Poltergeists Cause Tiger Woods Ex-Wife, Elin Nordegren, To Demolish $12 Million Dollar Home

Tiger Woods Ex-Wife, Elin Nordegren, decided to enjoy her $100 million dollar divorce settlement and bought a $12 million home in North Palm Beach, Florida. Then she inexplicably demolished it, and now it’s nothing but rubble. Many were puzzled as to why she’d destroy a luxurious six-bedroom. and eight-bathroom mansion. The mainstream media simply said she didn’t like the house, and bulldozed it like a small child having an angry fit.

Mystic Investigation Paranormal News did some digging after hearing some rumors that this story may in fact be supernatural in nature. We found out the reason Elin destroyed the mansion because it was infested with multiple poltergeists that were terrorizing her, and just her. The poltergeists were acting in an unusual manner, and not targeting her kids as well. For a time she thought she was going crazy because nobody else was experiencing the demonic apparitions, the death curdling screaming in the dead of the night waking her from a sound sleep, the wretched sulfuric stinks, and sub-zero cold drafts. She finally contacted a Florida supernatural investigations firm called Ghosts r Us, and they confirmed the odd multiple poltergeist home invasion. Generally, Poltergeists work alone, and never in concert targeting one person.  Unfortunately, Ghosts r Us, and even a Catholic Priest known for exorcisms could not cleanse the home of the horrific evil. Too bad Elin didn’t contact us here at Mystic Investigations. We always get the job done no matter what because we’re the best in the paranormal business.

Her only option left was to destroy the huge house, and have the ground blessed by multiple Priests who actually bathed it with tons of holy water. Now the hallowed grounds are ready for rebuilding after three separate metaphysical investigations firms confirmed the property was free of paranormal activity. Hopefully, this will be the end of Ms.Nordegren’s supernatural problems. Although, we fear it won’t after researching the cause of the poltergeists infestation more completely.

The history of Elin, and the house was clean of any violence or Devil worship so the only explanation was that someone powerful sicked these demons upon her. We learned that it was a wicked witch who goes simply by the name Rexanna. Evidence indicates she was briefly linked as a Tiger Woods love interest but Tiger broke it off when he discovered she was into the dark Pagan arts. She was obsessed with him and stalked him until he hired a powerful Warlock named Alexzano to repel her unwanted advances. Apparently, she feels great jealously over Tiger being seen with his ex-wife occasionally which is understandable since they have children together. We have shared our findings with both Woods, and Nordegren so hopefully they can neutralize the Rexanna menace. Certainly, we here at Mystic Investigations would be more than happy to take on Rexanna and eliminate her as a threat to anyone. We will keep you apprised of the situation as more events arise.

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Paranormal Professions On The Rise

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As unemployment rises across the United States there’s one job sector that continues to grow.  That sector being supernatural in nature.  As we approach our date with destiny in 2012, paranormal activity has increased exponentially, and the paranormal private sector is meeting the demand that the government refuses to even acknowledge most of the time.   Most people laugh when they see want ads for Ghost, Zombie, Werewolf, and Vampire Hunters, along with Cryptozoologists, and parapsychologists.  Although, the growing businesses placing these ads are only laughing all the way to the bank.  And this is despite the common practice of pro-bono services in the industry.  These businesses are havens for brave warriors who battle the forces of evil on our behalf.  Luckily high fees paid by towns, businesses, rich individuals, and philanthropic organizations help make the supernatural sector highly lucrative.

A number of people choose to be self-employed and battle the big bads of this world on their own terms.  At present, the small operations are the majority.  Although the paranormal corporate world is on the rise, and growing strong.  One of the biggest is ZombieCorp, Inc. whose specialization in Zombie eradication has made them millions for stockholders.  Halloween of 2011 presented them with record returns as communities, private individuals, and corporations outsourced their zombie infestations to the pros.  CEO Lee Sampson says,”A part of me feels bad that I profit from the terror of the rotting corpses of the living dead but another part feels the satisfaction of taking down zombies free of charge in some cases.  No matter what we clean up an entire community whether we were paid just for an estate, or just a graveyard.  We care about people, and we will fight to the death to protect them from the hellish scourge of the zombie menace!”

We here at Mystic Investigations have seen a surge in business in the last few years.  We went from a small leased suite to a small two-story building of our own in our battle against all forms of supernatural evil.  Our partnership with ZombieCorp and other firms within the vast cooperative network of paranormal professionals casts a protective net over the planet so you the average citizen can sleep easy at night.  Fear not at that random unholy howl for the Werewolf is most likely about to be slain in the silvery moon glow at the hands of our fine supernatural warriors.

If you have an interest in a paranormal profession then study up on the internet, and at the library.  Then go out, and get some experience on your own, or get hired as an apprentice with a reputable paranormal investigations agency.  You can also go the college route as well.  More, and more colleges are offering courses in the paranormal arts.  In addition, if you know where to look you can find the secret schools that teach the tricks of the trade, and educate you in the ways of the metaphysical.  As always you enter such professions at your own peril.  It’s not easy being human when going up against vampires, werewolves, zombies, Chupacabra, extraterrestrials, poltergeists, wicked witches, demons, and other hair-raising hells that go boom in the night.

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