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Internal Mystic Investigations Company Memo Subject: Zack Powers Partying In The Office From: Rob Edmunds, Chief Investigations Officer Of Mystic Investigations To: Xavier Remington, President Of Mystic Investigations Date: Monday, October 24, 2011 Dear Xavier, I came into the office Saturday night around 8 PM to check the paranormal forecast computer command center and saw Zack’s moped out front along with three other vehicles of unknown origin. I found the front doors unlocked for anyone to enter. Once in the lobby I heard pop music of some type blasting throughout the buildings speaker system. As I ventured forth, I could hear the sounds of teenagers yelling, and screaming from the upper level. I entered your office, and found 12 of Zack’s classmates partying with Zack. It appears they were also dipping into your booze cabinet. I advised them that this was not proper behavior for the office and I ordered them all to leave including Zack. One of the larger boys told me to go to hell, and Zack tried to calm him down. It was rather obvious he was drunk as a skunk, and he charged toward me in a rage. Zack was nice enough to cast him back with one finger which caused him to fly over your desk and onto the floor. The crowd immediately disposed from your office, and left the building. I informed Zack that I must report this unfortunate incident, and he then left as well. I think perhaps it would be best if Zack was no longer allowed to possess an office master key since he isn’t using it for its intended purpose. That purpose being to maintain our computer systems, and various other pieces of technology necessary in the battle against supernatural evil. Thank you for your cooperation in this most serious manner. Sincerely, Rob Edmunds Chief Investigations Officer Of Mystic Investigations Internal Mystic Investigations Company Memo Subject: Crappy Slow Charter Communications Broadband Internet From: Pete Talbot, Midwest Regional Manager Of Mystic Investigations To: Xavier Remington, President Of Mystic Investigations Date: Tuesday, October 25, 2011 Dear Xavier, The internet connection constantly cuts in and out for no good reason other than the fact that it can. Naturally, it’s always our fault and never Charter Communications crappy cable lines. I’m supposed to have an 18 mbps download connection and a 2 mbps upload connection. When it is connected it’s usually near the promised download speed. However, it’s barely ever at 1mbps for the upload speed. Please advise us as to what course of action to take. Due to the monopoly, the mega-corporations have in various industries, we have very little choice as consumers. It’s either Charter Broadband or the even slower Verizon DSL. It’s sad that we invented the internet as Americans, and despite this, the South Koreans have speeds 200 times faster at half the cost. I guess it’s just the price we pay living in a corporatist nation. Hopefully, we can get this resolved before Halloween. I’ve enclosed the latest speed test below. Thank you. Sincerely, Pete Talbot Midwest Regional Manager Of Mystic Investigations |