only interested in killing large adults for a quick cannibal meal. Although I guess he really isn’t human anymore so we can’t consider him a cannibal. He generally goes for large muscular men as they provide the most meat for any given kill.

The Paranormal Predator Splinter Man!

When humans aren’t easily accessible he will rabidly devour just about any animal he can get his hands on. Eye witness accounts indicate that his super strength and sharp hickory like limbs allow him to easily vanquish bears, wildcats, and even animals all the way up to Elephants. Those sharp hickory limbs have also been known to slay vampires and takedown werewolves with extreme prejudice! This big bastard will eat anything that moves! Despite his deformed limbs, and wild staggering movement he has grown quite capable of moving very fast. It’s estimated that he can run up to 35 mph as reported by horrified motorists whose vehicles he has chased. His magical powers seem to be limited to simple spells, mind control, and telekinesis. He has been known to confuse people and put delusions in their mind as a form of torture. Splinter Man can use his telekinesis to knock people down, and draw them toward him up to 15 feet away! When using his paranormal powers his eyes glow green.

Splinter Man Is A Mediocre Magician

His ability to practice magic has become beyond difficult due to his human soul being in conflict with a body ill-equipped to receive it. This causes an imbalance in metaphysical energies that interfere with magical spells. This surrounds him in an erratic aura that renders most photography and video ineffective in capturing his image. Also, his deformed limbs are unable to handle mystical texts, mix potions, and say spells properly since he’s barely able to talk. It sounds like a gravelly two-year-old learning to talk. Mostly he growls in a way that sounds like a cross between a Werewolf, and a train whistle. It’s a most unique, and spine chilling sound. If you ever hear it your first instinct is to run for your ever-loving life!

Splinter Man’s Last Major Sighting

The Splinter Man’s last major sighting as of the original publication of this article was in the village of Chinnamanaickenpalayam in India. He was chasing innocent bystanders with elephant blood splattered all over him! Amid his growls, he repeatedly muttering in a raspy voice something that sounded like, “Me likes duh phanter!” Amazingly a paranormal investigator arrived on the scene just in time to record him saying it. The brave warrior then ran to safety near a big bonfire. Click here for the .wav file to hear the Splinter Man. He still seems to speak English and hasn’t bothered to acquire any other language skills. Probably because nobody can understand his mumbling anyway.

Splinter Man’s Reign Of Terror!

Since the incident in India, there have only been sparse unsubstantiated sightings until the updates given at the end of this article. This includes a run-in with Bigfoot! This is not unusual since he’s smart enough to know that he will be stopped if he terrorizes people non-stop. The longer he does this the more we in the paranormal community close in on him! Splinter’s only joys in life seem to be hunting down big game and tormenting innocent people! Thankfully he seems to avoid water which is why he hasn’t made it to the rest of the world. Pray he doesn’t make it on to a cargo ship!  Some evidence suggests that he heavily absorbs water, and it softens his body over time. So dousing him in water might be another potential defense along with fire, and large sharp implements such as swords, hand saws, and even chain saws. This water weakness might explain his avoidance of very cold regions. Perhaps any absorbed water would freeze thereby temporarily petrifying him. Then he can be chain sawed down for firewood!

The Wood Splinters Of This Malevolent Monster

Mystic Investigations has samples of his splinters in our laboratory for cryptid study, and use in magic that requires the presence of unique elements. They are widespread around the world and most reputable paranormal firms will have some in stock. However, they must be handled with extreme care otherwise one could acquire the Splinter Virus. If you have spotted the Splinter Man or know his current whereabouts then please contact Mystic Investigations or your nearest paranormal investigations crime-fighting firm.  Do not approach the Splinter Man as he is quite diabolical and deeply dangerous!  If he begins to chase you try to get into a building or climb a tree as fast as you can. You will need to be at least 15 feet above the ground to avoid his potential mind control and telekinetic powers. If not then the last thing you may see are his jagged wooden teeth coming at you!

Updates

  • March 20, 2016: Witnesses place him in various rural areas in Cuba. After over a century he finally had the bright idea to hitch a ride on a cargo ship or finally decided to risk the ocean waters. He did have quite a few supernatural hunters after him so perhaps he decided to hide on the other side of the world. Many from families of hunters who have tracked his routine for decades.
  • August 12, 2019: First sighting on continental North American soil in Yucatan, Mexico.
  • April 22, 2020: First sighting in the United States. Last seen in the Florida Everglades eating a large crocodile while a mostly eaten Manatee lay dead nearby. A giant Sasquatch roared onto the scene! Splinter actually hesitated as he will attack anything. For the first time, he fled the scene when faced with a one on one fight. Usually, only a mob of armed humans or magical practitioners scare him away. I guess Splinter knows not to mess with Bigfoot!

The Frightening Forked Lake Lusus Naturae

Forked Lake is a large picturesque body of water located in the Adirondack Park within the State of New York. As with many large bodies of water, there are always at least a scattering of odd supernatural sightings and paranormal phenomenon.  With each passing year, there have been more reports of the Forked Lake Monster, aka Forked Lake Lusus Naturae, as the locals call it. The creature is said to be at least 12-15 feet in length with a unique mostly crimson coloring. At night its eyes glow an ominous orange along with the azure shimmering of its tentacles. Witnesses describe the blasphemous behemoth as a giant squid with two Narwhal like horns on the top of its head. There are also some Killer Whale features such as the black dorsal fin.😈

Signs Of The Paranormal Monstrosity


The Forked Lake Lusus Naturae is notorious for capsizing boats and scaring local tourists. Especially when it scoops swimmers down into the murky depths before catapulting them back to the surface while letting out a hyena-like laugh. This suggests that the beast is sentient and toys with humans for its own personal joy. So far it hasn’t seriously injured or killed anyone that we know of. However, some blame the monstrosity for missing persons in the area. Cryptid Researchers are relatively sure the Forked Lake Monster is a vegetarian that subsists off plants growing on the lake bed, and along the shores. Various sulfurous gasses bubbling to the water’s surface every so often is suspected to be the monsters doing. This wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary for a large herbivore as they are often notorious for producing noxious gasses.💩

The Origins Of The Alarming Lake Monster

The origins of the Forked Lake Monstrosity are rumored to lie at an abandoned top-secret Adirondack Mountains facility. A place of magical experimentation run by dark wizard masters. Possibly Level 9 or greater!  The first sightings coincide with the forced closing of the facility in the late 1990s by paranormal crime fighters. These despicable masters of maligned magic were looking for ways to mystically combine, and enhance animal species. All in a misguided effort to create the perfect supernatural being for use in a monstrous army of darkness!  A deadly attack beast that would follow telepathic commands at will.

Could The Forked Lake Lusus Naturae Actually Be Human?

There were even whisperings of human brains being used in the dark enchanted experiments. It’s plausible the Forked Lake Lusus Naturae was an innocent human whose brain was transplanted into a horrifying hybrid body via supernatural surgery! Now trapped as a monster all they have to live for is tormenting people! Yet they retain enough of their humanity so as not to cause too much harm. Certainly, communication in their present form would be next to impossible! Various Practitioners Of Magic and Cryptozoologists have said they could work together to transplant the human brain back into a male or female human form. Of course, they would have to first make some kind of psychic contact to determine if the monster is actually human. If you spot the Forked Lake Fright then contact Mystic Investigations or the Adirondack Mountain Monster Society ASAP so we can help it, and remove any future potential threat it might possess!🐙

What Are The Bigfoot Sasquatch?

 

The Sasquatch, otherwise known as Bigfoot, are bipedal hominid cryptid’s native to the dense isolated forests of the Northern United States and Southern Canada. Although the densest populations are in the Pacific Northwest. Their height can range approximately from 8-10 feet tall. Weight falls anywhere from 700-900 pounds. There appears to be no size difference between male and female Sasquatch. The noble beasts have an apish Neanderthal appearance covered in shaggy medium to long length fur that ranges in various shades of brown color. Only the face, human-like hand palms, and foot pads are mostly free of hair. The Bigfoot has thick sharp claws used to cut through dense foliage, mark tree trunks, dig into the ground, and dispatch hunters after them! It’s also said the claws have the same effect as silver on Werewolves and other monsters who call it poison! They have expressive human-like eyes that are usually burnt sienna in color. In darkness, they glow dimly amber as the Bigfoot has excellent night vision. They will glow a brighter yellow when a practitioner of magic is attacking them. This is their immunity to magic being activated! The creature generally emits a foul odor that intensifies when it feels threatened.

The Powers Of The Bigfoot

In addition to the aforementioned immunity to all magic, they are immortal. The seemingly indestructible Sasquatch also possesses super strength, speed, agility, enhanced senses, and a sixth sense that warns them of impending danger. They have strong healing factors and there is no evidence they acquire any diseases. This includes paranormal ones such as the dreaded Zombie virus. Faunapathic powers allow them to peacefully interact with all animals including grizzly bears and wild cats! Although timid gentle herbivores by nature they can be ferocious monsters when provoked or someone deeply trespasses on their territory. It’s said there isn’t a supernatural being on Earth who isn’t afraid of Bigfoot nor it’s paranormal cousin the Abominable Snowman Yeti. Even the strongest Vampires and Werewolves will turn tail and run when faced with an angry Sasquatch!

Bigfoot Culture

The Sasquatch people have a primitive intelligence and feel a wide range of emotions. There is a loose culture that chose to live completely in tune with nature. There is some evidence they practice herbal medicine, worship Gods, bury their dead, discuss the dangers human society poses, and contemplate their lives. Some may use primitive tools but they don’t build fires as they have no use for them. They communicate with each other in an indecipherable guttural grunting language. When angered they growl louder than a lion yet let loose a high pitched warning cry that travels miles. The Bigfoot has the ability to sign language with humans. Particularity the Native Americans they communed with early on and trusted to hide them from the European settlers in later centuries. The Indians looked upon the Sasquatch as holy sacred beings of Mother Nature.

Sasquatch Lifestyle

The Bigfoot enjoys roaming about the secluded woods making friends with animals and nature deities such as nymphs and Fairies while they forage for plants to eat. In particular, they love pine cones and evergreen needles. Sasquatch sometimes live in caves and will dig dens into the ground for winter or giving birth. Some who live further north will migrate south during harsh winter months. They love temperate zones with plenty of rain and don’t appreciate extreme cold or heat. More often they simply love sleeping under the stars despite only requiring a few hours of slumber per night. They prefer to be alone with nature most of the time but they do socialize with their own kind on a regular if not sparse basis. It is rare for a Bigfoot to have a dispute with another. Although they do not get along with their violent Yeti cousins. Sasquatch are masters of stealth and can move without making a sound despite their giant lumbering size. You could be within 10 feet of one and not even see them crouching behind a tree or bush waiting for you to leave the area!

The Origin Of The Supernatural Sasquatch

Despite the speculation of the Cryptozoology community, we believe that the Sasquatch was genetically created by advanced extraterrestrials of unknown origin some 1.7 million years ago. The alien DNA manipulation analysis indicates that Bigfoot has elements of our early hominid ancestors Homo Habilis and Homo Erectus. There are also unidentifiable extraterrestrial and enchanted elements within the genes of Bigfoot. There was some apparent effort to make it look like their creation was apart of Earth’s natural evolution process. However, the immortality of the Sasquatch created a low sex drive and therefore a consistently small populace that pretty much kept evolution at a minimum. If the Bigfoot couldn’t live forever the supernatural species would have died out a long time ago!

The hominid hybrid experiments took place in the American Northwest where the Bigfoot was specifically designed to survive in the lush secluded forests. It’s thought the aliens noticed the African hominids and wanted to speed up the evolution process. A process that was to produce a supernatural species to deal with paranormal threats they must have noticed while exploring our world. It’s unknown if this was a work of benevolence or mere scientific curiosity. It is also not known if the aliens continue to observe or even visit their creations as Gods. The Sasquatch are secretive about what Gods they worship. Quite a few are nature deities they discovered and Native American Gods.

Sasquatch Families

The Sasquatch mate every so often and there are a handful of baby Bigfoot born every century. It seems conception is difficult to achieve which isn’t surprising in an immortal creature. The hairy couple will stay together to raise the child for about 14 years before parting ways as they prefer to live alone. Still, the Bigfoot often gather in groups to exchange information. Especially where to avoid humans who aren’t one with Mother Nature!  It is said the original alien experiment creations, aka the Adam and Eve of the Sasquatch people, still survive and act as a pseudo King and Queen of sorts. If that is the case they would be 1.7 million years old! Although there is no official government or civilization. It’s rumored the King and Queen along with their first few generational descendants have the power to telepathically communicate with all of their kind anywhere on Earth. Perhaps influencing what they do sub-consciously or sending direct messages that might be seen as signs from Gods.

The Magic Of The Sasquatch

Native Americans trusted the sacred Sasquatch to scare off the first werewolves and Wendigo. In general, they ward off evil in all forms! They aided the first humans to cross the Bering Strait Land Bridge and cross the Pacific to North America. The Bigfoot shared the secrets of Mother Earth with the first Natives. However, they were far less trusting of settlers who got here from the Atlantic ocean such as Vikings and other Europeans. These early explorers attempted to hunt down what they saw as blasphemous beasts! Sasquatch fur is extremely valuable in the supernatural community. It brings good luck and is a powerful ingredient in magical potions, rituals, and spells. This is even more true for Bigfoot blood given willingly. The blood is a known poison for evil entities such as vampires!

The Demi-Sasquatch & Bigfoot Uprising

Despite the striking physical differences between Bigfoot and Humans, there are rare Sasquatch-Human Hybrids, aka Demi-Sasquatch, that walk among us. Clearly our DNA is compatible. The first were with Native Americans who considered it a sacred event to join with the Sasquatch as blood brothers and sisters. More recently it has been a variety of races who are in the supernatural know and have met various Bigfoot people. One Demi-Bigfoot works at our own local secret supernatural Club 13 as a Bouncer. Mr. Altec is ideally suited to his job with super strength, speed, agility, enhanced senses, immunity to magic, and most likely immortality! Although he must wax his body on a daily basis. Well, he doesn’t have to but he seems to be embarrassed by his Bigfoot heritage and doesn’t like to talk about it!

Demi-Sasquatch are usually in the 7 foot tall heavy muscular build range. Despite Bigfoot generally being peaceful the interbreeding can instill violent tendencies. Mr. Altec only seems to let it show when he is forced to fight. Quite a few Bigfoot Hybrids can be downright vile. Such is the cases when we here at Mystic Investigations dealt with one at an amusement park recently. He seemed to be ridiculously obsessed with getting his daughter a dolphin doll I won. It ended up in a big brawl!

Build Your Super Brain With Amazing Learning Hacks Today!

There have also been factions of Sasquatch who have had enough of the ever-increasing intrusion into their private world. They feel the only answer is to fight back against the human invasion into their sacred forests. A Sasquatch Rebellion was quelled by government and private paranormal forces in August 2018. This has also fueled ever increasing hybrid births in an effort to “infiltrate” human society! Impregnating a human female has a greater frequency of success than in their own kind. Let us pray the Native American friends of the Sasquatch can broker peace between them and the humans they see as enemies!

Bigfoot Related Links…Not Missing Links…

The Original Famous Bigfoot Video. It is said the Sasquatch in the video was shunned by his people for exposing their kind to the world!

Talk Of The Hunt For Sasquatch

Sasquatch Public Service Warning Announcement