The Mardi Gras Joker Was Nearly Captured By Two Elves!

The Demi-Angel Santa Claus has become increasingly concerned with a Super Villain called The Mardi Gras Joker. A jester looking Voodoo Master who operates out of New Orleans who has officially taken over the holiday of Mardi Gras. He continues to stoke the dark flames of damnation that have dominated the holidays Spirit in recent decades. His goal is to bring about a global chaotic Party Apocalypse that would be a nightmare like The Purge films! 24-7 non-stop madness devoid of any morality! Santa sent two of his best Elf Agents down to New Orleans on Mardi Gras to look into this nefarious denizen of darkness. The Elves reported back to Santa they had the target in sight and were ready to capture him.🃏

The Humane Imprisonment Of The Joker

The intent was to turn the Mardi Gras Joker over to us here at Mystic Investigations who would, in turn, transport him to the great Sorcerer of the light known as Ian McTavish. He runs a world-renowned magic school out of Scotland. He also has a paranormal prison to contain threats the mainstream governments couldn’t handle. So the Elves stealthily made their way into his lair within the sewers of Orleans. They easily evaded his minions and found the filthy fiend asleep in a chamber built off the sewer system.🤡 Read The Rest On Our Christmas Blog…

What Three Wishes Can’t A Genie Grant?

Genies are the most infamous supernatural wish granters in all the Universe! They are the nefarious Jinn from another dimension who are bottled or lamped up by the forces of good to protect our reality. Unfortunately, it’s often difficult to return stubborn Jinn to their own plane of existence. Not to mention they are nearly impossible to kill! So magically trapping and binding them becomes the only option. Any person who releases a Genie from their lamp or bottle becomes the Master who is granted three wishes. After that is complete the Genie is forced back into their tiny prison once again. That being said it’s a merciful prison in which the Genie can use their own powers to indulge in a fantasy world of their own making. Something essential to prevent them from going crazy!🧞‍♂️

What’s The Purpose Of A Genie Granting Wishes?

Genies granting wishes can simply be seen as a scenario to be played out in the grand mathematical scheme of things within the mind of the Omniverse God.  Really though, Jinn have enormous metaphysical energies within them that can build up to explosive levels over time. The wish-granting releases that power in a safe controlled manner to prevent the equivalent of a supernatural nuke going off.  If a Genie bottle or lamp isn’t activated by a Master within 1000 years then the Genie gains enough power to destroy their own bottle and escape! At that point they are no longer bound to the bottle or lamp. However, they may be trapped again by a Genie Hunter or Jinnologist.

The Universal Limits For All Wish Granters

Genies are known as one of the few paranormal beings who can grant just about any wish. Others include Angels, Demons, and various Gods including some Nature Deities. Although, Leprechauns are the second most famous wish givers, their wishes are based on Luck. Most of these beings have limits on their wish granting abilities. Wishes that would affect things on a large scale, including the planet, or Universe, cause the wisher to be sent to a Parallel Universe where their wish is a reality.  Beyond that, there are three wishes nobody is allowed to make. A Genie is magically bound to never grant these wishes under the Universal authority of the Supernatural Secrecy Pact.  They are as follows:

The Three Wishes A Genie Cannot Grant

  1. No Death Wish – You cannot wish anyone directly dead. The Genie can’t kill people. They can’t work around this by casting Curses or other magical malevolence leading to death. You can’t wish for someone else to kill someone. However, you can wish to go to a Parallel Universe where a particular person died, or never existed, to begin with.⚰️
  2. No Higher Dimensional Transformation – You cannot wish to be a higher dimensional being such as a God, Angel, Demon, Genie, etc.  However, you can wish to change places with the Genie to free them thereby damning yourself to eternal imprisonment, and intermittent servitude. Utilizing the power of free will and the human soul there is a power transfer. The freed Jinn is effectively made a powerless human while you become a Genie!  In addition, you can wish to be certain biological paranormal beings in this dimension.  This may include being a superhuman, an immortal, vampire, werewolf, zombie, fairy, leprechaun, etc.  This doesn’t include various unique beings like Santa Claus who is half Angel, or some other fractional form of a higher dimensional being such as a Demigod. Consult your Genie for more information. They must tell you the truth but at the same time, they don’t have to volunteer any or all information.👼
  3. No Infinite Wishes – You cannot wish for more wishes otherwise known as Infinite Wishes.  You may not cheat by making your three wishes, disposing of the bottle or lamp, and then reclaiming it again. Nobody can become a “Master” a second time with the same Genie. And even if by some astronomical fluke you found another Genie, Universal rules would cause them to reject you! Making Genie wishes leaves a metaphysical imprint on your soul! Three wishes are your limit for life!  You can, however, wish the Genie to be your servant for life making you a perpetual master.∞

The Perpetual Master And Servant Wish

The Perpetual Master Clause in the Universal Genie Accords allows for continued release of a Jinns power. The Genie’s magic for this wish is confined to menial tasks such as cleaning up your home, making you dinner, repairing things, etc.  So in a way, you can get infinite wishes but they’re not anything that great. Of course, you are saving time, and money every day.  Many people don’t know about this loophole. The Genie will tell you what three wishes you can’t make but he or she will not share the “Servant Clause” with you because they loathe the servant scenario most of all. They’d rather be trapped alone in their prison for hundreds of years than serve you for life.  At least in their bottle, they can manufacture a rather realistic dream world to live in. There’s also the fact that virtually every Genie hates humankind and blames them for being trapped in their prison! Naturally, they brought it upon themselves by bringing chaos to our dimension and drawing attention to themselves to begin with!

The Perpetual Protection And Immortality Loophole

You can gain great advantage by holding off on making all three wishes and enjoying the protection of the Genie. He or she is bound by Universal Law to protect you from all harm until you complete all three wishes. However, they can’t kill anyone even if it is to protect you. All they can do is neutralize the threat for any given situation. Interestingly enough, they must prevent your death so you may carry out the wishes. Theoretically, you could never make the wishes and live forever! You would gain immortality by default without the risk of making wishes! That being said there’s nothing compelling them into keeping you youthful. Still, you may live long enough to see the medical science and technology find the cure for aging thereby saving you a wish!

Genies Love To Twist Wishes In A Malicious Way!

Now you know how to fully utilize your wishes if you’re lucky enough to happen upon a Genie in your lifetime. Just remember to carefully word your wishes because Genies are notorious for twisting your words in a diabolical way. For instance, we have the quintessential wish for money. If you just ask for a billion dollars then it could very well be stolen from a bank or even worse dangerous criminals! It could also be stolen from you or somehow be lost once you get it! There was a notorious case some years ago where the money of a Genie’s wish came from a major drug cartel. The Genie purposely created a paper trail leading back to their Master.  Naturally, a hit was placed on the person. They had already used up their three wishes and at that point the Genie was no longer obligated to protect them!  The Genie got revenge by proxy and went back into their bottle with a smug superiority! There’s also an issue if someone discovers you all of the sudden have this money and the IRS becomes involved along with other governmental agencies investigating you!

Wish Wording Is Essential To Keeping A Genie In Line

Clearly, making a Genies wish isn’t just a one sentence thing. It often needs to be a paragraph or more! Even wishing for simple immortality can put you into situations of perpetual never-ending hell! Such as getting locked away somewhere for centuries. You must also take care to include youth in the wish so you won’t be an eternal decrepit entity. Also it must be done in a way so it isn’t considered two wishes. Saying, “I want to be young and immortal forever” is two wishes! The correct maximum phrasing would be,”I wish to be a youthful amortal” You just wished to be not only young for eternity but also incapable of being killed! Amortal is always better than Immoral! Naturally there would be further sentences to thwart potential warping of this wish.

The Bad Luck Brewed By Genie Wishes

Genies wishes have a nasty way of bringing bad luck your way through a perplexing series of domino effect events or even by Karma. There’s also that aforementioned metaphysical imprint the wishes leave on your soul. It naturally attracts dark fortune! That’s why avoiding Genies is best! However, adding a phrase like,”I make this wish with good luck”, is essential to having things turn out in your favor. You need to spend several days, if not weeks, studying your wishes to think of every possible consequence or twist that could be perpetrated upon you. Then word everything perfectly. There’s no time limit or word size on wishes. Also, saving one wish for the future is always a prudent move.

The Magic Of Marvelous Manifestation!

Consult A Certified Genie Specialist Or Paranormal Professional Before Making A Wish!

We recommend contacting a reputable paranormal investigations firm or Genie specialist before making these wishes.  In ancient times people didn’t have such help but in the modern world you can turn to paranormal professionals. They can guide you through the perils of making wishes with unruly angry Genies who detest their forced confinement to bottles, and lamps. Feel free to reply to this post with any Genie related questions. 🧞‍♀️Learn More About Genies & Jinn

Make Money Playing Video Games At Home!

Those who came here under the search term “wish you all genies” must realize you can’t wish everyone was a Genie because that violates number two above.  You can wish somebody was something else but that would simply transport you to a parallel Universe where that person is that way already.  For instance, you can say that you wish everyone on Earth was a vampire, and then you’d be transported to a parallel Earth where everyone is, in fact, a vampire.  Perhaps there was a major vampire uprising, and the planet was overrun with every human ending up transformed or dead. The quintessential Vampire Apocalypse! 

The Supernatural Element Involved In Kurt Cobain’s Death

Kurt Cobain was an influential yet short-lived alternative rock grunge singer musician. Kurt and his band Nirvana became one of the most iconic groups in the 1990’s world of alternative music. On April 5, 1994, he met a premature end by suicide at the age of 27. He left behind his wife Courtney Love, daughter Frances, and millions of heartbroken fans. Quite often the tragic death of especially famous people is hard to accept so some assume they were covertly murdered or faked it. This causes conspiracy theories to fly forth. On the 25th anniversary of his untimely death, we examine the cause of his suicide. It seems something supernaturally wicked wandered into Cobain’s life early on that led to a gradual deterioration in his mental state.

Kurt Cobain’s Imaginary Friend Boddah Was Real!

It had been known that Kurt had an imaginary friend he called Boddah. This entity appeared after the divorce of his parents. The break-up of his family had a profoundly negative effect on him. From there he faced various hardships throughout his childhood into adulthood. Early on when he’d get into trouble he would blame Boddah for it. Such as the incident where Kurt wrote “Kill Your Parents” on the wall at his school. In the end, Cobain’s suicide note was inexplicably written to Boddah. After a lengthy paranormal investigation, we now know that Boddah was a real being of a sinister sort. Plausibly one of the rarest supernatural beings in existence. A metaphysical energy entity known as an Inter-Omniversal Parasite! A breed of beast that specializes in sucking the energy from souls and eventually eating them whole!

The Inter-Omniversal Parasite

Inter-Omniversal Parasites (IOP) are born from certain unique spontaneous random sub-conscious thoughts of Omniverse Gods. We live within a 12 dimensional Omniverse God that is made up of an unimaginable number of Multiverses and Parallel Universes. When these Gods unknowingly have a certain type of thought it forms excess enchanted energy that is propelled into Inter-Omniversal space. At some point, it randomly runs into another God and the Parasite burrows into the Omniverse by matching its metaphysical frequency. As these parasites are born from Gods they are extremely intelligent and are careful to remain in a stealth mode. They are quite different and far more powerful than Omniverse Personifiers who are born in the same manner.

A Sinister Soul Sucker!

The Inter-Omniversal Parasite dives deep down into the Omniverse crossing 5-D probability space. The hyperspace that gives birth to parallel realities. This causes it to multiply into parallel selves that then lead separate destinies in various Parallel Universes. In a way, this makes it a virus but it does no damage to the Omniverse. The creature would eventually be detected by God so it looks to attach itself to a living soul in which it can hide. In particular, it is drawn to the energy of angst-ridden individuals with crazy creativity that often propels them to fame. Clearly, Boddah hit the jackpot with Kurt Cobain as he insinuated itself in his life as an invisible support system. A metaphysical friend who helped Kurt cope with the despair of injustices. A parasite who took a human form only Cobain could see as it took on the vibrational frequency of his soul. A soul Boddah was siphoning nourishing energy from!

Boddah Caused Cobain’s Suicide

Despite Boddah claiming to be Kurt’s friend, he didn’t make anything better. Although, appearances had to be kept up or it would have been possible for Cobain to eject the Parasite via Free Will. Kurt suffered from depression and various painful physical ailments that Boddah could have easily healed. This led Cobain to further rebel and abuse drugs. As the vile Parasite was eating away at Kurt’s very soul his depression gave way to apathy. He felt numb and could feel no joy or enthusiasm for anything in life. He was faking it to make people around him feel good. This was due to his soul nearly being gone! Boddah knew his time in this vessel was coming to a close so he encouraged Cobain to commit suicide. It appears that the violent self-inflicted deaths of the IOP’s host causes enough of a distraction for it escape undetected by the Omniverse Lord. Technically Cobain was murdered by Boddah!

The Connection With The Omniverse Demigod Jesus Christ

Interestingly enough, psychic evidence indicates that an Inter-Omniversal Parasite was responsible for weakening Jesus Christ. Indeed his downfall at the hands of the Roman’s wasn’t an intentional death for humankind’s sins. The parasite fed off the Demigod Jesus’s human soul while energy from the God half attempted to fill in the void. The perplexing parasite tricked Jesus into thinking he was an Angel sent by the Omniverse God to watch over him. Since Jesus was an Omniverse Demigod the enchanted energy would have lasted forever. Unfortunately for the Parasite the Roman’s crucified Jesus and he was forced to leave. Thankfully, he didn’t stick around dormant for 3 days and experience the power rush of the Resurrection! It’s unknown if Christ’s Parasite escaped but some psychics, seers, and mystics suggest it was the same one that infested Kurt Cobain.

What Happened To Kurt Cobain After He Died

Since Cobain’s soul was nearly gone we believe he didn’t initially go to any higher dimensional afterlife. Instead, his consciousness phased into the nearest Parallel Universe where he was still alive. He would then meld with his parallel self with no memory of this life. The cycle of Parallel Universe hopping continues until he reaches a reality where Boddah didn’t take his soul. Only then did Kurt Cobain find peace in the Heavenly afterlife. We know this since Kurt never sold his soul to the Devil like a number of other celebrities. Even if he had tried Boddah would have easily scared Satan away! The current whereabouts of Boddah are unknown. He is presumed to have found new souls to devour until the Omniverse Lord detects and destroys him!