A Most Unpleasant Christmas In July!
On one of Mystic Investigations Christmas Vacations to North Pole City Saint Nicholas shared for the first time a major breach of his winter wonderland by US authorities in the late morning hours of July 25th, 2016. The Human-Angel Hybrid Santa Claus was working with his Enochian Witches who practice Angel magic in order to shore up the cloaking spell that hides North Pole City from the world. Generally he keeps that low key because there are those in Heaven who frown upon Enochian magic, and the Angels who secretly choose to dispense power to various practitioners of magic battling the forces of darkness. A confluence of unfortunate events, including the spell work on his citywide invisibly cloak, made his sainted sanctuary visible to the world. There was the fact that the Spirit Of Christmas was at its weakest in July along with the Delta Aquarids Meteor Shower sending demonic radiation to Earth. It seems the showers source, the comets Marsden and Kracht, are actually demons trapped in mystical ice by Ice Demons. In addition some diabolical dark warlocks hit the North Pole City cloaking shield with even more dark energies. They were acting as independent magical contractors of the US Federal Government. The evil practitioners of magic quickly proceeded to inform a special branch of the government that Santa Claus was finally exposed for all the world to see! Unfortunately he is number one on their Paranormal Most Wanted List due to his incursions into US airspace.
A Swat team of 22 agents, and three supernatural scientists, including a Cryptozoologist, from the US Paranormal Defense Agency actually raided North Pole City after receiving the intel from the warlocks. They were already in a submarine in the area as part of a continuing effort to locate, contain, and capture Santa Claus for supernatural study. Amazingly an intrusion of this nature has never happened before by the hand of a government agency. Santa’s never declared himself the official leader of good but most within the real magical paranormal community see him as an awe inspiring chieftain of justice. However the US government sees all paranormal beings as a terror threat, and seeks to either eradicate, or experiment with said creatures. In some cases they force them to act as agents to deal with other supernaturals. The USA, and other governments, have known about Santa Claus for quite some time but their intelligence on him is very limited. The believe him to be an immortal, or an extra-dimensional being of some type. Possibly an extraterrestrial as well. LOL! They simply refuse to believe in Angels, or any Angelic type entity since such beings are beyond rare on this Earth. So any reports of him being a Demi-Angel have been dismissed as false. Realistically how could they ever hope to have any technology or power that could deal with such a magnificent God like entity?
The fully armed PDA agents exited a submarine that shot up through the ice of the Arctic Ocean right next to the massive glacial wall gleaming in the 24-7 Arctic Summer Sun. The mammoth thick ice wall surrounds the entire Christmas Compound. Satellite intelligence easily found the location without the magical cloak hiding things. They promptly marched into a paranormal place few humans have laid eyes on. Through the sparkling ice tunnel entrance they cautiously walked through with a cameraman documenting everything. Although the video feed displayed quite a bit of static due to some unknown form of electromagnetic energy coming from the ice in the form of a soothing ice blue glow. It was the weakened cloaking shield. The tunnel opened into a clearing with the cobblestone streets of downtown North Pole City in the distance. They were clearly awe struck for a second by the winter paradise before them as everything looked beyond beautiful than anything ever seen in the outside world. They noted the odd nature of the snowy oasis clad with pine trees, other vegetation, rock formations, and wildlife. Some snow bunnies hopped about while being chased playfully by a white wolf puppy. A Penguin then waddled past wearing a Santa cap as he stared at the agents. One of the agents said,”What the!?!” A polar bear could be seen strolling in the distance as well with some manner of little person dressed in green riding atop his back. The entire scene was quite surreal! Like something out of a special effects film! Some science team members took soil samples on what should have only been ice floating on top of the Arctic Ocean. It looked like normal soil except for some odd gold glitter mixed within it.
The motley military crew started toward the village they saw in the distance. Suddenly Frosty The Snowman walked up to them with a smile, and said,”Well hello there fellows! Is it Halloween already?” The leader of the men in black, named Commander Ellison, screamed,”Holy sh*t what the hell is that! Open fire at will!” They blasted their machine guns foolishly loaded with silver bullets. Naturally this would have no extra special power to destroy beings of goodness. However Frosty was nothing but a pile of snow within seconds due to the sheer barrage of hundreds of metal projectiles. Some child guests of Santa, who are members of the supernatural community, had been playing with the enchanted Snowman seconds earlier. They heard the commotion, and ran on to the scene to witness the horror! The alarmed kids cried,”OMG they killed Frosty! Get Santa!” One of the Swat soldiers tried to grab a kid but the little girl used his telekinetic powers to toss him into some of his fellow troops. The kids quickly fled into the woods!
Immediately a troop of 12 diminutive elves came running up holding what appeared to be large candy canes. Swat team leader Ellison then ordered,”Extraterrestrials! Prepare to open fire!” The Elves held hands, and repeatedly chanted,”The Spirit Of Christmas compels us! The Spirit Of Christmas compels us! Santa is our savior!” A glowing neon green energy shield formed around them as the order was given to fire. The shield caused the bullets to bounce off. The Chief Elf then yelled,”You’re naughty boys! Elves commence firing!” The giant candy canes were guns of some sort that shot forth a barrage of non-lethal projectiles that includes candy canes, gumdrops, silly string, glitter, tinsel, and Bursting Bethlehem’s (mini light bursts of simulated Bethlehem Star light). The Swat team was forced to retreat into the woods nearby. As another troop of Elves advanced on their position Commander Ellison declared,”They’re flanking us! Rocket launchers & grenades now! Use any and all lethal force to repel the ET enemy with extreme prejudice!” Massive explosions rang forth near the two troops of Elves who retreated in terror as trees fell everywhere. One of the smallest Elves named Gerbert was confused by the chaotic battle and ran right into the heart of the enemy camp screaming “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” An agent swooped him up as another said,”Bag and tag the little bastard!” Gerbert struggled as he was thrown into a large black leather bag marked “E.T. Invader”.
One of the agents was detecting a high level of a unique brand of electromagnetic energy coming further North of their position so they advanced in that direction through a pine forest. As they neared a clearing three exquisitely beautiful women wearing white see through gowns laden in glittering snowflakes appeared as apparitions at first. All the agents were mesmerized by them as they materialized into physical form. One of them said,”We are the Snow Nymphs Of Winter. We mean you no harm. Why have you disturbed the peace, and harmony of this sacred place?” The three Nymphs walked forward, and among the agents who were clearly smitten into a trance by the gorgeous Goddesses. Commander Ellison stuttered a bit as he said,”I I well we’re here on orders of the US Government to capture the paranormal terror suspect known as Santa Claus aka Saint Nicholas. Do you know his whereabouts ladies?” One of the Nymph’s chuckled sweetly, and replied,”Father Christmas is in the house at the top of that hill. He always loves surprise guests.” They all headed toward the hill leaving the Nymphs behind in peace. As the soldiers walked away a somewhat shady looking character, wearing a snowflake crystal amulet around his neck, strolled out of the woods, and put each arm around a Nymph as the other one stood behind him. He then said,”Looks like Old Saint Nick has himself a bit of trouble. I can’t wait to see the show!” One of the Nymph’s replied,”Oh Jack you’re such a naughty boy”, and they all started laughing. The Winter God Jack Frost, and his female companions headed North well behind the troops. However not before Jack performed an uncharacteristically benevolent act by snapping his fingers. This caused Frosty The Snowman to resurrect back to life! As the winter deities strolled away an excited Frosty said,”Why thank you Jack!”
Santa’s home, Claus Manor, appeared in a clearing at the top of a hill overlooking the entire sainted city. The Victorian style manor was strewn with colorful twinkling lights, wreaths, red silky bows, and had lit candles in the windows. One of the agents asked team leader Ellison,”Were those women ghosts?” Ellison replied,”Possibly but I think they could have very well been a holographic mind control projection device to distract us. They wanted us to come to this house so it could be a trap. Let’s split up in groups of three, and storm the place using Attack Pattern Trident.” One group was in front of the house, while another went around back, and the third group shot harpoon ropes to the roof. They began climbing upward when all the sudden flying reindeer whizzed past them erratically causing them to fall to the ground. An agent bellowed,”What the hell are they?” Another replied,”Some manner of genetically engineering weaponized deer! Open fire!” Again machine gun fire echoed everywhere. Thankfully not one bullet was able to touch the super speedy reindeer. Even if one had been hit it’s extremely unlikely it could have caused anything but a minor irritation for the fantastical flying wonders!
Commander Ellison and some of his men were knocked to the ground by a reindeer with a glowing crimson nose who looked down on them smiling while saying,”Hi I’m Rudolph! Let’s be friends guys!” One of the men yelled,”Oh my God the animal just talked! They implanted a human brain into an animal!” Another one irrationally declared,”Holy cow it’s a human-deer hybrid!” Ellison barked the order,”Don’t fall for this ruse men! Fall back to the tree line!” Suddenly a stern manly voice commanded,”Enough! What is the meaning of this?” It was Santa Claus walking out of the front porch of his stately manor in his trademark red suit. The Commander then spoke into his radio,”It’s the Asset Claus. I repeat the Asset Claus has been directly observed! I have visual confirmation of the target! Shoot for the legs! Contain, and capture order only!” They shot their machine guns at Santa’s legs but they bounced off his dense supernatural Demi-Angel body while he laughed with glee, and said,”Oh my that tickles boys!” In fact his velvet crimson suit only had a few small tears in it. Commander Ellison then ordered,”Break out the silver net, and contain the Asset!” Four men ran at Santa Claus with a gleaming net made of pure silver. Upon covering Old Saint Nick it shot into a million silver sparkles blinding the men for a few seconds until they retreated back to their group. Once again their belief that silver was some mystical material that weakens all supernatural beings was proved false! Ellison finally bellowed with urgency,”We have no choice men! Fire the Claus Neutralization Device, And Run For Cover!”
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