You and your friends decide to partake of what should have been a harmless camping trip into the deep woods. Little did you know a US Paranormal Defense Agency transport truck had been shipping sensitive supernatural materials from a now closed underground base within said woods. One shockingly special container fell to the foggy forest floor unknown to the secret soldiers on board. Your merry band of nocturnal trekkers explore the woods in the light of the full Moon. Thankfully no Werewolves are afoot! Yet something most sinister lurks in your path!
You happen upon a high tech looking box emitting an eerie blue light. As your curious team strolls closer crimson lights flare in unison with a spine chilling alarm. You all instinctively bolt away at first but then the sound suddenly stops. Everyone gives you puzzled looks as dead silence mutes the landscape. The first chirps of cricket cause you to cautiously walk toward the box. Clearly, the mysterious box is motion activated since it starts wailing again! You move in closer after calming down and discussing what this futuristic object could be.
There’s a small window where the azure light illuminates from but it appears to have frost on the inside. Indeed it is cold to the touch. After getting acclimated to the crazy alarm you gain enough courage to begin pressing the glowing buttons on the box. The symbols on them don’t give you any clue as to what they do. A whooshing sound sends frigid air blasting on your faces. Air ripe with the stench of cold death itself! A freaky fog flows out of the blue glow. With the stench dissipating you all move in even closer to see what’s inside. Suddenly an otherworldly growl causes your hearts to skip several beats as a monstrous Zombie lurches out at you!🧟♂️
The half frozen freak takes a bloody bite out of your friends jugular and forcibly grabs another. They’re both dead instantly! You and your other friend scamper away screaming in terror. After several minutes of full speed running you collapse exhausted on the muddy ground contemplating the horror you just witnessed. It was a bad idea leaving the smart phones back at camp for the sake of completely communing with nature! You slowly get up to make it back there but your two other supposedly dead friends appear in front of you. Their sickly pale faces say not a word as they blankly stare at you. They are now members of the living dead! The zombies move toward you and your friend cries out in agony! You’re shocked to see the box zombie biting into their shoulder. You find yourself knocked to the ground by your two zombified friends who end up devouring you like the zombies they have become!
Ultimately, the original zombie and your two Walking Dead friends are the only survivors. Who knows why some zombies only take a few bites from some while eating others whole? The living dead survivors stagger through the woods into the daylight hours eating every animal in sight. As they make it to a roadway they are blasted away by machine gun fire. The US Paranormal Defense Agency has rectified their foolish mistake. The government cleans up all evidence and takes extra measures to prevent their supernatural experiments from escaping in the future!🧟♀️
What do you do when the Midnight Oils need to be burned at both ends of the candle yet the flames of energy just aren’t manifesting with the standard cup of Joe? When the Red Bull dies and all else fails there’s Death Wish Coffee! A flavorful, yet dangerous, 728 mg roast of caffeine that will jolt the ever loving hell out of you through the night straight to dawn! Oh no you’re not done yet! The power punch is packed all the way past lunch and maybe even down to hell in a hand basket! Ah yes fine folks, Death Wish Coffee will bring you to death’s door and back again as your life passes before your very eyes!
The blasphemous brew is strong enough to resurrect Charles Bronson in zombie form…well maybe not that strong. LOL! This Halloween be sure to treat yourself to the very best as you pull a trick o treat all nighter with Death Wish Coffee! Don’t let ghosts, goblins, ghouls, vampires, werewolves, and zombies get the best of you when nodding off in a graveyard. Let Death Wish Coffee breath new life into you this Halloween. Perhaps even keeping you so awake you never die to begin with! Or you could drop dead after one cup! Ah who the hell knows?
Warning: A full pot of Death Wish Coffee contains 5,096 mg of heart pounding Frankenstein jolting caffeine that will make your very immortal soul ascend to levels of Heaven the Angels don’t even know about!
The Downtrodden Wake Slow, Console Themselves With Frosted Dough, Head Hanging Quite Low, Loathing The Monday Ever So, Being Over Dramatic They’ll Never Know, Yearning For Friday To Reignite Their Glow….🍩
Do you wish everyday was Halloween or Christmas? Do you shed tears of sadness, or clench your fists in a fury all week because you hate your job? Do you Call Wednesday “Hump Day”, act like you work in a coal mine for 16 hours at a time, and have a deep silly love for Friday as your salvation leading into the party time weekend? This isn’t the dark ages! You have choices especially if you actually have a full time job.
Look into online education (Best Online Schools), or night school to retrain yourself for a new career. Or get your resume in order, and work for another company. Of course your credit report may have to be in order as well since it’s now used by many as the central judgement of your life in employment, and a variety of other areas! Perhaps even negotiating telecommuting with your employer is a viable option. Work harder with the goal of getting promoted to a position you would like. Ask your employer if they have any in house training programs to increase your skills, and chances for advancement. In addition if you have real skills then starting your own business could be an option. If a boss is making you miserable then report them to human resources in a respectful manner if possible. Loathing the work week is no way to live your life! It should be something you look forward to as one of your fulfilling purposes in life. Ultimately it’s your choice. Nobody is forcing you to do anything! You have the freedom to move your life in any direction you so choose!
By Xavier Remington
PS: Some have found their salvation from the 9-5 grind here at Mystic Investigations. A career at our supernatural crime fighting firm is action packed, and full of fun all damn day long! At least the employees seem to enjoy the fun slide from the second floor!