How Do You Repel A Zombie?

Zombie Protection Herbs
Zombie RepellentWe’ve heard about a plethora of ways to repel vampires, and werewolves. These include various herbs such as garlic, vervain, and wolfsbane. However we’ve never heard anything about Zombies. Naturally since zombies are generally non-demonic religious artifacts have no effect on them unlike vampires & werewolves. Like most metaphysical menaces Mother Nature provides a defense for humans. After extensive research we are proud to present our findings that will finally protect you, and your family against the rotting corpses of the Walking Dead.  Not surprisingly both protective plants have a noxious stink just as zombies themselves smell like living hell itself!  Zombies use their sense of smell to tell the difference between tasty humans, and their living dead brothers since zombies ironically loathe dead flesh.  Unlike living, or freshly dead flesh, it doesn’t quell the hunger of the zombie virus. When the virus is well fed it rewards the zombie by delaying it’s inevitable decay. No longer do you have to hope you can take down every approaching zombie with a gun, a sharp implement, fire, or even strong acid.  Here are the plants that will save your life during a zombie apocalypse:

  • Stinking Nightshade, also known as Henbane. (Hyoscyamus Niger)  An excellent herb to grow around your home or zombie bunker.  The herb can be worn on your clothing or crushed in a satchel for personal protection.  You can also hang cut plants over your windows, and doors.
  • Purple Passion, also known as Velvet Plant. (Gynura Aurantiaca).  This is an excellent house plant that can be placed near windows, and doorways for home zombie defense. You can also wear the plants leaves on your clothing to act as a personal deterrent for the dead rising from their graves. Purple Passion can also grow outside as ground cover.  In a post-apocalyptic zombie scenario grow this around your fortified compound since it can spread all about leaving no open spots for zombies to stagger through.  In this case you’d want to live somewhere without winter.  Of course thankfully zombies will literally freeze in place when the temperature drops to below freezing.  This is due to the fact that they have no body heat so the water in their tissues freezes solid. Unfortunately arid desert regions give us desiccated zombies without any moisture. If they manage to wander into a below freezing zone they won’t freeze in such cases!

When using these plants on yourself prepare to smell and repel both zombies, and humans. The point is to stay alive, and worry about your social life later on.  Odds are you will have none in the midst of a zombie virus pandemic!  All the plants listed above are poisonous to humans and shouldn’t be ingested or placed directly on skin unless magically prepared by a certified witch, wizard, warlock, or sorcerer.  The only way to know if they’re for real is to watch them prepare the potion, and see unexplainable shimmering luminescence take place in the solution for at least a few seconds.  This is evidence of a metaphysical energy exchange that is the heart of magic. Naturally to be safe have them drink a sample first!

Now you can enter a well deserved slumber after a day of slaying living dead drones with your Purple Passion plant on your nightstand, and a bunch of Stinking Nightshade tied together hanging over your windows, and doors.  This is a lot more pleasant than smearing yourself with rotted zombie, or weeks old human corpse remains.  Yes if you have nothing else this works as well, and will allow you to walk among the living dead without worry of being eaten alive!

Crystals & Gemstones That Protect Against Living Dead Zombies!
Zombie GraveBesides plants Mother Earth often provides us with crystals, and gemstones for use as paranormal protection.  These are generally not as potent as herbal solutions but can get the job done under the right circumstances. Even if that means a combination of stones used in unison. Our zombie research has field tested limited success with wearing a combination of Granite (From A Gravestone Only!), Apatite, and Malachite.  Most likely as a necklace or bracelet.  The more you can wear the better! Each must be in equal proportions to work. Granite is the bedrock of Mother Earth, and stuff that mighty mountains are made of. When made into gravestones, and planted at the site of deceased person it acquires mystical properties related to the dead. Apatite has properties related to the mind, and ironically weight loss since zombies are all about gorging on humans! Malachite is a stone known to ease the transition between life, and death. Especially if a person has had a hellish life, and ghost formation is a real possibility.

When placed together these three stones create an anti-zombie trinity!  Not as potent as the plants mentioned above but good enough to delay the zombies so you can make your escape!  Certainly adding these stones to your other zombie countermeasures will amplify your efforts, and support your survival in a dark damned apocalyptic world of zombie despair! Feel free to reply to this article with a comment if you know of any other zombie repellents!

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10 thoughts on “How Do You Repel A Zombie?

  1. This is so interesting. It’s rather freaky.. because all these plants are growing around my house wild. Is that a coincidence? When I was raking the weeks out for my steps. I noticed the black berry looking weed. I felt bad to kill it. I though oh damn.. Greg said, oh well. I had a feeling it was an important plant of nature for birds. Thank you for this important information. I’ll make sure to grow more around my house and keep some inside.

    The other night I had a nightmare that there was a zombie by the vidock’ trane bridge. A father and his two daughters were walking through there and they came upon a mean zombie. The dad told his girls to run the other way… as they ran they could hear him screaming. They began crying daddy’… I had to watch the entire gory ordeal. As if it was a psychic vision. I hope not. 🙁 This seriously scares me. At least these plants are around my home. Thank you!

    • Perhaps Mother Nature, aka Goddess Gaia, is looking out for you. The zombie threat is omnipresent, and they are often the tools of malicious people. I guess you can rest a bit easier if someone decides to send a zombie after you. We just got a whole bunch of potted purple passion plants for around the manor and Stinking Nightshade grows about outside. It grows naturally about the Enchanted Woodland in which we live.

      Mean Zombie? Are you saying that maybe there’s gentle misunderstood zombies who fight against the forces of evil? 🙂 All zombies are simply mindless machines of terror. It’s a functioning body devoid of a soul. The closest we have to a good zombie is our very own half zombie Ashley Ambercrombie.

      You should be ready to do battle if your vision comes true. Maybe you can save the dad. If you don’t want to wield a shot gun or sword then break down the plants, and mix them in holy water. Then load up a super soaker, and blast those zombies. They’ll go staggering in the other direction, and hopefully some of their flesh will rot off thereby decreasing their lifespan.

  2. Not to be paranoid. But if the sheets hit the fan.. 😉 I want to be prepared for the worse. A super soaker is an awesome idea. lol I could go over to the Catholic Church and ask them for some holy water. Seriously hope it never happens. If it does I think most people will die of shock and taken by surprise. With all these video games of zombies you’d think we’d be prepared for something. 😉 No all zombies are evil mindless beasts. Except for Vampires. They are charming. I prefer to die by the devanare charms of the vampire than the stenchy zombie. Thanks so much for this information.

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  4. lol okay .. “Gottchya” 😉 Rodger Dodge. Over and out! 😉 Xavier.. I’m scared shiotlless here. Since I didn’t ever believe in zombies and now.. my beliefs are shaken. Not a fun world to live in. If it happens I’ll have to try and kill super man. 😉 I rather be a vampire and take em on head on …. Charles or Drake please just do me a favor and bite me. I don’t think I can defeat them.. not if what i’ve seen is true!

    • All of us at Mystic Investigations have dealt with zombies. You just need to keep a cool head as you aim for their head using either a rifle, or a sword. Of course Drake can just rip their head off or punch right into their brains. Although he’s disgusted by Zombie blood as all vampires are. Rebecca usually blasts them away with some form of magical energy.

      Also let us not forget that you have Werewolf DNA containing the powerful Lycanthrope virus which means you can’t ever become a zombie. Most supernatural beings can’t because the zombie virus is weak compared to their body chemistry. The Werewolf virus would neutralize it but you would be sick for several hours if bitten in human form. In wolf form the neutralization would be instant with no ill effects. Of course you still need to worry about being over powered by a large hoard of zombies. In Werewolf form however you should be able to take down several zombies at a time. Biting them would transfer the Werewolf virus to them, and they’d quickly turn to ash.

      What Happens If A Zombie Bites A Werewolf? http://mysticinvestigations.com/paranormal/?p=747

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