The Comanche County Sheriff Blake Maverick, Woodland Springs Police Chief Spencer Cantrell, and an FBI investigator just had a joint local news conference to confirm that a series of heinous murders in the tri-county area have been linked to a serial killer known in Florida, Texas, and California as the Star Bright Strangler and also the Back Seat Strangler. He’s now here in Woodland Springs, Colorado and has been linked to three murders in Comanche County. One of which took place here a few days ago. If this sick puppies pattern continues he will commit three to four more murders before he moves on.
Only on nights of clear starry skies does he strike sometime after the Midnight Witching Hour. He breaks into the victims parked car and hides in the backseat. Then as they’re driving he chokes them with a rope from behind. A knife found at one crime scene indicates he may toy with his victims first by threatening them with said sharp implement. It’s suspected that the killer enjoys the rush of the car possibly crashing out of control as he finishes off his victims. Since we’re good friends with Sheriff Maverick he shared the details of the case and we’re pretty sure there’s no supernatural force behind this. He’s most likely just a run of the mill human serial killer. In which case he’s made a big mistake coming to my town! Nobody commits murder in Woodland Springs and gets away with it. If the authorities don’t get this bastard then Mystic Investigations will!
Last night was a star filled night and we we’re all out volunteering and patrolling the town generally around 24 hour stores, third shift factories, restaurants, and taverns. Our psychic Julia Hathaway was patrolling with our Executive Vice-President and resident vampire Drake Alexander when she got a vision of a woman coming out of Tawny’s Old Town Tavern at about Midnight. She got in to her car with a dark figure ominously rising from the shadows of the back seat. Her screams of terror bellowed through Julia’s head as the man brushed his knife along her face, and hair. All the while he laughed with maniacal glee! Finally he strangled her to death on dark deserted roadway. Then the serial killer in her vision looks straight at Julia, and zooms in on her roaring! She was jolted out of the psychic vision shaking with fear as Drake held her in his strong vampire arms. She described the woman to him. They were a block away and Drake ran to the tavern on foot at super speed because it was nearly midnight.
The smiling woman with hazel eyes, and brunette hair left the crowded bar and was heading to her car when Drake suddenly appeared in front of her. She was startled at first but Drake’s handsome exterior, charm, and hypnotic dark blue eyes lulled her into a deep state of relaxation while he lifted her car keys from her purse without her even realizing it. He got her phone number and walked away behind some bushes nearby. She got to her car but couldn’t find the keys Drake had just stolen so she went back into the tavern to look for them. That’s when Drake approached the car and unlocked the door. As soon as he got in he could smell that someone was in the car with him along with hearing the quiet breathing, and heart beat of a human.
He started the car and pulled out on to Ridgeview Drive and was soon driving through the woods on Mountain View Road at 12:11 AM when all the sudden hands appeared on either side of Drakes head as a white rope came down in front of his face and was slammed tight against his neck. It had no effect on the vampire as the deep gravely voice exclaimed,”Don’t fight it! Don’t fight it! You’ll be dead soon and all will be at peace my friend.” He then started crazily cackling while Drake said,”The joke’s on you jackass! I’m already dead!” The killer stopped his nutty chuckling, and shockingly said,’What!?!” The killer witnessed Drake’s eyes glowing a neon yellow-green color in the rear view mirror. The look of joy on his face turned to terror as he got more than a taste of his own horrifying medicine! Drake punched the accelerator to the floor and the car sped to over 100 mph causing the now scared strangler to scream,”Nooooooooooooo!” as they headed for the dead end of Mountain View Road. A true dead end in this case because it led off a cliff into the deep O’Rourke Ravine.
Drake himself began laughing maniacally as he exclaimed,”Don’t fight it! Don’t fight it! You’ll soon be dead and all will be at peace my sick friend!” All the while the strangler kept trying to frantically choke the life out of Drake without success for he couldn’t even compress the strong vampires throat. There’s also the fact that vampires don’t breath air since they’re technically dead. The strangler knew there was a cliff ahead, and attempted to bail out the car door. However Drake had reached a hand back to hold the strangler in place with his super vampire grip. He cried out like a baby,”What the hell are you?!?” Drake responded,”I’m a vampire you little bitch!” Drake then extended his fangs, and echoed forth a growling sound greater than a Lion along with his eyes now glowing a crimson color. The strangler looked away, and continued to scream,”Nooooooooo! Why?!!!!!” Within seconds the car crashed through an orange and white fence and dove off the cliff head first. The serial killers last words were,’Damn you all to hell!!!!!” The car hit the jagged rocks at the bottom of the ravine and exploded into a huge ball of bright flames.
Drake immediately kicked the mangled door clear away from the burning wreck as he bolted out virtually unscathed. He patted some flames out on his clothing while chuckling to himself, and saying,”Damn it’s been one hell of night! Burn in Hades you jackass!” He then bolted up the ravine at super speed and ran down the road back to the tavern where he found the flashing lights of a police car with an officer taking the woman’s statement since her car was stolen. Drake felt bad but he knew the woman would forget all about her car when she found a hot candy apple red Ferrari in her driveway donated to her by an anonymous benefactor. He then ran back to the place where he left Julia. He found her sitting on a bench at the bus stop yawning. Drake saw she was tired from her long night of patrolling and picked her up to run her home in his arms. After dropping Julia at her house Drake called us all to inform everyone of what had transpired. The serial killer had been dispatched with extreme prejudice!
I told Sheriff Maverick what happened and he found the car wreck first and was given credit for finding the remains of the serial killer. The minute amount of DNA recovered matched the FBI investigators records. Subsequent investigations revealed the identity of the Star Bright Serial Strangler as Abner Cole, a hobo who stowed away on trains to make his way to various US cities to find new victims. The jealous Police Chief Cantrell muttered something about how he bet Maverick’s buddies at Mystic Investigations probably helped him and Maverick responded by telling him to shut up. He also told him to stop his mindless security theater, and having his patrol cars trespass on private business property shining their spot lights around. The case is now closed thanks to a fine upstanding member of the living dead community who fights with us on the side of good against the forces of evil, paranormal or otherwise.
When Drake was asked why he didn’t just grab the killer from the backseat the second he detected him in the car his response was,”I’m a vampire! Despite my will to help humanity I still have an urge to at least sadistically toy with filthy fiends! Why not satiate my natural tendencies via the scum of the Earth? Had I not smelled the vile stench of darkness upon his flowing blood I would have drained him of his sanguinity”
§ Updated October 2015
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