Rowdy Ransomware Roust

The Case Of The Cyber-Voodoo Extortionist Hacker!
Ransomware DemandTuesday morning started off with a bang when we were unable to access any of our computer files!  Then we got an ominous email from a horrifying hacker holding our sensitive supernatural files for ransom.  We were a victim of the infamous Ransomware! A computer virus that locks files via an encryption code which gives a hacker leverage to extort money from individuals, and businesses. If we didn’t pay $2.2 million dollars the heinous hacker said our files would be deep-sixed into oblivion, and beyond! This includes our precious paranormal database of supernatural secrets amassed over the last 10 years along with our resident vampire Executive VP Drake Alexander’s 700 years of personal journals painstakingly scanned into digital form. Of course he at least still has the original texts. Conventional hacking is impossible in our paranormal crime fighting facility since our resident witch Rebecca Abernathy had incorporated multi-layered magical encryption with the aid of our computer whiz kid, and Cyborg Zack Powers. Unfortunately it seems we were compromised by a Voodoo Master who called himself Voodoo Victor.  He apparently used a unique computer cyber-curse voodoo virus he paranormally patented to partake of pestering people for extortion money! His emails demanding money were smug, and so full of pride bragging about how he beat the marvelous Mystic Investigations! In fact our angry replies took the ransom from the original $1.3 million to the final $2.2 million figure!  Our bad! 🙂

Fortunately those replies, and responses from this filthy fiend allowed Rebecca, Zack, and our Psychic Julia Hathaway to locate his wretched ransomware rear!  A method of GPS map scrying, and supernatural server tracking did the trick! We’ll give him credit. He was smart bouncing the emails off 13 different computer servers around the world.  He led us to believe he was in Nigeria because we were supposed to wire the money to a Nigerian bank account. However we ultimately found the blasphemous bastard was in New Orleans, Louisiana.  No surprise since it’s nearly the top ranked Voodoo practitioner location in the world, second only to Haiti!  Once we knew where the son of bitch was we toned down our responses, and said we were in the midst of raising the funds.  Drake Alexander had his new private jet prepped at our local airport here in Woodland Springs, Colorado, and within a few hours we were in the air headed to Louisiana for some sweet revenge!

We landed at Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport at about 3 PM Central Time.  We then promptly rented some SUV’s, and raced to Cajun Bayou country!  As we entered the muggy swamps of the Bayou Rebecca began scrying on a local paper map we got at the Chamber Of Commerce.  An hour, and a half later we stopped at the end of a muddy dirt road, and exited our vehicles cautiously.A series of wood boardwalks navigated through the scum ridden swamp ahead of us.  Drake utilized his eagle eyed vampire vision to see a small cabin in the distance.  We were about to walk on to the wood construction when at least a dozen Zombies began blasting out of the Earth at light speed. Clearly such fast moving zombies were the product of magic. Most likely Voodoo!

I bellowed the command,”Evasive walking dead attack pattern Delta Seven!”  Everyone sprung into action as we took out the zombie scourge with extreme unrelenting prejudice!  Everyone fought with their specialty tools of the trade. I used my trusty sword, Drake used his bare hands, Rebecca her magic, Zack his bionic strength, Julia telekinesis, and our Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie just stood there smiling as two zombies barely bit her before racing away to be eradicated by the rest of us! She’s an extremely rare Human-Zombie Hybrid so she’s immune to the Zombie Virus, and her flesh is repellent to the mindless living dead drones. Generally she’d rather not fight, and often plays dead since she can halt her heartbeat, and breathing.  As the despicable rotted remains of the zombies were strewn about, and on us we all jumped in the swamp to wash up a bit.  Then we headed down the boardwalk.


When we came to the cabin we could see three satellite dishes on top, and heard maniacal laughter coming from inside. As we neared the front door we could hear a man talking to someone on the phone,”Yeah I got six different high class chumps pissing their pants! If all goes well it’ll be a cool 11.3 million for us! Who knew Voodoo could be so damn freaking profitable!” Then the crazy cackling started up again before he said,”Yeah bye Foster.” When he hung the phone up we kicked the door in, and I said,”Surprise Motherf@$&*#!”  Voodoo Victor was a giant horizontally challenged slob who was stuffing his face full of Crawfish with some kind of crimson sauce dripping down his greasy white t-shirt.  We startled him so badly he started choking as he frantically grabbed a Voodoo Doll while holding a lighter to it.  He spat up some of the Crayfish he was gagging on, and then stuttered,”Sttt-sttay the the h-h-hell away! When y-you entered that door a magical dust flew on you, and cemented a curse! This doll is you now fools!  I light this bitch, and you’ll all go up in flames! Think I’m joking! Try me!”  Victor then singed the hair on the doll to prove his point. A small tuft of everyone’s hair, except for Drake, and Rebecca, lit ablaze briefly as we patted our heads in a moment of panic!

Voodoo Victor snidely snickered a bit but then inquired,”What the hell? Why didn’t it work on you two?”  Rebecca then smiled slyly saying,”I’m half Mermaid, and he’s a vampire you big dumb dumb! You need a more powerful Voodoo Doll Curse to affect us!” He then nervously chuckled,”Are you crazy? Magic, Zombies, Aliens, and Ghosts are real but the rest is science fiction!”  Drake replied,”You’re a misinformed moron!  We’re from Mystic Investigations, and we want the damn encryption code to our files now!”  Drake then extended his sharp fangs, and caused his eyes to glow raging red!  Victor screamed like a little girl, and lit the Voodoo doll on fire.  Rebecca yelled forth for her active witchcraft power,”Noooo! Mystic Sphere! Nec Aer”  She threw her hands forth encapsulating the doll, and Victor in her pink translucent energy orb.  She also added that no air be in it.  The flames instantly extinguished, and we only felt a few seconds of pain.  Victor was trapped within gasping for air.  I walked up to the clear pink metaphysical energy sphere, and demanded,”Give us the codes now! Your Voodoo is a joke!”  He then gasped,”It’s the blue USB flash drive on the table with your company’s name on it!” I walked over with Zack, and we found it along with a pile of other USB sticks.  There was also information in his computer about everyone he was extorting from.  In addition we found two bank accounts with 3 million dollars in them combined.

Rebecca popped her paranormal bubble, and Drake picked a beyond frightened Voodoo Victor up with one hand lifting him into the air before throwing him across the room causing a table to collapse under his immense weight.  He had to be at least 350 pounds!  Big Vic rested on the floor while sweating like a pig.  He desperately pleaded,”Don’t take anything but your flash drive! I owe powerful people money! They’ll come after you!”  We laughed, and I told Drake,”I guess we can’t let him live now?”  Drake smiled, and nodded as he strolled over literally growling like a tiger. He picked Victor up again, and pretended he was about to sink his fangs into him but stopped short only to mesmerize him with vampire hypnosis.  He made Voodoo Victor not only forget about us but who he even was.  He told Victor he was an Alligator, and then threw him out the window into the swamp water.  Victor peacefully swam away never to be seen again!  We transferred the confiscated 3 million to our offshore Cayman Islands account for redistribution to the victims with the rest, of unknown origin, going to charity. After collecting all the data we lit the cabin ablaze, and drove back to New Orleans. Along the way we sent the codes back to our Colorado headquarters, and an employee was able to unlock all our files!  The man Victor was talking to was named Foster Hanks. Hanks was living in Nigeria so we had some local paranormal associates of ours pick him up, and turn him over to the authorities.There was no evidence of anyone else in on this global computer caper. Hopefully this matter was closed, and there wasn’t any power players involved in this extortion racket.

As long as we were there we decided we might as well spend the night in New Orleans. We ate at the highly honored, and awarded Commander’s Palace which usually requires reservations weeks in advance but Drake, and Rebecca hypnotized everyone. We could have eaten for free but we never use our powers in an immoral way….well not overly immoral anyway! LOL! 🙂  We ended up spending the night at the prestigious Ritz-Carlton Hotel.  Drake actually had an old immortal friend, named Fabricia Albus, who holds a permanent room there, and they caught up on old times. Luckily this was the usual time of year she spent in New Orleans since she travels a lot. Before we went to bed we had walked about the local area including Canal, and Bourbon Streets. On Bourbon Street a charming woman named Lisa Wentworth had her purse suddenly stolen by a petty thief.  Drake caught him in a jiffy, hypnotized the perp to never commit another crime in his entire life, and returned her purse.  Drake, and Lisa talked a bit before we continued experiencing the nightlife of New Orleans until about 1 AM.  It turns out Lisa is the owner of a company in Wisconsin that specializes in wondrous Werewolf traps which we will definitely utilize in the future! Werewolves are people too! We capture, contain, and release after returning to human form at dawn whenever possible!

Mystic Investigations Organization Command Chart
Mystic Investigations Org Chart

The Case Of The Memorial Day Zombie Ghost

Zombie GhostAll of us as at Mystic Investigations had off on Memorial Day.  Of course theoretically, we’re never off duty since supernatural darkness never sleeps! Most of us went our separate ways but saw each other at the various festivities throughout the warm sunny day in Woodland Springs, Colorado. This included the annual Memorial Day Parade in the morning.  I noticed an odd grey skinned man wearing a tattered World War II soldier’s uniform complete with green helmet.  He was walking among the parade floats with a sinister look on his unsettling face.  Our Telekinetic Psychic Julia Hathaway found us and said she felt chills up her spine when the mysterious man looked directly at her! She called his eyes soulless coals of death! The fair Demi-Mermaid Witch Rebecca Abernathy also said something wasn’t right about him. Well besides the stale zombie looking skin. We tried to find him but he disappeared into the crowd without a trace.

Later in the afternoon, we attended a solemn service at the cemetery to honor the men, and women of the armed forces who had given their lives to defend our freedoms.  A special ceremony was held in front of the Mulroney Family Crypt.  The Mulroney’s were a moderately wealthy family who made their fortune in mining back in the late 1800’s. A long lived fortune that still allowed them to live as millionaires. The 76 year old Patriarch Wallace Mulroney was recently informed that his MIA Father’s remains were miraculously found in Germany.  Shockingly they were rather well preserved in a secret Nazi underground laboratory only discovered mere months ago.  There was a media cover up due to the secrecy of the experiments that were paranormal in nature.  Experiments dabbling in immortality.  Records indicate that the loyal Nazi scientists wanted to grant Adolph Hitler eternal rule over Germany, and the world.  They had a diabolical plan to not only make him immortal but also grant him the full range of psychokinetic powers all humans have in latent form within their junk DNA (Develop PSI Powers). That would have made him an unstoppable God! The world could have easily plunged perilously into tyrannical darkness!  Thankfully the war ended before their plans came to frightening fruition.

Wallace’s MIA Father, Lt. Gerald Mulroney, lied in a closed casket in front of the family crypt as a brief funeral service took place with members of the Armed Forces. The photo on display of Gerald looked familiar but I couldn’t place where I had seen him before. The American flag draping the casket was removed, and folded by the soldiers on hand. Wallace was presented with it. Then the casket was carried inside the dimly lit crypt followed by family members as the doors creaked close.  The casket was to be opened for viewing only by them.  This was only possible due to the miraculously well preserved condition of the body. Those of us there started to walk away when we heard screams coming from the crypt.  We ran inside to find a deeply distressed family weeping over the casket being empty.  We introduced ourselves as the Mystic Investigation Team, and examined the casket.  There were claw marks on the inside, and the casket locks were bent.  Something not seen earlier due to the flag draped over it.  We didn’t quite know how to tell them that whoever was in the coffin forced their way out.  So we said nothing.

We regrouped outside, and Julia said she had a vision when she touched the inside of the Spring Graveyardcasket.  She was pretty sure Gerald was the grey guy in the worn army combat uniform we saw at the parade.  I immediately realized it was the same guy in the picture once I looked past the living dead wrinkled skin.  We had some kind of walking dead creature on our hands, and I promptly contacted the other team members.  We were about to fan out when we heard panicked yelling in the distance at the Memorial Day Picnic which had just begun at the park down the trail.  We ran among the gravestones to the woodland trail.  Rebecca, being a supernatural sprinter, reached the clearing to the park first.  However, our vampire Drake Alexander could run faster but was unable to come out in the holy sunlight that would turn him into burning ash! When Rebecca arrived at the park she saw mass chaos as the grey skinned soldier chased people about while swinging his arms wildly, and making crazy guttural noises. As he targeted everyone he trashed picnic tables, benches, baskets, and everything else along the way! It was the biggest one way food fight ever! Men, women, children, and even dogs were running away screaming in fear!  Actually, the dogs made more of a yelping sound.

Once we all arrived at the park we could hear the zombie soldiers gravel voice scream,”You ungrateful brats!  I gave my life for you, and you’ve flushed America in the toilet with your lazy complacency!”  Rebecca raced to him, and stopped Gerald from picking up a woman, and tossing her several feet as he did with others who were lying on the grass in pain.  Rebecca punched him in his ashen face but he just stood there laughing maniacally.  He was about to grab her neck when we all tackled him to the ground.  He was fiercely strong as he growled like a mad man smelling like a rotted corpse.  At that moment my best guess was that he might be a sapient zombie otherwise known as a Zombie Ghost.  Something usually only seen when a ghost gains the power to re-enter their corpse, and self-resurrect.  However, his strength was off the zombie charts when he hoisted all of us off him, and sent us flying in all directions.  He leaped to his feet snarling, gripping his hands into tight fists, and running about in an other worldly serpentine pattern.

People were scurrying to the parking lot attempting to leave but Gerald began smashing car engines, and windows along with ripping doors off their hinges.  As we approached him again he lifted a minivan, loaded with a family of five, over his head, and launched it toward a large oak tree.  The kids in the back were screeching in terror! If only Drake was here he could have caught it like a giant football.  Fortunately Rebecca, and Julia worked together to save them.  Rebecca mustered up all her Demi-Mermaid strength while Julia used her telekinesis to lighten the load on her. Gerald was enraged that we were interfering in his revenge filled rampage as he blamed everyone for what he saw as the sorry state of our nation.  He began picking up some boulders nearby, and launching them at us.  We dodged them as Rob Edmunds, our Ghost Buster, fired off his extremely expensive customized quantum particle disruption gun. Something normally used to destroy a ghosts foot hold in our reality.  It hit Gerald who was dazed for a bit but then he sped to Rob in a flash, and crushed the gun to smithereens. Certainly, he was the fastest zombie ever! Gerald slapped Rob across the face knocking him out cold. I approached monstrous man, and lay some of my best Kung Fu, and Ninjutsu moves upon his living dead form. For my trouble I received a painful punch to the gut. Thankfully, my martial arts training taught me to redirect kinetic energy, and spread it all about my body so blows wouldn’t be so destructive.  Sometime essential for a human battling the forces of supernatural darkness!

We all dove on top of the rage filled zombie again, and attempted to subdue him again. A woman nearby was hysterically crying,”What the hell is going on here! This isn’t real!” amid Gerald’s destruction.  She was having some kind of surreal nervous break down as people lie bloodied, and injured.  A handful of people managed to speed away in their cars for dear life!  We fought to keep Gerald grounded as he roared,”I endured years of torturous experiments, and I come back to find this once great nation thrust in the dark shadows of damnation!”  I replied,”My God Gerald get a grip and let’s discuss this like rational human beings!”  After that he just growled, and tried to bite me! One moment he was coherent, and intelligent while the next he was a wild supernatural animal!  Julia attempted to reach him psychically but his mind was a chaotic mess.  Rebecca couldn’t even get a moment to do a magic spell amid fighting this crazy corpse.

Suddenly a sewer grate flew away into the parking lot as Drake the vampire popped his head out motioning to us. His hair began emitting unholy smoke that looked like white steam. This despite the tree’s filtering out some of the sunlight which is destructive to vampires.  We struggled to drag the kicking, and screaming sapient super zombie to the sewer hole.  Drake got hold of his uniform with one hand, and dragged him down into the dark stinky depths.  The entire parking lot shook as an epic fist fight took place below us. Howls, and roars bellowed forth from the sewer.  A minute later there was dead silence.  We looked down to see Drake climbing up a ladder. He said,”The zombie bit into me, and drank my blood.  A second later he was dust!”  Drake was careful not to drink Gerald’s blood just in case his origin was zombie in nature since zombie blood, or dead human blood, is poison to vampires.  Clearly, vampire blood had a destructive effect on the pile of ashes strewn among a militarily uniform on the wet sewer floor. Now the only remains of a once valient soldier.

Our friend Sheriff Blake Maverick got control of the crime scene.  He gave the usual story to the local media.  Mad man hopped up on PCP! LOL! Amazingly people usually believe it. We also had some key witnesses at the park hypnotized into remembering Rebecca and Julia’s actions differently. We felt bad for the Mulroney Family, who thankfully didn’t realize their
relative was behind this Memorial Day mess.  So we had the Sheriff manufacture a story about a casket mix up at the airport.  We delivered a new coffin with a magical Glamour inside that looked like Gerald’s body.  Once sealed inside Gerald’s personal burial vault the Glamour would vanish.  Out of respect, and honor for the brave soldier Lt. Gerald Mulroney we dressed the Glamour in his uniform, and placed most of the ashes in the casket.  We saved a small handful for supernatural study. We’re sure Gerald would have been happy to aid metaphysical science in its quest to protect humanity from the forces of darkness!

Our findings along with what our German paranormal investigations counterparts know of the Nazi lab, indicated that the scientists were tapping into the zombie virus to weed out the immortality element minus the rotting corpse of course.  Gerald was some kind of reanimated zombie corpse who maintained his faculties during some moments while turning into a rage filled monster at other times. Evidently, there were paranormal biochemical fluctuations not perfected during the experiment. Evidence also indicated that Gerald died in such a horrific manner that he became a ghost who re-entered his dead body. This made him a Zombie Ghost although be it a very unique one.  Luckily he only bit Drake, and tossed everyone else around not even thinking of biting them.  He obviously didn’t have the zombies appetite for human flesh, or at least hadn’t developed it yet.  Gerald was locked away in a dormant state within some kind of stasis chamber since the 1940’s. We’re not sure of the exact reason why he only woke up on Memorial Day.  Perhaps the spirits of fallen soldiers in our extremely supernatural town awakened him. RIP Lieutenant Gerald Mulroney and Happy Memorial Day to all!

What Is A Zombie Ghost?

The Birth Of A Werezombie

WerezombieThere is no report in any paranormal record of a creature known as a Werezombie. At least in the proper context. A Werezombie isn’t a Werewolf-Zombie Hybrid, aka a Zombiewolf but rather a human who transforms into a zombie either by some environmental stimulus or at will. Unfortunately, by accident, we damned someone in to being a Werezombie! A member of the living who can become the Walking Dead at any moment!

We were having some remodeling done at Mystic Investigations headquarters, and one of the construction workers seemed to feel the need to bully the teen member of our team.  Zack Powers our bionic boy wonder, and Chief Technology Officer.  Clearly, he was jealous that someone so young had such a sweet office job along with adults working under him.  He was also a bit drunk as indicated by his behavior, and the odor upon his breath.  Zack laughed it off at first but the man kept ragging on him since the construction was in his work area. We wish Zack would have said something before things escalated.  So apparently at some point, Zack attempted to use the restroom, and the man physically blocked him along with a fair amount of taunting.  Zack pushed him back a bit not using too much of his cyborg strength but then the drunk grabbed his arm forcefully in a fit of anger as he slapped him in the face.  Zack, in turn, got angry and forgot himself. He struck the man in the chest at full force sending him straight through the restroom door and then through the handicapped toilet stall door crashing into the tile walls causing them to crumble before landing beside the toilet.  The man was dead on impact!

Zack stood over his body in a panic checking for signs of life.  He then hit the Mystic Investigations panic alarm that sounded throughout the building along with red flashing lights going off everywhere.  The alarm means all non-essential personnel must leave the building.  Our smartphones gave the Executive Staff the exact location of the alarm being set off.  We all found Zack there in tears as he told us what happened.  We gathered around the deceased man lying next to the toilet while Zack had a panic attack, and ranted about how he would have to spend the rest of his life in jail.  We attempted to calm him down as we discussed what to do. Our Cryptologist Dr. Ashley Abercrombie confirmed he was dead, and calling an ambulance wouldn’t help. He was ready for a Coroner, and the Mortician, with a burst heart, broken ribs, cracked spine, and massive head trauma!

Rebecca Abernathy our Demi-Mermaid White Witch asked us, “Is it worth one of us Toilet Stallpossibly dying, or some of us facing massive life-altering repercussions by using magic to resurrect him?”  As selfish as it might sound we decided it wasn’t.  Especially considering what Zack told us about this guy!  Drake Alexander our resident vampire made it clear that becoming a vampire must be a choice on the persons part, and he would never want to bring such a person across into the eternal dark shadows.  Making someone a vampire is an eternal responsibility for a parent vampire.  Seth Morgan, a Werewolf, inquired if he could do anything.  However he couldn’t be of help in his human form, and it was doubtful if a Werewolf bite could resurrect a totally broken dead corpse.

Zack himself has super healing nanobots coursing through his bloodstream that rapidly heal any injuries to his biological, and mechanical parts.  Unfortunately, a plethora of tests over the last several years showed that they only work on Zack, and become dormant in any other subject including inanimate objects.  Ashley then ran back to her lab and returned with what she called an experimental Immortality Elixir she had been working on.  It was based on her unique Demi-Zombie blood as she is the worlds only known living stable human-zombie hybrid.

Since we had nothing to lose she injected the man with the elixir.  We held our breath for a minute, and then assumed it wasn’t going to work.  We walked away as Zack cried profusely with Rebecca comforting him. Despite the man being a drunken bully Zack would never want to take anyone’s life.  All the sudden a blood-curdling scream came from the toilet stall. We ran back, and the man was sitting upright breathing heavily.  Zack immediately let forth a joyous scream, and sigh of relief.  He helped the man up while apologizing to him repeatedly. The guy was a bit dizzy but in good spirits.  Certainly no longer drunk he apologized for his behavior.  He said he had been going through some rough times in his life and was boozing it up lately.  He remarked how Zack sure knew how to throw one hell of a punch. He couldn’t believe he survived but all was forgiven as Ashley gave him a clean bill of health with all injuries healed. However, she did indicate his heartbeat was unusually slow.  She wanted him to stay for observation overnight but he said he really had to get home.

Drake made a funny look as he sniffed the air while the man walked past.  He then shook my hand as he was about to ascend the staircase to the lobby.  All the sudden his eyes had this blank stare as the iris, and pupils faded to an unholy gray color.  The guys face turned sickly pale, and his hands ice cold.  Within seconds he looked like a Zombie, and lurched forward growling taking a huge bite out of my shoulder! I screamed in pain as a chunk of my bloody flesh dangled from his mouth. Drake immediately grabbed him and tossed him through a wall into an office.  He yelled, “I knew I smelled Zombie!”  The enraged zombie pounced off the ground attempting to attack Drake but he tackled him to the ground punching the zombie repeatedly in the face.  Of course, it’s impossible to knock out a zombie so Drake finally stopped and merely restrained him.  Rebecca and Ashley treated my substantial wound while I feared I would become a member of the living dead!

The zombie was locked way in a sub-basement cage we use to contain Werewolves on Full Moon nights while Ashley examined me in her lab.  I’ve never been sick a day in my life, and have always healed rapidly from wounds. Although Ashley could never find the reason why. However, she did note I had the most perfect DNA sequences she has ever seen in her entire career.  She said there was miraculously no zombie virus in my system despite testing the caged zombie to find he was the real contagious deal!  Rebecca used a little magic along with Ashley using some supernatural treatments to make the wound completely heal within a day.  Ashley apologized for all of this but I told her it wasn’t her fault.  We all knew this was an experiment, and the point was to resurrect him for Zack’s sake.

Caged ZombieOnce the zombie was placed in the cage and left alone the surveillance cameras showed him transform back to a man.  We all ran downstairs to find him completely coherent with no memory of what had happened. Seth then blurted out, “Hey he’s like some kind of a Werezombie or something!”  Ashley then replied, “Yes Seth I think we just accidentally created the worlds first Werezombie!”  The man was angrily puzzled why he was locked away, and why we were talking about such crazy things.  We then showed him security video footage of his transformation, and he was beyond shocked while we informed him about the world of the supernatural being real.  He was beyond agitated and scared that we had turned him into a freak of nature and demanded we let him out of the cage but we couldn’t for the safety of society.  He refused to make a phone call telling his employer, and friends that he decided to go on an impromptu vacation.  Drake used his vampire hypnosis to compel him to do so.  We couldn’t have people report him missing, and then have it trace back to us.

We then began testing him to find out what makes a Werezombie tick.  The primary stimulus that transforms him is the scent of full humans, and touching them as well.  Ashley designed nostril filters to block his olfactory receptors from picking up human scents. He also needs to wear full clothing, and gloves if he’s to have physical contact with people. In the meantime, Ashley is working on a special skin lotion he might wear in order to not look so odd being totally covered up when Summer comes around. Tasting humans is also a factor as witnessed when our telekinetic psychic Julia Hathaway kissed him on the lips for the sake of science.  He immediately transformed but once de-transformed again he wasn’t so mad anymore now that he had a crush on Julia.  Rebecca duplicated the experiment, and he transformed again. This despite the fact she is only half human so that means intimate contact with even supernatural beings of some human lineage could cause him to Zombie out.

Everyone worked with him for the greater part of a week to accept his fate, and perhaps live for the hope that he could control his transformations. Perhaps even maintain his human persona in zombie form so he could be a living dead superhero.  This is why we brought in some good folks from our local Native American Comanche tribe.  They are werewolves who can control their transformations and are completely coherent in wolf form. They’ve been working with Seth since he became a Werewolf, and he’s seen some excellent progress.  Now the man who shall remain nameless, to protect his identity, is excited about the prospect of being a superhero with enhanced strength, speed, agility, and senses.  Each time he transforms into a fresh zombie with minimal rotting so he’s not staggering around like a rigid geriatric.  Ashley also thinks he could be immortal since each transformation repairs his human form completely.  In fact, he remarked how young he looked after his first transformation.  Zombies would be immortal creatures if they didn’t decay like a corpse.

Julia also discovered that his soul disconnects from his body when he transforms into a mindless zombie. Then amazingly reconnects again.  After hypnotizing him he found he had memories of being in the astral dream plane while in zombie form.  He reported that no corridor of light presented itself to him.  Instead, he was tugged back into his body abruptly.  This fits with the fact that Zombies have no soul, and are merely automated bodies out for human flesh to fuel the zombie virus.  Speaking of which it seems the virus is latent while he’s in human form so there’s no danger of turning someone into a zombie as long as he doesn’t transform.  Of course, that can happen within seconds!

We plan to release him tomorrow in the care of the Comanche Werewolf tribe as they work further to rehabilitate him so he can co-exist among humans. His Boss agreed to let him have 6 months off with the promise of his construction job waiting for him thanks to my intervention…and agreeing to pay double for the remodeling project!  We also are paying for his living expenses over the next year since it’s the least we can do. At present we’re allowing him to walk around our headquarters with an implanted tracking microchip.  He agreed it’s the right thing to do for the safety of everyone if he should ever transform, and escape. So far being fully clothed, and wearing the nostril filters is working.  Although he seems saddened he can’t kiss Julia again….for now! 😉