The Adventures Of Flat Stanley And Mystic Investigations

This is a short science fiction story written for my niece, and her Flat Stanley School Project. Flat Stanley is a boy miraculously flattened, and shrunk which causes him to have unique adventures. He is often mailed to other people around the world so he can have a wide array of new experience. The story below is written as a letter to my niece from his point of view. In this adventure Flat Stanley visits us here at Mystic Investigations in the supernatural town of Woodland Springs, Colorado.

I’m Flat Stanley, and I was mailed to Uncle Ricky in Milwaukee, WI. However we promptly got on an airplane, and flew to the mystical town of Woodland Springs, Colorado. A place full of supernatural wonders that mysteriously doesn’t seem to show up on any maps. Once we landed at the airport we were greeted by Ricky’s friends Xavier Remington, and Rebecca Abernathy. The President, and Senior Vice-President, of Mystic Investigations which is a paranormal crime fighting research company. They drove us to their home at Remington Manor where we unpacked our suitcases in the guest rooms. We then drove to Mystic Investigations headquarters to take an awesome tour of the high tech building. That included their huge library of books about a plethora of supernatural beings including unicorns, vampires, fairies, werewolves, Leprechauns, zombies, and even Santa Claus! I was thrilled to hear that all these enchanted entities were real. I was even more excited to learn that the Mystic Investigations team actually vacations at North Pole City with Santa Claus every year! They even invited me to fly there with them next Christmas in their private jet! At the end of the tour they gave me a shiny silver badge, and declared me an honorary supernatural detective. Rebecca, who was amazingly a wondrous witch, and half mermaid, gave me a four leafed clover. She said a real Leprechaun gave it to her when she was in Ireland on Saint Patrick’s Day! It glittered green in my hand because it was beaming full of good luck. She said it would protect me in the coming weeks on what would be the most epic journey of my entire life!

Later in the afternoon we went to the circus, and I met this funny little clown who didn’t talk. It turned out he was a Mime. A performer who acts out stories silently through the Stanley-Circusmovement of his or her body. He seemed to be telling a tall tale about the Easter Bunny. Afterward we went to dinner at a local pizza parlor for kids called Wanda’s Pizza Fun Palace. There were all kinds of cool mini amusement rides, and video games to play! I also met what appeared to be plush dolls that were actually alive! They talked, and walked on their own as we had fun the whole evening. Uncle Ricky said the restaurant was owned by a good witch who could animate dolls with marvelous magic! She greeted everyone after we were there for a few hours. Her name was Wanda, and she offered to restore me to my normal size, and thickness. I told her that I was Little Flat Stanley, and if I was like any other boy I couldn’t have as much fantastical fun! After all the days activities I was so tired that I fell right to sleep in my soft bed at Remington Manor. I had the most jolly dream of meeting the Easter Bunny in a huge field of flowers, and colored eggs for as far as the eye could see! Read The Rest Of This Story On Our Christmas Blog…


By Xavier Remington

Stanley Fairy Photo

Stanley Sponge Bob






Next Kid’s Story: The Adventures Of Sprinkles The Elephant

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Genetic Demon Easter Bunny Experiment

This sinister bunny was the product of a government genetic experiment gone wrong. A crime against Mother Nature that attempted to combine demonic DNA with that of an innocent bunny. Similar experiments have been perpetuated by witches, warlocks, wizards, and sorcerers dabbling in the dark arts. A horrifying attempt to create a monstrous predator to hunt down the Easter Bunny! That sainted leader of Easter who is the world’s only known Werebunny! The unholy creature escaped his government lab, and as luck would have it, a performing magician deep into dark magick welcomed the rabid rabbit into his terrifying top hat.  The blasphemous bunny of exceptional intelligence was smart enough to know that their partnership was mutually beneficial.  The magician could demonically sacrifice fans of his magic show he lured back stage while the bunny could devour the remains afterward.

Even more despicable is the bunny’s ability to shapeshift into a cute furry form. A facade of innocence used to lure in innocent men, women, and even children! This diabolical duo even had the nerve to set up Easter events, and have the batty little beast pose as the holy Easter Bunny! For several years they spread their reign of low key terror across North America. Thankfully this filthy fiend was eventually captured by the forces of good working in conjunction with the enchanted Easter Bunny himself! The demonic experimental bunny is now caged in a Cryptozoological lab in the sub-basement of Mystic Investigations!  Get your own animated demon bunny prop, and put on the scariest magic show ever!

Free Easter Countdown Clock

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The Blacklist Red Reddington Takes Out The Easter Bunny

Clearly Red Reddington Of The Blacklist has become a high level Sorcerer if he’s able to take out the Easter Bunny with extreme prejudice! The Easter Bunny is actually a cursed Werehare damned to an immortal existence as a bunny whether in the form seen in this video, or morphing into a large humanoid rabbit.  Presumably Reddington employed a dark magic dampening field in the general vicinity to halt transformation to the Easter Bunny’s more powerful incarnation. Then Red mercilessly shot the helpless bunny with a special unholy Thorium based bullet. RIP world’s only Werehare!

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Zombie Gnomes

Gnome ZombieYou may have been seeing more depictions of Zombie Gnomes on the Internet lately.  This is due to the fact that they actually only came into existence in recent years.  Generally, the zombie virus only affects humans but some years ago a new supernatural strain surfaced that infects isolated populations of the Gnome community.  Since Gnomes eat children it’s not really a tragedy to watch these little immortal bastards eventually rot into oblivion as walking dead corpses. It’s rumored that a misguided witch mutated the zombie virus and cursed it upon a group of Gnomes for devouring her child!  Unfortunately, as Lilliputian zombies, they now pose a threat to everyone! Especially children!  Thankfully the Zombie Gnome virus can’t be passed on to humans so most will only have a chunk of flesh bitten out of them unless they’re attacked by a hoard of the little Devils. They’ll finish you off like a group of hungry sharks!

You know you’re in trouble when this monstrous menace comes crawling out of the bowels of your garden!

Zombie Gnomes can’t be stopped in the same way normal human origin Zombies can be stopped. That being brute force annihilation of their brains or bodies! These tiny suckers are resilient and regenerate rapidly! Complete incineration via hot flames is the only sure way to completely eradicate the Gnome Zombie menace! Unfortunately, there are no protections such as religious artifacts.  Nor do the few normal Zombie Repellents work on these horrifying Gnomes.  Zombie Gnomes don’t have a fear of adults, loud noises, or Garden Gnome Statues like standard Gnomes do. This paranormal phenomenon is simply too new. More research needs to be done on these hellish creatures!

If you’re looking for a safe way to instill fun loving Zombie Gnome terror in the hearts of Trick O Treaters then try the Sidestepping Dancing Zombie Gnome Doll Decor.  You can have this crazy little doll sidestepping itself into some kind of demented Irish jig in your haunted Halloween graveyard or haunted house.  Of course, some might just laugh at the little-zombified loon! 🙂  Learn more or purchase the Animated Zombie Gnome Doll.

Oddly enough despite the addition of the standard zombie guttural growling sounds Zombie Gnomes still will perform a random snide sinister cackle as a normal Gnome would.  It’s merely a reflex action as they are no longer self-aware, and are simply mindless flesh eating machines!

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