Leprechauns Decree New Saint Patrick’s Day Traditions

Leprechaun King

King Lochlann, Leader of the proud Irish Leprechaun people, has decreed new holiday protocols for March 17th Saint Patrick’s Day with the consent of the Leprechauns patron Saint the infamous Angel Patrick.  These new traditions are meant to bolster the holiday forth into the same league as Halloween, Christmas, and Easter.  Humans lend the unique power of their special collective consciousness to holidays which is a form of magic all it’s own. This is why Christmas, and Halloween are the most supernaturally powerful holidays of the year.  King Lochlann is hoping to not only inspire more people in general but also capture the hearts of children who wield the power of magical innocence so crucial to the aforementioned holidays.  Apparently a lot of drunk adults wearing green, and guzzling emerald beer isn’t doing much to aid the Leprechauns in their annual concentrated push to spread good luck around the world in the name of helping the forces of light, and right.  Of course Leprechauns are known to partake of a wee bit of booze now, and then.

The Leprechaun King has set forth new guidelines for Saint Patrick’s celebrations due to the recent first battles of Armageddon, and the general spread of evil on Earth.  In addition the Devil’s presence on Earth has strengthened the resolve of the various forces of darkness including the chief nemesis of the Leprechauns known as the Clurichauns.  Clurichauns, aka dark anti-Leprechauns, are notorious for spreading their own diabolical brand of bad luck along with stealing Leprechauns gold for the purpose of warping it into coins of dark luck.  Now more than ever the Leprechauns need human support in their quest to spread righteous luck, and continue to drive forth the general forces of good perpetuated from Christmas, and Valentines Day.  The essential need to pass the baton of light to Easter!

King Lochlann’s decree includes the following translated from his ancient Gaelic language:

  1. By all means continue drinking copious amounts of green colored alcoholic beverages along with the general wearing of green in support of Irish good luck.  Green is the luckiest color symbolizing the Emerald Isle, and all it’s mystical magic.  Be sure children get a selection of green non-alcoholic drinks as well.  Let the Shamrock Shakes of minty goodness fly forth freely as well!  It’s only once a year so live a little!
  2. Continue having Saint Patrick’s Day parties while transforming them into costume parties that accentuate anything related to Ireland, good luck, or Leprechauns.  Please try to have celebrations more centered around the kids.  Dressing them up as little Leprechauns complete with a wood shillelagh.  They should symbolically spread luck by throwing forth Shamrocks, lucky charms, or candy.  Candy wrapped in gold foil to appear as gold coins placed in a traditional pot that looks like a small cauldron.  Shamrock shaped mints are great as well.  Creation of a Saint Patrick’s treasure hunt to find said pot of gold candy will further fuel the imagination of children to strengthen the Saint Patrick’s holiday.
  3. We encourage people to decorate their homes in green lights, and appropriate Saint Patrick’s decor.  Hang lucky charms about, and have clover plants to exude good luck about.
  4. Our hope is to see children adorned in Leprechaun garb going door to door with their little pots collecting candy, and lucky charms given by generous adults with the Spirit Of Saint Patrick within them.  Pray to Saint Patrick, and let his lucky spirit dwell within you on March 17th.
  5. Near a window we would hope to see a box of live growing shamrocks ready to receive a gift of good luck from from parents to children.  One, or two of which should say it’s from a Leprechaun, or Saint Patrick, in the same way you do with Santa Claus.  Of course all supernatural beings are bound by the Supernatural Secrecy Pact that prevents large scale exposure of the paranormal community.  This is why Santa, and the Leprechauns can only directly deliver things to those within the paranormal community with the exception of a few special cases.  It’s becoming more common in these dire times for Leprechauns to leave lucky gifts with especially deserving members of the supernatural community as a reward for fighting the forces of darkness. Although a Leprechaun isn’t usually seen, his visitation is realized by the bright emerald green carpet of four leaf clovers left behind!
  6. We encourage people to create good luck directly by spotting situations where you can lend a hand to someone in need even on the simplest level.  You can even create a situation.  Something like throwing a quarter in someone’s path while you remain hidden to observe their lucky find.  The coin itself then becomes lucky. Let the Spirit Of Saint Patrick flow through you!
  7. General interest, creativity, and day dreaming involving Saint Patrick’s Day on any level will aid in the elevation of our day to most favored supernatural holiday status.  The Leprechauns, and I thank you for your cooperation in making the Earth the luckiest place in the Universe!

Now please do your part to spread good luck by following the King’s guidelines so you can aid in the forces of good triumphing over that of evil in these extremely trying times!

The King also released a special decree discouraging the capture of his Leprechauns and/or their pots of lucky million dollar gold for the purposes of receiving three coveted good luck based wishes. He said it distracts from the Leprechauns mission but he stated no ill will would come upon anyone partaking of this centuries old venture due to protections from Saint Patrick.  More or less anyone smart, or powerful enough to find the gold or capture the Leprechaun deserves the wishes.  However for everything to go well one must be respectful to the Leprechaun, and always return his gold once the wishes are granted.  Failure to do so can wield the wrath of an angry Leprechaun upon you along with the natural bad luck that will follow.  Anyone can bend good luck into bad luck when they have negative intentions in their heart!

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Woman & Grandson Miraculously Survive Car Crash Incident

56-year-old Vilma Nascimento and her five-year-old grandson Joao are seen being brutally run over by an out of control car in this video. However, they walked away with nothing but scratches, and bruises. Joao even had his head impacted by the tire of the car yet he got up immediately as if nothing had happened! Most have said this is a miracle of God or a product of Angelic Heavenly protections. Others have speculated that these two are supernatural beings of some sort. This includes an alien hybrid or angel hybrid known as a Nephilim.

A Miracle Of Nature Deities

After conducting a paranormal investigation we have come to the conclusion that this is a case of both supernatural beings, and metaphysical miracles. A professional paranormal investigations team in Brazil took DNA samples from the scene of the amazing event where they discovered traces of Earthly God DNA. This was confirmed by supernatural labs around the world including Mystic Investigations whose sample was tested by Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie. Unfortunately, Earthly Nature Deities taking biological form and leaving a DNA sample behind are rare so it’s very difficult to identify specific God genes. Most of the limited paranormal DNA databases related to Gods contain data from relatives of Demigods who are sure of their higher dimensional relatives. Thankfully though the true Earthly Gods, rather than Extraterrestrial, Demonic, and other higher dimensional imposters, have common genetic markers.

The Godly Grandmother And Grandson

An interview with the Grandmother and Grandson resulted in them denying they had God lineage. This is perfectly understandable when considering how governments and nefarious private organizations like to get a hold of supernatural creatures. Various psychics, seers, mystics, and Priests worked the accident scene along with reading the minds of the two survivors from an inconspicuous distance. In concert, they pieced together a psychic picture of paranormal DNA linked to a Godly progenitor. The conclusion is that the Nascimento’s Godly DNA is a very small percentage. Yet enough to prevent death, which would have happened to the average person in such an accident. Still, not enough for them to walk away with virtually no injury. The bulk of their survival was the result of the Grandparent God watching over them as a Guardian God. In fact, there were two enchanted beings present in non-corporeal form at the time of the accident.

Guardian Gods

It was Inti, the Incan Sun God, and his sister Mama Quilla, the Incas Moon Goddess. Inti being the relative that fathered their distance Demigod ancestor who should theoretically still be alive somewhere as an immortal. Just as Angels protect humans so do Gods, and Goddesses watch over the lineage of their offspring. Generally, anyone with even a bit of higher dimensional diety blood causes Angels to back off, and let the Gods watch over their own. Especially since Nature Deities are known to be extremely territorial, and Angels want to save most battles for Armageddon. Due to this impending prophesied war, one battle of which was already fought, we’ve seen an ever-increasing number of Demigod births meant to grow into Godly foot soldiers.

Related Articles: The Independent | New York Daily News

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Supernatural Connection To Denver Broncos Super Bowl XLVIII Loss

Supernatural SuperbowlThe Denver Broncos lost Super Bowl XLVIII in one of the most embarrassing defeats in football history on February 2nd, 2014! This one-sided match was almost surreal as the Seattle Seahawks pummeled the Broncos who had a score of zero for most of the game. The sad Super Bowl showing ended in a score of 43-8.  How could a team that made it to the Super Bowl play like a group of bumbling amateurs?  It’s inexplicable!  After some suspicious supernatural cues, Mystic Investigations began investigating this unfortunate incident. This led us to the uncovering of a rare deal with the Devil himself.  Sure there are deals with demons but you have to be someone special to receive a direct audience with the Devil.  Although since October 2013 it’s somewhat easier since he’s walking the Earth in a biological human-like form.

A Devil’s Deal Is Made

Even without directly holding the reigns of Hell in his hands, since the Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo took over as King of Hell, the Devil is still a powerful Archdemon and technically the Emperor Of Hell and the Underworld. Satan has legions of loyal demon followers holding plenty of souls in collection.  There’s also the practitioners of black magic who see him as their dark master and unholy lord.  It seems Microsoft co-founder, and Seattle Seahawks owner Billionaire Paul Allen had the clout to summon the Devil to him via contact with some high-level Satanic Priests. This puzzled us at first since it’s common knowledge in the paranormal community that Allen, and fellow college drop-out Bill Gates, formed an unholy pact with a high-level demon named Shazzleton. They sold their souls to make Microsoft one of the most successful corporations on Earth.  Once you sell your soul and make a demonic deal you usually have nothing left to negotiable with.  However, after consulting numerous physics, seers, mystics, and priests we discovered that Dimitri Diablo slew Shazzleton in one of the many battles taking place in the Hell Civil War. Factions loyal to the Devil are still fighting Diablo’s authority. Before his untimely death Shazzleton held the title of Grand Duke Demon Of Hell!

The Re-Selling Of A Soul

Once a demon is eradicated from existence all the souls he bought are freed from their contract.  Although sometimes demons sneak in riders that state the souls are ultimately owned by the Devil thereby ensuring the souls remain the property of Hell in perpetuity! If whatever the soul seller got in return has altered reality on a global scale then it can’t be taken back.  Any supernatural tampering with the timeline on a major level would enact the Supernatural Secrecy Pact causing Angelic intervention.  Clearly, Allen doesn’t seem to see the importance of having a soul, and he was quite delighted to have what he thinks of as his soul stock back in play.  For reasons unknown, he felt a Super Bowl win was worth his immortal soul as crazy as that sounds for someone who is a billionaire!  The Devil was quite happy to get another soul back in his possession for something so simple as a football game win.

Satan Secures A Seat At The Super Bowl

Witnesses remember seeing a man fitting the Devil’s current description at the Super Bowl so he obviously took care of this task personally.  Some remember him specifically because he would laugh maniacally every time the Broncos fumbled the ball or screwed up royally in some way.  Most likely he was performing magic at each of those instances. From the coin toss win by Seattle onward the Devil had the entire Super Bowl under his Satanic spell.  Although clearly Actor Kurt Russell, a friend of the Devil, knew in advance what the outcome of the Super Bowl would be. Spectators remember that the guy who turned out to be the Devil was really enjoying himself as he knocked back $12 beers and $13 hot dogs in mass quantities between his dramatically loud laughter. He also stood out in fans minds because he was sitting in between two hot women wearing low cut dresses. It’s unknown if they were demons, Satanic sycophants, or simply women under his supernatural spell.  When the game was over he was seen getting into a black stretch limo with his two ladies. A few swear they saw his eyes glow red during the game.

So in conclusion Coloradans can at least have some solace that it was supernatural interference that lost them the Super Bowl. Hopefully, the Denver Broncos will bounce back in the 2014 season…so as long as nobody else sells their souls to see them lose!

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