The Mardi Gras Joker Was Twarted By Patriot Woman!

The self-proclaimed Voodoo powered leader of Mardi Gras known as The Mardi Gras Joker was up to his old nefarious tricks on February 13th, 2018! There are many tales of the despicable acts perpetrated by him and his thugs throughout the year. Particularly on Mardi Gras as he seeks to turn its debauchery into a completely dark holiday or horror! During 2018’s New Orleans festivities one such evil enterprise was interrupted by none other than the superhero born from the chemically laden ashes of September 11th, 2001. Of course, we speak of the amazing Patriot Woman!ūüÉŹ

The Mardi Gras Joker’s Extortion Plot

The Joker and his minions videotaped a somewhat tipsy thirty-something woman displaying her bare bosoms repeatedly for worthless shiny beads. Her forty-something husband was there cheering her on in drunken revelry. As they milled through the crowd the jolly Joker clad in his crazy Jester costume and make-up cornered them. He showed them the video on his trusty tablet and demanded money for his extortionist plot. The Jokers top hacker determined the couple had prestigious high paying careers ripe for the terrifying taking. The husband attempted to attack him but he stuck a pin in a Voodoo Doll and the man gripped his heart in pain. The wife attempted to intervene but two of the Joker’s thugs held her back while lewdly groping her with smug smiles on their faces. The trio of darkness cackled with glee as they led the unlucky couple down an alley and into an empty warehouse. There the husband and wife were thrown into separate cages and informed that they would pay the money or be publicly disgraced with the videotape. Worse yet they might never see the light of day again until they comply. The husband reluctantly wired the couples life savings to the maniacal Joker. It was estimated to be somewhere in the neighborhood of $550,000!

A Maze Of Life And Death

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of it. The Mardi Gras Joker is one sick puppy and he loves tormenting people. In dastardly detail, he told the couple what they would endure from that point up until the end of the Devil’s Hour. A night of terror in a maze of intricate puzzle and riddle ridden traps set-up around the warehouse of dark shadows. If they escaped they would live. However, that turned out to be a lie as the Joker intended to sacrifice them in a demonic ritual! Just apart of his continued effort to foster a dark Mardi Gras Spirit in opposition to a good spirit like that of Christmas!

The Despicable Mardi Gras Joker!

The athletically inclined man along with his lovely intelligent wife managed to get themselves through the hours of living Hell. They suffered some injuries but escaped out the back door into the alley. They breathed a sigh of relief as they ran toward the now nearly empty streets of New Orleans screaming for help. Just then the Joker and six of his thugs leaped from behind some dumpsters laughing like loons. They held the husband as the Joker leered at his wife with despicable desire in his evil eyes. He ripped her shirt off and threw her to the ground. The Joker then said to the husband, “I wish to make lust to your wife before you both die!” The husband yelled,”Leave her the hell alone! You said we could go free!” The Joker giggled, “I lied jackass!” The husband continued roaring in anger until the thugs began beating him as the sick Joker prepared to force himself on the trembling woman now crying in fear and disgust!

Patriot Woman To The Rescue!

All hope seemed lost until a curvaceous shadow with long lustrous locks of amber waving in the wind appeared on the roof above. She jumped down three stories in the midst of the violent chaos. It was the legendary superhuman Patriot Woman clad in red, white, and blue complete with American Flag cape! It seems her limited psychic powers had picked up on this evil event as she strolled about the quiet early morning Mardi Gras streets of New Orleans. Earlier in the evening within her mild mannered alter ego she had been baring her bare beautiful’s for the enamored crowd! She immediately demanded, “Cease this madness or die you, filthy fiends!” The Joker and his thugs stopped what they were doing. The Joker then rose up and went face to face with her as he chuckled a bit and said in a seriously sinister voice, “Who in the F*** are you supposed to be bitch?” She told him who she was and then he vaguely remembered hearing about Patriot Woman some years ago but never thought much of it until now. He replied,”Well you star spangled piece of s*** this is my domain! I’ve got a sacrifice to perform! I don’t have time for this hero crap! I’ll allow you to leave now or I will place a permanent Voodoo curse upon you!” She then punched him so hard that he flew several feet into a dumpster while she yelled,”Voodoo this you freak of clown nature!” The Joker was knocked out cold!

Patriot Woman Saves A Couple Held Hostage

The pathetic thugs immediately pounced but she took them down with extreme prejudice! Two were inadvertently killed by the force of her raw power! She hoisted the badly injured husband on her back as she led the wife out of the alley to a nearby police station. They were rushed to the hospital and the husband was in stable condition. He was released days later with a clean bill of health. Patriot Woman went back to do her duty and permanently take out the Mardi Gras Joker but he had vanished without a trace! However, the police managed to arrest some of the badly beaten minions.

What To Do If You Happen To Spot The Joker At A Mardi Gras Celebration?

The Madi Gras Joker is still on the loose and is considered supernaturally armed and dangerous! If you spot him do not attempt apprehension. In fact, do not even call the police or FBI as they will be helpless against him! Contact your nearest Paranormal Professionals or Practitioners Of Magic.¬†¬†If you can‚Äôt locate anyone who is equipped to handle sinister supernatural villains then go ahead and dial 911 to tell them your terrifying tale even if you sound like a nut case. While on the phone with the Operator have the first words from your mouth be ‚ÄúPDA‚ÄĚ as in the US¬†Paranormal Defense Agency. Since¬†all phone¬†calls are being monitored in real time by the NSA they will hear that and immediately relay the recorded call to the top secret branch of the US Defense Agency that deals with paranormal threats. The 911 Operator will be puzzled that your call was dropped along with all your data being wiped clean from their computer systems! They and anyone called in on this will receive calls from high level US government officials to drop the investigation! ūüáļūüáł


Indonesian Village Flooded With Blood From Vampire Harvesting Operation

The streets literally ran red in the Indonesian village of Jenggot on Saturday, February 6, 2021. The village is located south of Pekalongan city in Central Java. It was there that flood waters supposedly swept red dye from a Batik factory down to Jenggot. The factory utilizes ink resistant wax on cloth to dictate dye patterns. We now know that the crimson flooding was in fact from a vampire blood harvesting center. All over the world, the immortal bloodsuckers of the night have secret locations where hypnotized humans have their blood taken against their will. Upon release, they feel very weak but remember nothing due to the vampire’s hypnotic suggestions. Those with some immunity to hypnosis often end up thinking they were abducted by aliens. Vampires take this more humane non-lethal route for their own selfish ends. If too many deaths’ occurred then human governments would investigate and eventually take action!ūüßõ‚Äć‚ôÄÔłŹ

These blood harvesting operations are often funded by royal vampires with wine-like cellars of vintage blood from various ethnicities and antigen types. In some cases, supernatural creatures are kidnapped and drained of blood as well. When possible these nefarious organizations are set up near businesses that utilize red dye. Especially in regions where flooding is common. This allows any blood released to be explained away as an industrial accident rather than something very sinister and supernatural. The governments of the world are well aware of what the vampires are doing but allow it so as long as they aren’t committing the mass murder of their citizens! Naturally, they aid in the cover-up by pushing the less alarming narrative to the media for the sake of preventing public panic. Any attempt to chemically test the sanguine flood waters is quickly halted by the government as well.

This particular Pekalongan blood center is rumored to be directly operated by First Generation Transylvanian Royal Vampires. Plausibly King Dagan and Queen Gula themselves would have drunk this blood within their castle in Diavol City, Transylvania. It’s not uncommon for these warehouse operations to collect blood, bottle it in vacuum-sealed containers, and then export it to the upper crust of vampire society. All under the watchful eye of deeply deadly Vampire Knights who live to serve their royal sires. For now, this despicable harvesting factory is closed for fear of mass exposure. Vampire Slayers often look upon red dye factories with a wary eye while searching for the signs of vampire activity. Think about that if you happen to live near a dye factory or business that uses dye in their manufacturing processes!ūü©ł


The Man & Woman Who Lived In The 1980’s For 1000 Years!


One of the most interesting cases in our paranormal files is the case of a couple who loved the 1980’s with a passion! So much so that they traveled back in time to live in the decade for 1000 years! How is this possible, and why 1000 years? Our investigation started from rumors of a husband, and wife who seemingly existed in 100 different places in the United States at the same time between New Year’s Day 1980, and New Year’s Eve 1989. The doppelgangers all had different names but stuck to the¬†same basic lifecycle of going to college for 4 years from 1980 through 1983. Then entering the workforce for the rest of the eighties except for 1989 when they took the year off. ¬†Two sets of the couple lived in each of the 50 States except for only one couple in Rhode Island, one in Oklahoma, 3 in California, and 3 in New York. We’re keeping their names a secret so as not to retroactively jeopardize their dream!

Utilizing past paranormal reports, census records, eyewitness accounts, top flight psychics, and even an interview with the couple in question, revealed that all 100 couples were the same couple! ¬†They were born in the¬†early 70’s, and¬†had fond memories of their formative years in the 1980’s. They were high school sweethearts that married in¬†1990. Every decade since was a disappointment for them on all levels. They simply never took to the culture, technology, and everything else as each year took them further away from the 80’s. They always felt like their home was in the 1980’s, and had a house of memorabilia from that time frame. Their obsession went so far as to constantly have Eighties shows playing on the TV, and music over the stereo. They even drove cars from the decade as well. Not surprisingly their favorite movie from the 80’s was Back To The Future. Incidentally it’s based on a true time travel story! They dreamed of traveling back in time to live in the 1980’s forever but it always remained a science fiction fantasy that would always be out of reach!

Finally in the 2040’s, aged in their early 70’s, they used a good chunk of their retirement funds to purchase new anti-aging cellular regeneration nanobots. This new technology could grant anyone immortality, and they anti-aged back to their mid 20’s within a year! Now young again they felt a reconnection with their beloved decade. Almost as if half the battle of getting back was complete. One fateful night they were camping in a remote forest when they saw an eerie neon blue light blaze downward from the sky. They heard a loud crash, and ran to see what it was. tI was an odd translucent¬†pie shaped ship of some sort. An emergency hatch on the vessel had auto opened but the pilot inside was badly wounded, and unconsciousness. There appeared to be internal damage with a smoky haze afoot. They got the man out, and took him to a hospital. The couple said they found the man in a ditch, and neglected to mention the ship. Mainly because the display panel inside reminded them of Back To The Future. It was a time machine, and the origin date was 3221!

When the man regained consciousness in the hospital they said they had kept his secret, and knew he was a time traveler from the 33rd century. He denied this vehemently at first, and then finally admitted it when the couple threatened to call the FBI or the US Military!¬†He told them he was a fugitive from the 3221 who was framed for multiple crimes he didn’t commit. He was forced to steal a time cops temporal ship but was attacked by a intergalactic vessel before he jumped back to the 2040’s by sheer coincidence. Thankfully the cloaking mechanism on the ship was intact so time cops couldn’t locate the ship. As thanks for saving his life, and keeping his secret he agreed to drop the couple off to the first day in 1980, and retrieve them on the last day of 1989. That is after a dormant onboard robot was activated to repair the time vessel.

The couple was ecstatic that their fantasy¬†was finally coming true! They packed their essential belongings that included a laptop computer, and printer. They also¬†converted all their savings to gold. Once in 1980 they would exchange it for cash. They started their 80’s dream journey in their childhood hometown located in Wisconsin, and attended college to start a new career.¬†They had always wanted to be college students in the 80’s, and¬†experience a new direction in careers. Certainly their technical careers didn’t exist back then. Also sitting around for years wasn’t in their nature. It was tempting to use future knowledge to win the lottery, play the stock market, and place sports bets¬†to get rich but their time traveler told them it could immediately set off time cop alarms. They didn’t want to risk killing their good fortune over silly greed!

For the first time they enjoyed living as adults in the 1980’s. The lucky couple felt like they finally came home again. They’d never been happier! The 10 years passed like wildfire, and when the time traveler came to pick them up they wanted to go back again to do it all over again! And so they did living through one hundred¬†80’s decades total! 1000 years of the live pure Eighties magic! ¬†After the second time they had told the time traveler they never wanted to leave. He agreed that 199¬†trips total would pay his debt to them. 100 trips to 1980, and 99 pick ups from 1989. The couple eventually decided to live out the rest of their future naturally after the final 1989. By then they had their satisfying fill of their delightful¬†decade.

The cautious couple had carefully spread out across the United States¬†so they¬†wouldn’t run into their time traveling counterparts. Creating new identities was easy since all you had to do was show paperwork, or plant it in the right files. That’s where the laptop, photoshop, and a top flight printer from 2040 came in handy! As they woke up on New Year’s Day 1990 they left their 99 doppelgangers behind! With no further intention of time travel they carefully began investing based on future knowledge. Especially the internet. As of 2017 they still live in the United States as multi-millionaires. They could have been billionaires but decided to build to that level slowly just in case they’re under surveillance by temporal authorities who might somehow reverse their 1000 years of 80’s bliss!

We¬†found them last month, and they were reluctant to submit to our interview. However we assured them they would remain anonymous. They said they miss the 80’s only a little because 1000 years really sticks with you! However as immortals they would live to see time travel technology exist, and they indicated they would probably go back someday! Of course we also suggested that ultra realistic virtual reality, and holographic simulations were much closer. Something not quite perfected to their satisfaction in the 2040’s. Also they spent most of their money on those pesky immortality nanobots! Perhaps they could perpetually live in the virtual 1980’s someday with just the flick of a switch free of any time cop worries!

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