Author Archives: Paranormal Newsdesk

Supernatural Connection To Denver Broncos Super Bowl XLVIII Loss

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Satan Sits At The Supernatural Super Bowl With Seahawks Win!

The Denver Broncos lost Super Bowl XLVIII in one of the most embarrassing defeats in football history on February 2nd, 2014! This one-sided match was almost surreal as the Seattle Seahawks pummeled the Broncos who had a score of zero for most of the game. The sad Super Bowl showing ended in a score of 43-8.  How could a team that made it to the Super Bowl play like a group of bumbling amateurs? It’s inexplicable!  After some suspicious supernatural cues, Mystic Investigations began investigating this unfortunate incident. This led us to the uncovering of a rare deal with the Devil himself.  Sure, there are deals with demons but you have to be someone special to receive a direct audience with the Prince Of Darkness himself! Although since October 2013 it’s somewhat easier since he’s walking the Earth in a biological human-like form. As of 2015, he’s primarily here to raise his son The Anti-Christ!😈

A Devil’s Deal Is Made

Even without directly holding the reigns of Hell in his hands, since the Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo took over as King of Hell, the Devil is still a powerful Archdemon and technically the Emperor Of Hell and the Underworld. Satan has legions of loyal demon followers holding plenty of souls in their blasphemous collection.  There are also the practitioners of black magic who see him as their dark master and unholy lord. It seems Microsoft co-founder, and Seattle Seahawks owner Billionaire Paul Allen had the clout to summon the Devil to him via contact with some high-level Satanic Priests. This puzzled us at first since it’s common knowledge in the paranormal community that Allen, and fellow college drop-out Bill Gates, formed an unholy pact with a high-level demon named Shazzleton.

They sold their souls to make Microsoft one of the most successful corporations on Earth. Once you sell your soul and make a demonic deal you usually have nothing left to negotiate with. However, after consulting numerous physics, seers, mystics, and priests we discovered that Dimitri Diablo slew Shazzleton in one of the many battles taking place in the Hell Civil War. Factions loyal to the Devil are still fighting Diablo’s authority. Before his untimely death, Shazzleton held the title of Grand Duke Demon Of Hell!

The Re-Selling Of A Soul

Once a demon is eradicated from existence all the souls he bought are freed from their contract. Although sometimes demons sneak in riders that state the souls are ultimately owned by the Devil thereby ensuring the souls remain the property of Hell in perpetuity! If whatever the soul seller got in return has altered reality on a global scale then it can’t be taken back. However, any supernatural tampering with the timeline on a major level would enact the Supernatural Secrecy Pact causing Angelic intervention. Clearly, Allen doesn’t seem to see the importance of having a soul, and he was quite delighted to have what he thinks of as his soul stock back in play. For reasons unknown, he felt a Super Bowl win was worth his immortal soul as crazy as that sounds for someone who is a billionaire!  The Devil was quite happy to get another soul back in his possession for something so simple as a football game win.

Satan Secures A Seat At The Super Bowl

Witnesses remember seeing a man fitting the Devil’s current description at the Super Bowl so he obviously took care of this task personally. Some remember him specifically because he would laugh maniacally every time the Broncos fumbled the ball or screwed up royally in some way.  Most likely he was performing magic in each of those instances. From the coin toss win by Seattle onward the Devil had the entire Super Bowl under his Satanic spell.  Although clearly Actor Kurt Russell, a friend of the Devil, knew in advance what the outcome of the Super Bowl would be. Spectators remember that the guy who turned out to be the Devil was really enjoying himself as he knocked back $12 beers and $13 hot dogs in mass quantities between his dramatically loud laughter. He also stood out in fans minds because he was sitting in between two hot women wearing low-cut dresses. It’s unknown if they were demons, succubus, Satanic sycophants, or simply women under his supernatural spell.  When the game was over, he was seen getting into a black stretch limo with his two ladies. A few swear they saw his eyes glow red during the game.

In conclusion, Coloradans can at least have some solace that it was supernatural interference that lost them the Super Bowl. Hopefully, the Denver The Broncos were finally redeemed in 2016 when they won Super Bowl 50! After the 2014 incident, a Team Psychic was hired to sense if anyone was selling their soul, performing a curse, or utilizing some other supernatural chicanery to mess with their team! [Watch Super Bowl Highlights Here…]🏈

📝Prologue: Satan reached an agreement with King Of Hell Dimitri Diablo after a long Civil War in Hell. He respected the fact that a once simple human like Diablo was able to rise to such power and actually challenge him. In a way, it supported God’s view of humans eventually rising beyond even Archangels. However, The Devil loved that the one to rise the highest thus far was one who was so strong with evil! In his mind, he was sticking it to his Heavenly Father and showing him that maybe his decision was wrong since humans can be quite destructive! Diablo remains King Of Hell while Satan is the Emperor. In fact, he always was the Emperor who also named himself King as well. Lucifer loves his titanic titles!👑

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The North American Sasquatch Uprising!

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Since 2017 Mystic Investigations has been tracking an ever-growing Sasquatch rebellion. The Bigfoot, sometimes called the missing link, are a distant relative of humankind genetically altered by extraterrestrial’s experimenting with the supernatural in North America. They were the first intelligent species on the continent. These gentle furry giants welcomed the Native Americans who migrated here from Asia and the Pacific Islands. Most tribes saw the Sasquatch as a sacred creature to be revered. Some even worshiped them! The Bigfoot later aided Natives with the new Werewolf threat and later the arrival of European immigrants. Certainly, the Natives and Bigfoot shared the common threat of intolerable invaders. As modern civilization grew the proud Sasquatch people were forced further into the deep forests and mountainous regions. They only wished to be left alone but non-Natives refused to do so! They sought to uncover their secrets and even hunt them down! Eventually, the Bigfoot was somewhat forgotten amid the folklore of other paranormal beings and also unverified tall tales of the great American West.

Things began to heat up again for the Sasquatch courtesy of the infamous 1967 Patterson–Gimlin Film shot in Northern California. This was the re-birth of the Bigfoot research and hunting movements across North America from sea to shining sea. Things only got worse in the 21st century with the advent of ever-increasing convenient photographic tools, tracking equipment, and mass social media. We even have TV shows centered around the hunt for Bigfoot. Sometime in the 2010’s a group of Sasquatch reached out to the small Demi-Bigfoot community for help. Indeed Sasquatch have mated with humans! The Demi-Bigfoot began creating a network to spread the word of a coming war between the Sasquatch and mainstream human society. By 2017 a nationwide effort was underway. The Bigfoot Communications Network is thought to be a combination of modern technology and old world methods that may include Native American smoke signals. The Bigfoot Hybrids most likely handle the technological end as Sasquatch shun sophisticated society in the same way the Amish do.

By early 2018 some minor skirmishes began taking place across the United States with a few in Mexico and Canada. Ultimately local Bigfoot Hunters, private paranormal firms, and the US Paranormal Defense Agency squashed these rebellions that were a direct response to the invasion of Bigfoot privacy. As with all supernatural events the government actively covers up such incidents. On August 14, 2018, things finally came to a head when a bizarre hashtag appeared on social media. The hashtag “mp; saf” was a secret warning code for the government that indicated a serious coordinated nationwide Sasquatch uprising [mp = Major Paranormal / Nationwide. saf = (sa) Sasquatch and (f) = fight.] Thankfully the secret US Paranormal Defense Agency in conjunction with members of the supernatural community repelled the alarming effort to overrun our society!

Since then things have remained somewhat quiet as the Sasquatch regroup and look to reevaluate their plans to rid themselves of dangerous humans! Still, there have been some abductions of people who may prove useful to the Bigfoot cause. It is sad things came to this point as the Bigfoot have been mostly peaceful creatures unless provoked. Clearly, they are no longer on the defensive but now on a major offensive! The Sasquatch are angered by the human invasion of their sacred lands. This is evident in the way they’ve mentored their Demi-Sasquatch kind. Mystic Investigations ran into one with his child at an amusement park recently. Both were rather reprehensible! They believe they are the master race and should inherit our world! That being said there are good Demi-Sasquatch such as a Bouncer named Mr. Altec who works at our local paranormal Club 13. He has been an invaluable informant on the misguided Sasquatch war against humankind!

While the government and various hardcore Bigfoot Hunters now triple their efforts to expose, capture, and kill Sasquatch others like Mystic Investigations work toward brokering peace. In conjunction with our Native American allies, we hope to end this violent crisis and aid in repelling those who would harm the noble Sasquatch. We know many of you have a deep interest in Bigfoot but we implore you to respect their privacy and leave them alone in their remote rural abodes. Only those who commune peacefully with nature may meet the Bigfoot and develop a symbiotic kinship with them if deemed worthy. At the end of the day we can’t grow complacent with the fact that we greatly outnumber these usually gentle giants. Their power is immense and they are immune to magic! They are a titanic force to be reckoned with!

Interesting Fact: The Sasquatch were set to be allied in battle with the Earthly Gods And Goddesses in the War Of Armageddon. However, the Nature Deities aren’t happy with the recent violence between humans and Bigfoot.

The Infamous 1967 Footage That Started The Modern Hunt For Bigfoot!

It is thought that the Sasquatch in this video was actually shunned by his people as an outcast for so blatantly exposing their kind to the world.

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Hawaii’s Kīlauea Volcano Eruption Caused By A Nature Deity Dispute

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The alarming eruption of the volcano Kilauea in Hawaii on May 3, 2018 along with subsequent earthquakes has a supernatural cause! Various Hawaiian Priestesses, Mystics, Psychics, and Seers have agreed that a war of the Gods began brewing on April 30, 2018 as the first hints of impending lava spewing doom were detected. Nature Gods and Goddesses are the personification of our environment. Their emotional states cause metaphysical energy anomalies that affect our surroundings. Positively for happy peace or negatively for angry war!

Kilauea has been the Earthly home to the Hawaiian Fire Gods and Goddesses for countless millennia. Their Queen is Pele Goddess of fire, lightning, wind, and volcanoes. Recently Kanola, the God of the Hawaiian Underworld, began to curry deep favor with the King God of the entire Underworld Hades. They’ve formed an unholy alliance with other Dark Underworld Gods and Demons as they vie for control of Earth in the coming battles of Armageddon. The King of the Hawaiian Gods Kane has reluctantly agreed with his longtime friend Kanola as he cares not for being so low on the Godly totem pole. It seems the King Of The Greek Gods Zeus has the largest faction of Earth Gods and Goddesses under his titanic belt. However, he has repeatedly dismissed Kane and virtually insulted him on a number of occasions. Zeus is known for his large ego but is usually smart enough to broker peace and bring factions together.

On the other hand, the Goddess Pele is loyal to Goddess Gaia Mother Earth who must remain neutral in Armageddon as her body the planet is the battleground itself. As a Daughter Of The Omniverse God, she must abide by his wishes of impartiality. Kanola implored Pele to join him and began ordering his cult to sacrifice innocent victims into her volcano for the purposes of harvesting the power of human souls. This enraged Pele and set off an unseen battle out of phase with our reality. The fiery forces of Pele and the denizens of darkness under Kanola fiercely fight for supernatural supremacy! Kane refuses to intervene despite secretly siding with Kanola. Meanwhile, Zeus has sent forth olive branches to Pele in the hopes of enticing her to join his powerful pantheon.

Expect continued lava flows and earthquakes as the battle rages on! Especially with Pele forging new alliances with other fire gods from around the world including the Greek God Hephaestus. These Gods are all hoping to bring the powerful Pele into the Armageddon fray as she is the most powerful fire and volcanic Goddess on Earth! As this invincible war gives us fiery ground shaking chaos expect human violence within a safe vicinity of the volcano as the Kanola Cult battles Pele’s Priestess and her loyal disciples. Pray to and for Pele and her allies as she fights for peace on the Hawaiian Islands and the world at large! [Twitter]

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