Our talented staff of professional paranormal investigators continues to monitor the ongoing Coronavirus (COVID-19) global pandemic. We are also working in conjunction with other supernatural organizations to halt a major secret vector of this dreaded disease. That being the Plague Doctor and his Cult of insane individuals who actively spread the Coronavirus. Especially through the recruitment of asymptomatic carriers who show no symptoms yet can toss the contagion at innocent victims! It is our belief that the Plague Doctor released this version of the Coronavirus from a Chinese bio-warfare lab and then stoked its sinister spread like wildfire! Thankfully, the current pandemic turned out to be far less than he had hoped. His plans to use the virus as a carrier for a sub-supernatural virus has fallen flat. Within some Coronavirus strains lies his special recipe for the Zombie Flu which can in turn lead to full Zombification upon death. Fortunately, only a minute percentage of Coronavirus sufferers acquires the Zombie Flu. These cases have been covered up by The US Paranormal Defense Agency to prevent an even greater public panic.
That being said we here at Mystic Investigations will continue our normal operations that involve battling the forces of darkness and solving all manner of metaphysical mysteries. This even includes taking down those who hoard and unfairly overcharge for much needed medical supplies. As always we offer Pro Bono services to those financially unable to pay when the situation is deemed dangerous. Certainly, we would never leave a house haunted or a person possessed by a demon over a petty payment. Most of the agents we send out in the field who will deal with clients are in fact supernatural beings who can’t contract nor spread the Coronavirus. When visiting our headquarters we promise you will meet with only the healthiest of individuals even if they aren’t paranormal. Our offices are sanitized daily by top flight cleaning technicians along with the casting of various protection spells ensuring all will be well! All of our non-supernatural employees have been tested for COVID-19 and everyone has a clean bill of health! However, just to be safe about half our support staff is working remotely from home. May everyone stay healthy during the duration of this worldwide health emergency.
President/CEO Mystic Investigations
COVIDIOTS or COVIDIDIOTS are extra enhanced egocentric extroverts engrossed in entertaining themselves via seriously silly soiree’s stuffed with sickly souls such as themselves! Their foul folly dangerously disseminates the dreaded #Coronavirus!🥳🍾🤮#CoronavirusUSA #SocialDistancing #Pandemic