How Do You Repel A Zombie?

Zombie Protection Herbs
Zombie RepellentWe’ve heard about a plethora of ways to repel vampires, and werewolves. These include various herbs such as garlic, vervain, and wolfsbane. However we’ve never heard anything about Zombies. Naturally since zombies are generally non-demonic religious artifacts have no effect on them unlike vampires & werewolves. Like most metaphysical menaces Mother Nature provides a defense for humans. After extensive research we are proud to present our findings that will finally protect you, and your family against the rotting corpses of the Walking Dead.  Not surprisingly both protective plants have a noxious stink just as zombies themselves smell like living hell itself!  Zombies use their sense of smell to tell the difference between tasty humans, and their living dead brothers since zombies ironically loathe dead flesh.  Unlike living, or freshly dead flesh, it doesn’t quell the hunger of the zombie virus. When the virus is well fed it rewards the zombie by delaying it’s inevitable decay. No longer do you have to hope you can take down every approaching zombie with a gun, a sharp implement, fire, or even strong acid.  Here are the plants that will save your life during a zombie apocalypse:

  • Stinking Nightshade, also known as Henbane. (Hyoscyamus Niger)  An excellent herb to grow around your home or zombie bunker.  The herb can be worn on your clothing or crushed in a satchel for personal protection.  You can also hang cut plants over your windows, and doors.
  • Purple Passion, also known as Velvet Plant. (Gynura Aurantiaca).  This is an excellent house plant that can be placed near windows, and doorways for home zombie defense. You can also wear the plants leaves on your clothing to act as a personal deterrent for the dead rising from their graves. Purple Passion can also grow outside as ground cover.  In a post-apocalyptic zombie scenario grow this around your fortified compound since it can spread all about leaving no open spots for zombies to stagger through.  In this case you’d want to live somewhere without winter.  Of course thankfully zombies will literally freeze in place when the temperature drops to below freezing.  This is due to the fact that they have no body heat so the water in their tissues freezes solid. Unfortunately arid desert regions give us desiccated zombies without any moisture. If they manage to wander into a below freezing zone they won’t freeze in such cases!

When using these plants on yourself prepare to smell and repel both zombies, and humans. The point is to stay alive, and worry about your social life later on.  Odds are you will have none in the midst of a zombie virus pandemic!  All the plants listed above are poisonous to humans and shouldn’t be ingested or placed directly on skin unless magically prepared by a certified witch, wizard, warlock, or sorcerer.  The only way to know if they’re for real is to watch them prepare the potion, and see unexplainable shimmering luminescence take place in the solution for at least a few seconds.  This is evidence of a metaphysical energy exchange that is the heart of magic. Naturally to be safe have them drink a sample first!

Now you can enter a well deserved slumber after a day of slaying living dead drones with your Purple Passion plant on your nightstand, and a bunch of Stinking Nightshade tied together hanging over your windows, and doors.  This is a lot more pleasant than smearing yourself with rotted zombie, or weeks old human corpse remains.  Yes if you have nothing else this works as well, and will allow you to walk among the living dead without worry of being eaten alive!

Crystals & Gemstones That Protect Against Living Dead Zombies!
Zombie GraveBesides plants Mother Earth often provides us with crystals, and gemstones for use as paranormal protection.  These are generally not as potent as herbal solutions but can get the job done under the right circumstances. Even if that means a combination of stones used in unison. Our zombie research has field tested limited success with wearing a combination of Granite (From A Gravestone Only!), Apatite, and Malachite.  Most likely as a necklace or bracelet.  The more you can wear the better! Each must be in equal proportions to work. Granite is the bedrock of Mother Earth, and stuff that mighty mountains are made of. When made into gravestones, and planted at the site of deceased person it acquires mystical properties related to the dead. Apatite has properties related to the mind, and ironically weight loss since zombies are all about gorging on humans! Malachite is a stone known to ease the transition between life, and death. Especially if a person has had a hellish life, and ghost formation is a real possibility.

When placed together these three stones create an anti-zombie trinity!  Not as potent as the plants mentioned above but good enough to delay the zombies so you can make your escape!  Certainly adding these stones to your other zombie countermeasures will amplify your efforts, and support your survival in a dark damned apocalyptic world of zombie despair! Feel free to reply to this article with a comment if you know of any other zombie repellents!