The Valentines Plague Doctor

I, Mystic Investigations President Xavier Remington, led a paranormal team to investigate the Adirondack Abomination in upstate New York. Ultimately we were unable to capture the creature but we did collect a lot of interesting data. The rest of the team, led by Executive Vice-President Drake Alexander, headed to New York City on Valentines Day 2018. They came across the Plague Doctor, Typhoid Mary, and some of his legion of Oath Breakers who are all apart of the greater Plague Doctor Cult! We had originally got wind of something big going down there for the Valentines season but the final intelligence only came to us at the last second! These sick plague loving puppies employed an armada of street walkers to purposely spread new strains of STD’s among the unsuspecting populace. Strains specially created by the Plague Doctor himself. Naturally, these women of the night were charging fees far below that of the average prostitute in order to lure weak-willed men, and even women, into their wanton web of despicable diseases!

Our resident demi-mermaid witch Rebecca Abernathy, telekinetic psychic Julia Hathaway, and demi-zombie Cryptozoologist Ashley Abercrombie posed as prospective street walkers. Rebecca had everyone, including herself, disguised with a magical Glamour spell to alter their appearances. Otherwise, odds are good they would be recognized as members of Mystic Investigations since we are an international supernatural crime-fighting firm! We had learned about a recruitment station in an abandoned wharf side warehouse that would be taking place at Midnight. I swear this sinister stuff always goes down in abandoned warehouses between the Witching Hour and dawn! There our ladies came across the deceptively lovely Typhoid Mary. An asymptomatic carrier of a plethora of diseases including her infamous Typhoid. This meant she could spread disease yet not display any symptoms herself. She wore a surgical mask and kept her distance from everyone as she wished not to infect the participants with various diseases. Thankfully, Rebecca could not catch anything courtesy of her mermaid side. Ashley was half zombie and therefore half dead so it was not a worry for her. On the other hand, Julia was only human so she had to tread carefully.

Ultimately, everyone was selected on the condition they get it on with the Plague Doctor, also known as Dr. Darius Maximilian and Dr. Darius Death. He’s an asymptomatic carrier of every disease known and not known to humankind! Some say he even infected himself with the zombie virus yet remain unaffected! He is the ultimate Patient Zero of everything! This denizen of diseased darkness also has supernatural Disease Manipulation abilities. He can actually decide what disease he will give someone and doesn’t have to always wear his infamous bird’s beak mask. He certainly had it off for what he called “Ritualistic Entry Into His Cult”. That being sex with all the women in the room to spread his sickening STD strains so that they may, in turn, give them to the general populace as a Valentines Day gift. Naturally, he promises magical countermeasures to ensure they don’t suffer the symptoms. However, eventually they do and he could care less if they die once they’ve served their usefulness! He considers the average person a so-called “Useful Idiot”.

Rebecca wanted to put a stop to this so she stripped naked to get the Doctors attention! Indeed he wanted her to be first. LOL! Being a Mermaid-Human Hybrid she was the hottest chick in the room with or without a Glamoured facade. The Doctor made a beeline for her while wearing nothing but a pair of boxers with black crows on them. It would have been a joke if it wasn’t a very real dangerous situation. Rebecca embraced him and then screamed,”Mystic Sphere!” This activated a pink translucent astral energy sphere around her and the Doctor. As she yelled,”movere deinceps!” they shot through the concrete wall sending chunks of stone everywhere!  Typhoid Mary yelled,”Noooooo! Darius!” She ran after him while motioning to some minions near the exits to follow her. The prospective women just stood there with shocked looks on their faces. Ashley and Julia bellowed for the ladies to leave as they were in grave danger. Indeed they ran for the doors. Ashley tapped into her zombie side while Julia summoned up her telekinetic powers to deal with the Plague Doctors minions!

Meanwhile, near the water’s edge Rebecca purposely crashed the Plague Doctor into a huge metal bollard meant for tying up a giant freighter. Her bubble burst and she flew into the ice cold bay. He was dazed as he got to his knees. At that moment our very own Drake Alexander, vampire extraordinaire, bit into his neck with a bellowing roar. His enraged eyes glowing crimson over this despicable servant of darkness. Drake had hoped to weaken him and even acquire his paranormal powers temporarily through his blood. Something vampires can do with most supernatural beings. However, upon ingesting his beyond vile tasting blood laden with toxic disease he knew it was a mistake! Drake fell to the ground literally sick to his stomach as the brownish red sludge the Plague menace calls blood oozed down his chin.

The Doctor Of Death rose forth holding Drake’s neck and lifting him into the air with super strength! All the while cackling like a wacko! He glared at Drake saying,”Oh filthy vampire did you really think you were a match for me!? I’ve survived countless centuries and gone up against far greater than you! Still, this is fortuitous as I have a wonderful new disease brewing in me you might like a taste of. A virus I’m hoping will kill every one of you vexing vampire vermin! You have the honor of being my first test subject. Since you drank my blood the virus is in you as we speak. Unfortunately, the viral strain is stubbornly dormant so I need to give it a little kick to let loose its living hell upon your blood sucking DNA!” He grabbed the weakened Drake and pulled his head downward while displaying a sinister smile. The Plague Doctor’s eyes glowed a toxic brown hue as he was about to literally plant the kiss of death upon Drake.

Thankfully, a now clothed and De-Glamoured Rebecca fired forth a volley of mini Mystic Spheres or metaphysical energy balls. The Doctor cried out in pain and dropped Drake to the ground. The Plague Doctor then fell to the ground himself while screaming in agony as Rebecca began shooting lightning from her hands courtesy of her relationship with quite a few Lightning Goddesses. Rebecca’s eyes glowed green with the magic of witchcraft but began turning yellow as red illumination born of anger mixed in. She not only knew of the evil suffering this man had spread through the centuries but also sensed it within him as well. It was time for him to die in order to save countless future lives! She called upon all her magics and let the dark doctor have all of it with extreme prejudice! It seemed the living paranormal plague was about to expire when Typhoid Mary tackled Rebecca into the dark chilling waters of the wharf!

Back inside the warehouse, Ashley’s eyes turned zombie gray just short of silver as she attempted not to lose herself in mindless madness! She bit into some of the thugs with a low guttural sound vibrating forth. Julia telekinetically tossed crates and other large objects at the rest. One pulled out a gun and fired but she changed the route of the bullet to hit the wall instead of her! Julia had taken out her punks and had to pull Ashley off the last one as she began eating him alive! Ashley pushed her away with eyes now a reflective silver as flesh and blood dripped down her pale white chin. She growled as Julia reached her mind with empathic abilities to calm her down. Ashley snapped out of it and was human again! The dynamic duo ran outside to see where everyone else went.

Rebecca was quite drained due to all the power she mustered up and was having quite a time tussling with Typhoid Mary in the frigid water. Mary herself had enhanced strength like the Plague Doctor. This courtesy of the Gods that they worship. That being two of the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse. Pestilence and Death! Rebecca was more agile in the water being half mermaid and eventually tapped into her hydrokinetic powers to shoot Mary back onto the dock in a torrent of water. Rebecca wriggled out of the water like an excited dolphin minus the tail. Her eyes illuminated sapphire with the heritage of Atlantis behind her. Ashley and Julia ran up stopping the Doctor from crawling away. Rebecca punched Mary in the jaw knocking her out cold! Drake rested against a bollard extremely ill from the poisonous blood. The weakened Plague menace sneered and angrily declared,”You have no idea who you’re dealing with! The wrath of Pestilence and Death will be brought down on you like a plague of rapid diseased locusts!”  Everyone shrugged and Rebecca smiled saying,”Sounds like fun plague boy!”

Rebecca wanted to kill the whole lot of Plague Cultist scum. Heck, quite a few of the minions were dead by Ashley’s zombified bite and Julia’s launching of heavy crates upside heads! Drake ordered them to take the Plague Doctor and Typhoid Mary into custody so we could turn them over to the great Sorcerer Ian McTavish. He owns a super maximum paranormal prison in addition to running his Magic School in Scotland. Rebecca reluctantly took out magically spelled shackles and placed them on the disgusting duo. Suddenly the already cloudy skies grew ominously thick with black fog swirling down onto the dock. Thunderous lightning crackled across the skies! The Plague Doctor snickered in triumph,”Ah yes fools I feel the presence of Death! Your time is up!” Indeed a skeletal specter wearing a black hooded robe and holding a large sharp scythe appeared! It was the ultimate Grim Reaper Death himself!

Death swung his scythe at Rebecca but Drake sprung forth and took the blow to his chest. It caused a gaping wound but didn’t kill him since he’s a vampire and technically dead. Rebecca shot Death with an enchanted energy volley but he absorbed it while letting loose a laugh so loud it caused immense pain in everyone’s ears and shattered all the windows in the warehouse. His spectral form became more solidified as he took complete physical form. Rebecca tried again but her magic was no match for this literal personification of death for the entire Omniverse! Nothing short of Omnimagic would possibly work against this terrifying titan! The Plague Doctor begged,”My deliciously dark Lord please accept everyone here except my dear Mary as sacrifices to you and your honorable comrade in arms Pestilence!” Death responded,”Yes my son I accept these sacrifices!” The Grimmest Of Reapers waved his hand and the shackles disintegrated from his and Mary’s wrists. They both sprung up re-energized and smirking in smug glee!

Death’s eyes amazingly glowed black! He then exclaimed,”And now you all shall die! The vampire and the zombie will be excised leaving only their humanity for my scythe of death to take! You will live within my dark void for all eternity!” He swung his implement of terror wildly but a thick thunderous beam of orange flames knocked his scythe from his hand. Everyone was shocked to see it was the Devil himself with his young son the Anti-Christ in tow. The boy appeared to be about 7 years old even though his birth in April 2015 would only make him 3. Death was a bit surprised but quickly recovered as his sharp implement flew back to his hand. He then angrily yelled,”Satan you really think you’re a match for me?” The Devil replied,”Perhaps not but with my son, my Archdemons, and the King Of Hell we might stand a chance!” The Super Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo stepped from a flaming portal with several Arch-Demons following him. It seems the war for power in Hell was over and Diablo entered into a truce with the Devil! Diablo’s magic was so amazing that he was able to oust the Devil from power even being only human! Both had their own demonic factions and Diablo accepted remaining King so as long as he accepted the Devil as Hell’s Emperor. The Devil would be busy with Armageddon War plans while Diablo managed Hell itself with the gift of additional Archdemon abilities.

Death inquired,”Why do you care what happens to these puny physical beings?” The Devil replied,”They’re destined to be major players in the apocalypse and I’m a stickler for prophecy!” Diablo added,”You’re also forbidden by God from being on Earth until your own prophesied Armageddon battles. I’d leave before Archangels get wind of your presence here!” Death laughed and replied,”Oh yes you boys love playing by the rules! As for you Diablo I will be reaping you very soon! Until we meet on the battlegrounds of the end times!” Death vanished into a black fog with the Doctor and Mary in his grip! After they were gone everyone stared in awkward silence.  Drake muttered,”I guess we should thank you…” The Devil interrupted,”Don’t think I haven’t forgotten your role in trapping me on Earth during the First Battle Of Armageddon! It may have turned out for the best in the end…” He turned to smile at his new partner Diablo who was now no longer the eternal loner. “…but I never forget a wrong against me! Mystic Investigations will ultimately die a horrendous death on my battlefield of brimstone and blood! Then I will drag your souls to Hell for all eternity!”

Drake, Rebecca, Julia, and Ashley looked on in silent shock as the skies abruptly cleared and rays of white light streamed down on everyone. The Devil then yelled,”Oh crap back to sweet Hell everyone!” The devilish gang re-entered the portal of Hell and disappeared. At that moment the white light vanished as well but not before healing Drake’s wound along with the sickness caused by the Plague Doctor’s nasty blood! Truly it was simultaneously the most terrifying and then the most peaceful experience ever! Rebecca said,”Darn I thought we were going to see some angels!” Drake replied,”Ah someday Rebecca! Someday! Let’s call the police to collect the thugs left alive in the warehouse. I’m sure the criminal scum have warrants for their arrests.” They all stopped at an all-night diner to eat before flying away in the Mysticopter hidden nearby. They picked the rest of our team up in the Adirondack Mountains and home to Woodland Springs, Colorado we flew!

Final Footnote: Drake Alexander has always been a free spirit who cares not for the Transylvanian vampire royals. However, he extended an olive branch and told them that The Plague Doctor may have a virus that kills vampires. Now all vampires have standing orders to kill Doctor Death on sight if they can! [Twitter]

Daring Daylight Attack Of The Damned

The Offices Of Mystic InvestigationsYesterday at Noon our office were raided by thirteen supernatural warriors who we believe are minions of Dimitri Diablo.   If so then he communicates orders to them through his astral powers.  We’ve never been attacked in such a blatant manner in broad daylight at our very home base of operations. I’m embarrassed to say we were caught off guard, and some of us nearly lost our lives.  I myself was launched through a second story window into the sun blazing parking lot.  The minute I hit the pavement I was met with machine gun fire coming from a black van blocking my entry back into the building.  The bullets were silver, and I lie helpless as my blood began to literally boil while smoke rose from my skin within the rays of the holy sun.  The silver bullets felt like daggers holding me down in the pavement as a figure emerged from the van in a dark hooded robe with various symbols written in blood upon it.  One of them was the sign of Dimitri Diablo.  He had a dark glowing violet crystal with black heart at the center that would pulse with evil red light every so often.  He began reciting an incantation, and I could see a stream of energy leaving my chest as he held it over my heart.  I could not see his face but his crimson glowing eyes stared at me with a maniacal glee as he said,”Now vampire your power essence shall be made ready for my master.”  I had no idea a vampires power could be extracted, and used by another.  I thought all hope was lost as flames began to rise from all over my body.  My fine hand tailored suit lit ablaze as the demon possessed minion, or so I assume, cackled loudly.  I prayed to the Gods that one member of the team would be able to get to me in time.  It’s usually Rebecca but I found out later she had her hands full with a powerful Sorcerers Apprentice who may have ties to Diablo.  He was most likely his understudy.  Suddenly an extremely angry female voice bellowed forth from the roof of Mystic Investigations.  My blurry eyes could barely make out the form of Duanna on the roof in a flowing white sparkling gown.  The sunlight seemed to not effect her.  She had yelled,”You who has dared to take life away from my son for which I have given shall now meet his untimely end!”  She then flew down from the roof, across the lawn, and into the parking lot using amplified telekinetic powers via the consumption of blood from various powerful paranormal beings.  One of which was gnomes blood which is why the sun didn’t burn her.  She landed on the cloaked demonic figure which caused the crystal to fly from his hand.  She quickly tossed me a vile of Gnome blood.  As it rested on my abdomen I could barely reach for it.  I fumbled the entire glass vile into my mouth, and crunched away.  Meanwhile Duanna ripped the hood off him to reveal a disgusting gray skinned form that appeared to be a human under long term demonic possession.  He then shot green energy beams from his hand while screaming,”Die bitch!”   Duanna deflected it with her hands.  He then roared with anger, and grabbed her neck attempting to rip her head off but she grabbed his wrists, and twisted them until they snapped like pretzels.  He cried out in agony,”Master do not forsake me!”  Duanna then exclaimed,”Your words fall upon deaf ears dark minion.  Now vengeance shall be mine.  May you be damned to the darkest abyss in the deepest bowels of hell for all time!”  She then grabbed his head, and twisted it lightening fast thereby snapping his neck.  As he collapsed on the hot black pavement I lie naked due to my clothing being burned away.  I was still smoking a bit but the flames had been extinguished by the Gnomes blood.  My skin was burnt red, and Duanna picked me up in her arms, and kicked the van out of the way causing it to roll over several times into a tree which fell over.  She walked right through the glass front door causing it to shatter all over the place.  She rested me on the couch in our visitors lounge, and placed a cushion over my private parts.  Duanna then kissed my forehead, and told me to heal.  She then went off to help the rest of the team.

Rebecca’s Rampageous Bilderberg Battle

Chantilly Marriott HotelHi I’m Rebecca Abernathy, Mystic Investigations Vice-President In Charge Of Witchcraft.  As mentioned in a previous blog post, our team was hired by a clandestine Anti-Illuminati Billionaire to infiltrate the infamous, yet once secret, Bilderberg Conference, which is code named the 2012 Palm Tree Conference, in Chantilly, Virginia at the Westfields Marriott Chantilly Conference Center.  The Bilderberg Group is an arm of the Illuminati, aka wealthy elite plutocrats who control the governments of the world, that act as a directorate for the global shadow government.  This shadow government, aka New World Order, is run by billionaires, royalty, and various supernatural beings.  Our entire team had booked rooms well in advance last year but everyone in the hotel was kicked out to maintain the secrecy of the Illuminati meeting.  However we did line up jobs, and entered into magical disguises courtesy of my witchcraft glamouring.  Me, and my associate, Drake Alexander, Mystic Investigations Senior Vice-President, and vampire extraordinaire, were tasked with specifically gathering intel at a sub-conference called the SRA conference.  The SRA meeting was a special meeting just for the paranormal beings who are apart of the New World Order.  The following is my account of our run in with the notoriously evil, and diabolically dangerous Sorcerer Dimitri Diablo who is jockeying for position in the struggle for Universal power.  The Illuminati extended an olive branch to Diablo because of his dangerous power, and hatred of the Illuminati and the Devil they worship.  He wants to be God of the Earth, Hell, and even the very Universe itself.  No one human has ever amassed so much power on their own before, and the delusions of grandeur have created an unprecedented God complex within the twisted yet highly intelligent mind of the demented Sorcerer.

We all arrived at the Chantilly Marriott hotel on May 30th, 2012 and found that everyone was being asked to leave the hotel.  We then re-entered our Mystic RV, and I magically glamoured everyone with a new appearance so we wouldn’t be recognized by the hotel staff, or anyone at the conference who we may have had dealings with in the past.  This included Dimitri Diablo who our paranormal team met on a mission in India recently.  We then showed up for our jobs we had lined up in the hotel so we could surveil the Illuminati in what we call Operation Palm Tree.  Me, and Drake were waiters at the supernatural meeting which included vampire royalty, reptilian extraterrestrials, Lycan royalty, various practitioners of magic, and even an actual biological demon who was said to represent the Devil himself at the conference.  We steered clear of the demon because I feared he would see through our glamours.  However the evil we felt from him, and the fear it instilled in us was nothing compared to the sinister Dimitri Diablo.  At some point Diablo entered the conference hall, and silence came over the entire room.  The demon, and Diablo had a stare down that lasted for a few minutes but the demon backed away, and Dimitri sat down in his flamboyant glittering gold sorcerers robe with purple silk fringes.  Oddly enough the first thing he ordered was a Diet Coke.  Rather unusual for an immortal to order a diet soda.  Drake took his order, and he was deeply disturbed when he looked into his cold coal black blood shot eyes.  It takes a lot to scare a vampire, and Drake was definitely rattled by the horrific being.  The same thing happened to me when I took his order for more Diet Cokes, and a blood rare goat steak.  I’m a powerful witch but I knew he could crush me in a second if he wanted to.  Just being in the same room as him made my skin crawl.  He truly was the quintessence of evil on Earth!

Diablo spent most of the time arguing with everyone including the human Illuminati members who wanted him to join their ranks.  However the fear he instilled in them kept the confrontations to a respectable level.  He seemed to think he was invited to lead them as his personal minions of evil but they all had big egos, and God complexes.  Finally he told everyone to get the hell out of the room so he could think for a while.  Unfortunately his thinking spewed forth some powerful magical vibrations.  Vibrations that caused my magical disguise to wig out as I was cleaning up some mess at the Gnome table.  Those little bastards really make a mess!  Diablo was drinking his Diet Coke when he looked over, and recognized me. He drops his Diet Coke on the floor, and screams,”BITCH!”  Or maybe he said,”WITCH!”  It scared the hell out of me so I’m not really sure. He then raises his hands ready to destroy me with one of his patented massive energy balls, and nothing happens. The look of panic in his eyes was priceless as he kept moving his hand around in front of him.  At that moment I yell,”Mystic Sphere!” to activate my personal magical energy bubble but nothing happened. It then dawned on me that a protection spell on the building was in place to protect the Illuminati.  It must have been beyond powerful in order to block Diablo’s massive powers.  I hoped it was only for powers, and not to prevent all harm within the hotel because I really wanted to beat the hell out of the smug Sorcerer.

I walk over with a sly smile on my face, and tell the magically impotent Diablo,”It’s a protection spell you dumb dork!” I then kick him in the balls, and he doubles over in pain groaning as I knee him in the face. He fell to the floor in agony probably having never felt pain for the centuries he’s existed on Earth. He looked so pathetic like he was going to cry, and I was no longer afraid of him. It seemed like he was never in a regular human fist fight in his entire immortal life. He only knew the power, and protection of his magic.  Now he will know the power of human will power, and my need to exact revenge for the countless humans he has killed or brought suffering upon.

Drake ran out of the kitchen toward us with his eyes glowing yellow, and fangs extended. He had a silver sword in his hand as he bellowed,”Kill him now Rebecca! This is our only chance!” I guess I froze because I’ve never killed anyone before but for a moment I contemplated strangling him with my bare hands since I had no weapon handy.  Dimitri bolted up at that moment, and rammed into me causing me to fall over a table on to the thick royal blue carpeting. The shocked Sorcerer then burst through a window but not before Drake sliced his back with the sword. Diablo lay out in the sunlight with shattered glass all around him on the lush green lawn. He was cut everywhere, and as he staggered up we could see blood gushing from his back. I had just gotten up, and I screamed,”No!” as Drake ran into the sunlight to finish him off. Drake began swinging his sword at the daunted Diablo who kept ducking out of the way. All the sudden his wounds healed instantly, and his trademark devilish grin returned as he gazed upon his healed arms, and hands no longer sporting bloody wounds. As Drake took another swing Diablo didn’t move out of the way but rather caught the sword in his hand, and caused it to crumble into silver dust. He then began laughing maniacally as he grabbed Drake by the neck, and lifted him up with his magically enhanced super strength. Now out of the hotel he was free of the protection spell.  He held Drake in the direct holy sunlight which he had amazingly withstood for a minute but now white smoke began to rise from his ever reddening skin. Diablo then roared,”Ah yes vampire vermin you shall expire from existence this day!” Bilderberg private security was moving in from all around but then Dimitri screamed,”Be gone with you heathens! This is my sinister symphony to conduct!” He raised his hand, and some massive vibrations could be seen in the air radiating from him in all directions. It knocked out all the security as I ran out freed of the protection spell, and shouted,”Mystic Sphere bastard!” My pink energy sphere formed around me as I touched Drake who was starting to burst into flames. The mystical sphere hit Diablo, and sent him crashing clean through a storage shed nearby.

Once within my protective magical sphere Drake ceased flaming, and began to heal. Diablo’s unholy other worldly shrieks echoed everywhere as he levitated toward us with red glowing eyes, and violet electrical energy jumping back, and forth between his hands. He hellishly hollered,”Now you will both meet your maker for daring to defy Diablo! You will perish from this planet today, and your very immortal souls will be mine for all eternity!!” His electrical energy hit my Mystic Sphere causing the surface to ripple like pink water which has never happened before. It took everything I had to keep my energy field up as Dimitri hit us with his magical barrage. Drake then said,”Forgive me Rebecca!” He then bit into my neck briefly shocking me, and partaking of my magical witch blood so that he could acquire a duplicate of my powers. Drake growled, and his eyes glowed red as he bellowed,”Mystic Sphere!” We then had a rare double energy sphere form around us. His sphere was light blue as it usual is for males, and it caused the combined sphere to be a light violet in color. The ripples stabilized, and it looked like we were going to repel his attacks. Diablo was enraged, and still weakened by the powerful Illuminati protection spell which was most likely created by Arch-Demons or the Devil himself since that’s who they draw magical power from. He seemed to be pushing his power as far as he could, and the combined sphere began to have violent waves in it. It was getting unstable as both me, and Drake strained to keep the sphere alive. Just then Hunter Jackson hops over a fence nearby yelling,”Die Diablo!” as he fires off his machine gun. The bullets hit Dimitri, and caused minor surface wounds. However it was enough to distract him, and end his magical warfare. He then pointed his hands at Hunter but was flung into a large oak tree by psychic Julia Hathaway with her telekinetic powers. Zack Powers was right behind her, and he began uprooting trees with his bionic arms, and lopping them at Diablo keeping him from getting up. Hunter then fired more silver-steel projectiles as me, and Drake called upon Fulgora, the Roman Goddess of Lightening, for power. We then shot streams of purple lightening from our hands which struck Dimitri causing him to scream out in agony. His Sorcerers robe caught on fire, and he was left only wearing some odd looking granny panties that didn’t burn for some reason. As if he wasn’t weird enough already!

We had this bastard pinned down real good for the first time anyone can remember. Xavier Remington then bolted from the front of the hotel as three Illuminati security goons attempted to tackle him. He stopped, and round house kicked two of them on the ground, and beat the hell out of the other with his Kung Fu. We ceased our attack, and Julia used her telekinesis to hold him down. Me, and Drake did the same with the force of the Mystic Sphere. Zack physically held him down as well. Xavier then pulled out the fabled diamond dagger given to us by the great Sorcerer Ian McTavish. It is said that this mystical dagger, fashioned from the largest diamond on Earth, had the power to kill any sorcerer. Xavier raised the iridescent glittering dagger, and plunged it into Diablo’s dark heart. The scary sorcerer now had a look of fear on his fading face. His own glamour disguise blinked out, and we finally saw his true appearance which he always kept hidden from the masses. He was a horrific looking bony corpse like being. Almost zombie looking without the rotting flesh. His skin was gray, and he looked desiccated with a small tuft of bright white hair. We were all horrified by his pathetic appearance. I assume this was the result of utilizing dark magics beyond the limit of his physical form which is human….just barely. Once the shock of his disgusting form wore off we were all relived that the threat of Diablo was over as he lie motionless on the grass in the warm afternoon sun.

Some members of the Illuminati walked out, and thanked us for finishing off our common threat. We made it clear we didn’t do it for them but they still asked us to join them in their quest for global domination. We were promised top security positions among the 13 ruling elite families of the Illuminati. We told them that we’d rather rot in hell. They all laughed sadistically, and a frail, yet deeply sinister looking man in a wheel chair, ordered their group of 23 practitioners of magic to destroy us. We all gathered together as their sorcerer, witches, warlocks, and wizards faced us with hands, and wands raised at the ready. Me, and Drake screamed “Mystic Sphere!” We expanded it to encompass all of the Mystic Investigations team as they let loose a rainbow colored attack of deadly magics. The large violet sphere began faltering almost immediately, and we all knew it was the end for us. Only Xavier had faith as he exclaimed that ancient prophesy told us we were major players in the apocalypse so we couldn’t die yet. Some how we would be spared from the deadly clutches of the New World Order by holy fate. The sphere burst, and a blinding flash of white light appeared. As our eyes adjusted everything in the general area appeared to be lit by a black light. Everything had a purple hue among the dark shadows. We looked up at the sun, and it looked purple as well. A familiar sinister laugh echoed forth, and we all turned to see Diablo floating above us with his glamour restored so he appeared to be a healthy young male with dark black hair again. He even had a new glittering gold robe on except it had red silk fringe rather than the previous purple. All the Illuminati, and their magical warriors looked deadly scared as Diablo proclaimed,”Thank you for killing me with the Diamond Dagger Of Hemmingsworth Mystic Investigations! It was my literal ticket straight to hell where I had the pleasure of engaging in the ultimate battle of exquisite evil with the now defunct Devil. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to defeat the denizen of doom.  However I did shackle his flimsy fallen Angel ass in the Jinn dimension. It seems the Jinn have issues with him over his part in locking their kind up in bottles, and lamps to create Genie slaves. Now tough little brimstone boy is in a hell all his own. Ah yes you ridiculous Illuminati fools! You will bow to me now for I am the new King Of Hell! You will do my bidding! I am the New World Order now! All evil beings who have pledged allegiance to the demonic minions of hell are now enslaved to me. I said bow to me human slugs!” Diablo then shot red energy bolts from his hands causing the Illuminati members, and their magical minions to bow on the grass before the insanely evil Dimitri.

We refused to bow to him, and since we never served hell he could not make us. He then cackled, and said,”You will be spared for now my good friends at Mystic Investigations. Especially you Xavier. I had a vision many weeks ago that you would dive the diamond dagger into my heart, and I would recite an ancient incantation as my dark soul stood outside my body on the precipice of the Afterlife. It amplified my power, and gave me the ability to navigate the higher dimensions including hell. Once I attained the powers of hell from the easily defeated Devil I resurrected myself to claim my rightful throne to Earth as well. Next stop the Heavens! The Universe will be mine! Do you hear me God! I own you! I own you all!” He then flew away in a burst of neon red light as his sinister snickering could be heard through out the Chantilly Virginia countryside.

As of posting this story we haven’t heard from the Devil Diablo nor seen any extraordinary evils take place.  No one person besides God should have such immense powers.  God only knows what this hellish horror has planned for humankind, the Earth, and the Universe in general.  All we know for sure is that the forces of goodness, and light shall prevail in the end for the souls of humankind have the ultimate power to change our reality.

Please feel free to leave me any questions you might have about Operation Palm Tree.