The Movie Elf Is Based On A True Story

The movie “Elf“, Starring Will Ferrell, is the story of an orphaned human baby who is raised as one of Santa’s Elves at the magical North Pole Capital Of Christmas.  An unnamed celebrity in the paranormal community who is a regular guest of North Pole City learned of the true “Elf” story, and then gave the idea to “Elf” Screenplay Writer David Berenbaum.  David then built his own Buddy The Human Elf story around the real one because the rights to the original story are held by Santa Claus, and the Human Elf.  However Santa does give people permission to create similar stories around the true ones. To some extent the Supernatural Secrecy Pact could be in play but realistically nobody would believe such stories are real anyway.

In truth is the real “Elf” was technically Santa, and Mrs.Claus’s first child. Although be it an adopted one.  On Christmas Eve of 1888 Mrs. Holly Claus wanted to come along during Santa’s present deliveries along with the usual three Sleigh Managing Elves who assist Santa.  There are certain dangers with her coming along as she was merely a Human at the time who must be magically protected against the stresses of the flying a light speed-teleportation sleigh. There are also the potential attacks from various dark supernatural beings. Even currently as an Immortal Human these supernatural stresses would still be an issue. The magical protections required things to be slowed down which can also make Santa more vulnerable to the Anti-Claus, Krampus, or other destroyers of Christmas. Since most of these dark Christmas entities where beaten back sufficiently in 1888 it was somewhat safe for Mrs.Claus to join Santa.

Mrs.Claus only came down the chimneys of select places with Santa. That included a religious orphanage in New York City where she greeted some of the babies in their cribs as Santa delivered gifts.  The Priest who ran it actually knew Saint Nicholas so there was no violation of the Supernatural Secrecy Pact.  Mrs.Claus took an automatic liking to one baby in particular and she rocked him gently in her arms.  When it was time to go she asked Santa if they could take the child back to the North Pole to raise as their own.  This was before the Angelic Heavenly hierarchy intervened to grant them children of their own. Immortals such as Santa can’t have children naturally despite an Angel being able to have one Immortal child with a human.  It’s nature’s way of preventing the Earth from being overrun with Immortals thereby overshadowing the predestined story of Humanity.  The Priest had no objection to the adoption but Santa regretfully said he was forbidden from bringing a human to North Pole City who did not find their way there on their own.  This was another amendment of the Supernatural Secrecy Pact.  She was quite melancholy over leaving the child behind in his crib.  Her sobbing in the back of the sleigh made the rest of the delivery schedule a real downer.  The Elves tried to console her but she just couldn’t forget the adorable little baby boy.  However she eventually kept a stiff upper lip and fell silent so as not to hinder Christmas in any way.

Later on during Christmas Morning Santa was enjoying his first post delivery meal. A behemoth of a breakfast fit only for a powerful Human-Angel Hybrid like Saint Nicholas.  Mrs.Claus barely touched her hot cakes laden in peppermint syrup while a plethora of Elves chowed down with glee.  Suddenly everyone stopped inhaling their sugary food as the subtle sounds of a baby cooing could be heard. Santa uttered,”What in the seventh Heaven is that?”  Everyone walked over to Santa’s giant red velvet sack that should have been empty after being drained of all Christmas toys. The bag was moving and suddenly a baby came crawling out smiling at everyone. It was Mrs. Claus’s baby boy from the orphanage! The child had somehow miraculously left his crib and entered the bag in the short span of a minute!  It was discovered years later the Orphanage Priest secretly placed the child in the sack after seeing how much Mrs. Claus loved the child. She scooped the cute baby up in her warm loving arms as she cried tears of joy.  She looked at Santa, and asked,”He found his way here on his own! Can we keep him dear?”  He grinned widely, and told her.”Yes my dear!”  From that moment onward she raised him as their own child, and named him Sandy in honor of Santa’s Father, the Archangel Sarandiel.  Although he spent a great deal of time with Santa’s Elves.  Normally people age extremely slow at North Pole City including Mrs.Claus.  However no human baby had ever lived there for any long length of time.  An unknown variety of supernatural stimuli caused him to rapidly age physically to adulthood by the time he was 12 years old in the year 1900. However he was still mentally a child since his friends were all child like Elves.

Thankfully he had acquired Elfin immortality by then and would not age another day. Santa wanted to give Sandy purpose so he allowed the Elves to train him from an early age.  At some point he began to believe he was an Elf, and nobody contradicted him.  Such belief in something by an innocent child in the hallowed heart of the holy winter wonderland makes dreams come true.  The human boy Sandy began manifesting various Elf abilities such as immortality, enhanced strength, speed, senses, and mastery of toy creation among other talents.  At 6’1″ he was a giant among the 2-3 foot tall Elves.  His greater size made for greater powers.  Unfortunately his large size also created various awkward situations such as entry into tiny Elf only homes and buildings.  However he was given full size tools and a work-space to accomplish his toy making duties unlike Buddy in the “Elf” movie. He also easily won every ice hockey game and snowball fight. These are the number one sports among Santa’s Enchanted Elves.  That, and the accidental crushing of a few Elf homes led to Sandy overhearing some Elves question if he should even be there since he was a Human.

Sandy confronted his adoptive Father Santa.  He, and Mrs.Claus sat down with Sandy to give him the news he was adopted, and was originally a human.
Despite that Santa made it clear he was their real son brought to them by the Spirit Of Christmas.  He had also grown into a real Elf and should no longer consider himself human.  Sandy was content for a time but in 1909 with the birth of Santa and Holy Claus’s first biological son, Nicholas, Jr., Sandy became somewhat disenchanted. He decided to return to the human world in 1911 to find his real parents.  As a Demi-Angel Santa could look into anyone’s mind and see who their parents were. Sandy learned that his very young parents had him out of wedlock which was a deep shame at the time.  The respective families forcibly separated his parents and put Sandy in an orphanage.  Both his Father and Mother had very unhappy lives thus far as they were meant to be together.  Sandy’s Mother, Ellen Hemingsworth, was apart of an affluent New York City family who arranged a marriage for her to another wealthy clan.  Her husband, Percy Hemingsworth, was a horrible cad who cheated on her, and was only in the marriage to increase his family’s power, and position in life.  Sandy’s heartbroken Father, Patrick Forrester, was disowned by his own working class family, and run out of town so they wouldn’t be blacklisted from working at local factories.  He headed out west and became a cowboy who never married because he was still hopelessly in love with Sandy’s mother.

Sandy was given a mystical snow globe by Santa that allowed him to open various portholes. In a flash he was out West in a small Colorado town called Woodland Springs. Current home of Mystic Investigations, the creators of this website!  He found his father on a cattle ranch.  Without blood and DNA tests it took some time to convince Pat Forrester he was his son. Thankfully his mystical Elf powers aided him and they bonded for some years.  Sandy didn’t reveal where he had been raised as per the Supernatural Secrecy Pact along with being told by Santa he would be branded a nut burger without proof he wasn’t allowed to produce.  Although in defense of life one can reveal their paranormal powers.  This happened when a violent gang of psychopathic cattle rustlers attacked the ranch in the winter of 1913. Everyone would have surely died if Sandy had not single handedly repelled them. Mostly via dense high speed snowball throwing.  Being beaned with a 100 mph wet packed snowball can mess a person up real good! Sandy was also forced to display other Elfin abilities such as super strength when he tossed a few rustlers around. This caused the formation of glittering Elf Dust to emanate from him.  He finally told his Dad he was an Elf. Knowing such magic existed inspired him to take his son back East to reclaim his true love. They traveled there instantly via Santa’s paranormal porthole activated by the magical snow globe.

In New York City, Christmas 1913 was approaching as Sandy finally convinced his Mother he was her son.  She demanded a divorce from Percy Hemingsworth as she fell in love
with Pat Forrester all over again.  However the abusive cad of a husband send thugs after Father, and Elfin Son.  The thugs that were then dispatched Christmas style by Sandy!  A divorce was denied by everyone as Sandy’s Mother Ellen was whisked away to England in the dead of the night.  Father, and Son managed to find out where she was but the magical snow globe porthole was only programmed to go to Woodland Springs, Colorado, New York City, and back to North Pole City.  Sandy was going to return to the North Pole with his Father to ask Santa for help but it was Christmas Eve and they spotted him in the skies above bellowing,”Ho ho ho Merry Christmas!”  Santa sensed Sandy’s presence below and landed in some woods nearby.  After hearing what happened Sandy and his Father hopped in the sainted red sleigh, and flew away to England in a flash!

Santa tried to calm Sandy and Pat down as they walked toward the front door of a the British Hemingsworth mansion.  Sandy’s Father Pat demanded,”Kick the door in Son!” As he belted two attacking guards across the face.  Santa stood behind saying,”Oh sweet Lord you must turn the other cheek my sons!”  However a third guard came behind Santa and swatted him in the head with a billy club.  Santa swung around and inadvertently belted the guard in the face knocking him out cold.  Saint Nicholas leaned over him and apologized profusely while using his Angelic powers to heal the man. He also simultaneously put him into a deep sleep to prevent further interference.

Sandy kicked in the door and his Father got into an epic fist fight with the abusive cad Percy Hemingsworth.  As Sandy hugged his mother he yelled,”Let him eat floor Dad!” After healing the other two guards, and putting them into a deep sleep, Old Saint Nick strolled in with an uneasy smile. He then easily pulled the two brawling men apart with his titanic Angel strength! His supernatural voice bellowed loudly,”Enough of this insane violence! This is Christmas Eve for the love of God!”  Sandy pleaded with Santa that his parents should be together as the wealthy cad said he had every right to keep his wife and demand everyone leave his property.  Santa reluctantly agreed but then recited some important words,”I Saint Nicholas in my holy capacity of Heavenly Ambassador hereby make this unholy marriage null and void in the eyes of the Holy Lord and Savior of the Universe! Amen!” Percy Hemingsworth angrily attempted to punch Santa in the kisser as he exclaimed those words meant nothing because he had marriage papers.  Santa restrained him and said,”All papers and records of this marriage have been supernaturally disintegrated.  You are no longer married and you will continue to be on my Naughty List for the rest of your life no doubt!”

Santa placed the pathetic Percy into a deep sleep as Sandy’s parents embraced and kissed.  The joyous family used the snow globe to travel to North Pole City with Santa’s blessing.  Santa finished his Christmas deliveries and near Noon on Christmas Day, at Saint Nicholas Church in the witness of several Elves, Sandy’s parents were married by Father Christmas himself!  To this very day Sandy and his parents still reside at North Pole City.  Sandy still makes toys part time but he discovered he was even more talented at baking. Something he learned from his adoptive Mother Mrs. Holly Claus who is probably the greatest Chef on Earth! Utilizing this talent he runs his own establishment Sandy’s Sugar Shack.  A shoppe of sweet confections since he has an insane sweet tooth like most Elves do.   He runs the shoppe with his parents who not only age very slowly in the supernatural atmosphere of North Pole City but are also kept young by other mystical measures.  Mystic Investigations has had the pleasure of meeting the largest and virtually the most powerful Elf next to the Chief Elf.  On our recent visit to North Pole City we enjoyed the sinfully sweet candies, donuts, cakes, and other treats Sandy baked for us!

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