Do Vampires Use The Toilet?

vampire-toiletNovember 19th is World Toilet Day! Naturally, the first thought that comes to mind is do Vampires need to use the crapper? No vampires do not have to go to the bathroom even when they drink too much.  Whether that be blood, alcohol, or water which are the three things they can consume. This includes times when they might eat a small amount of food to blend in with humans despite it being like poison to them. They neither urinate nor defecate since their human organs are in a living dead dormant state.

The Vampire Virus Eradicates All Waste

Instead, the lively vampire virus that resides within their demonic DNA voraciously ravages anything other than blood that they may ingest. Blood is transformed into sanguine energy that grants the vampire his or her paranormal powers.  Anything the virus can’t metaphysically ingest itself is bombarded with some type of radical demonic radiation that disintegrates the substance into nothingness. Under a microscope, it looks like a flash of violet light similar to that of a UV black light.

Vampires Have No Need For Toilets

So ladies please rest assured that your special vampire friend will not leave the toilet seat up because he won’t be going anywhere near the restroom. Especially since they don’t usually need to take a shower along with not seeing their reflections in silver based mirrors. Same for female vampires so you guys can leave the crapper cover securely in the upright position. Toilets in vampire homes often go neglected unless a human servant lives in residence. Surely you are dealing with a vampire or some manner of supernatural being if you find the toilets in a stately manor have been removed or have little to no water in the bowl! We hope you appreciate another classy supernatural article from the good folks here at Mystic Investigations!  #WorldToiletDay


Motion Activated Toilet Nightlight

Has Micheal Myers Ever Battled Supernatural Monsters?


In the Halloween movie franchise, Michael Myers only goes up against humans whether helpless or well armed. Either way, he always walks away ready to kill another day! The real-life Michael Myers, known as the immortal superhuman serial killer Stanley Stiers, is still on the lose. Thankfully he only engages in his murderous madness on Halloween! Somewhat like Jason Voorhees only killing people on Friday The 13th. Although Stanley has been sparsely spotted on Halloween Eve and November 2nd Day Of The Dead. Yet never on November 1st Hallowmas, aka All Saints Day. Where he goes the rest of the year nobody knows? Perhaps he needs an entire year to heal his body via some mystical process? Certainly, we know his mind and body are disconnected from his soul which could hinder metaphysical energy transfer essential for healing mortal wounds and keeping the aging process at bay.

Has Michael Myers Killed Supernatural Beings?

Eliminating average humans is easy for a superhuman with killer instincts, super strength, speed, agility, senses, and stealth. Has Stanley Stiers ever met the challenge of taking on other superhuman’s, monsters, and various paranormal creatures? Despite his limited Halloween kill window he has run across those who could truly have a chance at beating him. The odds would dictate it would eventually happen a number of times since Stanley is 106 years old and has been in serial killer mode for 95 Halloweens now. It actually seems to happen every decade or so. This is in addition to the paranormal professionals who attempt to stop him every so often.

There are unsubstantiated rumors that he entered a haunted house sometime in the 1930’s. Apparently, he went up against a violent poltergeist and ended up burning the entire house to the ground! The first known incident was in 1944 amid World War II sugar rationing which effectively deflated most trick or treating festivities. This weakened the Spirit Of Halloween between 1942 through 1946 thereby making the usual cavalcade of Halloween monsters even greater. While brave soldiers were fighting the Nazis and Japanese we had supernatural warriors at home battling prolific paranormal activity including a plethora of dark spirits, poltergeists, and demons!

Micheal Myers vs A Vampire

On Halloween 1944 Stanley Stiers walked the barren streets devoid of Trick O Treaters. The promise of toothbrushes and bland carrot cake wasn’t enough to get the kids going door to door during the sugar shortage. There was some decor such as Jack-O-Lanterns but otherwise, things were dead. Stanley liked to spot his victims amid Halloween crowds he mingled with while wearing his trademark mask. He began looking into house windows seeing if anyone caught his interest. That’s when he heard the shrill scream of a woman several houses down. Stiers ran to the house and kicked in the front door to find a Vampire biting into a woman. She had invited the handsome man in as he claimed his car had broken down. He supposedly needed to use her phone. People were insanely trusting back then!

The vampire was shocked by the sudden intrusion of the 6′ 4″ muscular masked man as he tossed the woman aside. She was still conscious as she witnessed the supernatural spectacle on the floor leaning against her couch. Stanley began walking slowly toward the vampire with iconic knife raised. The vampire’s eyes glowed red while he angrily exclaimed, “How dare you interrupt my feeding you filthy slayer!” He wrongly assumed Stiers was a Vampire Slayer. Stanley swung the blade at the bloodsucker who blocked the blow by grabbing his wrist. Stan then grabbed the vampire’s other wrist. The two terrifying titans grappled in a battle of strength and will. We’re unaware of what generation the vampire was since this would determine his strength level. Some estimates put him somewhere between the 7th and 10th generations. Stanley appeared to be unimpressed by the vampires power, glowing eyes, and display of fangs along with the monstrous growling. It’s unknown if Stiers had any knowledge of the vampires before this but he does have a history of being fearless. A belief he is the most powerful predator on Earth!

It appeared the vampire was starting to twist apex predator Stan’s arm in an attempt to force the knife into him. However, the completely stoic and silent Stiers began turning the tables as he mustered within him the strength of his murderous will and plunged the knife into the vampire’s heart! The vamp staggered back in surprise as he let out a snide snicker before pulling the blade out and flinging it at Stiers hitting him in the chest just missing the heart. Before he could pull it out the vampire raced at him like a blur and sunk his teeth into Stanley. The vampire was immediately disgusted by the taste of the blood that made him feel sick. Normally immortal human blood is a sweet treat for vampires. It’s thought that Stiers soulless blood would be akin to feasting on a long dead person which is like poison to a vampire.

The Mercy Of Michael Myers?

Stiers picked up the fanged fool and threw him into the rather large fireplace blazing nearby. By some luck, the poor woman watching everything said a Lord’s Prayer as she quivered in fear. That prayer actually made the flames Holy Fire and the vampire was instantly incinerated to unholy ash. Stanley watched the vampire burn while pulling the knife from his chest. There was very little blood flowing from the wound. The woman got up and actually hugged Stanley thanking him for saving her. She was a little unsure about his mask but assumed it was for Halloween.

Stanley stood silent and motionless in the woman’s warm embrace until his monstrous nature made him raise the knife to do his thing. At that moment a four-year-old girl wearing a witches costume came running downstairs screaming, “Mommy I woke up from my nap!” The child stood still as she witnessed the masked Stiers and her Mom together. Stanley then turned away and stomped out the door into the dark cold shadows never to be seen in that neighborhood ever again! It is interesting how quite a few supernatural serial killers seem to go out of their way not to harm small kids. Indeed he displayed some mercy by not extinguishing the child’s mother in her presence. We Will Highlight Michael Myers, aka Stanley Stiers, Battles With Other Sinister Supernatural In Future Articles…

New Halloween Movie In Theaters October 19, 2018

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Do All Vampires Know The History Of Their Sire Line?

Generally, when a vampire brings a human across death’s door into the dark bloody shadows they relay the history of their sire line. Even if this history wasn’t shared vampires can go into a deep meditative psychic state and discover the vampire family they came from. This even includes the demon patriarch who started everything by deeply possessing a human and mating with another to create a first generation vampire. They, in turn, can transform vampires the old-fashioned way. It’s the demonic energy that bonds all successive generations of vampires thereby giving them a psychic connection. These supernatural connections are used to telepathically communicate with their vampire relatives around the world. Most often occurring as they sleep.

If a related vampire is dead then they can communicate with them if they became a demon in Hell. However, if they embraced their humanity and went to Heaven then the bond is lost. If their dark soul ended up in purgatory or somewhere else they would also lose the demonic bond. These psychic bonds were especially important before global communications. Since Immortals vampires would globe trot around the world it would be easy to lose track of vampire family and friends through the centuries. Without telepathic communication trying to find them would be like looking for a needle in a haystack!