How Anyone Can Be Superhuman Via Birthday Wish!

A previously unknown and well hidden clause in the fine paranormal print of the Supernatural Secrecy Pact addresses human free will in the department of Superhuman abilities. Specifically enhanced strength, speed, agility, senses, intelligence, health immunity, and immortality!  However this doesn’t mean invincibility. You can still be killed! It states that Super Humanity can be achieved if one wishes to be “Superhuman” on their birthday at the exact time of their birth down to the second. Obviously it might not be easy to calculate the second you were born but you can try wishing through the entire minute.

The Birthday Superpowers Ritual

Unfortunately The Powers That Be didn’t make it even that easy!  While wishing you must also bury yourself naked under soil up to your neck.  It specifically says,”under soil even with Earth”.  In essence simulating your grave to metaphysically bring your birth, and death into a connective loop. Also while wearing your figurative birthday suit.  Plausibly sand would be okay as well if you happen to be on a beach. In addition both your Father and Mother must be present standing at each end of your mock grave. They are where your life force came from. One at your head and the other at your feet.  No preference in position is given.  If one or both aren’t alive then an important personal belonging at those positions counts. In that case you also need your closest relative present as a witness. For most that would be a sibling. You can’t choose this option if your parents are alive. Yes this is embarrassing but if you want super powers then you must make the tough choices!

The Conditions Required To Be Superhuman

In addition it must either be raining or you have to simulate it by having someone sprinkle water on yourself while in the ground. There must also be a flame within your field of view.  A torch or even a small candle should do the trick. Most importantly of all you must truly believe you can achieve immortal superhuman status.  Have belief in the power of your higher dimensional soul that is being accessed in this ritualistic birthday spell.  A spell that appears to have been suggested for placement in the Supernatural Secrecy Pact by none other than Goddess Gaia Mother Earth.  Since all the signers of the Pact agreed to it, even evil humans can do it.  Unfortunately demons were included in the Pact along with angels, gods, and other supernaturals so everything must be equal!

The Result Of The Birthday Ritual

Apparently if your superhuman birthday wish comes true all your Chakra channels are cleansed, and opened completely allowing for a maximum free flow of metaphysical energy into your biological body.  This will bolster your health, increase muscle mass, and density, and ultra stimulate the brain just to name a few benefits.  The Clause states the ageing process will halt but it will not reverse. However you will probably look younger due to some of the cellular healing, and detoxification that will take place. If you’re a child it seems as if your aging would halt as well so you better not try until you’re at least happy with your appearance as an adult. Unless of course you want to be a perpetual child. It’s also assumed deadly diseases would be cured due to the mention of immunity.  The clause states you can only be killed by mortal wounds with no mention of illnesses.  So you will most likely never get sick ever again! In addition Injuries, and handicaps would be healed upon becoming Superhuman.

Psychokinetic Powers Possible

Since so much metaphysical energy will be flowing within you it’s likely you’ll develop psychic abilities such as sensing danger afoot, and getting premonitions as well.  You may also acquire psychokinetic abilities. Especially if you specifically train to develop them.  This means you could actually fly like Superman, or access additional strength, speed, etc. to be like Superman or Supergirl, since standard superhuman abilities aren’t anywhere near that level. Still, you’d be able to take on a street gang with ease!  With your increased intelligence you could easily master martial arts if you plan to go into superhero crime fighting. Those of you planning to become super villains should keep in mind that Mystic Investigations and other paranormal crime fighting organizations would seek to take you down with extreme prejudice!

We didn’t list the entire spell and ritual here as the Supernatural Secrecy Pact states that a human must find a certified copy of the pact on their own for the spell to work. See Other Magic Spells…

What Is Michael Myers And Is He Real?

Are the Halloween Movies Based On A True Story?

Michael Myers is one of the most prolific supernatural serial killers in motion picture history! After conducting a thorough paranormal investigation we have discovered the shocking truth that a deranged superhuman serial killer exists which was the basis for the Halloween films.  As is the case with many supernatural occurrences the government covers up the truth and suppresses any media from reporting on the facts for many reasons including the prevention of public panic. Virtually all evidence related to the real Michael Myers has vanished into thin air!

The serial killers true name was Stanley Stiers. Although both Stiers and Myers have the same middle name of Audrey. Much of the 1912 born Stanley’s original killing spree took place in 1920’s Iowa rather than 1970’s Illinois. Quite a bit of the “Halloween” franchise was fictional for the most part. Particularly the explanation for his seemingly supernatural strength, endurance, and stealth along with his refusal to die. Halloween 6 The Curse Of Michael Myers seems to indicate that his paranormal powers are the result of some Druid Curse Of Thorn perpetrated by a cult. Interestingly enough there was a cult dedicated to worshiping Stiers but he killed them off for no reason. Anytime another one pops up he tends to dispatch them with extreme prejudice. I guess the guy is a serious loner!

In reality, Stanley’s dark journey into living diabolical damnation began as a child deeply abused by both his drunken parents after they found out he was not their biological child. Although before that there was an underlying resentment that his conception out of wedlock prompted the couples unhappy marriage. Their real child was taken home by another couple, and all three died in a car crash on the way home from the hospital.  It was found out later a malevolent nurse would switch babies in the nursery just for sick kicks. The nurse was in jail for a time but once she got out she was later killed by Stanley. Stan’s abusive adopted parents had another baby. A girl named Susie who they purposely treated like a princess.  She later became abusive toward Stanley as well.

On Halloween Eve 1923 11-year-old Stanley was told once again he would not be allowed to trick o treat the next night.  For his entire childhood, he was not allowed to trick o treat yet his sister was. Hours after his sister got home from a Halloween party Stanley finally snapped at Midnight, whipped out a butcher knife, and took down everyone in the house including the family dog Mr.Snookers. Snookers was known as the terror of the neighborhood so Stanley did everyone a favor on that front. It’s unknown what Stiers did for most of that Halloween day but later that evening he finally went trick o treating for the first time.  Amid the costumed chaos, he killed a number of his bullying classmates.  Some much older, and bigger than him as well.  In one instance he invaded the home of a classmate taking out the entire family single-handedly. Survivors say he had superhuman strength as he tossed full grown men around like rag dolls before impaling them with his big butcher knife. Stan was captured at sunrise the next day when he was found gleefully eating candy on a swing at the school playground.  Federal agents promptly swooped in to scurry him away to a secret mental institution for further study while suppressing all records of the Halloween night events.

The government wanted to figure out what could cause a kid to commit such heinous Crazy Mikey Myersacts with such ferocious power!  Plenty of kids had been horrifically abused but none had done anything remotely like Stanley at the time.  For 13 years they looked into what made him tick.  Demonic possession was immediately ruled out.  After being a paranormal lab rat there was no evidence of the supernatural.  Then on Halloween night 1936 at the age of 24, he snapped again when some immature orderlies at the federal facility harassed him. Apparently they were annoyed they had to work on Halloween and it always bothered them that Stanley never spoke while seemingly ignoring them. Stiers repaid their idiocy by snapping their necks.  At 6′ 4″ weighing in at 260 pounds his supernatural strength now made more sense.  However, his strength was even more phenomenal culminating in the parking lot where he lifted a car above his head to take out some Federal agents standing in his way. And that was after they blasted him with several rounds of bullets!

Stanley was never re-captured, and reports of his continued murders still pop up across the country.  Horrifying incidents such as Halloween 2013 in Mexico City and in 2017 in Palo Alto, California. Stiers apparently will only travel on foot, and all his slayings have been on North American soil.  Clearly, at age 106 he should not be able to be such a hellish killing machine! This indicates he is immortal if the fact that nobody can kill him wasn’t evidence enough. Government agents of the US Paranormal Defense Agency have been pursuing him since their inception in the late 70’s.  They consider him number nine on their Top Ten Most Wanted ListSorcerer Dimitri Diablo, Halloween Queen Shala, Santa Claus, and Slender Man are on that list as well. We have no idea why they put Santa, and Shala on there. They haven’t done anything wrong!

What Manner Of Supernatural Being Is Stanley?

Stanley is not any type of supernatural being we can identify. Most likely he could be classified as a Soulless Superhuman. We believe his mind descended so far into the depth’s of dark deranged despair that his sub-conscious cut his mind off from his higher dimensional soul. There is actually evidence that the sub-conscious connection to one’s soul acts as a control mechanism so humans aren’t able to access the full potential of mind over matter. Mind over matter comes from our sentient minds interacting with the pure non-corporeal conscious matrix of our reality.  Stiers free of this constraint can carry forth his mindless mission of Halloween killing sprees for all eternity as he wills his body to survive every attack including the aging process.  It’s unknown where he is for the other 364 days of the year. [Also See Michael Myers Vs A Vampire]

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The Complete Halloween Michael Myers Movie Collection

The Halloween Serial Killer

It’s been suggested that he might believe he only has super serial killing powers on Halloween. A belief that stays in place due to his child like mind stunted by a lack of normal social growth. Therefore doesn’t attempt anything on the other days.  He may very well just lie in a bed, or grave dormant for most of the year.  Or he could be the mute guy serving you your nachos at the local Taco Bell.  Various psychics, mystics, seers, and others with second sight can only get a general fix on him on Halloween.  The rest of the year he’s somehow mystically cloaked. This is one reason the government has been unable to capture him thus far. Mystic Investigations had heard rumors about Stanley Stiers for years but didn’t know the full extent of his story until our investigation.  If we were to run into him we’re confident we could capture, and contain him.  Perhaps even reconnect his soul with his mind.  Then utilize paranormal psychological techniques to bring back his sanity, and humanity. Of course, before being rehabilitated he might hyper-age and turn to ash!

With all this being said deeply gifted psychics, seers, and mystics have sensed other Michael Myers in Parallel Universes. Mad Mickey’s more related to the theatrical versions. This deranged master of deadly darkness is everywhere! [Twitter]  Watch The Halloween Movies Online | Michael Myers Inadvertently Saves A Woman From A Vampire | Michael Myers vs The Look-See Monster |

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Who Are The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s?

The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s are a famous team of American paranormal warriors that originated in 1830’s Texas. These magnificent bastards really came into their own in the Wild West of the late 1800’s. In the 21st century they’re best known for talking down the infamous Jason Voorhees of Friday The 13th fame back in 1999. The Metanatural’s are mostly made up of talented humans, superhuman’s, and even some paranormal beings. They are largely comprised of the descendants of past members with minimal outside recruitment into their tight knit ranks. The Leader Is Jake Crockett, a descendant of the fantastical folk hero frontiersman Davy Crockett. Davy himself was considered the first Ten Gallon as he became the natural leader of the then Secret Fraternal Society Of Frontiersmen, aka SFSF when spoken about in the presence of non-members.

The Secret Fraternal Society Of Frontiersmen

The SFSF’s main objective was taking down the ever growing supernatural scourge in Texas. The group was very small and localized until after the Civil War when the great plains land rush seriously increased the human and paranormal population of the wild west. The Secret Fraternal Society Of Frontiersmen merged with various other organizations, mainly made up of cowboys battling the forces of evil. It was only then they finally became The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s. The term Ten Gallon Hat only came into mainstream use in 1925 but their secretive organization first utilized the term in 1872. The late 1800’s into the early 1900’s was considered the heyday of the grand group as they cleaned up the old west of unwanted vampires, werewolves, zombies, poltergeists, dark magical practitioners, and all manner of metaphysical malevolence. Thanks to them we only have stories of cowboys, gun fighters, gold miners, ranchers and Native Americans rather than paranormal pandemonium.

The Take Down Of Jason Voorhees

Somewhere in a secluded Texas woodland a lake side summer camp experienced the horror of Jason Voorhees on Friday, August 13, 1999. The various residents of the summer camp foolishly, as a joke, renamed their lake “Crystal Lake” after having a Friday The 13th Movie Marathon. It certainly caught the real Jason’s attention and a horrifying killing spree took place there after. Thankfully, the most talented psychic member of the Ten Gallon’s caught a vision of Jason. That’s when the supernatural specialists swooped in before too much carnage took place. Jason had slayed two camp counselors and a teen camper before finally being taken down with extreme prejudice!

Metanatural Warriors Deal With The Crazed Voorhees Cult

The Metanatural’s battled several Voorhees Cult Members, including the Dark Witch Cult Leader Secilia. These fanatical freaks were all willing to die for their pseudo-god Jason! By the end of the night Voorhee’s zombified corpse was beheaded and doused in holy oil. For good measure it was also lit ablaze with holy fire under the supervised blessing of a powerful Priest. They also performed an exorcism to finally target the patron Demon behind Jason. Immediately after Jason’s apparent death the US Paranormal Defense Agency swooped in to do the usual supernatural scrubbing of the media, local authorities, and any enchanted evidence left behind.

Current Status Of The Ten Gallon’s

The Metanatural’s are some of the most wanted individuals in the evil side of the supernatural community in the Western United States. You build up a lot of enemies when you battle the forces of darkness relentlessly for nearly 150 years! They keep a very low profile when possible and have a hidden headquarters in the heart of Texas. You can’t just go visit their Texan stronghold in the same way you can visit our offices here at Mystic Investigations. They still mainly do battle with blasphemous behemoths in the old west but travel to other areas every so often. After learning of Jason’s physical resurrection on Friday, November 13th, 2015 they released the following short statement to the supernatural community:

“We will hunt the blasphemous bastard Jason Voorhees down like the mangy man eating dog that he is! Then we’re coming for his demented Voorhees Cult next!  We destroyed him once before, and we’ll do it again! We will travel to the ends of the Earth if need be! The Ten Gallon Hat Metanaturals will not rest until Jason goes straight to Hell!”

Unfortunately, thus far Jason has eluded them on the various Friday The 13th’s he’s surfaced to deal his deadly blows to youthful humankind! Thankfully, the Ten Gallon’s, and the rest of us in the paranormal community, have kept his carnage to a minimum. We’ve also drastically reduced the reach of the vexing Voorhees Cult and their malicious machinations throughout the years in master Jason’s name! Outside of Voorhee’s Hunting The Ten Gallon’s have been at the forefront of keeping Texas safe from things that go bump in the dark shadows. There they have been known to work closely with the far less secretive Texas Supernatural Anti-Terror Society.

Mystic Investigations Link To The Ten Gallon Hat Metanaturals

Mystic Investigations Executive Vice-President and 700 something vampire Drake Alexander has had the pleasure of fighting alongside the Metanaturals every so often. Particularly back in the Old West. Drake is one of the few non-members allowed to aid in their quest to cleanse all things diabolical from west of the Mississippi. They’ve offered him membership a number of times but Drake likes to keep his options global. Through Drake we’ve had a few cooperative efforts with the Metanaturals in eradicating various paranormal threats. Hopefully one, or all of us together, will finally wipe the Earth clean of the Voorhees menace once and for all!

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