Friday The 13th Warning!

Friday The 13th spawns global Paraskevidekatriaphobia, aka the fear of Friday The 13th, along with Triskaidekaphobia, fear of the number 13 itself. These fears foment into a sub-conscious spirit within the human collective consciousness causing increased bad luck, and dark metaphysical energies. Thankfully like many spontaneous spirits created by the human collective thought process, it’s not a conscious sentient entity. Certainly a pure sapient manifestation of dark luck would be a frightening force to be reckoned with! Unfortunately this massive manifestation of dark energy will be used by nefarious black magic masters to propel their poisonous agenda forth! The dark luck energies will also produce metaphysical maelstroms substantially powering up ghosts, poltergeists, and demons. Expect ever increasing displays of paranormal activity as Friday The 13th progresses. However it’s expected that the Witching Hour through the Devil’s Hour on Friday morning will present the most dangerous activity!

Dark Leprechauns Will Be Afoot
Clurichauns, aka Anti-Leprechauns, feed off the dark luck running rampant along with people’s insecurities as they cause mayhem wherever they can! They will be on the look out for the weak willed down on their luck who will eagerly accept their dark deals. Deals of damnation that will find them in a world of bad luck hurt later down the road. Never make a deal with a Dark Leprechaun, or any being who claims to be a Leprechaun. Leprechauns generally avoid humans so odds are it’s a Clurichaun!

Friday The 13th Demon Specter
Another cause for concern are the rumors swirling about that various powerful factions of evil are attempting to resurrect The Friday The 13th Demon Specter from the Underworld, aka physical Hell. This specialty demon operated free of the Devil’s Hell regime, and fed off paraskevidekatriaphobia, the number 13 in general, and a variety of other frights & anxieties. He was banished there after Mystic Investigations very own witch Rebecca Abernathy lured him into the powerful hands of the Norse Gods Odin, Thor, and Frigga in February of 2015. The Demon Specter is being held in the Norse Hell Dimension of the Underworld under the guard of Hel, daughter of the Norse God Loki, along with other Norse deities. With the Demon now helpless, and at the mercy of Earthly Gods, he has lost his free terror agent status beholden to whoever releases him. So naturally a plethora of dark magical practitioners are clamouring to free him, and use his powers for their own despicable ends! If he should be freed then it’s open season on anyone in a fearful state!

Jason Voorhees
The biggest news is that this is the first Friday The 13th since the resurrection of the deeply dangerous Jason Voorhees! a real metaphysical menace portrayed as fiction in the Friday The 13th movie franchise to deflect any truth of his reality from the public. Jason was merely a dark spirit after having his physical form destroyed by the world famous supernatural warrior team known as The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s. Then on November 13, 2015 The Jason Voorhees Cult managed to resurrect him back into this world! We presume he’s still weak as we only have sparse reports of his movements across the United States. We know he needs this years only Friday The Thirteenth to amp up his dark powers, and prepare for the Summer Camp season. He does love sacrificing those crazy hormonal teens romping about woodland lakes on warm Summer nights! It’s looking like the Voorhees Cult may attempt to organize some kind of party at a Summer Camp near a lake so Jason can swim in a smorgasbord of terrified teen blood! We can only pray that some supernatural crime fighting organization gets there in time to stop it! Perhaps even us here at Mystic Investigations! The Ten Gallon Hat Metanatural’s are scattered across the country looking for Jason as we speak!

If you spot any strange activity from Midnight to 4 AM or so on the morning of Friday The 13th at an abandoned Summer Camp by a lake then contact your nearest paranormal investigations firm or powerful practitioner of magic. If you can’t locate anyone then go ahead, and dial 911. While on the phone with the Operator have the first words from your mouth be “PDA” as in the US Paranormal Defense Agency. Since all phone calls are being monitored in real time by the NSA they will heard that, and immediately relay the recorded call to the top secret branch of the US Defense Agency that deals with supernatural threats. Jason is on their Most Wanted List, and hopefully they can at least do something to reduce the bloody carnage. Generally red tape, bloated bureaucracies, and misinformation plague the US PDA. However it’s better than the local authorities who are ill equipped to deal with such murderous metaphysical matters!

A New Friday The 13th Player For The Forces Of Good?
Despite all this threatening nefarious news there is a new force of good trying to reshape Friday The 13th into something positive! Certainly we have good witches out there attempting to call upon Gods & Goddesses of Friday, such as the Norse Goddess Frigga, for the purposes of battling all the dark luck. Leprechauns are also being drawn into the Friday frey spreading good luck as best they can. Certainly we recommend lucky charms, and positive thinking to aid in your survival of the 13th. However a more jovial yet mischievous force, somewhat akin to The April Fool, is rumored to be making her debut on May 13, 2016. Our investigation has revealed that she is a human born with a paranormal gene that absorbs bad luck. She may have also been born at exactly Midnight on Friday The 13th thereby making her immune to many of the unlucky perils of the day. Apparently she’s a stand-up comic who always enjoyed pranking people as a kid. Now her mission is to marshal dark luck into something hilarious as she will supposedly go around embarrassing people with her pranks, and jokes. You can help out her quest to create a new Spirit Of Friday The 13th by perpetuating good natured pranks as well! If you fall prey to her, or someone else, then try to laugh about it to keeps things positive rather than getting angry. It’s not known if she will call herself the Friday Fool or The Friday The 13 Fool? Hopefully she can go about her business without being attacked by any evil entities! We also hope she doesn’t visit us since we’re already still embarrassed by The April Fool’s tomfoolery perpetrated upon us on April 1! I was personally teleported naked into the shower of a prominent local businessmans wife! Let me tell you it took the magic of our resident witch to get me out of that one!!! Thanks a million April Fool! 🙂