Hi I’m Rebecca Abernathy, Mystic Investigations Vice-President In Charge Of Witchcraft. As mentioned in a previous blog post, our team was hired by a clandestine Anti-Illuminati Billionaire to infiltrate the infamous, yet once secret, Bilderberg Conference, which is code-named the 2012 Palm Tree Conference taking place in Virginia. The Bilderberg Group is an arm of the Illuminati, aka wealthy elite plutocrats who control the governments of the world, and act as a directorate for the global shadow government. This shadow government, aka New World Order, is run by billionaires, royalty, and various supernatural beings. Our entire team had booked rooms well in advance last year but everyone in the hotel was kicked out to maintain the secrecy of the Illuminati meeting.
Thankfuly, we did line up jobs and entered into magical disguises courtesy of my witchcraft glamouring. Both I and my associate, Drake Alexander, Mystic Investigations Senior Vice-President, and vampire extraordinaire, was tasked with specifically gathering intel at a sub-conference called the SRA conference. The SRA meeting was a special meeting just for the paranormal beings who are a part of the New World Order. The following is my account of our run-in with the notoriously evil, and diabolically dangerous Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo who is jockeying for position in the struggle for Universal power. The Illuminati extended an olive branch to Diablo because of his dangerous power, and hatred of the Illuminati and the Devil they worship. He wants to be God of the Earth, Hell, and even the very Universe itself. No one human has ever amassed so much power on their own before, and the delusions of grandeur have created an unprecedented God complex within the twisted yet highly intelligent mind of the demented Sorcerer.
We all arrived at the hotel on May 30th, 2012, and found that everyone was being asked to leave the hotel. We then re-entered our Mystic RV, and I magically glamoured everyone with a new appearance. All to ensure we wouldn’t be recognized by the hotel staff, or anyone at the conference who we may have had dealings with in the past. This included Dimitri Diablo who our paranormal team met on a mission in India recently. We then showed up for the jobs we had lined up in the hotel so we could surveil the Illuminati in what we call Operation Palm Tree. Drake and I were waiters at the supernatural meeting which included vampire royalty, reptilian extraterrestrials, Lycan royalty, various practitioners of magic, and even an actual biological demon who was said to represent the Devil himself. We steered clear of the demon because I feared he would see through our glamours. However, the evil we felt from him, and the fear it instilled in us was nothing compared to the sinister Dimitri Diablo.
At some point, Diablo entered the conference hall, and silence came over the entire room. The demon and Diablo had a stare-down that lasted for a few minutes but the demon backed away, and Dimitri sat down in his flamboyant glittering gold sorcerer robe with purple silk fringes. Oddly enough the first thing he ordered was a Diet Coke. Rather unusual for an immortal to order a diet soda. Drake took his order, and he was deeply disturbed when he looked into his cold coal black bloodshot eyes. It takes a lot to scare a vampire, and Drake was definitely rattled by the horrific being. The same thing happened to me when I took his order for more Diet Coke and a blood-rare goat steak. I’m a powerful witch but I knew he could crush me in a second if he wanted to. Just being in the same room as him made my skin crawl. He truly was the quintessence of evil on Earth!
Diablo spent most of the time arguing with everyone including the human Illuminati members who wanted him to join their ranks. Despite the heated disagreements, the fear he instilled in them kept the confrontations to a respectable level. He seemed to think he was invited to lead them as his personal minions of darkness but they all had big egos and God complexes. Finally, he told everyone to get the hell out of the room so he could think for a while. Unfortunately, his thinking spewed forth some powerful magical vibrations. Vibrations that caused my magical disguise to wig out as I was cleaning up some mess at the Gnome table. Those little bastards really make a mess! Diablo was drinking his Diet Coke when he looked over and recognized me. He dropped his silly soda on the floor, and screams, “BITCH!” Or maybe he said, “WITCH!” It scared the hell out of me so I’m not really sure.
He then raised his heinous hands ready to destroy me with one of his patented massive energy balls, and nothing happened. The look of panic in his eyes was priceless as he kept moving his hand around in front of him. At that moment I yelled, “Mystic Sphere!” to activate my personal magical energy bubble but nothing happened. It then dawned on me that a protection spell on the building was in place to protect the Illuminati. It must have been beyond powerful in order to block Diablo’s massive powers. I hoped it was only for powers, and not to prevent all harm within the hotel because I really wanted to beat the hell out of the smug Sorcerer! I was certainly confident I could courtesy of my Demi-Mermaid strength, speed, and agility!
I strolled over with a sly smile on my face, and told the magically impotent Diablo, “It’s a protection spell you dumb dork!” I then kick him in the balls, and he doubles over in pain groaning as I kneed him in the face. He fell to the floor in agony probably having never felt pain for the centuries he’s existed on Earth. He looked so pathetic like he was going to cry, and I was no longer afraid of him. It seemed like he was never in a regular human fist fight in his entire immortal life. He only knew the power, and protection of his magic. Now he will know the power of human willpower, and my need to exact revenge for the countless humans he has killed or brought suffering upon!
Drake ran out of the kitchen toward us with his eyes glowing yellow, and fangs extended. He had a silver sword in his hand as he bellowed, “Kill him now Rebecca! This is our only chance!” I guess I froze because I’ve never killed anyone before but for a moment I contemplated strangling him with my bare hands since I had no weapon handy. Dimitri bolted up at that moment and rammed into me causing me to fall over a table onto the thick royal blue carpeting. The shocked Sorcerer then burst through a window but not before Drake sliced his back with the sword. Diablo lay out in the sunlight with shattered glass all around him on the lush green lawn. He was cut everywhere, and as he staggered up we could see blood gushing from his back. I had just gotten up, and I screamed, “No!” as Drake ran into the sunlight to finish him off.
Drake began swinging his sword at the daunted Diablo who kept ducking out of the way. All the sudden his wounds healed instantly, and his trademark devilish grin returned as he gazed upon his healed arms, and hands no longer sporting bloody wounds. When Drake took another swing Diablo didn’t move out of the way but rather caught the sword in his hand, and caused it to crumble into silver dust. He then began laughing maniacally while grabbing Drake by the neck, and lifting him up with his magically enhanced super strength. Now out of the hotel Diablo was free of the protection spell. He held Drake in the direct holy sunlight which he had amazingly withstood for a minute but now white smoke began to rise from his ever-reddening skin.
Diablo then roared, “Ah yes vampire vermin you shall expire from existence this day!” Bilderberg private security was moving in from all around but then Dimitri screamed, “Be gone with you heathens! This is my sinister symphony to conduct!” He raised his hand, and some massive vibrations could be seen in the air radiating from him in all directions. It knocked out all the security as I ran out freed of the protection spell, and shouted, “Mystic Sphere bastard!” My protective pink enchanted energy sphere formed around me as I touched Drake who was starting to burst into flames. The mystical sphere hit Diablo and sent him crashing clean through a storage shed nearby!
Once within my protective magical sphere, Drake ceased flaming and began to heal. Diablo’s unholy otherworldly shrieks echoed everywhere as he levitated toward us with red glowing eyes, and violet electrical energy jumping back, and forth between his hands. He hellishly hollered, “Now you will both meet your maker for daring to defy Diablo! You will perish from this planet today, and your very immortal souls will be mine for all eternity!!” His electrical energy hit my Mystic Sphere causing the surface to ripple like pink water which has never happened before. It took everything I had to keep my energy field up as Dimitri hit us with his magical barrage. Drake then said, “Forgive me, Rebecca!” He then bit into my neck and partook of my magical witch blood so that he could acquire a duplicate of my powers.
The Violet Double Mystic Sphere
Drake growled, and his eyes glowed red as he bellowed, “Mystic Sphere!” We then had a rare double energy sphere form around us. His sphere was light blue as it usually is for males, and it caused the combined sphere to be a light violet in color. The ripples stabilized, and it looked like we were going to repel his attacks. Diablo was enraged, and still weakened by the powerful Illuminati protection spell which was most likely created by Arch-Demons or the Devil himself since that’s who they draw magical power from. He seemed to be pushing his power as far as he could, and the combined sphere began to have violent waves in it. It was getting unstable as both me and Drake strained to keep the sphere alive. Just then Ex-Navy Seal Hunter Jackson hops over a fence nearby yelling, “Die Diablo!” as he fires off his machine gun. The bullets hit Dimitri and caused minor surface wounds.
Luckily, it was enough to distract him and end his magical warfare. Crazy Diablo then pointed his hands at Hunter but was flung into a large oak tree by Psychic Julia Hathaway with her telekinetic powers. Zack Powers was right behind her, and he began uprooting trees with his bionic arms and lopping them at the sinister sorcerer to keep him from getting up. Hunter continued firing more silver-steel projectiles while Drake and I called upon Fulgora, the Roman Goddess of Lightening, for power. Both of us were given the power to shoot streams of purple lightning from our hands which struck Dimitri causing him to scream out in agony. His Sorcerer’s robe caught on fire, and he was left only wearing some odd-looking granny panties that didn’t burn for some reason. As if he wasn’t weird enough already!
We had this blasphemous bastard pinned down real good for the first time anyone can remember. Mystic Investigations President Xavier Remington quickly bolted from the front of the hotel as three Illuminati security goons attempted to tackle him. He stopped, and roundhouse kicked two of them onto the ground, and beat the hell out of the other with his Kung Fu. We ceased our attack, and Julia used her telekinesis to hold dirty Diablo down. Drake and I did the same with the force of the Mystic Sphere. Zack physically held him down as well. Xavier then pulled out the fabled diamond dagger given to us by the great Sorcerer Ian McTavish. It is said that this mystical dagger, fashioned from the largest diamond on Earth, had the power to kill any sorcerer.
Xavier raised the iridescent glittering dagger and plunged it into Diablo’s dark heart. The scary sorcerer now had a look of fear on his fading face. His own glamour disguise blinked out, and we finally saw his true appearance which he always kept hidden from the masses. He was a horrific-looking bony corpse-like being. Almost zombie-looking without the rotting flesh. His skin was gray, and he looked desiccated with a small tuft of bright white hair. We were all horrified by his pathetic appearance. I assume this was the result of utilizing dark magics beyond the limit of his physical form which is human….just barely. Once the shock of his disgusting form wore off we were all relieved that the threat of Diablo was over. The fallen fool lay motionless on the soft grass in the warm afternoon sun while a bunny hopped gracefully nearby.
Some members of the Illuminati walked out and thanked us for finishing off our common threat. We made it clear we didn’t do it for them but they still asked us to join them in their quest for global domination. We were promised top security positions among the 13 ruling elite families of the Illuminati. We told them that we’d rather rot in hell. They all laughed sadistically, and a frail, yet deeply sinister-looking man in a wheelchair, ordered their group of 23 practitioners of magic to destroy us. We all gathered together as their sorcerer, witches, warlocks, and wizards faced us with hands, and wands raised at the ready. Drake and I screamed “Mystic Sphere!” We expanded it to encompass all of the Mystic Investigations team as the Illuminati Army let loose a rainbow-colored attack of deadly magics. The large violet sphere began faltering almost immediately, and we all knew it was the end for us.
Only Xavier had faith as he exclaimed that ancient prophesy told us we were major players in the apocalypse so we couldn’t die yet. Somehow how we would be spared from the deadly clutches of the New World Order by holy fate. The sphere burst, and a blinding flash of white light appeared. As our eyes adjusted everything in the general area appeared to be lit by a black light. Everything had a purple hue among the dark shadows. We looked up at the sun, and it looked purple as well. A familiar sinister cackling echoed forth, and we all turned to see Diablo floating above us with his glamour restored. He appeared to be a healthy young male with dark black hair again. He even had a new glittering gold robe on except it had a crimson silk fringe rather than the previous purple.
All the Illuminati and their magical warriors looked deadly scared as Diablo proclaimed, “Thank you for killing me with the Diamond Dagger Of Hemmingsworth Mystic Investigations! It was my literal ticket straight to hell where I had the pleasure of engaging in the ultimate battle of exquisite evil with the now-defunct Devil. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to defeat the denizen of doom. However, I did shackle his flimsy fallen Angel ass in the Jinn dimension. It seems the Jinn have issues with him over his part in locking their kind up in bottles and lamps to create Genie slaves. Now tough little brimstone boy is in a hell all his own. Ah yes, you ridiculous Illuminati fools! You will bow to me now for I am the new King Of Hell! You will do my bidding! I am the New World Order now! All evil beings who have pledged allegiance to the demonic minions of hell are now enslaved to me. I said bow to me human slugs!” Diablo then shot red energy bolts from his hands causing the Illuminati members and their magical minions to bow on the grass before the insanely evil Dimitri.
We refused to bow to him, and since we never served hell he could not make us. Diablo crazily cackled, and said, “You will be spared for now my good friends at Mystic Investigations. Especially you Xavier. I had a vision many weeks ago that you would dive the diamond dagger into my heart, and I would recite an ancient incantation as my dark soul stood outside my body on the precipice of the Afterlife. It amplified my power and gave me the ability to navigate the higher dimensions including hell. Once I attained the powers of hell from the easily defeated Devil I resurrected myself to claim my rightful throne to Earth as well. Next stop the Heavens! The Universe will be mine! Do you hear me God! I own you! I own you all!” He then flew away in a burst of neon red light as his sinister snickering could be heard throughout the Virginia countryside.
Although he appeared to be dead for a mere few minutes he had actually been gone for hundreds of years within the higher dimensions outside time as we know it! As of posting this story we haven’t heard from the Devil Diablo nor seen any extraordinary evils take place. No one person besides God should have such immense powers. God only knows what this hellish horror has planned for humankind, the Earth, and the Universe in general. All we know for sure is that the forces of goodness, and light shall prevail in the end for the souls of humankind have the ultimate power to change our reality.