The Embalming Process is meant to preserve a deceased body for funeral display along with its casket ride into the eternal afterlife. It keeps viruses and bacteria that cause putrefaction, or rotting flesh, at bay. However, the supernatural zombie virus defies all embalming chemicals or even the fact that normal viruses can’t survive in a dead body for too long. It can take up to three days for the living dead transformation to take place. Plausibly longer as the funerary chemicals can slow down the zombification process. It ultimately depends on the strength of the zombified viral strain and if magic is involved. Magic can override virtually anything!

The Walking Dead Funeral

A person could be infected by a Zombie just before they die and then undergo embalming. They would most likely make it through the funeral. Then not long after being buried, they would rise to walking dead status. Of course, there are reports of zombies animating during funeral ceremonies! Something covered up by the US Paranormal Defense Agency. When this happens it is often explained away as extreme irregularities in rigor mortis. They also throw in the old excuse of chemical reactions causing unusual gases and fluids to accumulate thereby initiating movement. If funeral-goers are bitten they promptly disappear into a top-secret governmental black hole never to be seen again! The secretive government agency is able to get to the funeral quickly due to a decades long campaign of planting surveillance equipment. Most funeral homes, morgues, and other places where dead bodies reside are monitored by the US Paranormal Defense Agency! Naturally, quite a few Morticians are aware of the supernatural world and the zombie threat.

Cremation Is The Solution

In the end, cremation guarantees you avoid all this perplexing paranormal pandemonium! It guarantees your body won’t become a mindless serial killing cannibal! Even if your soul is no longer connected to the zombie, it still destroys your legacy as it appears you’re committing these heinous acts. Still, the ashes could be used in some unholy dark magic ritual but that’s quite rare.😮 If you’re cryonically frozen then it’s a fair bet future doctors reviving you will have knowledge of zombies. The paranormal world will most likely be globally exposed by the 22nd century! If you donate your body to science then the doctors will be in for an unpleasant surprise as the government swoops in to clean up the metaphysical mess!

The Embalmed Zombie

The average life expectancy of a well-fed zombie is 7 years while a starving member of the mindless dead can only survive for three. Weather conditions and the roughness of terrain can also affect their lifespan. An elegantly embalmed zombie could add a number of years onto their violent life. The paranormal zombie virus can develop a supernatural symbiosis with preservative fluids. This compliments the consuming of flesh which strengthens the virus. It causes temporary cellular stasis and in extreme cases minor regeneration. When embalming chemicals are present the virus tends to shore up places where favorable fluids might leak out. As the zombie suffers inevitable rotting necrosis these liquids not only leak forth but also become contaminated over time. The embalmed zombie can last anywhere between 5 and 12 years!

The Immortal Zombie Of A Magical Mix

The first known zombie, not counting sapient zombie ghosts, was created by accident in approximately 4129 BC. This is when a new mystical embalming process was used on a prominent member of an ancient Sumerian village who was actually still alive! They didn’t have the medical knowledge to know he was in a deep coma falling near the edge of death. When enchanted embalming is at play by metaphysical morticians, wicked witches, or nefarious necromancers a zombie can last up to a century! Paranormal potions, vexing voodoo, and miraculous magic entering the arena can spell immortality for the voracious living dead munching machines! 🧟‍♂️Get The Peace Of Mind Planner So Relatives Know It’s Okay To Do Whatever Is Needed To Take Down Your Zombie Corpse!🧟‍♀️

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