Hawaii’s Kīlauea Volcano Eruption Caused By A Nature Deity Dispute

The alarming eruption of the volcano Kilauea in Hawaii on May 3, 2018 along with subsequent earthquakes has a supernatural cause! Various Hawaiian Priestesses, Mystics, Psychics, and Seers have agreed that a war of the Gods began brewing on April 30, 2018 as the first hints of impending lava spewing doom were detected. Nature Gods and Goddesses are the personification of our environment. Their emotional states cause metaphysical energy anomalies that affect our surroundings. Positively for happy peace or negatively for angry war!

Kilauea has been the Earthly home to the Hawaiian Fire Gods and Goddesses for countless millennia. Their Queen is Pele Goddess of fire, lightning, wind, and volcanoes. Recently Kanola, the God of the Hawaiian Underworld, began to curry deep favor with the King God of the entire Underworld Hades. They’ve formed an unholy alliance with other Dark Underworld Gods and Demons as they vie for control of Earth in the coming battles of Armageddon. The King of the Hawaiian Gods Kane has reluctantly agreed with his longtime friend Kanola as he cares not for being so low on the Godly totem pole. It seems the King Of The Greek Gods Zeus has the largest faction of Earth Gods and Goddesses under his titanic belt. However, he has repeatedly dismissed Kane and virtually insulted him on a number of occasions. Zeus is known for his large ego but is usually smart enough to broker peace and bring factions together.

On the other hand, the Goddess Pele is loyal to Goddess Gaia Mother Earth who must remain neutral in Armageddon as her body the planet is the battleground itself. As a Daughter Of The Omniverse God, she must abide by his wishes of impartiality. Kanola implored Pele to join him and began ordering his cult to sacrifice innocent victims into her volcano for the purposes of harvesting the power of human souls. This enraged Pele and set off an unseen battle out of phase with our reality. The fiery forces of Pele and the denizens of darkness under Kanola fiercely fight for supernatural supremacy! Kane refuses to intervene despite secretly siding with Kanola. Meanwhile, Zeus has sent forth olive branches to Pele in the hopes of enticing her to join his powerful pantheon.

Expect continued lava flows and earthquakes as the battle rages on! Especially with Pele forging new alliances with other fire gods from around the world including the Greek God Hephaestus. These Gods are all hoping to bring the powerful Pele into the Armageddon fray as she is the most powerful fire and volcanic Goddess on Earth! As this invincible war gives us fiery ground shaking chaos expect human violence within a safe vicinity of the volcano as the Kanola Cult battles Pele’s Priestess and her loyal disciples. Pray to and for Pele and her allies as she fights for peace on the Hawaiian Islands and the world at large! [Twitter]

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Santa Claus Sexiest Supernatural Man Alive!


Paranormal People Magazine is the secret supernatural sub-magazine of People Magazine. A mystical magazine only distributed to those of us in the real supernatural community. The magazine tends to take a lighter tone rather than focusing on the dangers of the dark forces that infest our planet. For the second year in a row they have named Santa Claus, aka Saint Nicholas, as the Sexiest Supernatural Man alive on Earth for 2017.  As a Demi-Angel, aka Angel-Human Hybrid, he has been blessed with a handsome exterior complete with a naturally muscular physique. Santa is seen as the savior, and leader of the forces of light on Earth. His headquarters of justice is North Pole City.

When asked for a comment he said,”I’m very flattered by this recognition! However we have much more pressing matters to concentrate on as all out Armageddon approaches! I must also stress I’m happily married to my wife Holly so I implore the lustful ladies out there to respect our sacred union. Let the Spirit Of Christmas dwell in your hearts in place of physical temptations. Merry Christmas to all and thank you!” Mrs. Claus had a similar comment when she said,”He’s all mine ladies! Don’t even think of it! We’ve been happily together longer than any human has been alive! However I forgive you for your less than pure thoughts directed at my husband. Merry Christmas!”

Interestingly enough Santa Claus’s evil identical twin brother, The Anti-Claus, should theoretically enjoy this honor as well. Unfortunately for him his turn to the dark side warped his Angel genes into that of demonic. This altered his appearance to that of less than flattering. This also included him ironically acquiring the iconic bowl full of jelly belly mistakenly attributed to Santa Claus. Despite this the Anti-Claus can utilize dark spells to Glamour his appearance into something handsome. The Dark Claus wasn’t available for comment but he does have a history of deep jealousy toward his holy brother. More than likely he is hiding in a cave somewhere plotting his Christmas revenge!

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The Truth Of Tahoe Tessie Told!

Recent sightings of Lake Tahoe’s monster ‘Tahoe Tessie’ have been skyrocketing as tourists flood town for the summer season. With the proliferation of these events, The Tahoe Journal decided it was time to finally get to the bottom of the truth behind the legend. After scouring the lake for information with regard to Tessie and her origins, our investigation repeatedly led us to the same place: the TRPA.

After numerous calls, emails, and visits to the TRPA headquarters in Stateline, NV, we finally located a former agent to speak with us. The agent requested that we not give any identifying information about them, due to the fact that the last agent to divulge information about ‘Situation T’ was promptly fed to the legend itself.

“I’ve worked for the TRPA for nearly 12 years, and it disgusts me that no one within the agency will come clean as to the origins of Tessie. I was there the day the InGen corporation had the first meeting with board of directors in 1992. At the time TRPA was planning to create a new attraction to draw more tourism to Lake Tahoe and boost the local economy.”

According to our anonymous tip, when InGen caught wind of TRPA’s plans, they approached them with an offer they couldn’t refuse: a mysterious lake monster that would lure curious minds from far and wide.

Read The Rest Of This Alarming Article By AJ Steed At The Tahoe Journal…

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