What Did Santa Claus Do On Saint Patrick’s Day?

Where Does Saint Patrick Physically Materialize On Earth?
Santa Claus Meets LeprechaunOn Saint Patrick’s Day Saint Nicholas, aka Santa Claus, & Mrs.Holly Claus along with their children, Nick, and Mary, traveled to the heart of Ireland to visit the secret stronghold of the Leprechaun’s.  Santa’s normally bright red sleigh was magically tinted green in honor of the luckiest Lilliputians on Earth! The sleigh mystically pulled by nine levitating reindeer flew across sunny Irish skies, and followed a mystical Rainbow to it’s supernatural end. There Santa gracefully landed in a field of shiny shamrocks near the magically cloaked Leprechaun village sometime in the early afternoon. Santa met with the Leader Of The Leprechauns, King Lochlann, who gave the Claus Family the grand tour of their enchanted enclave including Lucky Lake at the center. Lucky Lake is the largest natural magical wishing well on the planet.  The entire lake bed glimmers bright from all the gold coins lining the bottom. Santa threw in his annual ceremonial gold North Pole coin, and made an undisclosed wish. Lochlann then blessed Santa & his holy family with good luck in an ancient traditional Leprechaun luck ceremony in which Santa was presented with a bag of Supernatural Shamrock’s, and Lucky Charms. No we’re not talking about the cereal here folks!

As evening approached Santa Claus changed into traditional Leprechaun garb provided as a gift in an XXXX-Large size.  However The Great Claus still left his trademark red stocking cap on.  At sunset an exalted ceremony of enchantment was conducted to summon the Angel Saint Patrick who is the Patron Saint of the Leprechauns, and all the Irish people. He is the ultimate leader of St. Patrick’s Day who professionally organized the Leprechauns sometime in the 5th century in their mission of spreading global good luck. Before that Leprechauns had mainly stayed in Ireland, and were more concerned with collecting gold which does have a natural attraction of metaphysical luck.  They were originally created by the Irish nature Gods to be miners, and managers of Gold.  From the Heavens in a green sparkling aura of fantastical light, the Angel Patrick descended down past the iridescent sunset as everyone was struck silent in awe of the awesome sight. Saint Patrick materialized wearing a dark emerald silk robe sparking with Shamrocks as a glittering gold halo was just barely visible above his head. King Lochlann, and the other Lilliputians bowed before their patron Saint. Santa, being a half-Archangel, and a Saint himself, walked over to him.  He shook his hand heartily while loudly saying,”Ho ho ho Merry Saint Patrick’s Day our most honored Irish Angel Patrick!” Patrick then replied,”God bless you my saintly brother Nicholas! Everyone in Heaven appreciates all you do to aid the cause of goodness on our fine Lords Earth!” As night fell torches of holy emerald tinted flames were lit. Everyone took a seat at a long glimmering green table with specks of glittering gold in it.  It was supposedly made of “infinite” shamrocks paranormally pressed together amid the luck of saintly shredded gold by Leprechaun, and Elf artisans many centuries ago!  The titanic table was set with pure solid gold dishware in front of a large outdoor amphitheater. The honored guests were served a sumptuous seven course supper. Then some of the Leprechauns put on a stupendous show which included singing, dancing, and magnificent magic.  There was even a special guesting starring appearance from a usually shy Unicorn who was quite jubilant!

As the two supernatural saints ate, and drank green shamrock ale, they discussed the latest metaphysical happenings going on in Heaven, and around the Universe. They even whispered about extraterrestrial worlds in other galaxies humans didn’t have a clue about! There was brief talk of Armageddon, and other serious matters on the state of the paranormal planet. Jolly Old Saint Nick seemed suddenly sullen as the Devil’s name was mentioned as a major player in the coming chaos of the inevitable apocalypse to decide the fate of Earth, and humankind. Talk of his twin brother, the Anti-Claus, caused a visible sadness in Saint Nick. Unfortunately when they started talking about the Omniverse God they began speaking in an undecipherable Angelic language that was even beyond Enochian. It sounded something like a series of mesmerizing melodies more than actual spoken words.  Like a couple of supernatural song birds. The vocalizations put both Mermaids, and Sirens to shame! Santa appeared a bit shocked near the end of the conversation as a gasp was uttered loudly.  A master Leprechaun linguist nearby claims he understood one phrase, “The Darkness“.  Clearly the forces of evil will not be easily defeated!  Luckily the grim talk was brief, and most of the evening was jolly joking, and upbeat revelry!

When the show ended toward the Midnight Witching Hour the Saints Patrick, and Nicholas rose along with everyone else sitting at the table to applaud, and cheer with glee. Saint Patrick then led the entire crowd to Lucky Lake where he blessed the waters holy, and baptized seven lucky Leprechauns. Saint Nicholas did the same with 12 other Leprechauns. The baptizing process was a way to appease the Archangel hierarchy when Patrick first proposed embracing the Pagan Leprechauns who were the direct product of the Earthly Gods, and Goddesses.  So Leprechauns are not only lucky but holy as well! Saint Patrick bid everyone a warm farewell, and wade into the blessed holy waters causing it to glow brightly in a neon spring green hue. Once at the lakes center he waved majestically while floating upward.  Patrick ascended into the dark starry skies glittering blindly with green, and gold as he phased away ascending back to the Heavenly dimensions above. This caused a serene shower of glittering energy flakes to fall forth upon everyone like a magical snow. Several Leprechauns began scurrying about collecting the substance in glass jars as it was pure essence of holy luck.  Saint Nicholas then took a loving leave of his little friends.  The Claus Family’s sleigh shot off into the sky in a flurry of sparkling red, green, and white light. They arrived back at North Pole City at 2:00 AM Greenwich Mean Time.  This information was acquired by our secret supernatural sources, and we hope everyone had a very merry Saint Patrick’s Day!

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Is Frosty The Snowman Real?

Yes indeed the most legendary Snowman of all time real. Now of course Frosty The Snowman is of no relation to the ferocious Abominable Snowmen, aka Yeti, that instills terror into the hearts of children, and adults alike.  Frosty on the other hand is a delight to all who cross his paranormal path.  The famous Frosty lives in Claus Forest which is on the western side of Santa Claus’s North Pole City.  His portrayal in the classic cartoon bearing his name is somewhat fictional but is in fact based on the true story of an enchanted anthropomorphic snowman who gained locomotion, and sapience on Earth!  You can watch the classic Frosty The Snowman cartoon online here.

One fateful night on Christmas Eve 1948 as Santa Claus began his journey delivering gifts around the world, some children were about to make history by inadvertently bringing a mystical being into existence.  At North Pole City these gifted psychokinetic children, and their parents had been welcomed as guests by Santa Claus.  Early on Christmas Eve by the light of mystical candles, a crescent moon, the extra bright holy Christmas Star, and a sky full of shimmering stars, the kids built a snowman on the sacred grounds of Santa Claus’s Manor. The snow itself was mixed with magical sparkling Elf Dust which is similar to Fairy dust. Elf Dust is a by-product of Elves exhaling. It’s invisible when breathed out but over time it accumulates in the environment. The serene looking snowman had eyes, and nose made of coal taken from a nearby shed.  His nose was a large pink gum drop from one of the children’s pockets. His mouth was made with a piece of red licorice that another child had with them.  No corncob pipe was placed in his mouth.  Also he was not given a top hat but rather one of Santa’s spare red hats with white trim, and the white tassel on top.  His arms were made of the branches of an enchanted evergreen. Once he was done they named him Frosty.  A series of amazing coincidences animated this snowman, and actually gave him a sentient mind, and soul as well.

As with most kids who end up at the North Pole they are children of good supernatural entities or humans who fight against evil in the world of the paranormal that remains hidden from most people.  One of these children was a hereditary witch who was born with the active power of Quintekinesis which is life force manipulation. This interacted with another child’s Cryokinetic power of ice, and snow manipulation. They knew not of their power at the time, and inadvertently animated the snowman.  Upon completion of their snowy masterpiece they all hugged the Snowman together, and declared they loved him thereby transferring their combined power of innocent magic, and infinite imagination that dwells within all kids.  Another factor in creating this unique supernatural being was the fact that the Goddess Gaia, aka the very soul of the Earth itself, was naturally drawn to the child who possessed the life force manipulation powers.  Her life force was focused upon the ground in that area.  So Frosty was built with holy supernatural snows laden with Elf Dust upon a North Pole paranormal hot spot empowered by the very life force of the planet itself.  All these factors combined created the first known walking, talking, thinking, and emotional snowman to ever exist on Earth.  In addition since he is made of holy North Pole City snow he repels all manner of diabolical denizens of darkness!

When the force of life swept through the Snowman the Elf Dust within his sainted snows sparkled brightly with a plethora of rainbow colors as his eyes of coal turned somewhat human like except much rounder.  His red licorice mouth opened up in a wide smile to reveal teeth.  His gum drop nose smoothed out, and became like the surface of a perfect pink jelly bean.  Snow crawled away from his body to cover his evergreen arms creating human like arms, and hands.  His face, and entire body became somewhat human like as he grew snow legs.  He ended up looking somewhat like he does in the cartoon we all know, and love.  A cartoon clearly based in reality as the chubby lovable snowman walks among us.  Upon full animation his first words were “Merry Christmas” rather than “Happy Birthday” since he was born on Christmas Day.  The enchantment of the the holiday itself probably played a role in his animation as well.

The kids were shocked, and an Elf nearby ran for help as he’d never seen anything like that happen before.  Soon more kids, other North Pole City guests, all the elves, enchanted reindeer, Mrs.Claus, and her children gathered around this marvelous mystical miracle!  Frosty was fully self aware, and knew how to speak complete English as well as every other language on Earth.  That could be due to one of the special kids having the power of Omnilingualism, or the natural ability to understand any language in the Universe. He also had the personality of an innocent jovial child yet was quite intelligent. When Santa Claus arrived home on Christmas morning he considered Frosty one of the most amazing gifts he’d ever received.  Frosty The Snowman soon became a fan favorite fixture of North Pole City and a good friend to everyone residing there.  Even the notoriously cold Jack Frost! He acts as the Ambassador for the City greeting visitors, and traveling at times to other paranormal locations on behalf of Santa Claus.

We at Mystic Investigations have had the pleasure of first meeting Frosty when we attended a Christmas Dinner at North Pole City in Christmas 2011.  He’s oddly warm to the touch as his white snow body sparkles in sheer iridescence.  He is child like in nature which would lead you to believe he might have a low IQ but as we said he’s very smart, and is like a walking encyclopedia as he sucks up knowledge like a sponge.  He teaches kids a lot while making everything seem fun.  He even acts as a teacher at North Pole School. A facility for the kids of long term visitors. It’s hard to not feel like a kid again when you spend even one minute with Frosty.  Contrary to popular belief removing his hat doesn’t turn him back into a regular snowman as that is not what created him.  However he does have the power to play dead, and appear like a real snowman at will.  The sneaky fellow loves playing that trick on people.  You’ll think it’s a regular snowman, and all the sudden he reanimates and screams at you with glee scaring the ever loving heck out of you! And of course it’s no surprise that he is the master of any snow ball fight giving an entire brigade of Elves a run for their money!

Frosty-The-Enchanted-SnowmanFrosty The Snowman must remain cold or he will melt.  Although the enchanted snow he’s made of resists far more heat than normal snow. If he must travel he tries to stay in cold areas. Otherwise he has a special refrigeration unit he stays in.  He can actually withstand 80 degrees Fahrenheit in the hot sun for up to 30 minutes before he really starts to deteriorate!  There have been instances where he fully melted but his life force remains among the melted magical North Pole Christmas snow.  When the holy water is collected, and exposed to cold he reanimates as if nothing ever happened.  Generally he spends most of his time at North Pole City in his beloved Claus Forest.  He loves the outdoors, and has never had any interest in building a house for himself. Especially considering the fact that he requires no shelter, sleep, or food. You’d think it would be creepy to meet an anthropomorphic snowman but he’s downright adorable, radiates a loving warmth, and sense of humor most human adults could never muster up even on their best days.  God bless Frosty The Snowman, and Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Watch The Classic Frosty The Snowman Cartoon

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Crazy Couple Obsessed With Santa Claus


This Saturday Night Live Skit features a crazy couple with an obsessive belief in Santa Claus. So much so that they hold a Christmas party hostage in the grips of their dark madness. This despite the assumption they are humans not within the real supernatural community. Perhaps the Spirit Of Christmas has hung in their hearts since childhood yet the rough course of their lives warped their minds at the same time. They believe an obvious impostor is the real Santa while looking to include him in their sick fantasies. In the end, the real Santa peers in the window at the insanity going on at this Christmas party of horrors. He then promptly bails into the cold dark night! In reality, Santa would have burst in to release the Yuletide hostages. One wonders if the couple may actually be sub-consciously seeking out the Anti-Claus who is indeed a sick paranormal puppy!

In a way, Santa’s evil twin brother, The AntiClaus, is a stalker of sorts. He is obsessed with Santa’s wonderful life and he even has a dark love for his wife Mrs. Holly Claus. The Dark Claus is a very real danger since he has injured Father Christmas in the past. Thankfully the Sinister Claus Of Darkness has never prevailed over his righteous brother of the light and the Spirit Of Christmas!

Santa Claus has actually dealt with some supernatural stalkers in his time. Those in the paranormal know or with some level of power who also have varying degrees of mental illness. He generally attempts to use his healing Angelic powers to light the recesses of their misguided minds with the serenity of sanity. When that fails due to the overwhelming darkness within them he is reluctantly forced to overpower the crazed culprits and send them off to any number of secret supernatural prisons or mental institutions!

Two Wicked Witches Attempt To Weave Santa Into Their Wanton Web!
Probably one of the most diabolical Santa stalkers was a story of two twisted sisters who were powerful wicked witches. Their dastardly deeds dispatched an entire family to the great beyond as they lay in wait for Santa to deliver gifts to the Jones Family on Christmas Eve. He mystically materialized from the chimney and immediately sensed a dark presence. Suddenly a bright purple light flashed around him. It was a magical dark magic dampening field trapping him in the family living room next to the lit Christmas tree. The scantily clad witches emerged from the dark shadows making their wanton wishes of Christmas seduction known. Santa was appalled! Especially as he read their minds and realized the atrocities they had perpetrated against a beloved family very high up on his Nice List!

Deep sadness turned to uncharacteristic rage at this horrifying injustice. He roared so loud that glass burst everywhere in the house. The witches were no longer smiling in amusement but now shook in fear as Santa bombarded the dark supernatural shield with bursts of enchanted energies. His raw Angelic based power broke through as the witches fled from the house. However, as they ran into the snowy backyard Santa was in front of them courtesy of his super speed. He literally picked one up in each hand by their neck and launched them into the sky while yelling,”To the Moon with you blasphemous harlots of hell!” He immediately regretted doing that as the unfortunate witches achieved Earths orbit! From the roof the reindeer and two helper Elves looked on with shocking concern. Rudolph asked,”Gosh Santa are you okay?” Santa nodded as he leaped hundreds of feet back in the sleigh!

Santa looked back at his Elves and said,”Prepare magical computations for time travel! We need to connect my Chronokinetic powers with the Christmas Spirit. Overcoming the dark witches magic along with making my deliveries has drained my power.” He launched into the dark starry skies as the Elves handed him a sheet with a complicated formula consisting of both math and magic. He prepared the reindeer for temporal travel and instructed,”Hold your breath fellas!” They flew upward into outer space past the floating frozen witches. The sleigh sped toward the Sun ever faster as the stars began to elongate into lines of light. Around the Sun they snapped back toward Earth!

They re-entered Earth’s atmosphere as the reindeer’s faces started turning blue! Rudolph red nose took on an odd purple hue. Santa finally said,”Everyone can breath now!” Sighs of relief rained about as they landed in the woods near the Jones Family home. It was now the night before Christmas Eve as Santa stealthy crept toward the house on foot. He knew just where and when to be because he had read the witches mind. Santa waited in the bushes as he looked in the window to see the happy family partaking of their evening dinner in good cheer.

Then he felt a dark energy afoot and peered up into the sky to see two witches flying on brooms land nearby. They cackled with glee speaking of the night of ecstasy they would share with Father Christmas. Before they got to the back door they were suddenly frozen in fear and could not move but a few feet in each direction. They cleared the snow beneath them and saw Enochian Angel Magic symbols etched in the frozen soil of the lawn. They were startled by Santa’s presence as he happily declared,”Come now ladies did you really think you could trap me in your den of lustful iniquity?” They replied,”Santa we love you! We want to be with you forever!” Santa countered,”Your dark magical journey has stoked misguided feelings of sinister sensuality within you! I see no clear path to your recovery as you are too far gone. Indeed you will spend eternity with me….frozen in the North Pole City Ice Palace of my friend Jack Frost!”

The Winter God Jack Frost appeared from the icy shadows blowing an eerie light blue glowing breath from his mouth. It immediately turning the wicked witches into frozen statues. Santa thanked Jack for the prompt reply to his psychic message and discretion in not contaminating the timeline by making presence known to his past self. Jack replied,”No problem! I needed some new decor for the castle!” He then disappeared in a flash of glittering snowflakes with the frozen witches in tow.

Santa gazed back through the frosty window as the family gathered around the Christmas tree. He felt the warm embers of Christmas enchantment in his heart as the evil events had been set right.  Of course, this was now a different reality and he would have to merge with the Santa who already existed here. He began concocting a powerful Enochian Angel magic spell to accomplish this. Finally on Christmas Eve Santa landed on the roof of the Jones house and slid down the chimney to deliver his bounty of beautiful presents. Meanwhile, on the roof the time traveling Santa few down in his sleigh that transmuted to an astral form. It merged with the sleigh, reindeer, and elves already on the roof.

As Santa came up the chimney he saw the astral Santa sitting in the sleigh and asked,”Oh my we changed time again?” Astral Santa replied,”Yes! As soon as we merge you will remember everything that happened.” Indeed Santa merged with his astral being and all was known. He had memories of two timelines. In reality, he has memories of dozens of realities he shaped for the betterment of humankind!

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Is The Grinch Real?

GrinchYes, would you believe the Grinch is a real supernatural being!?!  However, his story was greatly simplified by the infamous author Dr. Seuss in his 1957 book “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” In reality, the green Grinch was a Gnome helper of the Anti-Claus. This Dark Claus is Santa Claus’s evil twin brother and the leader of Dark Christmas.  Only exceptionally evil Gnomes are green, including those working for the Anti-Claus. Indeed they literally turn green with greed, and envy.  They also grow larger than standard gnomes, and exhibit more monstrous facial features signifying their status as members of this elite legion of elevated evil! Despite being a lowly gnome The Grinch worked his way up to the Anti-Claus’s Gnome Commander.  The equivalent of Santa Claus’s trusted Chief Elf.  The Grinch had a huge ego and became drunk with malevolent power.  He fancied himself as the true leader of Dark Christmas. Within his pathetic delusions of grandeur, he saw himself as being a match for a powerful Demi-Demon like the Anti-Claus.

Over time he hatched a diabolical plan to destroy Christmas, suck away the power of the Spirit Of Christmas, and then use that formidable force to turn on his Anti-Claus Master.  Naturally, there’s no way a Gnome would have anywhere near the power to do this, and he failed miserably!  Although we’ll give him an A for alarming effort.  Almost immediately after his fantastic failure, he scurried away into hiding. The Anti-Claus was deeply angered, and his fellow Gnomes considered the Grinch a traitorous outcast.  To this day it’s thought that the Grinch is still hiding in a deep dark cave somewhere cowering in fear of his dark fate.  Or could he be foolish enough to plot a comeback in light of the current absence of the Anti-Claus?  We guarantee you he couldn’t possibly be a match for the current leader of Dark Christmas Krampus.  Although rumors are swirling that the Anti-Claus has returned after disappearing in 2013.  Even after all this, Santa Claus has stated the Grinch is forgiven and may have a home at the North Pole if he wishes. Thus far he has not been heard from! In addition, as an update to this article, the Anti-Claus returned in 2016 but kept a low profile indicating he’s probably running low on paranormal power.

The infamous aforementioned Anti-Claus coup attempt by the Grinch took place in December of 1952.  Seuss knew of the story since he had been lucky
enough to visit Santa’s North Pole City in that same year.  It seems Seuss had been secretly abducted by aliens, and taken to a planet similar to what he eventually described to an extent in 1971’s The Lorax.  A number of his nutty characters and stories came from his short time on the unknown extraterrestrial planet.  He also had disturbing visions of his future time there earlier in life as well.  The aliens brought him back with other brainwashed abductees as apart of a master plan to conquer Earth.  Santa Claus intervened when he happened upon the extraterrestrial vessel. Not only did he save Dr.Seuss but the entire planet as well by sending the aliens back through their intergalactic Supercluster porthole that transported them here.  Santa also destroyed the technology to create such portholes on their homeworld.  Since they’re at least two Galactic Superclusters away from our Virgo Supercluster we won’t have to worry about them getting here by conventional space travel anytime soon.  Generally, he has to adhere to not interfering in human matters as per Angelic Law, and the Supernatural Secrecy Pact. However, he was given the green light since the invasion would have drastically altered Earth’s natural destiny.

After saving Seuss Santa Claus rehabilitated him and cleansed his mind of the extraterrestrial influence at North Pole City along with the other abducted victims.  Old Saint Nick then performed the usual memory wipe on North Pole visitors who aren’t true members of the supernatural community.  However, some still remember the experience as a dream. Dr.Seuss’s recollections of his time at the North Pole were the most vivid.

To us the term Grinch is synonymous with the term Scrooge meaning someone who loathes the holidays and lacks the Christmas Spirit.  Among Gnomes, and other nefarious supernatural beings a Grinch is a term used to describe a foolish disloyal individual who has performed traitorous acts.  A little green Gnome with a paranormal bounty on his head equal to a supernatural favor granted by the Anti-Claus himself.  Something considered priceless to those dark of heart in the supernatural community.  So now you know the true story of the Grinch and the famous children’s author Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr.Seuss!

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