The Haunted Lighthouse

In celebration of National Lighthouse Day on August 7th, I decided to take my employees on a field trip to Woodland Springs, Colorado’s only lighthouse on Luminary Lake. The paranormal lake is full of supernatural life and is known to suddenly develop huge waves and thick mysterious fog. In the early days of our town a lot of people went missing in the lake so they built the lighthouse. However, it’s rumored a Curse was placed upon it by a local dark witch after a lighthouse keeper thwarted her effort to sacrifice several local kids to the demon she worshiped. The curse came into play once the lighthouse keeper was eradicated by her malevolent minions. Thankfully a Witch Slayer came to town and took her out as well with extreme prejudice!

Unfortunately, all lighthouse keepers after that died of mysterious causes and then proceeded to haunt the place. Various attempts to exorcise them into the afterlife failed as it seems the curse traps their souls there for all eternity! Mystic Investigations attempted to do so a number of times but the curse is mega powerful! In general, Curses placed by magical practitioner are incredibly hard to break! The lighthouse closed some years ago with the advent of cell phones, GPS tracking, and meticulous patrol of the lake by the local Sheriffs department as they have training in the supernatural world. We’re friends with the Sheriff Blake Maverick so he let us into the lighthouse that still mysteriously lights up at night even though nobody is there!

Many of our employees are simply office support staff and don’t really believe in the world of the paranormal. Even when some have witnessed some perplexing things they dismiss it as something else because their sub-conscious mind won’t let them entertain the terror of our real world! This is the way it is for a lot of people and many of our employees think the paranormal investigations is just a marketing thing to get customers for standard investigations. So quite a few employees were giggling and making joking ghostly noises to mask their underlying fear that the place really was haunted.

Certainly, they weren’t taking our Psychic Julia Hathaway seriously when she said there were several ghosts present. She could even feel the dark specter of the wicked witch amid the curse. Something not felt this strong on our previous research visits. Julia and our Ghost Hunter Rob Edmunds suspected the witch had recently been released from hell on a mission to create a powerful poltergeist from the lost human souls in the lighthouse along with the dark energy of the curse. This was probably not technically turning the curse into an entity all its own so there would be no Heavenly intervention as stated in the Supernatural Secrecy Pact.

There was an element of real danger here as opposed to the simple harmless ghosts we expected to find. However, as it was broad daylight and not between the Witching and Devil’s hours we felt the employees would be relatively safe. As we walked into various rooms the temperature dropped as an unholy howling echoed through the air. It got so cold that we could see our breath! A sickening stink of sulfur wafted about amid lights flickering. We decided it was time to leave as everyone was shivering along with one employee puking due to the wretched stinks!

All the exits were inexplicably sealed shut. The Sheriff was still with us and he drew his gun to blast out the largest window but the bullet bounced off. Thankfully he ordered everyone in another room so it simply embedded in a wooden wall rather than accidentally striking someone. He tried a few more time with no results. Our resident vampire Drake Alexander was the strongest among us and he attempted to punch the window with brute 5th generation vampire strength. The glass actually cracked but instantly repaired itself while a sinister cackling came from nowhere and everywhere all at once. Some of the employees were crying while another screamed,”What is going on here?!”

Things didn’t get any better as several horrifying specters flew about us making menacing gestures. One employee was huddled in a corner whispering,”It’s all holograms and special effects. They’re just trying to scare us! It’s not real!” Rebecca Abernathy our resident witch let loose her natural born witchcraft power of the Mystic Sphere. A translucent pink metaphysical energy bubble that extends around her like a super shield. The employees not in the true supernatural know looked on in amazement while she tried crashing it through the window and walls! The window shattered but then rebuilt itself in an instant!

Suddenly the sunny day outside turned pitch black while the lights went out. Thank God Rebecca’s Mystic Sphere kept a pink light glowing! Most of the employees were in a panic trying to find a way out as I attempted to calm everyone down. I told them it was a high tech Halloween haunted house with some malfunctions that we’re trying to work out. Sheriff Maverick nervously nodded in agreement. Rebecca said we were looking right into five-dimensional hyper-space as the entire lighthouse phased between Universes under immense paranormal power! Julia said she felt the birth of a powerful Poltergeist! Apparently, the fear of so many people in the lighthouse was the final catalyst needed for the poltergeist to form. It was a terrifying entity made up of lost souls forcibly wrapped in evil energies under the mental control of a dead wicked witch! We needed to get out of the lighthouse before we all died!

We had the Sheriff keep watch on the civilians with his flashlight in hand as the rest of our team headed up the steps to the beacon of the lighthouse itself. As we got closer it was glowing an eerie crimson color. Julia, Rebecca, and Drake could feel the strong unholy presence in the lightroom. Suddenly the ice cold air turned seriously hot as the entity stopped sucking thermal energy and instead was bursting it forth in defiance. Rebecca powered forth her Mystic Sphere to absorb the heat. She expanded it to encapsulate the entire room in an attempt to capture the poltergeist. She recited a powerful witchcraft spell that included utilizing Drakes unique vampire blood. Ghostbuster Rob began setting up quantum disruption devices around the lighthouse. It causes supernatural unsettling at the level of reality where energy meets matter. This is where otherworldly entities interact with our world. This disruption would force all aspects of the poltergeist into the lightroom.

The poltergeist began shooting objects at us but Drake and Zack Powers our bionic boy wonder caught them all at super speed! The witch who was the brains of the blasphemous beast screamed obscenities at us and promised our long agonized death at her hands! The entire lighthouse began to shake as Rob set off the disruption devices and Rebecca bellowed forth serious incantations. We were holding on to things as it seemed like a violent earthquake was taking place. People were ducking down because objects not bolted down were flying all over the place. Flashes of light began bursting outside the windows in the pitch black darkness. We could see glimmers of the physical world returning as a sickening looking specter became trapped in Rebecca’s supernatural sphere. It took a hideous female form and angrily yelled,”Damn you all to hell!” Rebecca replied,”No you’re going to hell old hag!”

Rebecca began compressing the sphere into a smaller form forcing the metaphysical energy out of the poltergeist. It was almost like juicing the entity as if it was a fruit! As the sphere disappeared we could hear the witch scream,”Noooooooooooo!” She was separated from the now destroyed poltergeist and destined for hell or at the least the Underworld. All the lighthouse ghosts were freed from their forced damnation at the hands of the wicked witch. A few of the ghosts were able to overcome the Curse and finally crossed over into the light that leads Heaven. This was due to them surfing the released metaphysical energy from the poltergeist-like a wave to freedom on Heaven’s sandy shores. Only Drake, Rebecca, and Julia actually saw or felt it take place. Unfortunately, the curse could not be broken! We will continue to figure out how to break it so the lost souls within can finally find peace!

All the chaos stopped and we could see the sunny shores of Luminary Lake outside the window again. The doors opened and everyone ran out to breath a sigh of relief and inhale the fresh summer air. A few of the employees who were non-believers finally accepted the world of the supernatural was real but couldn’t handle it. The rest refused to accept this was real and their sub-conscious conflict traumatized them. Drake, Rebecca, and Julia worked to hypnotize everyone to remember a duller version that was explained as a Halloween haunted house experiment. Hopefully, they wouldn’t have too many nightmares in the following weeks.

The Sheriff locked up the lighthouse but not before Rebecca placed a powerful protection spell upon it ensuring nobody would utilize it for malevolent means! I gave the employees the rest of the day off while us Executives kept working onward in the quest to eradicate supernatural evil from the world! No more field trips on National Light House Day ever again! Lesson Learned!

By Xavier Remington, Mystic Investigations President


Boss’s Day Banquet Baby Ghost

Boss’s Day At A Paranormal Investigations Firm

The generous administrative assistants and wonderful supernatural support staff here at Mystic Investigations threw the executive’s a surprise Boss’s Banquet in honor of Boss’s Day. We donate a small amount of every case we solve to a General Employee Cash Fund. It’s a cash safe in our place that the employees can collectively vote to use for anything they like within our facility without coming to us bosses for permission. It comes in handy when they want to throw a surprise party but sometimes they’ll buy something frivolous like that Pac-Man arcade game console in the employee lounge.  Although I guess I’ve played the thing just as much as anyone else.

A Surprise Party Was Afoot

At Noon we all expected to go to the cafeteria as usual, and instead, we were greeted by all our employees leading us up to our rooftop garden to enjoy a lavish lunch amid the warm windy sun surrounded by fall foliage. This was an issue for our Executive-Vice President Drake Alexander since he’s a vampire who bursts into flames if he stays in the holy Sun too long. Unfortunately, not everyone on staff knows this nor believes it when they hear it. Interestingly some people who work here haven’t a clue they’re at ground zero in the world of the supernatural, and they explain away every enchanted event they may see. This is quite common for the average person who can’t deal with the heart-stopping fear of paranormal perplexities even at the sub-conscious level.  The dashing 740 something Scotsman Drake didn’t want to let the enamored employees down. Especially the ladies who constantly fawn over him. So he dipped into his emergency reserve of Gnomes Blood.  It’s difficult to come by but it’s one of the few things that will allow a vampire to exist in the sun for at least a few hours.  Since Gnomes are creatures of darkness it’s unknown why their blood grants vampires access to the daylight.

An Alluring Autumn Nymph Materializes

There was some minor paranormal activity during our Boss’s Day celebration.  As a kaleidoscopic flood of fall foliage fluttered around us majestically an Autumn Nymph, aka low-level Earth-based seasonal nature deity, materialized from the Paradise Plane to join us for lunch. Or more exactly to join Drake who was only sparsely eating bits of food by dousing it with blood from his trusty pocket flask. It’s one of the few ways a vampire can consume real food. Some people thought it was ketchup or barbecue sauce! The crimson-haired beauty, dressed in nothing but fall frondescence of all colors, was named Magenta. She was replacing another Nymph as the Curator Of Autumn in this particular localized area.  As Magenta partook of food, and drink her tanned skin slightly shimmered in the sunlight. Thankfully not to a Twilight vamp degree!  She had briefly introduced herself to our resident Demi-Mermaid Witch Rebecca Abernathy but Magenta only had eyes from Drake. Oddly enough a fair number of supernatural beings on the good side of the spectrum are attracted to vampires even when they’re evil.  In this case, of course, Drake fights on the side of righteousness in a world teeming with denizens of darkness!

A Baby Ghost Dwells Within Mystic Investigations

After the two-hour fall feast with a spectacular roof view of the colorful countryside, it was time to get back to the supernatural investigations crime-fighting game!  Magenta and Drake mysteriously disappeared for about thirty minutes.  Drake finally appeared again and said Magenta had left.  As he walked past us we noticed a red maple leaf stuck in his wavy raven hair. 🙂  Rebecca came into my office, and said Magenta had bid her farewell while informing us we had a ghost living in our offices! There surely wasn’t one sign of a ghost which is unusual.  It’s even more unusual that the supernatural members of our team didn’t feel it’s presence. I called upon our Ghost Hunter Rob Edmunds & Psychic Julia Hathaway to deal with the issue. We discovered that the ghost was, in fact, the ghost of a newborn baby!  After focusing on the tiny ghost Julia got a psychic vision of the baby girl being born and abandoned by its young mother who was shamed into hiding her pregnancy.  Apparently, she had planned to anonymously leave a message with someone to get the child but the Mother was kidnapped by malevolent mountain men. After that, she was never to be seen again! Unfortunately, it was irrelevant since the baby died of birth complications almost immediately.

A Ghostly Baby Is Released Into The Arms Of A Heavenly Angel

It seems the baby girl ghost had been lying in the woods for well over 150 years, and then in our facility once it was built on that spot. Generally, a baby will go straight to Heaven when it dies.  Although the usual weakness of a baby’s metaphysical-astral body coupled with the spot being a mystical Native American ritual site somehow trapped, and cloaked the ghostly child. Julia indicated the baby was in some manner of happy perpetual womb dream unaware of the outside environment. With the help of an ancient talisman, Rebecca cast a spell to briefly materialize the metaphysical baby into a physical form made of solidified photons. In essence a child of pure light. Julia used her mental powers to allow the baby to perceive biological physical sensations as they brought her out into the sunlight to finally experience the real world. Some of us took turns holding the miracle baby until Julia, and Rebecca saw a white light appear. Julia carried the baby into it, and she had tears of happiness in her eyes. Rebecca became emotional as well while witnessing an extremely enchanted event!  For both of them saw an Angel take possession of the child.  An Angel who was its Mother!  They say there is no supernatural sight more breathtaking than that of an Angel. And of course the indescribable, and unique joy of a Mother being reunited with her child after well over a century!  Happy Boss’s Day To All And To All A Productive 9 To 5!

From The Desk Of President Xavier Remington

Dress As An Autumn Nymph Or Fall Fairy Goddess For Halloween Along With Any Costumed Occasion.

Twitter: #NationalBossDay

The Case Of The Memorial Day Zombie Ghost

Zombie GhostAll of us as at Mystic Investigations had off on Memorial Day. Of course theoretically, we’re never off duty since supernatural darkness never sleeps! Most of us went our separate ways but saw each other at the various festivities throughout the warm sunny day in Woodland Springs, Colorado. This included the annual Memorial Day Parade in the morning.  I noticed an odd grey skinned man wearing a tattered World War II soldier’s uniform complete with faded green helmet.  He was walking among the parade floats with a sinister look on his unsettling face. Our Telekinetic Psychic Julia Hathaway found us and said she felt chills up her spine when the mysterious man looked directly at her! She called his eyes soulless coals of death! The fair Demi-Mermaid Witch Rebecca Abernathy also said something wasn’t right about him. Well besides the stale zombie looking skin. We tried to find him but he disappeared into the crowd without a trace.

Did Nazi Experiments Cause The Impeccable Preservation Of A Corpse?

Later in the afternoon, we attended a solemn service at the local cemetery to honor the men and women of the armed forces who had given their lives to defend our fundamental freedoms. A special ceremony was held in front of the Mulroney Family Crypt. The Mulroney’s were a moderately wealthy family who made their fortune in mining back in the late 1800’s. A long-lived fortune that still allowed them to live like millionaires. The 76-year-old Patriarch Wallace Mulroney was recently informed that his MIA Father’s remains were miraculously found in Germany.  Shockingly they were found rather well preserved in a secret Nazi underground laboratory only discovered mere months ago. There was a media cover-up due to the secrecy of the experiments that were paranormal in nature. Unholy experiments dabbling in immortality!  Records indicate that the loyal Nazi scientists wanted to grant Adolph Hitler eternal rule over Germany, and the world. They had a diabolical plan to not only make him immortal but also imbue him with the full range of psychokinetic powers all humans have in latent form within their junk DNA (Develop PSI Powers). That would have made him an unstoppable God! The world could have easily plunged perilously into terrifying tyranny!  Thankfully the war ended before their plans came to frightening fruition.

A Solemn Service For A Fallen Veteran

Wallace’s MIA Father, Lt. Gerald Mulroney, lied in a closed casket in front of the family crypt as a brief funeral service took place with members of the Armed Forces. The photo on display of Gerald looked familiar but I couldn’t place where I had seen him before. The American flag draping the casket was removed, and folded by the soldiers on hand. Wallace was presented with it. Then the casket was carried inside the dimly lit crypt followed by family members as the doors creaked closed. The casket was to be opened for viewing only by them. This was only possible due to the miraculously well-preserved condition of the body. Those of us there started to walk away when all the sudden we heard screams coming from the crypt.  We ran inside to find a deeply distressed family weeping over an empty casket.  We introduced ourselves as the Mystic Investigation Team and examined the coffin. There were claw marks on the inside, and the casket locks were bent.  Something not seen earlier due to the flag draped over it.  We didn’t quite know how to tell them that whoever was in the coffin forced their way out. So we said nothing.

The Reanimation Of A Deceased World War II Soldier

We regrouped outside, and Julia said she had a vision when she touched the inside of the Spring Graveyardcasket.  She was pretty sure Gerald was the grey guy in the worn army combat uniform we saw at the parade. It became clear this odd person was the same guy in the funeral picture once I looked past the living dead wrinkled skin. We had some kind of walking dead creature on our hands, and I promptly contacted the other team members. We were about to fan out when we heard panicked yelling in the distance. It was coming from the Memorial Day Picnic which had just begun at the park down the trail.  We ran among the gravestones to the woodland trail.  Rebecca, being a supernatural sprinter, reached the clearing to the park first.  However, our vampire Drake Alexander could run faster but was unable to come out in the holy sunlight that would turn him into burning ash!

Memorial Day Chaos Caused By A Monster!

When Rebecca arrived at the park she saw mass chaos as the grey-skinned soldier chased people about while swinging his arms wildly! He was making crazy guttural noises amid muttering some nonsensical gibberish. As he targeted everyone and anything that moved he trashed picnic tables, benches, baskets, and everything else along the way! It was the biggest one-way food fight ever! Men, women, children, and even dogs were running away screaming in fear!  Actually, the dogs made more of a yelping sound as they would stop briefly to slurp up a flying food snack. A bear had wandered slowly in from the woods nearby and promptly turned around bolting away!

Lt. Gerald Mulroney: Sapient Zombie

Once we all arrived at the park we could hear the zombie soldiers gravel voice scream, “You ungrateful brats!  I gave my life for you, and you’ve flushed America in the toilet with your lazy complacency!”  Rebecca raced to him, and stopped Gerald from picking up a woman, and tossing her several feet as he did with others who were lying on the grass in pain.  Rebecca punched him in his ashen face but he just stood there laughing maniacally.  He was about to grab her neck when we all tackled him to the ground.  He was fiercely strong as he growled like a mad man smelling like a rotting corpse.  At that moment my best guess was that he might be a sapient zombie otherwise known as a Zombie Ghost.  Something usually only seen when a ghost gains the power to re-enter their corpse, and self-resurrect.  However, his strength was off the zombie charts when he hoisted all of us off him and sent us flying in all directions!  He leaped to his feet snarling, gripping his hands into tight fists, and running about in an otherworldly serpentine pattern.

Mystic Investigations vs An Angry Self-Aware Zombie!

People were scurrying to the parking lot attempting to leave but Gerald began smashing car engines, and windows along with ripping doors off their hinges. As we approached him again he lifted a minivan, loaded with a family of five, over his head, and launched it toward a large oak tree.  The kids in the back were screeching in terror! If only Drake was here he could have caught it like a giant football. Fortunately Rebecca, and Julia worked together to save them.  Rebecca mustered up all her Demi-Mermaid strength while Julia used her telekinesis to lighten the load on her. Gerald was enraged that we were interfering in his revenge-filled rampage as he blamed everyone for what he saw as the sorry state of our nation.

The Desperate Effort To Save Innocent Lives From A Supernatural Scourge!

He began picking up some boulders nearby and launching them at us.  We dodged them as Rob Edmunds, our Ghost Buster, fired off his extremely expensive customized quantum particle disruption gun. Something normally used to destroy a ghosts foothold in our reality.  It hit Gerald who was dazed for a bit but then he sped to Rob in a flash and crushed the gun to smithereens. Certainly, he was the fastest zombie ever! Gerald slapped Rob across the face knocking him out cold. I approached the monstrous man and lay some of my best Kung Fu, and Ninjutsu moves upon his living dead form. For my trouble, I received a painful punch to the gut. Thankfully, my martial arts training taught me to redirect kinetic energy and spread it all about my body so blows wouldn’t be so destructive. Something essential for a human battling the forces of supernatural darkness!

Monstrous Memorial Day Madness!

We all dove on top of the insanely violent zombie again and attempted to subdue his nutty dead guy! A woman nearby was hysterically crying, “What the hell is going on here! This isn’t real!” amid Gerald’s destruction. She was having some kind of surreal nervous break down as people lie bloodied, and injured. A handful of people managed to speed away in their cars for dear life!  We fought to keep Gerald grounded as he roared, “I endured years of torturous experiments, and I come back to find this once great nation thrust in the dark shadows of damnation!”  I replied, “My God Gerald get a grip and let’s discuss this like rational human beings!”  After that, he just growled, and tried to bite me! One moment he was coherent, and intelligent while the next he was a wild supernatural animal! Julia attempted to reach him psychically but his mind was a chaotic mess. Rebecca couldn’t even get a moment to do a magic spell amid fighting this crazy corpse.

Vampire vs Intelligent Zombie!

Suddenly a sewer grate flew away into the parking lot as Drake the vampire popped his head out motioning to us. His hair began emitting unholy smoke that looked like white steam. This despite the tree’s filtering out some of the sunlight which is destructive to vampires.  We struggled to drag the kicking and screaming sapient super zombie to the sewer hole.  Drake got hold of his uniform with one hand and dragged him down into the dark stinky depths. The entire parking lot shook as an epic fist fight took place below us. Howls and roars bellowed forth from the sewer.  A minute later there was dead silence.  We looked down to see Drake climbing up a ladder. He said, “The zombie bit into me, and drank my blood.  A second later he was dust!”  Drake was careful not to drink Gerald’s blood just in case his origin was zombie in nature since zombie blood, or dead human blood is poison to vampires.  Clearly, vampire blood had a destructive effect on the pile of ashes strewn among a militarily uniform on the wet sewer floor. Now the only remains of a once valiant soldier.

The Usual Media Cover-Up Of A Supernatural Event

Our friend Sheriff Blake Maverick got control of the crime scene.  He gave the usual story to the local media.  Mad man hopped up on PCP! LOL! Amazingly people usually believe it. They’d rather blame drugs than accept the horror it was something supernatural. We also had some key witnesses at the park hypnotized into remembering Rebecca and Julia’s actions differently. We felt bad for the Mulroney Family, who thankfully didn’t realize their relative was behind this Memorial Day mess.  So we had the Sheriff manufacture a story about a casket mix up at the airport.  We delivered a new coffin with a magical Glamour inside that looked like Gerald’s body. Once sealed inside Gerald’s personal burial vault the Glamour would vanish.  Out of respect, and honor for the brave soldier Lt. Gerald Mulroney we dressed the Glamour in his uniform, and placed most of the ashes in the casket.  We saved a small handful for supernatural study. We’re sure Gerald would have been happy to aid metaphysical science in its quest to protect humanity from the forces of darkness!

RIP Lieutenant Gerald Mulroney

Our findings along with what our German paranormal investigations counterparts know of the Nazi lab indicated that the scientists were tapping into the zombie virus to weed out the immortality element minus the rotting corpse of course. Gerald was some kind of reanimated zombie corpse who maintained his faculties during some moments while turning into a rage-filled monster at other times. Evidently, there were paranormal biochemical fluctuations not perfected during the experiment. Evidence also indicated that Gerald died in such a horrific manner that he became a ghost who re-entered his dead body. This made him a Zombie Ghost although be it a very unique one.  Luckily he only bit Drake and tossed everyone else around not even thinking of biting them.  He obviously didn’t have the zombie’s appetite for human flesh or at least hadn’t developed it yet.  Gerald was locked away in a dormant state within some kind of stasis chamber since the 1940’s. We’re not sure of the exact reason why he only woke up on Memorial Day.  Perhaps the spirits of fallen soldiers in our extremely supernatural town awakened him. RIP Lieutenant Gerald Mulroney and Happy Memorial Day to all!

What Is A Zombie Ghost?