Does Santa Get My Letters?

santaletterThe unbelieving postal services of the world generally consider kids letters to Santa Claus as undeliverable fantasies. This includes the US Post Office, a quasi-agency of the United States Government, secretly sends most of the letters to a dead mail center for destruction. However, the letters mysteriously disappear each year. Secret levels of the US government including the PDA (Paranormal Defense Agency), FBI, and CIA continue to investigate what happens to these letters. Interestingly enough, the Paranormal Defense Agency is aware of Santa Claus but believe he is a paranormal threat rather than a benevolent Angel-Human Hybrid. Some actually think he’s an alien! The US Government places Santa Claus as number one on their Ten Most Wanted Paranormal List as they considered him an unauthorized invader into their air space! There is also evidence of his extraordinary powers that could in theory compromise the security of the government and possibly be used in a coup attempt. Yes the government is being quite silly about this!

Santa utilizes a combination of direct teleportation magics and Elves funneled through sophisticated paranormal portals to confiscate the letters that the Post Office intends to destroy. Every single letter makes it to Santa’s desk much in the same way every prayer reaches God.  His supernatural powers allow him to read each one, and he may sometimes reply thereby skirting the Supernatural Secrecy Pact.  Some post offices also have a program that sends the letters to various kind-hearted people and charitable organizations under the Operation Santa Program.  Some parents also intercept the letters before the postal delivery person collects them.  Santa approves of parents presenting presents in his holy name under the noble umbrella of the Christmas Spirit! Ultimately, every letter received by the North Pole City Post Office ends up in the prestigious Hall Of Letters for eternal posterity!

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