Is Charlie Sheen A Weretiger?

Charlie Weretiger SheenActor Charlie Sheen has spoke of the “tigers blood” that runs through his veins along with just generally comparing himself to a tiger on numerous occasions.  Is he trying to tell us something without violating the Supernatural Secrecy Pact?  After much research by our special celebrity investigator there is some evidence to suggest that Sheen became a Weretiger sometime in the 1988.  It seems he may have angered a powerful Sorcerer named Dimitri Diablo when Charlie inadvertently spilled a Diet Coke on him on the set of “Major League”.  Diablo has a habit of walking into anywhere he so chooses.  We have no idea why he would enter a movie set.  Perhaps to partake of the free concessions which included his favorite beverage Diet Coke.  Apparently Sheen was taking food from the table while moving toward Diablo who was knocking back several Diet Cokes.  Charlies knocked into him spilling the soda all over Diablo’s Sorcery robe.  Some witnesses on the set remember an oddly dressed man screaming loudly about the spill.  Sheen tried to apologize but Diablo wouldn’t have it.  Finally Charlie got very angry, and the two men started struggling with each other.  Security moved in but Dimitri lifted his hand, and sent them flying into a camera smashing it.  Most likely this was a demonstration of telekinetic powers.  Diablo then placed his hand on Charlie’s forehead causing the actor to freeze with a look of horror in his eyes.  Diablo then recited some incantation as he wiped the blood of a Weretiger upon his face.  The Sorcerer was then heard to say,”I curse you tiger!”  Sheen collapsed, and Diablo disappeared but not before taking an entire case of Diet Coke.

Not only do we have no clue why Diablo happened to be in that particular place when he could pilfer Diet Coke from anywhere on Earth but we also have no idea why he was carrying the ultra rare Weretiger blood on him.  Such blood is usually of Asian origin.  Either way we’re pretty sure the witnesses accounts are true so Charlie Sheen is a Weretiger.  He really does have tigers blood running through him.  Although since this was induced by magic he clearly isn’t full blown immortal variety of Weretiger since he’s aged quite a bit since 1988.

He most likely can transform into a monstrous tiger man, and possibly a full blown tiger at will along with having enhanced strength, speed, agility, and senses.  I’d imagine it must be hard to restrain himself in times of stress, and anger.  So far we don’t have anyone witnessing his transformation.  Although an unconfirmed source claims to have seen a tiger strolling outside the tiger enclosure at the LA Zoo in 2010.  The tiger walked behind a building, and Sheen came out the other side almost instantly.

Since he’s an imperfect Werecat it’s likely the tigers blood is responsible for his mental imbalances, and erratic behavior over the years.  Certainly accidentally shooting poor Kelly Preston in the arm back in 1990 is a sign of deep mental conflict.  Weretigers are prone to violent fits of pure animal rage.  His comparisons to tigers might be a desperate cry for help.  Maybe he fears becoming a government experiment?  Charlie can feel free to contact us if he needs help dealing with his Ailuranthropy, aka cat shape shifter, condition.  All we can say is may God have mercy on Charlie Sheen’s immortal Weretiger soul!

What’s In Mike’s Magic Red Drink?

In the video above Youtube fitness guru, Mike Chang, speaks about getting charged up with his magic red drink for intense workouts so you can body build a ripped physique with greater ease. So what’s the “magic” and “red” in the fitness drink he’s officially named Afterburn Fuel? Our Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie has detected trace amounts of compounds that could be Weretiger blood in this workout drink. A Weretiger is a rare supernatural being who has the ability to transform into a tiger man,and sometimes a complete tiger as well. The most famous Weretiger known is Actor Charlie Sheen. The results of such paranormal blood in a human is unknown but it is theorized that it would give someone a huge amount of energy, enthusiasm, and possibly rage as well. It also might have a temporary muscular enhancing element for people who lift weights. Possibly Mike is a Weretiger, and he is using his own blood to rake in profits. Weretiger blood may be beneficial but there’s always a risk for humans consuming supernatural substances. The main risk here would be the possible violent rage that could occur. However since the amount is so small as to be undetectable in complete red blood cell form there shouldn’t be issues for those who aren’t normally prone to fits of anger. Certainly someone directing that rage into body building would work off the excess emotions in the gym.

The known ingredients in Mike’s Magic Red Afterburn Fuel Drink are Methylxanthine, Beta Alanine, Methyltyramine, Citrulline malate, Vanadyl Sulfate, Creatinol phosphate, Arginine Alpha Keto Glutamate (AAKG). Despite the long chemical sounding ingredients all of them are actually natural, and are produced in the human body in many cases.

Fat Burning Recipes

What Are Werejaguars?

The Werejaguar is a species of Werecat originating in the ancient Aztec Empire of Mexico.  They are a product of Aztec Shaman enchanting freshly obtained Jaguar skins by calling upon the Earthly God Tezcatlipoca.  These mystic cat skins were worn by Jaguar warriors who were upper echelon Aztec soldiers.  Thanks to the magical jaguar coats they received enhanced strength, speed, and agility while wearing them. To obtain this amazing privilege an Aztec Army soldier had to capture twelve enemies during two consecutive battles. The best of those warriors were called Jaguar Knights. To become a knight a warrior had to capture twelve enemies in one consecutive battle.  Naturally wearing the enchanted jaguar pelts made such a spectacular feat possible. However opposing armies had their own magics employed so it wasn’t easy. The Jaguar Knights were the first Werejaguars who appeared as humanoid jaguar men whose physical abilities far outweighed Werewolves, and even most vampires. Once their skins were donned during a special Shaman ceremony they melded into their bodies, and altered their DNA. From that point forth they could transform from a human form into a deadly humanoid jaguar at will by focusing their rage of justice.  In such a state they are humanly cognizant but still under the pull of their animal side.  Any type of unexpected anger, or even excited episode can cause an uncontrollable transformation where they lose control which can lead to a hellish killing spree.   Those that meditate, and find deep peace can maintain control at all times, and even transform into a real jaguar. Upon weeks of communing with nature as a wild cat it’s said they will eventually meet the Jaguar God Tezcatlipoca.   If he judged them as worthy warriors then he would imbue them with the powers of a demigod.  These demigod Werejaguars would be the rarest breed, and there is no recorded incidence of even one existing.  Werejaguars could live hundreds of years but if they communicated with Tezcatlipoca then they were granted immortality. Some of those Jaguar Knights still exist to this day, and can tell tales of the fall of the Aztec empire at the hands of the Spanish Conquistadors.

Despite the fact that the knights killed jaguars as sacrifices to the God Tezcatlipoca in order to get their warrior garb to begin with they can’t eradicate any jaguars ever again once becoming a Werecat. If they do so purposely or by accident they will be permanently turned into an immortal jaguar with the normal abilities of the wild cat. Tezcatlipoca will no longer communicate with them, if he ever did, and they will be damned to roam the Earth as an animal forever.

Immortal Werejaguars can’t mate with humans but could mate with other Werejaguars if there were any females. They may engage in sensual relations with human females but they generally lose control, and end up mauling them to death. Due to their inability to transform other’s or have offspring their numbers are extremely limited. However if someone kills a Werejaguar then they themselves will become one as well. The only known way to kill them is to shoot a special arrow through their heart at no closer a distance than 12 feet. The arrow must be made of silver, and gold plated along with being dipped in Jaguar blood. Obviously the odds are astronomical that anyone would not only find a Werejaguar but then have such a weapon in their possession along with knowing how to wield it against such a deadly opponent of super speed. The only known repellents against these Jaguar Knights is Jaguar blood blessed by an Aztec Shaman. Although a blessing by any Priest should have some effect. Standard supernatural repellents will not work on these beings since most,such as religious artifacts, are meant only for creatures of demonic origins.  If you spot a Werejaguar then you’re already dead.  You won’t have time to call a paranormal professional.  In fact they’ll probably hear about your demise, and then end up dying themselves when they go after the feline beast.  We here at Mystic Investigations have never gone up against a Werejaguar, or any Werecat for that matter.  However we are now armed with powerful knowledge if such a nefarious being rears it’s furry cat head upon us!