Who Are The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s?

The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s are a famous team of American paranormal warriors that originated in 1830’s Texas. These magnificent bastards really came into their own in the Wild West of the late 1800’s. In the 21st century they’re best known for talking down the infamous Jason Voorhees of Friday The 13th fame back in 1999. The Metanatural’s are mostly made up of talented humans, superhuman’s, and even some paranormal beings. They are largely comprised of the descendants of past members with minimal outside recruitment into their tight knit ranks. The Leader Is Jake Crockett, a descendant of the fantastical folk hero frontiersman Davy Crockett. Davy himself was considered the first Ten Gallon as he became the natural leader of the then Secret Fraternal Society Of Frontiersmen, aka SFSF when spoken about in the presence of non-members.

The Secret Fraternal Society Of Frontiersmen

The SFSF’s main objective was taking down the ever growing supernatural scourge in Texas. The group was very small and localized until after the Civil War when the great plains land rush seriously increased the human and paranormal population of the wild west. The Secret Fraternal Society Of Frontiersmen merged with various other organizations, mainly made up of cowboys battling the forces of evil. It was only then they finally became The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s. The term Ten Gallon Hat only came into mainstream use in 1925 but their secretive organization first utilized the term in 1872. The late 1800’s into the early 1900’s was considered the heyday of the grand group as they cleaned up the old west of unwanted vampires, werewolves, zombies, poltergeists, dark magical practitioners, and all manner of metaphysical malevolence. Thanks to them we only have stories of cowboys, gun fighters, gold miners, ranchers and Native Americans rather than paranormal pandemonium.

The Take Down Of Jason Voorhees

Somewhere in a secluded Texas woodland a lake side summer camp experienced the horror of Jason Voorhees on Friday, August 13, 1999. The various residents of the summer camp foolishly, as a joke, renamed their lake “Crystal Lake” after having a Friday The 13th Movie Marathon. It certainly caught the real Jason’s attention and a horrifying killing spree took place there after. Thankfully, the most talented psychic member of the Ten Gallon’s caught a vision of Jason. That’s when the supernatural specialists swooped in before too much carnage took place. Jason had slayed two camp counselors and a teen camper before finally being taken down with extreme prejudice!

Metanatural Warriors Deal With The Crazed Voorhees Cult

The Metanatural’s battled several Voorhees Cult Members, including the Dark Witch Cult Leader Secilia. These fanatical freaks were all willing to die for their pseudo-god Jason! By the end of the night Voorhee’s zombified corpse was beheaded and doused in holy oil. For good measure it was also lit ablaze with holy fire under the supervised blessing of a powerful Priest. They also performed an exorcism to finally target the patron Demon behind Jason. Immediately after Jason’s apparent death the US Paranormal Defense Agency swooped in to do the usual supernatural scrubbing of the media, local authorities, and any enchanted evidence left behind.

Current Status Of The Ten Gallon’s

The Metanatural’s are some of the most wanted individuals in the evil side of the supernatural community in the Western United States. You build up a lot of enemies when you battle the forces of darkness relentlessly for nearly 150 years! They keep a very low profile when possible and have a hidden headquarters in the heart of Texas. You can’t just go visit their Texan stronghold in the same way you can visit our offices here at Mystic Investigations. They still mainly do battle with blasphemous behemoths in the old west but travel to other areas every so often. After learning of Jason’s physical resurrection on Friday, November 13th, 2015 they released the following short statement to the supernatural community:

“We will hunt the blasphemous bastard Jason Voorhees down like the mangy man eating dog that he is! Then we’re coming for his demented Voorhees Cult next!  We destroyed him once before, and we’ll do it again! We will travel to the ends of the Earth if need be! The Ten Gallon Hat Metanaturals will not rest until Jason goes straight to Hell!”

Unfortunately, thus far Jason has eluded them on the various Friday The 13th’s he’s surfaced to deal his deadly blows to youthful humankind! Thankfully, the Ten Gallon’s, and the rest of us in the paranormal community, have kept his carnage to a minimum. We’ve also drastically reduced the reach of the vexing Voorhees Cult and their malicious machinations throughout the years in master Jason’s name! Outside of Voorhee’s Hunting The Ten Gallon’s have been at the forefront of keeping Texas safe from things that go bump in the dark shadows. There they have been known to work closely with the far less secretive Texas Supernatural Anti-Terror Society.

Mystic Investigations Link To The Ten Gallon Hat Metanaturals

Mystic Investigations Executive Vice-President and 700 something vampire Drake Alexander has had the pleasure of fighting alongside the Metanaturals every so often. Particularly back in the Old West. Drake is one of the few non-members allowed to aid in their quest to cleanse all things diabolical from west of the Mississippi. They’ve offered him membership a number of times but Drake likes to keep his options global. Through Drake we’ve had a few cooperative efforts with the Metanaturals in eradicating various paranormal threats. Hopefully one, or all of us together, will finally wipe the Earth clean of the Voorhees menace once and for all!

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Friday The 13th


Friday The 13th spawns Paraskevidekatriaphobia, or more simply the fear of Friday The 13th. This also coalesces with a more ancient fear of the number 13 known as Triskaidekaphobia. These frights foment into a sub-conscious spirit within the human collective consciousness causing increased bad luck and dark metaphysical energies.  In essence any luck of a dark sort on Friday The 13th is caused by so many humans believing it to be so! This is why it’s the ideal day to place curses upon those who have wronged you!

Filthy Fiends Who Feed Off Fear!

Naturally fear and misfortune in the human arena bring out all manner of nefarious paranormal beings that may include dark spirits, poltergeists, demons, evil practitioners of magicClurichauns(Dark Leprechauns), The Friday The 13th Demon Specter, and even the infamous Jason Voorhees! Indeed the Friday The 13th films are based on the true story of a supernatural serial killer! Ultimately, beings such as Dark Anti-Leprechauns relish in any day that grants the fear fuel they crave. Creatures who in turn spread more frightful fortune across the world!

The Master Curse Of Friday The 13th

Some claim that the Omniverse God himself placed a curse on Friday The 13th nearly 2000 year ago. This because humans killed his Demigod Son Jesus Christ on that day. No enchanted evidence of this curse has been found. However it would be difficult to detect if initiated by such a high level God. It would be too deeply interwoven in the very fabric of our reality. If it’s true then this would further stoke the bad luck and fear already existing on this dark day.

Friday The 13th Related Posts Across Our Website

Future Friday The 13th’s

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Did Santa Claus Ever Fight Jason Voorhees?

Friday, October 13th, 1989

Santa Claus’s battle with Jason Voorhees amid the 1989 Halloween season took place in Ohio. Santa ended up saving a group of teenagers who decided to spend a spooky Friday The 13th night at an abandoned summer camp. Naturally, they thought it was all good fun to invoke the nefarious name of Voorhees thinking he wasn’t real. To their shock they found out he was very real! Jason then went after them with a murderous vengeance! Their shrill screams echoed through the cold shadowy woods as they found themselves in a living horror movie!

The first potential victim was about to be slain by a sharp implement as his friends looked on in terror. They tried to intervene but were easily tossed aside by the living dead menace. Frozen in fear they prepared to witness their friends death and flee into the dark forest. At that moment Santa Claus rushed from the brush and punched Jason in the face so hard he flew right through a tree losing his blade in the process! Santa screamed, “Run my children and don’t ever look back!” Indeed they scurried away and made it safety home.

Santa had been in the area dropping off Elves who were scouting locations to hide magical energy reserves and mystical traps. These are essential in dealing with the Anti-Claus and his annual attacks during Santa’s Christmas Eve gift delivery’s. Jason arose and stomped toward Santa with intent to kill! Father Christmas held his hand forth and said, “Jason you still have a shed of child like innocence in you! You were never allowed to grow up!” I can release you from your demonic bonds if you allow me to infuse The Spirit Of Christmas within your dark heart while I introduce some of my soul to heal you. If you do this then you have my solemn promise that together we will march into the bowels of Hell and free your Mother from bondage! Despite both your crimes against humanity you can be redeemed and find peace in Heaven someday! Take my hand and begin the journey into your salvation. End this nightmare for all concerned my son!” Read The Rest Of This Horrifying Tale On Our Christmas Blog…