Paranormal Defense Agency Archives - Mystic Paranormal News

The Chicken Nuggets Werewolf

Posted on September 30, 2021 by Paranormal Newsdesk — No Comments ↓

It was New Year’s Day 2010 when 25-year-old Melodi Dushane showed up at the drive-thru of her local Toledo, Ohio McDonalds. She had a huge hunger for Chicken McNuggets but unfortunately for everyone, it was still breakfast time. The McDonald’s employees tried to explain to her that they had no chicken nuggets to give her until lunchtime. In the video, the man says it’s 10:30 AM but he was so shocked by the woman’s behavior he meant to say they don’t serve chicken nuggets before 10:30 AM. Clearly, it’s dark out so it was actually somewhere around 5:30 AM. This sent her into a rabid rage in which she tried to force her way into the drive-thru window while punching employees. She ended up smashing the window and sped away in her car. Police eventually tracked her down and she spent 60 days in jail along with having to pay for the drive-thru window repair.

Werewolf Exposed?

The original released surveillance video from the incident didn’t have audio. The video at the top of this page finally allows you to hear the audio that was censored by the US Paranormal Defense Agency. In it, you can hear the angry woman making growling sounds like a crazed animal. She also mentions taking her true form. We now know that she’s a Werewolf who had a deep craving for meat! Something not uncommon in the carnivorous werewolf species. The enhanced photo above shows the tell-tale sign of glowing orange eyes that indicates a werewolf in its human form.

Alcohol Intoxication Used To Cover Up The Werewolf

The Mcnugget madness was blamed on the woman being drunk but she was completely sober. She had consumed alcohol on New Year’s Eve but werewolves quickly metabolize it and they never get drunk. This is a classic US Paranormal Defense Agency cover-up technique. New Years Eve December 31st, 2009 was the time of the Yule Moon. This Full Moon is under the control of Saint Nicholas and The Spirit Of Christmas. It causes werewolves to transform into gentle fluffy white wolves or there is no transformation at all. Generally, those who have been werewolves longer tend to not transform under this Moon. However, those advanced werewolves who control their transformations can still turn into regular werewolves. It takes a lot more effort and often they are halted at wolfman or woman form.

Brave Member Of The Paranormal Community

The wacky woman was known to be a member of a werewolf pack who taught her how to control herself. Yet she was still a novice and gave in to her demonic DNA rather than letting the righteousness of the Yule Moon guide her. All werewolves face fighting the urges of this DNA while in human form. At present, she has mellowed and accepted the responsibility of the power she wields. She works bravely with the supernatural community to fight the forces of darkness while saving many innocent lives! Don’t judge her by this one incident!🐺

Milwaukee Manticore On The Loose!

Posted on July 27, 2015 by Paranormal Newsdesk — No Comments ↓

Is The Milwaukee Lion Something Very Supernatural In Nature?

For the past week Milwaukee residents have alarmingly reported a “cat like” creature roaming about their cityscape. Police, and State Nature Resource agents have attempted to capture this elusive feline without success despite it’s blatant diurnal prancing about the urban streets. The only captured image is a blurry cell phone video. Zoological experts have theorized it’s either a young African Lion, or a mature cougar on the prowl. Some witnesses have indicated there was a smaller cat traveling with the larger animal. So far there are no official reports of any injuries or fatalities by this wild animal.

In reality what we have here is a massive cover-up by the US Paranormal Defense Agency, the top secret supernatural defense arm of the US Department Of Defense. US PDA agents, commonly known as Men In Black, have been spotted lurking about the Milwaukee area by private paranormal professionals trained to spot these nefarious figures. Our insider sources in the PDA indicate they took three college students into custody for suspicion of opening a brief porthole to the Underworld, and magically summoning a Manticore. It’s suspected they are amateur Wizards who perhaps materialized a set of Manticore siblings. One older sibling and baby Manticore. Manticores are monstrous demonic creatures that appear lion like with dragon wings, and a scorpions tail. However young ones appear as mere wild cats. Also unlike fully mature Manticores who can only surface during a New Moon, a younger one can roam about in full Moonlight, and Sunlight. They are also much more docile, and will not rabidly slaughter anything that moves. Unfortunately they have a thirst for live meat which they heartily devour whole including the bones. This makes it hard to know what animal or human prey they may have claimed for themselves! It’s entirely possible that recently missing people in the Milwaukee area could have been eaten alive by the larger Manticore. The larger beast would naturally feed the baby Manticore.
[AdsWithin]
The supernatural community has no faith in the Paranormal Defense Agency, and their blasphemous bureaucracy. In light of that several paranormal investigators, and supernatural warriors from around the country have converged on Milwaukee to capture, and/or kill the Manticore(s) themselves. Although the hope is to capture them alive for Cryptozoological research. Mystic Investigations has sent our very own Executive Vice-President Drake Alexander to Milwaukee since his personal skill set is perfect for hunting down these dangerous supernatural creature. In addition he is being accompanied by our Crytozoologist Dr. Ashley Abercrombie who is an expert in Manticores, and all supernatural species. In the coming days as we approach the Full Blue Moon it’s quite possible that Werewolves will finish the young Manticores off if nobody else does.

Angelic Cat Saves Boy From Devil Dog Hound Of Hell

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Paranormal Newsdesk — No Comments ↓

A young Bakersfield, California boy was saved from a savage dog attack by the heroic family cat. However, upon further paranormal investigations we find that the dog was actually possessed by a low level demon. Such animal possessions are generally perpetuated by new demons practicing for eventual human possession. Unfortunately, all animals are open to demonic influence but usually animals cared for by humans have some protection courtesy of the caretakers human soul. Just as humans can become vulnerable to possession so can their animals if the human owner in question is in a weakened mental state, or is actually evil themselves.

The Hell Hound

A local Enochian Witch named Gertrude, who communes with Angels, verified that an Angel had randomly been in the general vicinity when it sensed a child was in danger. As it flew upon the scene in non-corporeal form, the Angel made the split second decision to possess the family cat, and pounce upon the vicious demonic dog in the process of mauling the innocent child. Seconds later the Angel left the cat while the demon remained within the dog for fear of being directly exposed to the Angel. The boy suffered minor injuries requiring some stitches. Clearly, under the circumstance, things could have been a lot worse.

The demonic dog was taken away by animal control who quickly realized something wasn’t right with the animal. Perhaps it was the glowing red eyes that gave the demon away. Luckily one of the dog catchers was a devout Christian who immediately utilized the crucifix around their neck to wrangle the malevolent mutt into custody. Within hours of being caged at a local animal control facility, two men in black who identified themselves as Federal investigators from an unidentified agency, whisked the dog away to parts unknown. We believe them to be agents of the top-secret PDA (US Paranormal Defense Agency). There’s no word on the current status of the dog but most likely he is being studied by government Cryptozoologists.