We have concluded our investigation of the miracle in the Fort Worth, Texas McDonald’s in which 24 year old Jestin Joseph attempted to allegedly murder several people but inexplicably failed. On September 25, 2013 he pulled out his gun in the McDonald’s restaurant, and began squeezing the trigger while pointing it directly at employees, and customers as witnessed in surveillance video footage. Only a clicking sound could be heard as the gun refused to fire for the would be robber. However when he went outside he was able to get a shot off. He then re-entered the establishment, and attempted to fire at random people again but the gun re-jammed. Despite firing the trigger multiple times not one shot was let loose inside the building. Many are hailing it a miracle of God but there was also the chance of other mystical forces along with the possibility that this was simply the parallel Universe where the gun refused to fire due to a roll of random cosmological dice.
After a thorough paranormal investigation we found that one of the customers in that McDonald’s was a special witch who practices the rare enchanting art of Enochian Magic. Enochian magic calls upon sympathetic Angels for mystical powers rather than the usual calling of Earthly Gods considered Pagan by some. The witch in question, who wished to remain anonymous, had been involved in an intense Angelic summoning ritual mere minutes before the incident when she decided to take a break down at Mickey D’s. So she explains that Angels were all around her from this ritual, and she prayed for them to intervene. Normally Angels only intervene upon orders from Heaven. All within that McDonald’s were safe from harm as a temporary Angelic protection spell was imbued upon the entire building.
This was verified by a local supernatural investigations team that descended upon the scene later, after the restaurant closed, to detect residual Ultraviolet radiation signatures. This unique UV radiation is given off by Angels manifesting in our reality. Most non-corporeal entities, such as ghosts, or poltergeists, give off electromagnetic energy in the radio, or microwave range. This is why Angels can be seen by birds, fish, incests, and some other animals but not by humans. If anyone had been harassed by a fly, or some other bug, in that place it’s a fair bet the fly ceased it’s assault at that point in the presence of the Angels. There have been reports of killer bee attacks halting while the bees are mesmerized by the Angelic UV EMF light.
The alleged robber Joseph currently faces five charges of aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon and is locked away on a $500,000 bond. He would be facing far worse had the Angels not jacked his gun up!
