Santa Penguins March Forth For Christmas


Adorable Penguins in Japan spread the Spirit Of Christmas forth in good cheer. The merriment of the little fellas dressed as Santa Claus brings joy to all! On Penguin falls behind the group and then attempts to flee the scene as his love lies with Halloween. LOL!

Posted in Animals, Christmas | Tagged | Comments Off on Santa Penguins March Forth For Christmas

Does Santa Get My Letters?

santaletterThe unbelieving postal services of the world generally consider kids letters to Santa Claus as undeliverable fantasies. This includes the US Post Office, a quasi-agency of the United States Government, secretly sends most of the letters to a dead mail center for destruction. However, the letters mysteriously disappear each year. Secret levels of the US government including the PDA (Paranormal Defense Agency), FBI, and CIA continue to investigate what happens to these letters. Interestingly enough, the Paranormal Defense Agency is aware of Santa Claus but believe he is a paranormal threat rather than a benevolent Angel-Human Hybrid. Some actually think he’s an alien! The US Government places Santa Claus as number one on their Ten Most Wanted Paranormal List as they considered him an unauthorized invader into their air space! There is also evidence of his extraordinary powers that could in theory compromise the security of the government and possibly be used in a coup attempt. Yes the government is being quite silly about this!

Santa utilizes a combination of direct teleportation magics and Elves funneled through sophisticated paranormal portals to confiscate the letters that the Post Office intends to destroy. Every single letter makes it to Santa’s desk much in the same way every prayer reaches God.  His supernatural powers allow him to read each one, and he may sometimes reply thereby skirting the Supernatural Secrecy Pact.  Some post offices also have a program that sends the letters to various kind-hearted people and charitable organizations under the Operation Santa Program.  Some parents also intercept the letters before the postal delivery person collects them.  Santa approves of parents presenting presents in his holy name under the noble umbrella of the Christmas Spirit! Ultimately, every letter received by the North Pole City Post Office ends up in the prestigious Hall Of Letters for eternal posterity!

Posted in Christmas, Santa Claus | Tagged , | Leave a comment

What Does Santa Claus Do On Friday The 13th?

Santa Claus Saint NickSanta Claus certainly doesn’t have to worry about Friday The 13th  and all the bad luck associated with it. This is due to him being a Demi-Angel, and Angels are even luckier than Leprechauns!  There’s also the fact that his sainted North Pole City is a bastion of good luck.  It’s one of the top good fortune centers on Earth. Second only the Capital Of Good Luck and home of the Leprechauns known as Lucky Lake. The largest natural wishing well on the planet. There are also various enchanted energy centers around the world related to the heart of our world Goddess Gaia Mother Earth.

Friday The 13th Past

Here we will post any future updates related to Santa Claus and anything he did on this dark luck day.

Friday, December 13, 2013 – The Demon Specter
While taking his sleigh on a test run on the night of Friday The 13th in 2013 a most disturbing cry for help crept into Santa’s mind. Being part Angel he can hear prayers or pleas for help from a great distance. Since many humans are in pain he has to block them out. Only a high-level God can take the mental pressure of bearing the emotional anguish of all souls! There’s also the fact that he is bound to some extent by the selective non-interference policy of Heaven and of course the Supernatural Secrecy Pact. However, Santa has been known to carefully violate both when it comes to saving human lives!

On this night he heard a couple in bed literally paralyzed in fear as the Friday The 13th Demon Specter attacked them. A Specter finally eradicated in 2015 with a little help from us here at Mystic Investigations. Santa immediately landed his sleigh on the couple’s roof and entered the house via chimney shimmering. Once inside he rushed upstairs to check on their son and daughter sleeping silently. Luckily the sinister specter never bothers kids as their innocence is too much for his pure evil to bear!

Santa tried to enter the parent’s room but the door was supernaturally sealed shut even under his immense angelic strength. He then employed Enochian angel magic to burst through the door in a blinding holy light that caused the foggy black specter to actually scream and scatter briefly. Almost instantly the black smoke transformed back to its vaporous skeletal form complete with glowing crimson eyes. It floated toward Santa while sending forth wayward waves from its body that were the usual dark metaphysical energy to instill fear and pain.

Santa swallowed and inhaled the dark vapors while smiling. Although he burped and said,”Excuse me Rudolph eyes!” The Specter wasn’t amused and threatened,”I don’t know what manner of entity you are but your death is at hand!” Santa chuckled,”Ho ho ho leave this innocent family alone and be gone you blasphemous beast!” The Specter screamed in anger and turned into a tornado engulfing Santa Claus.  Santa inhaled the entire Specter and then froze with eyes closed as an internal mental battle took place.

Within Santa’s mind, the demon and demi-angel appeared to engage in a good old-fashioned fist fight. As they fought Santa attempted to turn it’s dark metaphysical matter and energy into that of angelic light. The demon was merely trying to kill Santa! However, every cell in the Great Claus’s body was bright with energized holy light! So he focused most of his power on possessing Santa’s mind. Despite his efforts, the demon saw nothing but strength, good cheer, and justice dancing amid sugar plum fairies. There was nothing to exploit in this holy man’s mind. The demon was trapped as he felt every fiber of his evil being succumbing to Santa’s awesome power!

In a last-ditch attempt to escape he coalesced into a dense ball in Santa’s lungs and caused a gargantuan cough followed by a super sneeze that blew a huge hole out the side of the house. The Specter flew away into the dark starry skies to heal before haunting humanity again. Santa was weakened to an extent and couldn’t go after him.

Rudolph saw the demon fly off and declared,”Holy Cow!” Thankfully, the couple in bed was out cold from the demon and would probably assume it was an odd shared nightmare. That is after Santa and an Elf in the sleigh repaired the wall. They then left and returned to the North Pole to recuperate and reflect on the horrifying incident!

Friday, January 13th, 2012 –  Claus Family Road Trip
Santa is on vacation with Mrs. Claus, and family after his hard work delivering Christmas gifts. This includes the annual battles against the Anti-Claus as he attempts to derail Christmas.  The Claus Family is traveling about North America on a road trip in an RV. The entire trip was delightfully uneventful in a supernatural sense! Every so often Santa wants to live like a human and have his seemingly perpetually young kids experience a normal childhood as well. Today on Friday The 13th, 2012 Santa Claus is at CES, The Consumer Electronics Show, at the Las Vegas Convention Center in Las Vegas, Nevada browsing new high tech Christmas gifts for future holiday seasons.  Naturally, he keeps a low profile outside of the Christmas season so he’s traveling incognito under the name Kris Kringle.  He dyes his hair brown and trims his beard short.  In addition, he wears normal clothing although he tends to mostly wear red, white, and sometimes green clothes.  There have been no reports of bad luck at CES most likely due to Santa milling about the crowd spreading good cheer. Usually, a few Gremlins like to show up to mess around with the gadgets.  If you feel a vibe of goodness from a bearded man and think you’ve known him all your life then you may have in fact had a rare brush with old Saint Nick!

Friday, October 13th, 1989 – Jason Voorhees
Santa’s battle with Jason Voorhees amid the Halloween season. To be written about at a later date.

Friday, June 13th, 1913 – Dark Leprechaun Deals
Santa saves an innocent man from making a dark deal with a Clurichaun, aka evil Leprechaun.

Posted in Demons, Santa Claus | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

What Did Santa Claus Do On Easter?

Santa Claus and his wife Holly Claus began Easter morning by welcoming approximately 100 lucky children to an Easter egg hunt at North Pole City.  These kids were chosen by raffle from a pool of thousands. Those whose parents are members of the paranormal community from all around the world.  Many of us in that secret community get the privilege of getting glorious gifts from Santa at Christmas, and sometimes being invited to special North Pole events hosted by the great Father Christmas. This as a reward to the unsung heroes who battle the forces of supernatural evil in the shadows just out of view of the average human.

The egg hunt is apart of the Enchanted Easter Festival which includes a variety of rides, games, and refreshments not seen anywhere on Earth! The apex is the Sunday night Easter banquet where the Easter Bunny himself is invited as the guest of honor. The top 3 winners of the Easter Egg Hunt get to spend a week at Claus Manor as Santa’s personal guests along with a special late afternoon Easter luncheon with the Easter Bunny.  There’s also a sleigh ride to the Easter Bunny’s hidden Easter Village in the Black Forest of Germany.  No matter who wins all children get an elegant Easter basket full of toys made by Elves and treats directly from the Easter Bunny.  Among the festivities, the Easter bunnies baby chicks, and baby bunny helpers hop happily about playing with the kids.

At Noon Santa hosted a luncheon amid a green spring garden full of iridescent flowers magically produced in the middle of the Arctic by his Leprechaun friends with aid of the Easter Bunny emissaries.  Cups ran over with Easter eggnog, and plates piled high with mystical non-meat ham, Cadbury Eggs, chocolate Easter Bunnies, jelly beans, marshmallow Peeps, and a plethora of other treats. The kids were allowed to eat as much as they wanted because nobody gets sick or injured within the sacred walls of Santa’s magical North Pole City.  Children with chocolate smeared on their faces went on a feeding frenzy as they screamed with glee over the tons of candy they went crazy for! Santa and the Easter Bunny stood nearby laughing heartily! It was a delightful day of fantastical fun!

Although Santa was always present the Easter Bunny would pop into one of his wondrous rabbit holes to instantly appear somewhere on Earth to hide eggs, attend to important Easter business, and also hold his own holiday festivities at Easter Village in Germany. This little guy really gets around. Thankfully he finished most of his egg hiding that morning. Easter Monday would be another round of Easter celebrations at the Bunny’s village. Santa Claus and his family would be in attendance.

As nightfall approached a dazzling fireworks display lit the Arctic skies amid an amazing magically induced Aurora.  Santa then gave a rousing Easter speech before introducing the Bunny Man himself to instill the Easter Spirit within everyone in amazing attendance.  A number of people would be staying the week while others got into their planes, sleighs, or magical portals to go to the Easter Bunny’s Village, or head home to continue their quest to aid humankind, and halt the nefarious forces of darkness!

The Story Of The Easter Bunny
The Easter Bunny is named Eggbert, and he is the world’s only known Werehare. His human form is limited to Christmas but he may take a normal bunny form of any color, or 6 foot tall anthropomorphic bipedal rabbit form at will.  Although certain factors may force him into various bunny forms just as the Full Moon turns some humans into Werewolves.  Eggbert always fought against the forces of darkness until he met his match in Santa Claus’s evil twin brother, aka The Anti-Claus, and his dark coven of Witches. They eradicated him with extreme prejudice but through a cruel twist of fate resurrected him as an immortal bunny so they could torment him for daring to take them on! Santa Claus intervened and used his Heavenly influence to make Eggbert a Saint thereby granting him extra special powers. This unusual set of circumstances transformed him into a werehare. The conditions of his Sainthood were that he must live out the rest of his life with the supposed hardship of the spell cast upon him. Fortunately, he loves being a little or sometimes a big bunny man. So it ended up all good in the end! This is why he can only be human on Christmas courtesy of Santa Claus, and the Spirit Of Christmas. Happy Easter To All And To All An Excellent Egg Hunt!

Posted in Easter, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus | Leave a comment