The Devil And Joel Osteen?

The top-flight psychics, seers, and mystics of The Reality Recognition Guild gleaned a new revelation after being asked for any supernatural information on Joel Osteen. Osteen is a world-famous televangelist pastor who garners some controversy due to his $100 million dollar net worth and lavish lifestyle. Some believe he should be giving most of his wealth to the poor and charities that support the less fortunate. However, Joel believes prosperity is a blessing from the Holy Lord and should be enjoyed to the fullest by those lucky enough to achieve success in life. Plausibly those rewarded for having faith in the Lord and live a righteous life. That being said Osteen does perform on stage and television like a celebrity along with producing various media productions. Should someone who entertains and acts somewhat like a motivational speaker utilizing religion be set to a different standard than others of his non-spiritual kind?

Members of The Reality Recognition Guild had visions of the Devil being bored in 2017 for some reason. He had previously taken notice of Joel Osteen but was busy with the affairs of Hell and beyond. Satan inquired if any of his demons had made a deal with him. Particularly one involving the selling of Joel’s immortal holy soul. Some of his minions indicated they approached Osteen but were quickly rejected. A few even felt a higher power drive them off. They assumed it was God himself protecting Joel. The Devil got excited about pulling another “Book Of Job” as it had been so many thousands of years since the last one. This time he wanted to finally win one over God!

Back in Old Testament times, Job was one of God’s most faithful Earthly servants who enjoyed his protection, good luck, and wealth. Satan challenged God to a bet. He said Job would hate God and abandon him if he didn’t have such a blessed life. God gave the Devil permission to curse Job. This included losing his wealth, the death of his children, and a despicable disease cast upon him. Even among all the suffering of Satan’s Curse Job did not renounce his faith and loyalty to the Holy Lord. Once the Devil was embarrassed by Job not cursing God’s name he left in a fury of flames as God restored Job’s former life of prosperity and love to the fullest. Incidentally, the stakes of the bet were If the Devil won he would have had his Archangel powers restored but not his place in Heaven. If God won the Devil had to give back 100 human souls he had bought. Indeed he returned the souls of the ones who didn’t show much dark promise.

Believe it or not, Satan has a direct line to God as a former Archangel despite now being an Archdemon. The Devil dialed up God, aka The Omniverse Lord, and asked if he’d like to test the faith of Joel Osteen. God indicated Joel wasn’t directly worshipping him but rather the Greek God Of Wealth Plutus. Plutus was the real power behind Osteen’s prosperity. The Devil more or less said “CRAP!” and hung up the metaphysical phone. Satan would have normally negotiated with a dark deity for Osteen’s soul. Unfortunately for him, Plutus is a neutral God who doesn’t discriminate between good and evil. He doles out wealth equally to those who respectfully worship him and supply the necessary metaphysical energy reserves.

In addition, most Earthy deities are desperate for worshippers as their power seriously waned since monotheism took hold. Plutus would have no interest in any bets that would risk his power base and in turn, the paranormal power he passes on as tribute to his King God Zeus. In the meantime, it seems that Satan is still looking for a way to bring down Joel Osteen or turn him to the demonic dark side! Osteen not only enjoys the protection of Plutus but also the entire Greek God Pantheon along with all their nature deity allies under the leadership of the mighty Zeus. It’s not worth Satans trouble to get Joel when the battles of Armageddon are at hand.

Joel Osteen is quite shrewd as he knows the Omniverse God is mostly neutral himself in modern times and wouldn’t grant him prosperity no matter what he did. So he went with Plutus who only wanted to feed off the enchanted energy of the millions of souls who look to Osteen for spiritual guidance, life motivation, and even entertainment. A harmless paranormal process that doesn’t damage souls in any fashion. Joel indeed helps people with his positive message of hope within the holy scripture and never had to sell his soul to Plutus. This means Joel will still go to Heaven as he’s technically not hurting anyone while still owning his own human soul. If nothing else the guy really knows how to work the supernatural system of life and the afterlife!

It appears just after his dad’s death Joel was contemplating if he wanted to continue preaching the gospel. He had only begun days earlier as his father repeatedly wished for him to take over for him at their church. His father John Osteen had started the Lakewood Church in 1959 and eventually had his own religious television show for 16 years until his death. Joel had been in deep thought as he strolled through the woods. A gleaming gold coin caught his eye. It was the sacred medallion of Plutus. Most likely Plutus placed the coin in his path.

Osteen’s wish for prosperity activated it and Plutus appeared to make him an offer he couldn’t refuse. Although he had to repeatedly convince Joel that he wasn’t a demon nor affiliated with Satan in any way. Plutus maintained he was a god of nature in tune with Mother Earth. He would aid Osteen in growing his ministry and media empire so as long as he pledged allegiance to him. Through Joel, he is able to access the souls of all the Lakewood Church’s members and those watching the TV broadcasts around the world. Despite Plutus being a Greek God under the command of Zeus Joel doesn’t have to enter their afterlife. Although he could choose to do so if he wished. In that case, he would have to sign his soul over to Zeus with Plutus as the proxy.

It is said that anyone who manages to find Joel Osteen’s hidden temple and altar to Plutus could end his successful streak of wondrous wealth. Destruction of the hidden chamber and melting of the mystical gold medallion would curse him to poverty! Most likely this sacred place is located underground. Plausibly a sub-basement under his home. Keep in mind Joel must have the medallion with him as he preaches in order for Plutus to siphon the spiritual energy of the human souls. The medallion also protects him from harm and grants him good luck much like Leprechaun gold!

Can You Hop A Ride On The Plutus Prosperity Train?

Probably not as there is only so much supernatural sway that Plutus or any given Earthly deity has. Also, he needs serious true-believing worshippers who preferably have masses of people captivated by them in some way. Not to mention that his medallion is key to obtaining high levels of wealth. Interestingly enough, there are said to be at least 13 gold coins that grant you direct access to Plutus. With Joel holding one there are 12 more out there somewhere? Plausibly lying in attics, museums, antique stores, ancient tombs, or in a hidden temple of a filthy rich individual.

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If you happen to follow Joel Osteen then Plutus isn’t taking some of your soul’s enchanted energy and giving you nothing in return. Under the Deity Directives Of Zeus and various Universal Laws pertaining to eternal souls, one must give something back in return. You are getting a small measure of prosperity power but it is based on your willingness and talent to attain said wealth. It grants an extra push toward your goals and will ever-increasingly work as more wealth is obtained. However, it is unlikely you will get anywhere near Osteen-level success. Ironically, any prosperity obtained will be attributed to faith in the Holy Lord of the Bible.

Do Vampires And Other Evil Entities Have To Reveal Their Identity?

Do All Demonic Denizons Have To Truthfully Confirm Their Supernatural Status?

Most people know about the Global Invitation Spell that requires Vampires to be invited into a person’s home otherwise they are supernaturally denied access.  A lesser-known paranormal requirement is that a vampire must truthfully tell you they’re in fact a vampire if you actually ask them. If you directly ask them they can’t laugh it off or make some excuse up. They must admit to being a vampire. However, they can hypnotize you into forgetting you ever found out. Hopefully, someone smart enough to ask would realize that vampirical hypnosis is a real possibility. Then they should have Holy Artifacts, or other countermeasures, in place to prevent this. Certainly, a vampire could easily eliminate you on the spot. Luckily there is a small window of opportunity where a fine thread of Angelic restraint halts that instinct via the Truth Curse.

The Angelic Truth Curse

This revelation requirement isn’t caused by a spell but rather an Angelic Curse on anything that’s a good chunk demonic, and sapient in nature. This means a Demon or Demi-Demon must also truthfully reply to your question as to the nature of their identity.  Although Demi-Demons are often mixed up with Demons, and Vampires so they can deny who they are if you ask the wrong question. Even the Devil himself must admit his identity if you guess correctly. He must respond truthfully to both questions as to whether he’s the Devil and a Demon. Just as the most infamous Demidemon, The Anti-Claus, must respond to either being a Demidemon or The Anticlaus.

The Truth Is The Anti-Christ’s Kryptonite

Speaking of Demi-Demons, this could be a problem for the prophesied dark leader of the future world known as The Anti-Christ, aka the Devil’s son. If asked point-blank on live television as to whether he’s the Anti-Christ he will be forced to respond with an affirmative! He would also have to reveal his negative intentions for humankind rather than the utopian rhetoric he’ll spew forth. Unfortunately, State-controlled mainstream media will probably prevent that from happening. Media control has been going on for a long time now as the Illuminati prepares for the rise of their dark master. Interestingly enough, Dhamphirs, aka Demi-Vampires, don’t have to answer truthfully. It could be they don’t meet the minimum demonic DNA threshold. Especially if they fully embrace their human side. Thankfully, vampires must give you a choice as to whether they bring you across into the dark eternal sanguine shadows. Although they don’t need your permission to straight-up murder you!

The Truth Curse Goes Beyond Identity Reveals

It’s said that this Angelic Truth Curse came the day that the original fallen Angels left Heaven. Archangels cursed them, and their lineage for the unholy defiance they displayed. The complete curse was created to prevent the dark fallen angels from maintaining their glorified nature, and full array of paranormal powers. The Truth Curse extends to Demons, and Demi-Demons unable to lie if directly confronted with the truth on any subject. If that wasn’t enough humans can rest assured that there are various paranormal laws protecting them in The Supernatural Secrecy Pact. The Pact was signed by top representatives of Angels, Demons, and Nature Deities to prevent too much metaphysical interference in human affairs. That being said, the Demons agreed to it to offset Angelic interference into all their affairs. Other evil entities like Jinn (Genies) refuse to accept the higher dimensional agreement.

An Honest Hell Contract With A Soul Dealing Demon?

Between the Truth Curse and The Supernatural Secrecy Pact, there’s also no tricky word play allowed in demonic contracts. Especially when it comes to something as important as selling one’s own soul. Souls are a valuable metaphysical energy commodity and an embarrassment when God loses one! When making a dark diabolical deal what you see is what you get. There’s no fine print or secret clauses. This is why making a deal with the Devil or a Demon doesn’t generally result in unknown shocking surprises. They’ll tell you upfront you’re going to Hell in exchange for becoming a millionaire celebrity!

Demon vs Genie Wishes

This completely unlike Genie’s wishes since Angels have no sway over this distinctly different supernatural species. Genies love to warp wishes due to their anger of being supernaturally sealed in bottles, and lamps for eternity. Just remember deals with Demons usually involve selling your lower-dimensional soul. That’s why it’s very important for people to ask a plethora of questions before making a deal with the Devil. Make sure you’re both on the same page and read every word on your hell contract before signing it in eternal blood! Despite demons having to reveal the truth, it’s possible for you to misunderstand the deal or turn a blind eye to the consequences of your insane actions! Nothing is worth making a dark demonic deal! Ignorance of paranormal law is no excuse to cry foul when it’s time to rot in Hell! If you must go down this dark path always get a metaphysical attorney to look over your contract before you sign your afterlife away!😈

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What Is The Difference Between Lucifer, Satan, And The Devil?

All three evil entities are technically the same supernatural being of darkness who is said to be the primary progenitor of all evil in our Omniverse. However, Satan isn’t the original Prince Of Darkness. That title falls to the very personification of evil that came into existence at the same time as our Omniverse. Long before the Devil ever existed. The greatest entity of evil is known as The Darkness. Thankfully, they are currently locked away for eternity in the sub-conscious mind of God! The Devil is a higher dimensional creature born directly in the 8th dimension of Heaven by the hand of God as a 7-Dimensional Archangel of the holy light. He was named Lucifer and had the distinction of being the first of his holy kind. His pride and ego eventually caused him to question if his Father, God of the Omniverse, deserved to hold dominion over all things. It’s unknown if The Darkness managed to influence him at a sub-conscious level to some extent?

Lucifer Rebels Against God

Lucifer’s major disagreement with God sprung from human, and a variety of other sentient biological beings from various Multiverses, being granted Angelic ascension to Heaven. This included humans eventually gaining Godhood status and creating their own Omniverses. Some Angels found it offensive that these supposedly intelligent animals would trump them in power and stature someday! Lucifer attempted to possess the very mind of God and take over all dimensions of Heaven. This was done with his loyal angelic followers joining their minds into a colossal collective consciousness. Unfortunately, for them, their mental juggernaut failed to take over the mind of God and they fell from Heavenly grace.

The Famous Fall From Heavenly Grace

Lucifer and 1/3 of God’s original Angels were directly cast down by the force of God to the lower dimensions of reality outside Heaven. This included a handful of Archangels as well. Lucifer and his Fallen Archangels became 5-Dimensional beings while non-Archangels became 4-D. They immediately set up the residence of Hell within the 5th and 6th dimensions. As they were outside our 4-D time they could enter the history of Earth and countless worlds long before humans or any sentient life ever existed. Archangels actively prevented any attempt to halt life. Although, the Devil was allowed to play God on various planets. Here on Earth, he created his own race of dinosauroids, aka reptilian humanoids. Their civilization collapsed when the infamous dinosaur killing meteor hit Earth. Millions of years later humans came into existence.

The Descent From Archangel To Archdemon

Did The Devil Ever Stay In A Trapped Elevator To Scare People? You Know He Did!

Fallen Angels eventually transform into demons via a natural paranormal process caused by being cut off from the grace of God. During this short-lived Fallen Angel state they mated with humans to create the Nephilim. Lucifer and his unlucky lot quickly transformed into diabolical demons. He became an Arch-Demon who renamed himself Satan. Satan literally means adversary since he thinks of himself as God’s equal. His official title is Satan The Devil: Emperor Of Hell And The Underworld. Devil is the highest title a demon can hold, and it is held by the Emperor Of Hell.  Hell being the damned dominion of demonhood. This means that some other entity of evil could potentially hold the title of Devil. The title is honorable among demons but God chose to have its meaning be that of slanderer.

The Rebellion Of Heaven Isn’t Over!

Armageddon, the final battle of good vs evil, will feature Satan as a major player vying for rule of the Omniverse. This among others who wish to oust God from power to enact their own brand of regime change. It sounds impossible but all that is required is a consciousness powerful enough to possess and overwhelm the Omniverse Gods mind. The very place we all live! Remember we’re talking about one of many Omniverse Gods and not the infinite one Macroverse Lord above them all. A mysterious figure very little is known about. It’s thought not even the Omniverse God has contact with them.

The Blasphemous Business Of Mining Human Souls

The Devil and his demons work to corrupt humankind in order to embarrass God and prove that humans aren’t worthy of Godhood. They also buy human souls wherever they can by granting wishes to humans willing to sell. These souls have immense power since they are destined to be Gods someday. They provide major metaphysical energy fuel for Hell and its minions! Those who sell their souls are usually transformed into demons just as most humans become angels in Heaven. This process involves gradually replacing the human soul with a growing dark demonic spirit. The soul is then stored in Hell as an enchanted energy reserve for the Devil to feed off of.

Does The Archangel Lucifer Still Exist?

In the tradition of humans living out a simultaneous plethora of lives in Parallel Universes, there are rumors that Archangels who fall from grace actually split into two entities. One good, and one bad. The reason for keeping this a secret would be to keep the two from interfering with each other. Plausibly recombining into one entity. Minor metaphysical evidence indicates that Lucifer still exists but has kept an extremely low profile. The Omniverse is about playing out mathematical probabilities while maintaining a balance between light and darkness. Therefore it would make sense that the Archangel Lucifer might still exist somewhere. In fact, there are cults who worship him and deny the existence of the Devil.

The Parallel Lucifer’s And Devil’s

One thing we know is that the Devil does have parallel selves in other Multiverses, aka conglomerate of related Parallel Universes, he doesn’t have access to. The complex multidimensional nature of his Archangel form dictated that he be split into a wide array of Multiverses as a five-dimensional being. In our Multiverse, the Devil can simultaneously spread his darkness to virtually every Universe within. So it’s thought that Lucifer, his good twin, would manifest in a wide array of adjacent Multiverses. This Lucifer would probably regret his decision, and see his exile as something he deserves. A chance to redeem himself in God’s eyes so he may return to Heaven someday. It’s possible this Lucifer might retain his rare Fallen Angel status without descending into demonhood. Eventually, his good deeds would earn him the lowest Angel status. Yet his admission to Heaven would be denied until he’s deemed truly worthy of reentry.  It’s also plausible he could become an Ice Demon and ends up being the founder of Purgatory in another Multiverse.

The Body Of The Original Lucifer

There is some enchanted evidence that you can’t just split a complex 7-D Archangel like Lucifer into lower dimensions. His original Archangel body would still have to exist in Heaven. Most likely in an unconscious dormant state locked away in the furthest reaches of the 8th dimension. The metaphysical energy body would be collecting all the memories of the Devil across all the Multiverses. This would indicate he is meant to re-ascend back to full Archangel status someday. It grants him the human experience of having multiple parallel lives that are unaware of each other. Once unified into one enchanted entity he would have far greater wisdom than his previous incarnation. Thus he could even get his wish of becoming God in his own Omniverse? A God of balance between the good of Lucifer and the evil of Satan? That being said it would be dangerous if the Devil could possess his own original body someday outside of an official ascension sanctioned by God!😈

An actual quote from the Devil when he was on Earth in 2013…😈“I questioned the Holy Lord as to why humans should eventually ascend to Godhood? Why their spirits should burn brighter than Archangels?👼  Why an evolved animal should have more power than God’s children? His response was to eject me from my home and brand me as a rebellious villain! So I played the part he gave me and the rest is history! Humans only have him to blame for my wrath upon them!”👿

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See Also: Multiverse Devil