Rowdy Ransomware Roust
Tuesday morning started off with a bang when we were unable to access any of our computer files! Then we got an ominous email from a horrifying hacker holding our digital documents for ransom. We were a victim of the infamous Ransomware! A complex computer virus that locks files via an encryption code. This gives a hacker leverage to extort money from individuals, and businesses. If we didn’t pay $2.2 million dollars the heinous hacker said our files would be deep-sixed into oblivion, and beyond! This includes our precious paranormal database of sensitive supernatural secrets amassed over the last 10 years. On top of that, we have our resident vampire Executive VP Drake Alexander’s 700 years of personal journals painstakingly scanned into digital form. Of course, he at least still has the original texts at his stately forest manor.
Conventional hacking is impossible in our paranormal crime fighting facility since our resident witch Rebecca Abernathy has incorporated multi-layered magical encryption with the aid of our computer whiz kid, and Cyborg Zack Powers. Unfortunately, it seems we were compromised by a Voodoo Master who called himself Voodoo Victor. He apparently used a unique computer cyber-curse voodoo virus he paranormally patented to partake in pestering people for exorbitant extortion money! His emails demanding mad money were seriously smug and so full of pride bragging about how he beat the marvelous Mystic Investigations! In fact, our angry replies took the ransom from the original $1.3 million to the final $2.2 million figure! Our bad! 🙂
Tracking The Hacker
Fortunately, those replies and responses from this filthy fiend allowed Rebecca, Zack, and our Psychic Julia Hathaway to locate his wretched ransomware rear! A method of GPS map scrying, and supernatural server tracking did the trick! We’ll give him credit. He was smart bouncing the emails off 13 different computer servers around the world. He led us to believe he was in Nigeria because we were supposed to wire the money to a Nigerian bank account. However, we ultimately found the blasphemous bastard was in the Bayou of New Orleans, Louisiana. No surprise since it’s nearly the top-ranked Voodoo practitioner location in the world, second only to Haiti! Once we knew where the son of a bitch was we toned down our responses and said we were in the midst of raising the funds. We had the MysticJet prepared for take-off at our local airport here in Woodland Springs, Colorado. Within a few hours, we were in the air headed to Louisiana for some sweet revenge!
We landed at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport at about 3 PM Central Time. We then promptly rented some SUV’s, and raced to Cajun Bayou country! As we entered the