The high octane holiday of Mardi Gras is known for its pernicious partying laced with rampant revelry deeply infused with despicable drunkenness and diabolical debauchery. Certainly, the hallowed Saint Nicholas and the blessed inhabitants of North Pole City don’t partake of that skewed slant on what is supposed to be a holy holiday. Well, perhaps the Winter God Jack Frost and his lively troop of Nymphs and Fairies. They mysteriously leave the North Pole during the festivities of Carnival. They have been spotted at the celebrations in New Orleans and Rio de Janeiro.🤗
The Warping Of Shrove Tuesday Into Mardi Gras
Santa Claus and his family observe the season of Shrovetide, rather than Carnival. These are a series of Pre-Lent holidays commencing with Epiphany or the Three Wise Men Magi proclaiming the Demigod Jesus Christ was the Son of the Omniverse God. Mardi Gras itself was originally known as Shrove Tuesday which is the final day of indulgence before the fasting of Lent. Lent is meant to duplicate the 40 days of fasting Christ endured in a desolate desert while being tempted by the Devil. This is a time of repentance for sins and self-control over one’s own animal urges begins on Ash Wednesday after Mardi Gras. It then extends until Easter Sunday several weeks later.
The Shrovetide is the bridge between Christmas and Easter that creates a supernatural symbiotic bond between their Spirits. It also links two living Saints on Earth. Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) and Saint Egbert (The Easter Bunny). The Mardi Gras practice of simply indulging in rich luxurious foods blew forth into prolific partying amid false idols. The hallowed holiday descended into a carnal atmosphere of moral ambiguity drowned in liquor and other mind-altering substances. There’s even the misguided baring of bosoms in a blasphemous manner in exchange for worthless shiny beads! Unfortunately, quite a few people can’t rationally deal with the hardships of biological life on Earth in a mature manner!😱
Mardi Gras At North Pole City
On Mardi Gras, Santa wears a jovial jesters costume and the good folks at North Pole City eat three times more than they usually do. And that’s saying a lot! Thankfully, the sin of gluttony doesn’t apply to Santa’s supernatural winter wonderland. Most of the meals take place in the great North Pole City Banquet Hall. Naturally, there’s the traditional pancake breakfast that gives Mardi Gras the nickname Pancake Day in some parts of the world. Throughout the day there is a non-stop production of every meal, dessert, and non-alcoholic beverage imaginable! Even the Peppermint Ice Cream Bandit Elf Gerbert is allowed to eat as much of his pink minty creamy goodness as he pleases! As evening approaches there’s a parade and fireworks show. Candy and holy rosary beads blessed by Saint Nicholas are thrown to the crowds that include visitors of the paranormal community from around the world. Often those looking for a family-friendly celebration steeped in a magical atmosphere.🥞🍔🍕🌮🍨🍦🍰🌭
Santa Claus Attempts To Neutralize The Dark Leader Of Mardi Gras
Santa Claus has become increasingly concerned with a Super Villain called The Mardi Gras Joker. A jester-looking Voodoo Master who operates an underworld criminal syndicate out of New Orleans. He has officially taken over the holiday of Mardi Gras and Carnival around the world. The MG Joker continues to stoke the dark flames of damnation that have dominated the holiday’s Spirit in recent decades. His goal is to bring about a global chaotic Party Apocalypse that would be a nightmare like The Purge films! 24-7 non-stop madness devoid of any morality amid rampant violence! Santa sent two of his best Elf Agents down to New Orleans on Mardi Gras 2019 to look into this nefarious denizen of darkness. The Elves reported back to Santa that they had the target in sight and were ready to capture him.🃏
The Humane Imprisonment Of The Joker
The intent was to turn the Mardi Gras Joker over to us here at Mystic Investigations who would, in turn, transport him to the great Sorcerer of the light known as Ian McTavish. He runs a world-renowned magic school out of Scotland. He also has a paranormal prison to contain threats the mainstream governments couldn’t handle. So, the Elves stealthily made their way into the MG Jokers lair within the sewers of Orleans. They easily evaded his minions and found the filthy fiend asleep in a chamber built off the sewer system.🤡
Two Elves Are Stronger Than A Voodoo Master!
The Voodoo Master was surrounded by all manner of protective charms but the Elves de-enchanted them and quickly pulled him out of bed. They whipped holy handcuffs on him at super-speed as he woke up angrily screaming! Luckily the concrete walls of his chamber were soundproof so his mad minions couldn’t hear him. He looked up to see the two Elves and said, “Who in the hell are you? Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with? You little shrimps are already dead!” He tried to recite some voodoo curses on them but the sinister spells wouldn’t stick to their holy auras swimming in the Spirit Of Christmas and the blessing of the living Saint Nicholas. He was speechless as his powers seemed useless against these little guys. He asked again who they were and they said in unison, “We’re Santa Claus’s Ecstatic Elves! Merry Mardi Gras Mr. Joker!” He started laughing insanely while muttering, “There’s no such thing as Santa! You guys are nuts!”🎅
The Heaven Ordered Release Of The Mardi Gras Joker!
The strong Elves were about to haul the criminal mastermind away when a call came in from Santa Claus. Santa said, “Mission Abort!” The Elves were in total disbelief and asked Santa to repeat himself. He confirmed the cancellation of the objective and they reluctantly returned to the North Pole. They left the Joker handcuffed in the dimly lit chamber until his minions found him hours later. It turns out Santa was contacted by the Archangels of Heaven who ordered him to stand down and not interfere with the destiny of these particular events. It seems the Mardi Gras Joker’s alarming activities are integral in the same way the Devil is in the master plan leading up to the final battles of Armageddon! It is not for Santa to question the wisdom of the Heavenly Host and the Holy Lord. That being said Santa is allowed to do something if he happens upon forces of darkness like the Joker by accident. This would indicate it is fate and he would have the green light to act. Such is the case when the Anti-Claus repeatedly attempts to cause Christmas havoc and is thwarted by Father Christmas.😇
The Finale Of Mardi Gras
Despite coming so close to saving the world from the Mardi Gras Joker, Santa enjoyed the final fantastical dinner of Mardi Gras just before Midnight. On Ash Wednesday he began his fasting that will last until Easter Sunday and the enchanted arrival of The Easter Bunny. Of course, realistically as a Demi-Angel he can get by without eating for long periods of time. However, it’s the thought that counts. Still, he loves food just as much as the Elves do. The Elves will eat somewhat less than usual but they get a free pass on the fasting as they have extremely fast metabolisms and use up a lot of energy. They need to eat sweets all the time! Merry Mardi Gras To All And To All A Responsible Night Of Moderate Partying!🎉
2021 Mardi Gras
So it seems 2021 New Orleans Mardi Gras and a great many Carnival celebrations around the world have been canceled due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. This will deeply weaken the Spirit Of Mardi Gras as overseen by the nefarious Mardi Gras Joker. As the Spirit has grown dark under his sinister stewardship, we applaud its weakening. More enchanted energy can be directed to Shrove Tuesday thus strengthening The Spirits Of Christmas and Easter! Insider sources say that the MG Joker is fuming as he tries to strongarm local officials behind the scenes. Ultimately, he blames The Plague Doctor who is thought to be the source of the global pandemic. Without the massive crowds of morally vulnerable individuals, he has very few victims for his maniacal machinations! It seems things are back in full swing for Mardi Gras 2022. Pray for the souls of those who walk the dark Carnival path making them vulnerable to The MG Joker!😈