PARA-CON: The Paranormal Investigators Conference

Paranormal Investigators ConferenceAfter wrapping up our mission in Pangea, Utah we drove the rest of the way to Las Vegas just in time to catch the last half of the Paranormal Investigators Conference.  We quickly set up our own booth and browsed the others including some talks being given in the various conference halls.  About 60% of the investigators and their firms were quacks either trying to make a quick buck or merely trying to share their loony tune world with everyone.  A few important meetings took place behind closed doors with real investigators.  We discussed many issues including the state of the world and the role of the supernatural in the formation of the tyrannical global government being formed in secret.

The only event that is worth mentioning was an investigator on the paranormal fringe, named Percy Allen, who believes that everything supernatural is evil.  He attempted to expose Drake Alexander to the world as a vampire.  Drake was speaking in a conference hall discussing vampires and it was being recorded for the web.  Percy runs on stage screaming,”He’s a vampire! It’s Holy Water time you filthy undead fiend” while throwing a big bucket of water on Drake and holding a big cross near him.  Apparently the fool blessed the water himself or something because it had no effect on Drake.  As for the cross Drake had trained himself to not cringe at it’s presence anymore but Percy attempted to touch him with it.  Luckily Julia Hathaway had a vision a moment before hand and was already on stage ready to kick the cross out of Percy’s hand.  Hunter Jackson, and I ran up afterward and carted the fool away while he yelled,”He’s a member of the living dead!  He’ll drain your blood!  He’s evil!  An abomination to the Holy Lord I tell you!”

Everyone in the audience was laughing as Drake said,”Damn what the hell did they spike the punch with?”  Then everyone laughed even harder as Carrie handed Drake a towel to dry off.  He continued his speech as we took Percy out back to have a discussion with him.  We tried to reason with him that we fight on the side of good and that he should get a grip and settle down.  He simply wasn’t listening to us and Hunter finally slapped him in the face to calm him down.  He then threatened to call the police and sue us.  We then told him to back the hell off and get a life otherwise we might have to use magic to make him disappear.  Rebecca walked up just then and turned a garbage dumpster invisible with a wicca spell but we said it was thrown in to a dark void of hell.  He then screamed,”WITCH!” with a look of fear on his pathetic little face.  He then ran away down the alley and we didn’t see him again.  Hunter lifted his wallet from his pocket so we could get a look at his drivers license.  Now we know where he lives in Colorado Springs and will be keeping an eye on him.

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