Recent Clown Sightings Linked To Demonic Cult!

Killer ClownsThe comical ancestors of clowns may have been around since the dawn of civilization. Humans have always had an instinct, and need to laugh amid the horrors, and hardships of life on Earth.  Certainly some of the forerunners of the modern day circus, and carnival style of clown we know, love, and even fear, were the medieval Jesters, and Harlequins. Outside of set venues, and the Halloween holiday, clowns were rarely seen until sporadic, and often sinister sightings began in the late 20th century.  As of 2016 these crazy clown appearances exponentially increased not just in the United States but around the world as well.  With each passing month these calamitous clowns become more brazenly bloodcurdling, and violent! Some seek to only scare people while others wield weapons of war! Usually sharp implements! Their intent is clearly to cause clownish chaos. However is the effort a clandestine clown conspiracy? So far the media, as usual, is painting this as a hoax.  A supposed mass hysteria brought about by Clown Phobia, aka Coulrophobia. Indeed that familiar human form hidden behind caked on makeup, wigs, and prosthetics can instill deep monstrous fears!

The Klaus Kane Clown Cult
A fair amount of the clowns are copycats who simply want to be apart of a terrifying trend! Their intent is to make themselves feel cool, and tough in a world that otherwise causes them to feel weak, and helpless. Unfortunately Mystic Investigations extensive research has yielded an ominous orchestration of darkness. A perplexing plot to claim the planet for clown kind! Our supernatural sources trace a great deal of these killer clowns to a cult called The Klaus Kane Clown Cult! Naturally the ring leader is named Klaus Kane. The creepy Klaus was a very early court jester in the early 800’s AD for King Charlemagne, Charles The Great, the first Holy Roman Emperor.  Coincidentally those of us in the supernatural know are privy to the fact that Charlemagne is none other than the famous Immortal Keanu Reeves!  Klaus Kane was a normal human but he learned of Keanu’s secret Immortal status, and was deeply jealous he would see the entire human story played out through the centuries.  He had vague knowledge of the magical world hidden among the shadows, and sought to steal Reeves immortality for his own!

He loathed hopping, and skipping around like a fool in his goofy jester costume to amuse Charlemagne Reeves but he pretended to enjoy it as he plotted against his Emperor.  He finally found a dark witch named Waldhurga who wanted some of Reeves immortality as well. Practicing dark magic was rapidly aging her green decrepit form! She realized the limited power of the low level demons she was summoning along with her bodily structure not able to withstand the metaphysical energies. After realizing that Kane could give her Keanu, a more powerful demon visited, and laid forth a spell to capture his immortality while giving the demon Reeves coveted soul. A prize the Devil has always sought to have for his own!

One fateful night Klaus was able to liquor up Keanu, and lure him away from his castle guards into the evil clutches of Waldhurga waiting amid a demonic ritual site with a large altar in the center. Somewhat intoxicated Reeves was caught off guard, and the two filthy fiends along with some henchmen were able to subdue him. Tied upon the abominable altar the bloodletting, and ritualistic chanting began.  The Witch, and Kane drank his Immortal blood as the despicable demon appeared as an apparition in the fire nearby sending forth a shockwave of sinister snickering. All hope seemed lost for Keanu but luckily the selfishness, and intelligence of unintended anti-hero Kane saved him.

Klaus realized that in reality the witch would only gain immortality while the deceased Reeves would go to hell. Klaus, and the rest were to be ritually sacrificed to complete the immortality, and soul stealing spell. Klaus moved at lightning speed with one sharp blade in each hand slicing the throats of everyone in attendance except Keanu. The demon screamed wildly while Klaus recited more spells all the while gulping down Reeves blood. He warped the ritual trapping the demon in a cage of holy fire, and Klaus walked right into it absorbing the demon’s essence.  So many factors were in play that he not only became a dark immortal but also a new type of being. Something we might describe as a demonic clown. Something sinister we have yet to classify. A Supernatural Clown creature! Ultimately it might fall under the general banner of Monsters!

The new spell he had created required that Charlemagne, aka Keanu Reeves, must stay alive or he would die. Their two lives were forever intertwined.  Reeves had passed out cold so he had no idea what had happened until we told him today!  Now he finally understood the unseen dark specter he’d sometimes feel stalking him! The chill of unknown origin up his immortal spine. It was Kane watching him from afar throughout his entire immortal life!

Klaus Kane was not satisfied with merely being a tormenting trickster, and serial killing Immortal for that was another requirement of his ever living status. He must continually kill innocent humans, and ritually partake of their blood. Believe it or not he is no friend of Hell as he forsook the Devil, and denied him the prize of Reeves. Kane is free agent of evil but there are rumors he may be working with The April Anti-Fool, a nefarious relative of the light hearted prankster The April Fool! Kane’s master plan has always been global domination in defiance of the Devil’s coordinated forces of darkness in conjunction with vampires, other damned paranormals, and even various royal elites, and their politician puppets! Kane cultivated a secret cult following over the centuries, and granted many paranormal clown creature status minus the Immortality. He, and his merry band of fools possess enhanced strength, speed, agility, senses, and some magical abilities. Thankfully most of their malevolent minions are mere human lackeys looking to please their master of macabre mirth! Although the master plan is to create a global superpowered clown race to rule the world in heinous havoc!

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These crazed clowns are looking to instill fear whose metaphysical energy they feed off of along with the blood of the innocent! They want worldwide calamity with destabilization of governments, and society in general. What we’ve seen in the last few months is merely an opening volley in their war against humankind! The most famous, and powerful of clowns, second to Klaus is of course, is Ronald McDonald. Ronald is more than the McDonald’s mascot. He is possibly a paranormal being shrouded in mystery beyond his McDonald’s marketing role. Ronald valiantly attempted to halt The Klaus Kane Clown Cult march of madness but ultimately he nearly escaped with his life. He had discovered the Cult when Klaus himself approached Ronald hoping he would join him under his titanic tent of terror!  Now Mr. McDonald is in hiding constantly moving from safehouse to safehouse with the help of the McDonald’s Corporation! Before he went into what’s called the Quarter Pounder Protection Program he sent forth valuable Cult intel to Mystic Investigations, and other supernatural crime fighting firms! This data only reached us days ago, and confirmed our previous findings. Now we pick up where he left off, and vow to take down Klaus, and his clandestine conspiracy to cloak the globe in clownish calamity! The surreal manifestation of an unheard of Clownpocalypse! If you spot a clown wandering about your community on any day besides Halloween then contact your local police, sheriff, or paranormal investigators. Don’t attempt to approach a clown, or apprehend one! They may be armed, and dangerous!

Interestingly the TV series “Supernatural” captured the essence of what these supernatural clowns are like. Witness a brave paranormal warrior battle two of these clown creatures in the video below! Attempts at harming them often yield iridescent glitter, and sparkles but enough blunt force will eventually hurt them.  When eradicated they will explode into gooey glitter streaming about with an odd sinister glee!

Check Out The Latest Clown Sightings On Twitter! | Batman Takes On The Clowns!


CNN News Crew Attacked By Demonic Poltergeists

Some shocking evidence of paranormal activity is seen in the CNN news story above.   A camera man felt a burning sensation, and received a scratch on his arm.  A reporter felt invisible entities touching, and pinching her.  These are just a few of the disturbing events in this haunted house that was apparently the site of various grizzly murders.  Clearly this home has become a metaphysical vortex leading into some dark astral realms resting above the surface of Hell itself!  The house is a ticking supernatural time bomb that various paranormal professionals haven’t been able to solve.  The only solution is to vacate, and burn the place in blessed holy fire with holy oil as the fuel. Unfortunately the owners still feel their financial well being is more important then their physical safety.  It’s a fair bet the poltergeist activity will steadily increase to more violent proportions, and they will have no choice but to vacate.


Anti-Christ Birthed During The Spring Solar Eclipse!

Anti-ChristEver since the First Battle Of Armageddon, on Halloween 2013, the Devil has been on Earth in biological form.  Ousted from Hell by the diabolical Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo. That battle thwarted his attempt to father his Earthly son The Anti-Christ.  The prophesied child of darkness would be the most powerful force of darkness on Earth.  Even more so than his father due to Angelic forces limiting the Devil on Earth while his son gets a free pass due to not being a pure demon.  Over the nearly past year, and a half the Devil has been dodging not only Angels but various members of the paranormal community hoping to kill or capture him.  There’s even a group of brave warriors calling themselves the Satan Slayers.  Unfortunately all of us in the supernatural community dropped the ball, and the Anti-Christ was fathered, and born in the North Atlantic Faroe Islands during the March 20th, 2015 Spring Solar Eclipse.  Yes you heard that right!  The Devil impregnated a woman, and she supernaturally gave birth during the barely three minute solar eclipse!

The ritual to Father the Little Prince of darkness is quite a production, and is designed to Supernatural Solar Eclipsekeep the consummation site hidden from Angelic forces, overcome various protection spells on Earth that prevent such an unholy birth, and also imbue the Anti-Christ child with extra special powers.  More or less the Emperor Of Hell created his own Devil’s Triangle, and directed the tip at a key point amid the visible solar eclipse. Solar Eclipses are wondrous cloaks of darkness for the forces of evil.  Not only are the holy rays of the sun blocked but it’s energies are filtered through the not so holy Moon. During a total solar eclipse this results in the visible corona ring of light being concentrated unholy light.

Earth ChakrasThe three vertices of the Devil’s personal power triangle are special supernatural energy points on Earth.  The first bottom vertex of the triangle is located near the Killarney National Park in Killarney, Ireland.  It’s the secret cloaked Capital Of Good Luck On Earth.  The home of the proud little Leprechaun people. The second bottom vertex of the triangle was the Earth’s Fourth Chakra, the Heart Chakra, located at Glastonbury-Shaftesbury, England.  The top vertex of the triangle is on the Isle Of Mann.  Home of the largest concentration of Fairies, minor nature deities, on Earth.  The power generated by this dark triangle was then directed to the Faroe Islands not only due to it’s ideal location in the solar eclipse visible zone but also due to the coincidence of the Earth wandering Third Eye Chakra being located there at that specific time.

King-Of-Hell-DevilThe Devil had no need to alter the Heart or Third Eye Chakra of the Earth since they are neutral due to the Earth being home to both the forces of good, and evil.  All the Earth’s Chakra’s are some of the most powerful paranormal places on Earth, and can be used by anyone with the right knowledge to exploit them.  When it came to the Killarney Lucky Leprechaun Energy Center, and the Fairies Of Mann things had to be twisted to the dark side.   On the evening of July 9th, 2014 the Devil provoked a fight between two rival fairy factions on the Isle Of Mann causing the widespread discharge of highly concentrated photokinetic energy bursts, and fairy dust showers.  At the Witching Hour on July 10th this caused a slow growing dark energy vortex to open from the Underworld.  It was undetectable by the Fairies who noticed a considerable drain in their powers since last year as it grew larger.  Only now has the demonic vortex been shut down.

Vulnerable Chakra’s Can Be Damaged During These Harsh End Times! Take The Free Chakra Healing Test.

Over the past years Clurichauns, aka dark Leprechauns, have been slowly but surely infiltrating the center of the Leprechaun village where Lucky Lake resides.  Lucky Lake is the largest natural wishing well on Earth containing tons of lucky gold coins under it’s hallowed waters.  These Clurichauns had apparently been cursing the gold with their bad luck bit by bit so the Leprechauns wouldn’t notice.  During the eclipse at the right moment an army of Clurichauns entered the vulnerable village, and cast a demonic spell to make the entire village the momentary Capital of dark luck.  After the eclipse past the Leprechauns repelled the dirty little devils!

The Solar Eclipse itself was amid the perfect Tetrad Blood Moon storm of the past year along with being on the Spring Equinox which is a time of supposed balance on Earth.  However the Devil tipped the scales toward evil.  The dark Anti-Christ consummation ceremony took place at an outdoor Devil worshiping temple on the Faroe Islands in the middle of the eclipse.  It was presided over by a variety of dark demonic Priests, Witches, Warlocks, and Wizards lead by the up, and coming genius Sorcerer Brimstone. A one time apprentice of the notorious Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo who is now the King Of Hell.

Originally the Devil planned for Shala, Queen Of Halloween, to be the Anti-Christ’s mother due to her being a powerful Angel-Demon Hybrid.  Luckily those plans failed.  Especially considering they went against prophesy that states the Anti-Christ should be half human.  The mother was thought most likely to be a dark demonic witch.  We now for the first time reveal the general identity of the Anti-Christ babies mother. In keeping with the fact that Jesus Christ was the son of the Omniverse God in human form the Devil choose someone similair.  A daughter of God in human form.

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Sometime over the past year the Devil kidnapped a woman who was apart of Jesus Christ’s lineage.  Yes Jesus secretly had children.  The woman was brainwashed into believing the Devil was a saintly fellow, and then on the eclipse within the power of the Devil’s Triangle in the aura of the Earth’s Third Eye Chakra the spirit of Goddess Gaia Mother Earth was cast into this woman.  The Earth’s spirit flowed freely into this specially chosen woman.  Goddess Gaia was adopted as the daughter of the Omniverse God, father of Jesus Christ, many millions of years ago.  She was originally a spontaneous creation of the collective consciousness of the Earth’s complex biosphere.  So the Anti-Christ is technically a Demi-Demongod.  A previously unknown being.  The demonic child was supernaturally conceived, developed, and born all within the eclipse.  The mother, whose name is being withheld to protect her family, was absorbed by the Earth’s Third Eye Chakra, and disappeared!  The rapidly growing Anti-Christ child is now being raised by his father, and several demonic nanny’s.  This Hell spawn could be on the world stage within 10-20 years ready to spearhead the final Battle Of Armageddon for the forces of evil!  Any current world leaders being touted as the Anti-Christ are merely the Devil’s minions paving the way for his unholy crown Prince of Darkness.

The Devil Informs The World Of His New Son’s Birth By Having Their Images Appear Across Global Skies!

Coming Soon more information of the April 4th, 2015 Tetrad Blood Moon Anti-Christening Ceremony!

Faroe Islands Eclipse Footage