What Is The Christmas Crystal?

Christmas CrystalThe Christmas Crystal is in essence the supernatural power conduit for the very Spirit Of Christmas itself.  It’s the physical manifestation of Christmas itself next to Santa Claus of course. This powerful paranormal crystal channels the Demi-Angel Santa Claus’s pure consciousness along with the human collective consciousness, and the consciousnesses of all good supernatural beings.  The crystal absorbs this massive amount of positive energy, and then distributes it by the wondrous will of Santa Claus.  It fuels the Spirit Of Christmas that instill feelings of selfless giving, and peace among humans open to receive it.  It also distributes power to good supernatural beings calling upon the power of Christmas & Saint Nicholas. The Crystal also has the additional task of powering North Pole City, and all the magic that lies within.

The Crystal Of Christmas was originally a large Angel Aura Quartz Crystal Cluster which is an extremely powerful translucent crystal sparking with iridescent rainbow colors.  It’s said to be created anytime an Angel manifests on Earth.  This particular stone was created by Santa’s Archangel father Sarandiel.  Saint Nicholas truly created global Christmas when he fashioned the crystal into the shape of a Christmas tree, and blessed it as holy with his Demi-Angel Enochian magic.  The Christmas Crystal is considered the most holy object on Earth!  So holy in fact that anyone touching it who is not pure of heart would turn to ash instantly!  Basically that means only Angel based beings, and innocent children can hold the crystal.  Theoretically animals can make contact with it as well.

Santa also affixed a gold star at the top of the Crystal.  A mystical 24K gold star originally created by Santa as a small boy for his mother Marcia.  It contains the magical innocence of Santa’s childhood within it, and it’s what keeps the awesome metaphysical energy equivalent of a trillion suns bottled in the crystal with an even regulated distribution throughout the world.  This is what also makes it the greatest potential doomsday device on Earth.  If it ever fell into the wrong hands, and the energy was released all at once the entire Earth, Sun, Solar System, and even nearby stars would explode into nothing from the Milky Way Galaxy forever!  Don’t worry because this is highly far fetched due to the many redundant supernatural security protocols in place!

The sacred Crystal Of Christmas is located in a secret underground Arctic cavern made of Natural Quart Crystal Clusters.  It acts as a magnifying satellite, and supernatural electrical grid of sorts sending out the Christmas Crystals psychic power while receiving the positive energy of beings around the world in a way that won’t tax the crystal into shattering.  The Crystal Christmas Cavern is guarded by two Enochian Witches dressed in glittering white robes at the entrance.  Witches from Santa’s Enochian Angel magic coven who take turns guarding the cavern 24-7.  Within the cavern itself an enchanted Abominable Snowman, aka Yeti, is the last defense against any unwanted intruders.  Abominable Snowman are genetically bred with evil in their hearts for the most part but Santa took one, and purified him by channeling the pure soul of Frosty The Snowman through the gargantuan furry white beast.  Now he is the only holy Yeti on Earth who also contains the highest level of sentience for such a creature.  The Yeti is immune to magic, and is far more powerful than others of his kind.  A friendly enchanted polar bear, and penguin often keep him company on his guard duties.

The video below was captured by Mystic Investigations bionic boy wonder Zack Powers with Santa standing nearby creating a protective paranormal shield so the film wouldn’t be distorted by the massive electromagnetic field.  As a teen Zack still has just enough magical innocence to withstand being near the consecrated Crystal Of Christmas.

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Santa Claus Prepares For Halloween

Santa Celebrates HalloweenSanta Claus doesn’t just celebrate Christmas but many other holidays as well.  Each year he takes one final break before the Christmas season, and prepares for Halloween celebrations at his enchanting North Pole City winter wonderland.  As the last embers of 24 hour twilight fade, the year round Christmas lights, and decor temporarily come down in mid-September through the first week of November. The quaint cobblestone streets lined with old fashioned shops, eateries, and other places full of small town Christmas nostalgia are transformed into spooky sweetness.  In place of traditional Christmas decor we find orange, dark amber, and black light along with a plethora of other Halloween decor. This includes beautifully carved Jack-O-Lanterns lit with candles sitting on the edge of sidewalks, front stoops, and window ledges.

Santa Claus also magically halts all snow, and has the Elves on strict snowflake clean up duty as they sprinkle autumn leaves collected by Enchanted Reindeer from places in the world where it’s Fall. Sometimes the Reindeer fly overhead to drop leaves, mixed with the glittering magical dust of the enchanted noble beasts, that flutter down lightly upon the people below.  Lucky people who are members of the supernatural community who will get the unique experience of trick o treating in the Christmas Capital of the world! There is also an orphanage of abandoned, and abused kids whose bad memories are wiped clean as they live out the dream of an existence with Santa Claus.  Any child wishing for parents has their memory of North Pole Village suppressed when they’re placed back in the human world with a loving family.  However they will remember again if they ever enter the world of the paranormal, or the afterlife.  For instance simply seeing a real vampire, werewolf, leprechaun, mermaid, or even a zombie will bring the merry memories back.

Santa also temporarily turns his stately Claus Manor, decked with the quintessence of Christmas decor, into a mildly scary haunted manor.  There’s even hints of Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol”. The Elves act as little jokers scurrying about in scary costumes spreading fun frights to the children. Kids that include Santa’s offspring, Nicholas, Jr. and Mary, who are living out what is thought to be the longest childhoods on Earth!  It’s their choice if they want to grow up, and thus far they remain young. They see how happy visiting children are, and sense the hardships their parents face.  So they choose to live out the happiness of a perfect childhood for as long as possible.  Although they do age a bit.  The mischievous elves also enjoy pulling chilling pranks on Santa Claus, and his wife Holly as well.  Santa of course must sometimes teach them a lesson, and scare them a bit as well in as saintly a manner as possible.  What else can be expected from a Demi-Angel elevated to Sainthood? Of course some think that time he pretended to be the Anti-Claus might have went a bit too far.

Old Saint Nick does his part to fuel the Spirit Of Halloween, and marshal the forces of good through the magical innocence of children in order to keep the forces of darkness in check. This is also what the Spirit Of Christmas is about.  Spreading joy, and goodwill while neutralizing all the metaphysical evils built up throughout the year.  On October 13, 2013 Santa spoke with us over the paranormal phone at Mystic Investigations about the upcoming resurrection of the Devil, and the diabolical fathering of the Anti-Christ prophesied for Halloween 2013.  He stated he would join us, and many others to stop this heinous act from occurring.  He said,”I care not if it’s prophesy!  I will fight to prevent this atrocity from occurring!”  Santa then ended the mystical call by saying,”Happy Halloween to all, and to all a frightfully fun night! Boo Boo Boo!” 🙂 Unfortunately both prophecies did come to pass as Santa joined up in the First Battle Of Armageddon! He even found himself injured by his evil twin brother the Anti-Claus. Since then Father Christmas has had an integral role in joining all the forces of righteousness in the continued neutralization of all demonic plots perpetuated upon humankind!

Glowing Jack-O-Lantern

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Are There Any Zombies At North Pole City?

A previous article stated that Santa Claus’s North Pole City was the safest supernatural place to be during the dreaded Zombie Apocalypse. However would you believe North Pole City has had one zombie resident for the past 104 years? It seems a brave Zombie Hunter named Zachariah Lambert was a friend of Santa. He was invited to the North Pole as a reward for his bravery in protecting humankind from the Walking Dead scourge. Unfortunately Zachariah had no idea he had been bitten on his arm that was numb from carrying a heavy sword about a zombie infested forest for days. By the time he walked through the glittering ice gates of North Pole City he was transformed into a zombie!

The Zombie was repelled by the immense holy light of the Christmas Star. A light that comes directly from Heaven. This despite the fact that Zombies are generally not affected by holy artifacts since they have no demonic DNA. The Zombie staggered through an Evergreen Forest, and was spotted by an Elf savoring a candy cane. The enchanted Elf bellowed out in terror,”Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”, and scurried through the snow for help as the zombie followed the poor little guy. The Elf warned some kids playing in the woods, and they all ran toward Santa’s house. They came across the Reindeer Blitzen out for a nature hike, and suddenly he was trotting with the pack of perplexed people! Unfortunately it had been a while since he drank the magical potion that gave him the power of flight!

They came upon Santa chopping firewood in front of his house. They all screamed for help! Only the Elf knew to call the living dead creature a Zombie. Santa looked toward the treeline of the forest, and sure enough there was a zombie staggering toward them like a drunk.  Santa approached the walking corpse with axe in hand ready to do what needed to be done. Indeed he had battled many a zombie over the course of his 1000+ year life! To his shock he quickly identified the gray skinned man as his special guest, and hesitated to eradicate the zombie. He knew the brave soul was now in heaven, and that the body was nothing but a mindless cannibalistic corpse. Santa kept pushing the zombie away with his super Demi-Angel strength. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it!

Santa finally grasped the zombie firmly, and compelled the Spirit Of Christmas to bring peace to the walking dead’s mind. The Zombie stopped growling, and chomping while standing still. Santa stored him in a closet in his workshop to consider what to do next. He devised a clever magical spell to halt the zombies decay process, and blessed the beast holy. Santa then worked with various nature deities to make the zombie immune to extreme long term cold. They worked to keep the zombie virus in a state of dormancy. A process that must be constantly maintained. Instead of the vexing virus, and its hunger for human flesh fueling the zombie, the Spirit Of Christmas would infuse energy into it. The zombie then began only yearn to eat candy, and all things sweet.

To this day Zack The Christmas Zombie roams about North Pole City on the prowl for candy. Generally an Elf keeps him supplied with it off in the woods but every so often he roams into North Pole Village. Naturally he goes after people holding treats. It’s a fun scare for people, and the children scream with glee as he chases them about. Zack is certainly a fan favorite during Halloween! Santa Claus has spoken with Zachariah Lambert’s spirit in Heaven for approval in using his body in this way. Zack thinks it’s hilarious! he believes it’s a safe learning tool for kids, and those not familiar with the zombie threat. Merry Christmas to the most harmless zombie on Earth!


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Santa The Vampire Slayer

A Christmas Horror Story!
Santa Claus has fought his fair share of evil supernatural beings. Not surprisingly he finds a lot of people in paranormal trouble on Christmas Eve as he flies around the world delivering pretty presents, and good cheer. This includes his infamous dark twin The Anti-Claus, and of course the blasphemous blood sucking vampires. He doesn’t enjoy taking down these creatures as he loathes violence of any type. Especially when they are former humans like vampires. However he must do what needs to be done in order to protect innocents from that which lurks in the dark shadows. Everyone thinks it’s impressive he can expedite package delivery in one night. However he’s also stopping multiple times in between to help people. It’s the price of having Angel based psychic abilities, super hearing, and a full array of other enhanced senses! One fateful Christmas Eve in 1966 Santa saved an entire family from a gang of bloodthirsty vamps looking for nothing but instilling terror in the hearts of those with the Spirit Of Christmas in their hearts!

As Santa merrily flew across the starry skies in his red shimmering sleigh full of glittering gifts he bellowed,”Ho ho ho Merry Christmas!” It’s said only animals, small children, supernatural entities, and a handful of others can actually hears this. He descended upon a small town in Wisconsin to begin his deliveries when Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer declared,”Golly gee whiz Santa I smells vampires!” Santa concentrated his own super sniffer to the ground below along with perking his ears up. Suddenly he heard a woman screaming for help, and commanded,”Rudolph down we go to exact sweet justice, and save the innocent!” The two little helper Elves sitting in the back braced themselves as one muttered,”Oh my! Vampires are scary as can be!” The sleigh landed in the backyard that was covered in a half foot of snow. As he hopped out he told the Elves to stay hidden for their own safety. Santa stomped to the back door, and kicked it in totally off its hinges. He strolled into the living room to find seven vampires toying with a family of two parents, a grandmother, and four kids. The father, mother, grandmother had been bitten into. Blood was dripping from their neck. They were still alive crying in horrifying disbelief that vampires actually existed! All the kids were under 12, and had yet to be feasted upon by the fiendish pack of blasphemous beasts. Most likely because the innocent magic within kids can be poisonous to vampires. Only extremely powerful ones could withstand drinking their blood.

Santa startled everyone including the vampires as he screamed,”Let these innocent people go you unholy abominations! The vampires stared in disbelief at first as they gazed upon the towering white bearded figure of the tall heavy set Demi-Angel. Suddenly they all started laughing assuming it was just some old guy in a santa costume. Only royal vampires, and their associates would know Santa Claus is real.  A female vampire sped in from another room making it eight vampires. She ripped off Santa’s coat to reveal an extremely muscular man complete with six pack abs. Everyone gasped at his magnificent body as the female vampires attempted to bite in him. Unfortunately for her she had her fangs snap upon his steel skin. She screamed in pain as Santa tossed her aside, and faced the rest of the vampires who descended upon him growling. The nearest male vampires yelled,”You’ll make a fine meal old man!” Under his breath Santa muttered,”Forgive me sweet Lord for what I must do!”

The kids ran out of the room as the parents, and grandmother staggered away more slowly. The only path not blocked by vampires, tossed furniture, and other damage was up the steps to the second floor. There the family hid in the locked bathroom. Santa easily punched, and kicked the vampire’s off him. Then they all came at him with super lightning speed! All eight, including Miss Fangless, had dog piled on top of him. It looked like the battle was done until a ferocious growl echoed throughout the house. Santa shot up causing vampires to fly all over the living room. One he held upon his shoulders before grabbing his leg with one hand, and swinging about wildly right into the blazing fireplace where he distinitraged into ash instantly. Vampires, and fires never get along well!

Santa could sense the evil in all their demonic hearts. He knew there was no possibility of salvation for these malevolent monsters. He reluctantly realized it was time to slay these cruel animals for the greater good of humankind. He pulled out his lucky silver stake, and got down to business. He plunged the stake, blessed by his Archangel father Sarandiel, into each successive vampires heart with deadly force! Each one proceeded to burst into unholy violet colored flames before becoming an ash pile on the living room carpet. One managed to kick the stake from his hand, and Santa punched his fist straight into his chest pulling out his little dark heart! Once he crushed it in his hand the vampire lit up like a Christmas tree with ash bursting everywhere.

The last vampire quaked in fear while hold his shaking hands out in front of him,”W-w-w-what-What in the hell are you? Santa replied,”I’m the son of an Archangel who walks the humble path of righteousness in the light of the Lord.” The vamp then responded,”Hey man it’s cool! I’m seriously sorry! I’m just going to leave, and we can forget about this whole thing!” Santa shook his head no as he grabbed him by the collar. Santa got a psychic vision of the vampire killing hundreds of people over the course of the next 300 years!  He then told the sniveling blood sucker,”You’re nightmarish existence of unrestrained darkness has come to a close my son! Do you have any last words.” The vampire angrily screamed,”Rot in hell bastard!” Santa then said,”That is a place you shall know intimately within the next five seconds!” Santa opted for a more humane method of vampire eradication by placing his other hand on the vamps forehead while chanting,”By the power of the Spirit Of Christmas I banish you from this Earth!” A bright white light burst from Santa’s hand engulfing the vampire. He immediately turned to an unusual burst of white snowy ash, and never even lit on fire.

Santa surveyed the room now littered with black ash. Suddenly Rudolph peeked in with his nose lit red. He cautiously uttered,”Everything all right in here Santa? The other reindeer told me to check on you.” Santa replied,”Oh of course all is well now my little friend!” A ninth vampire had been down the block, and joined the party way too late. He came up behind Rudolph biting into his neck, and diving his fingernails into his throat. Santa was beyond alarmed as poor Rudolph bellowed in agony,”Oh holy peppermint sticks!”  The extremely angered vampire sensed his friends were all dead, and he laughed maniacally amid declaring,”This freakish deer is dead old man!”  Santa commanded,”Fly Rudolph!” Rudolph levitated speedily into the ceiling sending the vampire through the plaster, and up above the roof over the house. The vampire fell off on to the roof, and slid into the snow on the ground in the backyard. A bloodied Rudolph landed nearby with his red nose flickering erratically indicating physical distress. Rudolph then said,”Get him guys!” The other eight reindeer stomped the hell out of the vampire!

Santa came out the back door as Rudolph limped over touching the vampire in the heart area with his nose. The vamp screamed in agony, burst into fire, and left an ash pile behind that caused Rudolph The Vampire Slayer to sneeze! Santa laid glowing yellow hands upon his faithful reindeer immediately healing all his wounds. The reindeer got back into pre-flight position to prepare to fly away. Santa ordered to the two Elves to make repairs to the house posthaste. Elves are speedy supernatural workers who can build or fix anything a hundred times faster than a human! Meanwhile Santa went to check on the family who had been terrorized by the denizens of darkness he had dispatched with distinction!

Santa Claus found the family shivering in fear huddled together in the bathtub. As he pulled back the shower curtain Santa’s fatherly Angelic smile was like a warm ray of sunshine upon their very soul. He crouched at the side of the tub assuring them all would be well. A little girl asked him if he was really Santa Claus, and he said,”Indeed I am the Father Of Christmas. Fear not ever again for you are now under my eternal protection.” The Great Claus waved his hand slowly while softly whispering that the entire family forget what happened that night. They all passed into a pleasant slumber with delightful dreams of sugar plum fairies. He then used his angelic healing powers to make all well again. Santa gently lifted each one up into his large muscular arms, and placed them in their beds. He paused a bit in one of the boys rooms where the Elves were finishing the repairs on the roof.

The Elves sped around like little blurs cleaning up things as Santa brought the family Christmas tree back to full splendor. He got some gifts from the sleigh, and placed them under the tree with great care.  The Elves completed their tasks, and stood beside Santa in the glow of the hearth as he blessed the home in the name of all that was holy. Never again could vampires and a variety of other nefarious entities gain entry to the home. Even if inadvertently invited in. They left out the back door making sure it was locked securely. Once in the sleigh Santa Claus bellowed gleefully,”On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen. On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen! Fly to the sky Rudolph! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good vampire free night!” Away they flew into the cold starry night to bring Christmas cheer to all the world over!

The End!


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