What Is The Loch Ness Monster?

Nestled in the Scottish Highlands lies the deep dark murky waters of Loch Ness. Within these wondrous waters, one can find an abundance of wildlife including the infamous paranormal creature known as The Loch Ness Monster! Over the centuries the dinosaur-like cryptid has been spotted by numerous witnesses. The first official sighting in the public record was by an Irish Monk named Saint Columbia in the year 565. However, numerous other sightings and attacks are listed in the secret paranormal record. In some cases, reports have been lost to history or even covered up by historians working on behalf of various governments who don’t want to alarm citizens. From that time up until 1332 paranormal records indicated the blasphemous beast was quite vicious! It would relentlessly attack animals and people before disappearing back into the deep depths in a flash! Over the centuries no warriors, whether human or supernatural, could ever find nor slay the Monster Of Ness! After 1332 there were only sparse sightings and all were generally peaceful in nature. We now know the reason for this lies firmly in the hands of our planets top Sorcerer of the light named Ian McTavish.

The Deception Of The Loch Ness Monster
The Monster Of Ness is more or less a paranormal Plesiosaurus that is approximately 12 feet long. It has two large fore flippers and two back flippers. The creature has a long tail and extremely long neck. Its head isn’t much wider than the top of the neck. The skin is reptile like with a grayish green coloring. The beast’s eyes have been known to occasionally glow crimson, yellow, and even a light green due to demonic DNA and various magics within. The once carnivorous monster is known to be immortal with supernatural stealth abilities.

The Birth Of The Loch Ness Monster
The Loch Ness Monster came into existence courtesy of the dark Sorcerer Melvin Covington. He wanted to test his prolific powers since recently rising from the status of Sorcerer’s Apprentice. At the same time, he wanted to punish the bullies who ousted him from the village he grew up in. Even his own family disowned him because they felt he had a darkness in him that couldn’t be cured. He was always a socially awkward weakling generally disliked by all and things only got worse when he turned to practicing magic. After being rejected by his own people he found refuge in England with an evil Sorcerer who took Covington under his wayward wing. However, Covington was also bullied by his new malevolent master and eventually he killed him in a cowardly manner!

In the year 555, he stealthily returned to his village on the shores of Loch Ness. In a secluded area amid the Witching to Devil’s Hours, he conjured up the Monster Of Loch Ness. He originally intended a land creature to terrifying everyone but he foresaw it would be more easily discovered and eventually slayed. At the time Dragons were already being taken down left and right by brave warriors who would later be known as Knights. Instead, Covington created an aquatic creature who could perpetually hide in the deep dark water. A horrifying entity that could dive at people on shore, swallow swimmers, and strike terror in the hearts of fishermen!

The mainstream populace had no knowledge of dinosaurs at the time but those in the real supernatural community knew of this planets amazing prehistoric facts. Covington used psychic temporal magic to sense sea creatures in his general vicinity 200 million years in the past! He then opened a time portal and brought forth a newborn Plesiosaur baby into a mystically roped off area of the Loch containing spelled waters full of perplexing potions. He imbued the young aquatic carnivore with a demonic essence called forth from the bowels of Hell via various dark Underworld Gods. The little beast was a female as Covington hoped to bring forth a male for breeding. The minute monsters eyes glowed crimson as the demonic essence took hold among other mystical alterations making the creature invulnerable to attack and immortal as well. The sinister Sorcerer spelled the monster to stay within Loch Ness forever tormenting anyone in the vicinity! He also programmed its mind to have a taste for human flesh and then secondly for wildlife when necessary. Every life taken would be considered a demonic sacrifice to increase the Sorcerers power base. Covington then gave the creature a dark blessing before commanding it to swim away into the moonlit waters.

From that night onward the Loch Ness Monster slaughtered many an innocent along with causing heart attacks in some out of sheer terror. Thankfully, the full force of its power wasn’t seen until it was a grown adult monster within 3 years. Before that time the Sorcerer Covington began preparations to conjure up a male monster but he himself couldn’t resist personally going after those who had wronged him. This included intricate schemes to drive entire families crazy before taking them down in what he saw as personal justice. Luckily his insanity caught the attention of a powerful coven of witches who had enough! They dispatched Covington to the fiery pits of the Underworld with extreme prejudice! Despite considerable effort, they weren’t able to locate the blasphemous beast he birthed! However, their protective magical efforts limited the full brunt of the Loch Ness Monsters rabid rage!

The Monster Becomes A Gentle Giant
In 1331 the Sorcerer Ian McTavish came to investigate the legends of the monster while looking for a location to build his magic school. He was instinctively drawn to the shimmering waters of the Loch. Then one fateful night he caught glimpse of the Loch Ness Monster going after some moonlight skinny dippers. Ian dove in and took on the beast with the raw power of his mighty magic! He was able to subdue the leviathan after a few hours but chose not to extinguish its life as it was an innocent pawn in Covington’s warped magic. Instead, McTavish removed the demonic essence with an elaborate enchantment. He had no idea at the time but he was actually removing the demonic DNA intertwined within the beast. Unfortunately, the creature was still powerful and a carnivorous dinosaur. McTavish called upon various nature deities including Goddess Gaia Mother Earth herself to bless the monster and give it an intelligent love for all living things. It was Universally forgiven for the atrocities it performed while under the spell of demonic influences. From that moment forth the newly christened creature of a gentle sort would only eat plants and mystical food provided by McTavish. He had tamed the beast and decided Loch Ness was the perfect place for his school.

There on the shores of Loch Ness, the Sorcerer McTavish erected his magically cloaked campus to educate those with paranormal potential from around the world! Completed in 1333 it is now the finest school of its kind on Earth known as the McTavish International Academy Of Magical Sciences! The Loch Ness Monster became affectionately known as Nessie by students. She became the school’s mascot whose image is proudly displayed on their flag and other institutional memorabilia. Nessie often gives students, professors, and guests rides around the portion of the Loch with a cloaking spell on it. Unfortunately, Nessie can be somewhat mischievous at times and escapes the metaphysical barrier thereby being seen by everyone. These are the sources of sparse Loch Ness Monsters sightings every so often. Next time you’re in Loch Ness and spot Nessie fear nor for she is harmless and only wants to be friends!

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The recent project of testing Loch Ness waters for DNA will fail! They simply don’t have the equipment to identify supernatural DNA. Not to mention the fact that Nessie’s bodily structure doesn’t shed any cells!

Thank God Covington Didn’t Call Forth Predator X!

What Is The Adirondack Abomination?

Amid the breathtaking beauty of Upstate New York’s Adirondack Mountains, a sinister supernatural scourge lurks among the dark wooded shadows! Within those woods, a wayward genetic experiment took place in a top secret government lab under the misguided supervision of the Paranormal Defense Agency. The mad scientific melding of Sasquatch (Bigfoot), Abominable Snowman (Yeti), and Demi-Demon DNA into a malevolent mix. The result is a terrifyingly unique monster that was so powerful it destroyed the lab and escaped several years ago! Now the Blasphemous Beast, dubbed the Adirondack Abomination, spends his time devouring tourists flesh, bones, and all! Naturally, the government has craftily covered up the missing campers and hikers attributed to the Abomination.

The calamitous creature is described as appearing somewhat like an extremely furry gorilla with large razor sharp teeth. It’s at least 10 feet tall and weighs over a ton! Its unholy roar bellowing through the countryside is said to be one of the few things that actually scares the hell out of Bigfoot and the Yeti! It can move at lightning speed to take down prey within seconds! It’s thought the Demi-Demon within fuels the urge to primarily consume human meat! Thankfully once it gorges on humans it hibernates for at least a month digesting the remains that include the entire skeleton!

Its speed and ability to blend into its environment are what makes the Abomination so elusive for paranormal professionals to kill or capture! This includes the gradual seasonal color change of its fur from dark brown in the summer to dull white in the winter. Interestingly enough the hairy horror is spotted the most during the Autumn season for reasons unknown. Possibly the colorful foliage blowing majestically in the wind mesmerizes it. If you spot the Adirondack Abomination don’t even bother trying to contact anyone as you are most likely already dead! Make peace with your life and pray to your God for a quick death!

What Is The Boarhog Moothy-San Monster?

Boarhog MoothysonThe Boarhog Moothy-San is a Human-Hog Hybrid monster created by cruel twist of fate some 1,153 years ago in Japan. It has a grotesque boarish hog body with a human torso atop it. Despite being part boar the hair is missing due to molten Mount Fuji lava searing it off! The monstrous Moothy-San has a large goofy looking humanoid moon face. It generally walks on all fours but will sometimes rear up on its haunches when it feels threatened. Ancient Japanese legend states that the Moothy-San was a tall big boned woman who ate her family out of house, and home while bloating up to 400 pounds in the year 864. This epic eating episode, mainly consisting of fish, and rice, only occured after all the men in her village refused to marry her.  They found her homely unfeminine appearance, and somewhat slow witted mind quite unsettling. Naturally the excessive weight didn’t help any.

Men of the time were also repelled by her because she was beyond lazy. She cared not for housework, cleaning up after herself, and was extremely piggish in her way of life. Her father tried to make something of her by setting Moothy up with housekeeping jobs in the wealthier homes. Unfortunately she could not live up to even the most minimal expectations. Moothy-San’s father was deeply ashamed of her after putting his good name forth on her behalf. The family was forced to abandon Moothy-San due to her insane diet, selfish messy ways, and general incompetence in all areas of life! Her father took her out into the wild woods in utter shame, and disappointment with his daughter. He left her to fend for herself in the Aokigahara, a haunted mystical forest northwest of Mount Fuji.  A forest famous for ghosts, and all forms of paranormal life along with suicides, and undesirables being abandoned to relieve society of their burden. It was the frightening forest of many cruel fates!

Moothy-San was lost for days dying of hunger until she heard the eruption of Mount Fuji, and followed the thunderous sounds to the sight of lit lava.  She caught sight of a Wild Boar near a hot lava flow, and wrestled it to the ground under her titanically immense weight before literally eating the squealing beast alive. In the process of the Moothy-San’s feeding frenzy, her, and the horrified hog fell into the deadly lava! The two were forged together in the fires of hell on Earth forming an Obsidian monument to the madness of their meeting.

There they lie entangled for 100 years! During that time the Moothy-San dwelled as a ghost mindlessly chasing the spirit of the boar hog about the forest. Both trapped by the metaphysical magnetism of the Aokigahara forest. Moothy-San was also distraught over not being loved by her family. She couldn’t move on to the Heavenly Afterlife, and the boar was unable to dwell in Goddess Gaia’s Paradise Plane. Finally the duo cast in shiny stone was found by one of Japan’s first Sorcerer’s looking to test his powers on September 1st, 964. He sensed the life force in the obsidian sculpture of volcanic origin, and cast powerful magics upon it. He ended up creating the hideous Boarhog Moothy-San monster via a magical spell, and curse!

The Boarhog Moothy-San was startled by its reanimation, and its new mind of the melded Moothy-San woman, and the boar spirit. The Sorcerer laughed maniacally at its deformed creation before disappearing in a flash of teleportation light.  The 7 foot tall, 1 ton, behemoth couldn’t talk at first, and only grunted. Later it’s been said it learned to utter short phrases while on rampages to eat anything, and everything in sight! This includes innocent humans!  Thankfully this only occurs every 100 years.

The blasphemous beast hibernates so deep inside Mount Fuji that it’s very near hot lava flows.  For 100 years it sleeps in a nightmarish state with its deformed spirit haunting the Aokigahara forest. Then the hunger pains in the body awaken it.  The Moothy-San then storms down the mountain to the nearest village to pillage, and consume all food followed by any animals, and humans it can spot moving! Once it has its fill it returns to Mount Fuji to slumber in hell once again.

The last time it appeared was 1823 when the Boarhog attempted to attack Edo, later becoming Tokyo, Japan. The Japan Legendshoggish horror was repelled by several Samurai warriors, and mystical sages wielding sacred objects of unknown origin. The Moothy-San was set to appear again in 1923 but a devastating Earthquake possibly destroyed it via a cave in, trapped it in Mount Fuji, or did something to keep it dormant.  However paranormal investigators continued to detect the dark tormented spirit of the Moothy-San in the Aokigahara. During the 1923 Earthquake animals, and people in the forest were possessed by the bad Boarhogs spirit. The animals were labeled as rabid, and put down. Possessed humans were declared psychotic, and confined to mental health facilities as they were never the same ever again! This went on for 3 days! We seriously recommend steering clear of the Aokigahara between September 1-3, 2123. Assuming you live that long through life extension technologies, and it doesn’t gain access to its big pig body before then!

UPDATE! The Termination Of The Boarhogs Reign Of Terror!
On May 31, 2017 private paranormal investigators captured, and contained the Boarhog Moothy-San!  They now have possession of her bloated body for supernatural study!  A joint expedition of Japanese, Indian, and British paranormal agents hiked deep into suspect caves near Mount Fuji, and yielded an amazing discovery. After a tip from local psychics the team unearthed the Moothy-San trapped within a collapsed cavern. The great beast suddenly awoke as the team’s lights flashed upon its alabaster piggish form. A spine tingling squealing scream shot at them, and the mad monster charged forth with angry hunger in its evil eyes!  The supernatural investigators shot back with high powered stun guns, and cattle prods. The blasphemous beast was put down with only one injury to a team member. The beasts gargantuan whale rear beared down on a man causing broken bones, and major bruising. The alarming abomination was dragged into a cage, and lifted from the Aokigahara Forest by helicopter. The despicable denizen of darkness now lies in a private secret underground research lab in Tokyo! Thank the Lord this long curse ridden nightmare is over! Read The Complete Story On Our Paranormal News Blog…

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