Since 2017 Mystic Investigations has been tracking an ever-growing Sasquatch rebellion. The Bigfoot, sometimes called the missing link, are a distant relative of humankind genetically altered by extraterrestrial’s experimenting with the supernatural in North America. They were the first intelligent Continue reading The North American Sasquatch Uprising!→
The Dark Story Of The Jason Voorhees Cult He’s Back! We finally received confirmation that our Jason Voorhees Resurrection Warnings unfortunately came true on Friday November 13th, 2015. The venomous Voorhees Cult has been marshaling metaphysical energies over the course of two years from Friday Continue reading Jason Voorhees Resurrected On Friday The 13th!→
Paranormal People Magazine is the secret supernatural sub-magazine of People Magazine. A mystical magazine only distributed to those of us in the real supernatural community. The magazine tends to take a lighter tone rather than focusing on the dangers of Continue reading Santa Claus Sexiest Supernatural Man Alive!→
The Denver Broncos lost Super Bowl XLVIII in one of the most embarrassing defeats in football history on February 2nd, 2014! This one-sided match was almost surreal as the Seattle Seahawks pummeled the Broncos who had a score of zero for most of the game. The sad Super Bowl showing ended in a score of 43-8. How could a team that made it to the Super Bowl play like a group of bumbling amateurs? It’s inexplicable! After some suspicious supernatural cues, Mystic Investigations began investigating this unfortunate incident. This led us to the uncovering of a rare deal with the Devil himself. Sure there are deals with demons but you have to be someone special to receive a direct audience with the Devil. Although since October 2013 it’s somewhat easier since he’s walking the Earth in a biological human-like form.
A Devil’s Deal Is Made
Even without directly holding the reigns of Hell in his hands, since the Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo took over as King of Hell, the Devil is still a powerful Archdemon and technically the Emperor Of Hell and the Underworld. Satan has legions of loyal demon followers holding plenty of souls in collection. There’s also the practitioners of black magic who see him as their dark master and unholy lord. It seems Microsoft co-founder, and Seattle Seahawks owner Billionaire Paul Allen had the clout to summon the Devil to him via contact with some high-level Satanic Priests. This puzzled us at first since it’s common knowledge in the paranormal community that Allen, and fellow college drop-out Bill Gates, formed an unholy pact with a high-level demon named Shazzleton. They sold their souls to make Microsoft one of the most successful corporations on Earth. Once you sell your soul and make a demonic deal you usually have nothing left to negotiable with. However, after consulting numerous physics, seers, mystics, and priests we discovered that Dimitri Diablo slew Shazzleton in one of the many battles taking place in the Hell Civil War. Factions loyal to the Devil are still fighting Diablo’s authority. Before his untimely death Shazzleton held the title of Grand Duke Demon Of Hell!
The Re-Selling Of A Soul
Once a demon is eradicated from existence all the souls he bought are freed from their contract. Although sometimes demons sneak in riders that state the souls are ultimately owned by the Devil thereby ensuring the souls remain the property of Hell in perpetuity! If whatever the soul seller got in return has altered reality on a global scale then it can’t be taken back. Any supernatural tampering with the timeline on a major level would enact the Supernatural Secrecy Pact causing Angelic intervention. Clearly, Allen doesn’t seem to see the importance of having a soul, and he was quite delighted to have what he thinks of as his soul stock back in play. For reasons unknown, he felt a Super Bowl win was worth his immortal soul as crazy as that sounds for someone who is a billionaire! The Devil was quite happy to get another soul back in his possession for something so simple as a football game win.
Satan Secures A Seat At The Super Bowl
Witnesses remember seeing a man fitting the Devil’s current description at the Super Bowl so he obviously took care of this task personally. Some remember him specifically because he would laugh maniacally every time the Broncos fumbled the ball or screwed up royally in some way. Most likely he was performing magic at each of those instances. From the coin toss win by Seattle onward the Devil had the entire Super Bowl under his Satanic spell. Although clearly Actor Kurt Russell, a friend of the Devil, knew in advance what the outcome of the Super Bowl would be. Spectators remember that the guy who turned out to be the Devil was really enjoying himself as he knocked back $12 beers and $13 hot dogs in mass quantities between his dramatically loud laughter. He also stood out in fans minds because he was sitting in between two hot women wearing low cut dresses. It’s unknown if they were demons, Satanic sycophants, or simply women under his supernatural spell. When the game was over he was seen getting into a black stretch limo with his two ladies. A few swear they saw his eyes glow red during the game.
So in conclusion Coloradans can at least have some solace that it was supernatural interference that lost them the Super Bowl. Hopefully, the Denver Broncos will bounce back in the 2014 season…so as long as nobody else sells their souls to see them lose!
At the 2019 Golden Globe Awards, Christian Bale won Best Actor for his portrayal of former US Vice-President Dick Cheney in the movie Vice. During his acceptance speech, he thanked the prolific Prince Of Darkness Satan for giving him the inspiration to play the role of Cheney. Of course many in the live audience and watching at home laughed at what appeared to be a joke and commentary on Cheney’s method of ruthless rule. When Bale said this he knew it would be taken that way or he would have never spoken the words. However, it turns out Bale actually knows the Devil himself! In fact, many in the supernatural and celebrity community know that Christian made a demonic deal to gain the fame he enjoys today!😈
Bale’s Battle To Star In American Psycho Motivates A Deal With The Devil!
It is known that many celebrities have risen to fame courtesy of diabolical deals with the Devil or his demonic minions. Our connections in the paranormal world indicate that Christian Bale actually met Satan 1997. Some months before that Bale began the fight to star as the psychotic serial killer Patrick Bateman in the classic horror comedy film American Psycho. Christian had a gut instinct that the movie would finally propel him to A-List stardom but the good folks down at Lionsgate Films thought he wasn’t famous enough. They were actively courting Leonardo DiCaprio along with offering the unique role to Edward Norton and Ewan Mcgregor. Bale remained committed to starring in American Psycho despite Lionsgate not wanting him. He truly believed one way or another he’d realize his dream. In the process, he turned down other acting jobs to stay available for the project! Watch American Psycho Online To See Where Christians Dark Journey Began!
Christian Sells His Soul To Satan!
Finally one night Christian had the most vivid lucid dream of his life in which Satan presented himself in his former glorious visage of the light known as the Archangel Lucifer. Naturally, he almost always introduces himself this way to those who will potentially sell their souls. Wouldn’t you accept an angel over a demon any day of the week? After Satan convinced Bale he was a cool, calm, and collected he met with him later that day in a tranquil park. The Devil manifested in astral form but appeared to be solidly there. It was there he told Christian everything he needed to know before entering into a Hell Contract with Satan. This included revealing he was no longer an Archangel but rather the ArchDemon Emperor Of Hell. Satan is the most charismatic and carefully calculating individual ever known in the world of darkness. It’s said he’s the ultimate salesman! He easily lulled Christian into a state of submission and after some consideration, Bale confidently signed his soul over to the Devil!😈
In order to guarantee a pleasant paradise in Hell, he must do favors for the Devil and his minions when asked. This includes a certain quota of soul-selling referrals each year along with being a card-carrying member of the infamous Devil worshiping Illuminati! Failure to comply with the conditions of the Hell Contract result in an early demise by the horrifying hands of dark Illuminati associates. Then comes the torture in Hell for a time. After that punishment they must torture others. If the Devil is pleased then they can become a Demons Apprentice and possibly a full Demon someday. Once demonic status is obtained his place in Hell will be securely sealed without worry of any pesky unpleasantness normally associated with the fire and brimstone!
What Will Life In Hell Be Like For Christian Bale?
From what we know Christian Bale is holding up his end of the bargain. Unfortunately, we see the pressure break free with a bit of violent angry behavior every so often! If Bale continues to honor the contract he will live a long healthy prosperous life. Upon a natural death, there are indications he has an optional rider in his contract to be reincarnated in the future to live out another life. This includes more support from the Devil. Clearly, Bale made a smart deal selling his soul for two lives! Once he finally dies Bale’s soul will be rejected by the light of Heaven as per Universal Law. Instead, he will go to Hell and act as a respected entertainer in the Devil’s Royal Hell Court along with other soul selling celebs. He will be allowed to design his own paradise realm to reside in during his free time. However, when in Hell the work ethic is deeply emphasized!
Bale Will Attain Blasphemous Demonhood Status!
Christian will be expected to train under a Demon as an apprentice and will eventually descend into Demonhood. Throughout this process, his human soul is slowly separated from the growing dark demonic spirit. The soul’s metaphysical energy must be preserved for the general paranormal power of Hell. Human souls provide major power boosts to whoever possesses them! Bales demon form will derive its power from his Demon Master and Satan as well. Christian will also be expected to train new demons, carrying out non-entertainment tasks in Hell, and even venture into the real world to recruit new souls. There are also undercover missions in Hollywood, governments, corporations, and other Earthly power centers. When doing this he will most likely possess a human. The manifestation of biological demons on Earth is actively thwarted by Angels! Bale may make his former celebrity form known to people who potentially want to sell their souls. Every little advantage helps! If he’s in hell long enough and collects a metric ton of souls then Bale could ascend to ArchDemon status. Although not anywhere on the same level as the fallen Archangel origin ones like Lucifer.
Christian Bale’s Ultimate Redemption
When the War Of Armageddon is inevitably won by Heaven or the Earthly Gods then Hell will be permanently shut down! All Angelic origin demons will either be eradicated or locked away. The Devil himself is thought to be one who will find themselves locked in Heaven’s Prison for all eternity! Human origin demons like Christian Bale will be sent to Purgatory to be cleansed of their sinful darkness. As the dark demon spirit is chipped away in the ice-cold void amid Ice Demons the human soul is reintegrated in the consciousness mix. Bale will then ascend to the Heavenly afterlife to continue his path to higher dimensional redemption. He will have a chance to ascend to Angelhood and even Godhood status someday. His experiences down the path of darkness will grant him insightful wisdom he would have not otherwise had. Pray for Christian as he continues down this precarious path for the material sake of wealth and stardom!😇
Since 2017 Mystic Investigations has been tracking an ever-growing Sasquatch rebellion. The Bigfoot, sometimes called the missing link, are a distant relative of humankind genetically altered by extraterrestrial’s experimenting with the supernatural in North America. They were the first intelligent species on the continent. These gentle furry giants welcomed the Native Americans who migrated here from Asia and the Pacific Islands. Most tribes saw the Sasquatch as a sacred creature to be revered. Some even worshiped them! The Bigfoot later aided Natives with the new Werewolf threat and later the arrival of European immigrants. Certainly, the Natives and Bigfoot shared the common threat of intolerable invaders. As modern civilization grew the proud Sasquatch people were forced further into the deep forests and mountainous regions. They only wished to be left alone but non-Natives refused to do so! They sought to uncover their secrets and even hunt them down! Eventually, the Bigfoot was somewhat forgotten amid the folklore of other paranormal beings and also unverified tall tales of the great American West.
Things began to heat up again for the Sasquatch courtesy of the infamous 1967 Patterson–Gimlin Film shot in Northern California. This was the re-birth of the Bigfoot research and hunting movements across North America from sea to shining sea. Things only got worse in the 21st century with the advent of ever-increasing convenient photographic tools, tracking equipment, and mass social media. We even have TV shows centered around the hunt for Bigfoot. Sometime in the 2010’s a group of Sasquatch reached out to the small Demi-Bigfoot community for help. Indeed Sasquatch have mated with humans! The Demi-Bigfoot began creating a network to spread the word of a coming war between the Sasquatch and mainstream human society. By 2017 a nationwide effort was underway. The Bigfoot Communications Network is thought to be a combination of modern technology and old world methods that may include Native American smoke signals. The Bigfoot Hybrids most likely handle the technological end as Sasquatch shun sophisticated society in the same way the Amish do.
By early 2018 some minor skirmishes began taking place across the United States with a few in Mexico and Canada. Ultimately local Bigfoot Hunters, private paranormal firms, and the US Paranormal Defense Agency squashed these rebellions that were a direct response to the invasion of Bigfoot privacy. As with all supernatural events the government actively covers up such incidents. On August 14, 2018, things finally came to a head when a bizarre hashtag appeared on social media. The hashtag “mp; saf” was a secret warning code for the government that indicated a serious coordinated nationwide Sasquatch uprising [mp = Major Paranormal / Nationwide. saf = (sa) Sasquatch and (f) = fight.] Thankfully the secret US Paranormal Defense Agency in conjunction with members of the supernatural community repelled the alarming effort to overrun our society!
Since then things have remained somewhat quiet as the Sasquatch regroup and look to reevaluate their plans to rid themselves of dangerous humans! Still, there have been some abductions of people who may prove useful to the Bigfoot cause. It is sad things came to this point as the Bigfoot have been mostly peaceful creatures unless provoked. Clearly, they are no longer on the defensive but now on a major offensive! The Sasquatch are angered by the human invasion of their sacred lands. This is evident in the way they’ve mentored their Demi-Sasquatch kind. Mystic Investigations ran into one with his child at an amusement park recently. Both were rather reprehensible! They believe they are the master race and should inherit our world! That being said there are good Demi-Sasquatch such as a Bouncer named Mr. Altec who works at our local paranormal Club 13. He has been an invaluable informant on the misguided Sasquatch war against humankind!
While the government and various hardcore Bigfoot Hunters now triple their efforts to expose, capture, and kill Sasquatch others like Mystic Investigations work toward brokering peace. In conjunction with our Native American allies, we hope to end this violent crisis and aid in repelling those who would harm the noble Sasquatch. We know many of you have a deep interest in Bigfoot but we implore you to respect their privacy and leave them alone in their remote rural abodes. Only those who commune peacefully with nature may meet the Bigfoot and develop a symbiotic kinship with them if deemed worthy. At the end of the day we can’t grow complacent with the fact that we greatly outnumber these usually gentle giants. Their power is immense and they are immune to magic! They are a titanic force to be reckoned with!
Interesting Fact: The Sasquatch were set to be allied in battle with the Earthly Gods And Goddesses in the War Of Armageddon. However, the Nature Deities aren’t happy with the recent violence between humans and Bigfoot.
The Infamous 1967 Footage That Started The Modern Hunt For Bigfoot!
It is thought that the Sasquatch in this video was actually shunned by his people as an outcast for so blatantly exposing their kind to the world.