Backwoods Hillbilly Moonshine Zombies

You and your paranormal commando team venture forth into the deep woods on the hunt for the living dead! This after encountering Old Man Clampett in a horrifying Zombie form attempting to attack the local townsfolk.  Naturally, he had to be put down for everyone’s protection!  You near the Clampett Residence that is known to be the home of the most notorious Moonshine producing family in Hazzard County.  Ironically they have always called their especially strong blend of white whiskey “Zombie Killer”.  Legend has it that the Clampett Family successfully defended the town from a horde of zombies in the late 1800’s.  However over 100 years later supernatural triumph over the living dead terror has returned to haunt them!

The thick woods are starting to darken as the sun lowers in the late afternoon partly cloudy skies on this warm late summer’s day.  As you walk among the distillery equipment, and various glass jugs, a ferocious growling zombie leaps from a quarter full barrel of Moonshine with blood dripping down his necrotic chin onto his blood-splattered shirt. Your trusty steel blade gets the job done with extreme prejudice!  One by one you begin to notice dead corpses lying about the homestead.  No doubt they are already in the process of zombifying. Reanimation could happen at any moment!  Your team handles the situation with delicate, and respectful precision ensuring these fine folks will have a Heavenly Afterlife in the great beyond rather than a soulless nightmare as a rotting corpse of cannibalism!  Your team of paranormal professionals approaches the main house when a zombie unexpectedly falls from a tree branch above you and pins you to the ground ready to bring life as you know it to an end!

Thankfully the beautifully talented zombie hunter Miss Autumn Winters handily wields her battle ax like a surgeon saving you with a smile on her seductive face.  Two of your other team members come out of the barn nearby declaring it all clear. Everyone enters the house silently. Half go to the rear of the home, and enter there.  The stench of death hangs in the humid air as flies buzz about. You expect to find more corpses.  Instead, you find zombies coming out of the woodwork in a feeding frenzy.  Their bloodshot eyes looking upon you as their next meal to satisfy the zombie virus within them. Once fed there is a slow down in the decomposition process. Everyone gets down to business with their sharpest implement of choice since guns can be hit, and miss when it comes to the zombie scourge. Not to mention a close quarters gunfight is never a good idea!

The walking dead battle only lasts a minute but it seems like an agonizing adrenaline pumped eternity.  Sanguine splatters fly about along with despicable zombie parts while your blades whirl in unison like an orchestrated supernatural mixing blender.  Amid dead silence, you all rest a bit from the bloody battle before fanning out to search the rest of the house and the property.  Once you declare the area secure your team washes up in the creek nearby and begins an investigation before burning everything to the ground to ensure the zombie virus doesn’t claim another innocent victim.

Your paranormal investigation indicates that the Clampett’s had recently unearthed a time
zombieapocalypsecapsule from their ancestors who fought the late 1800’s zombie scourge.  Apparently, some genius had saved a zombie hand as a supernatural hunting trophy and pickled it in a mason jar.  Upon the death of said genius the mason jar, which later transmuted to an eerie green goo, was placed in the time capsule. When the modern-day Clampett’s retrieved it they foolishly opened the jar thinking it was some odd Moonshine but it was, unfortunately, zombie virus in a jar!!!!  You discussed the mindlessness of this mass death with the others while the entire homestead burns to the ground in an almost bewitching blaze.  Your resident witch the charming Miss Stacy Sanderson communes with local Nymphs, and Fairies to keep the blaze from starting a forest fire. Heavy columns of smoke rise into the now dark star-filled skies as the last embers of the flames put the Clampett Family to tragic rest along with burning away any artifacts that might cause ghosts to anchor on to this world.  RIP Clampett Family! | Stock Up for Hunting Season! |

Don’t let this mistake be forgotten. Do your part to inform the world by recreating the Clampett’s tragedy as a part of your Halloween decor with the Moonshine Barrel Zombie Animatronic Prop. The perfect animated scare for your haunted house party guests or front door trick o treaters.  It features a zombie leaping frightfully from an old Moonshine barrel with cannibalistic glee! Just as seen in the video & photo at the beginning of this spooky story. Update…the prop doesn’t seem to exist anywhere anymore! Conspiracy?

Zombie Hunting Crossbow

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