Xavier Remington 
Amazingly, Blob Monsters sickeningly slide about our paranormal planet! In general terms a Blob Monster is basically any mass of gelatinous goo or similar material, that can move under its own power with some manner of consciousness. The creature’s mental capacity can range from zombie-like instincts or all the way to intelligent self-aware sapience. The most famous Blob is portrayed in the 1958 movie “The Blob“. It was based on the true story of Extraterrestrial goo falling to Earth within a meteor. It then proceeded to devour humans thereby increasing in strength and size. This Blob was driven by a primal instinct to devour all conscious life. In the end, simple cold temperatures stopped the creature as it came from an extremely hot planet.
The Radiation Ridden 20th Century Gave Us A Big Increase In Blob Monsters!
Most Blob Monsters came into existence in the post-World War II era of mass chemical and radiation use. However, there are sporadic paranormal records of ancient Blobs with prehistoric origins, those created by magic, or alchemy, and the aforementioned alien Blobs. Many times in the magical realm the Blob was the culling of various metaphysical energies into a metaphysical matter form. Sometimes they were ghosts, poltergeists, demons, and other higher dimensional beings ripped away from their alternate planes of existence. Their consciousness inhabiting an ectoplasm form. Even a live human can be cursed by a Gypsy or other powerful practitioner of magic into having their soul stolen from their body and slammed into a blasphemous Blob form!
The Quintessential Glittering Green Glowing Blob
Currently, the most common form of Blob Monster is the green glittering glowing gelatinous type illustrated at the top of this article. The creatures can appear deceptively cute in some cases! Don’t be fooled for they are deadly! They are often the product of high levels of radiation mixing with certain chemicals. Toxic waste dumps are the most common sites of their birth. A human, some supernatural beings, or even an animal can fall prey to chemical radioactivity thereby being reduced to a gelatinous form. Generally, though an animal doesn’t have enough spiritual juice to form a Blob or keep its form for too long. Somewhere in the mix, there is a metaphysical transfer of the victim’s soul to the new gel form. It charges the goo and utilizes the entire Blob as a consciousness matrix in place of a biological brain. Radioactive goo is then transformed into metaphysical matter rather than physical matter. Metaphysical matter reacts directly to consciousness without the need for logical biological or mechanical parts. The outer shell is rather firm while the deepest parts of the Blob are slimier in nature. More so when it has absorbed various people, animals, and sometimes random objects.
Radioactivity vs Metaphysical Energy
The creature glitters and glows with a mesmerizing green hue that makes it stand out in the darkness. This is often more of an indication of the metaphysical energy activity of their spirit rather than radiation. Although, the catalyst for the green color is gamma radiation. The same stuff that creates Incredible Hulks! Interestingly enough the heavy gelatinous substance locks in the radiation thereby making the Blob harmless in that respect. That is unless of course you’re sucked in and manage to escape. Then it might be cancer time! Supernatural Scientists and Cryptozoologists are studying the mystery of how the radiation is contained along with discovering what is the catalyst of this sapient Blog creation process.
The Disturbing Eyes Of The Blob Monster!
The oddest part of the modern Blob birth process is the formation of huge non-glowing googly eyes. Some say eyes are the windows of the soul and must form on all intelligent beings. A God-programmed bridge between the laws of physics and metaphysics. The personality of the former human, or whatever the being was, is transformed to an almost innocent child-like state within the simple mental matrix of the Blob. So they are usually not a threat for the most part. However, people, animals, and things can get caught within their thick jelly body thereby suffocating innocent victims to death rather quickly! If they sink too deep within the Blob the pressure can crush them as well! The digestive assimilation of virtually any substance via a pressurized acidic breakdown increases the size and strength of the Blob. Unfortunately, since it’s a metaphysical matter being it responds to the strongest metaphysical energy organisms, aka humans, and various supernatural beings. Although, it can exist indefinitely without consuming anything.
The Blob Speaks
Communication is difficult at first as they become used to their new mind and body. Without a mouth their thoughts send out vibrations through their goo that send odd echoes forth. Eventually, the sounds will evolve into a muffled voice. If the Blob lives long enough it acquires shape-shifting abilities that allow it to form a mouth along with a tongue, and vocal cord equivalents to create clear complete speech. Usually, the voice is rather cute, high-pitched, and squeaky sounding until their shape-shifting skills advance sufficiently. A rare few may even sprout small arms and after being alive for a century or more they could very well reacquire a human-like bipedal form. Despite this, they will still always be a green glowing gelatinous form and the giant googly eyes seem to be unalterable for reasons unknown.
The Immortal Blob
[Ad]The Blob is theoretically Immortal unless it refuses to consume anything or absorb any further radiation. Over time sliding about surfaces causes gel to slough off, and reduce its size. This of course then reduces its mental capacity which threatens to reduce it to a zombie-like form that will begin absorbing anything in sight! In addition, radioactive decay occurs giving it a plausible life expectancy of at least several thousands of years. Periodic exposure to gamma rays will ensure immortality and maintain its strength and size. The government has been known to capture Blobs for use in the clean-up of dangerous radiation.
Environmental Clean-Up Courtesy Of The Blob?
A Blob can actually absorb nuclear waste and help the environment! They’re the reason our nuclear waste problems aren’t 100 times worse than they already are. Some say Mother Nature, Goddess Gaia, had a hand in this type of Blob’s creation as a countermeasure for humankind’s radioactive ravages! Unfortunately, too much nuclear waste absorption can tend to make them aggressive and alter their normally chipper demeanor. This is just another reason to steer clear of nuclear waste dumps! The telltale signs of a dangerous Blob are specs of brown amid its green glittering body and movement toward you at ramming speed! The only known repellent for this Blob is Iodine. Otherwise, run for your life, and pray he or she doesn’t encase you within its slime-ridden gooeyness! Ewwwwwwww!
The Blob Homeworld
See Also: Star Jelly | Slithersucker
