Vampire Warning In Effect!

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Vampire warning is now in effect due to a hoard of vampires being spotted.  Since Halloween is fast approaching we can expect to see above average supernatural activity.  It is advised that you stay indoors after sunset and do not invite anyone in you don’t know.  Without an invite a vampire cannot enter your home so you can rest assured that all will be well within your walls on these cold dark autumn nights.  If you must venture out after dark then please wear garlic oil and carry holy water and a cross with you.  A silver and wood stake might come in handy if a vampire attacks you but you must stake them directly in the heart.  Also be wary if an overly beautiful woman or handsome man comes on to you when nothing like that has happened to you before.

Previous Werewolf warning remain in effect since sightings are still being reported after dark.  Please see our previous forecast posts for more information on this situation.

Gnome activity has waned some due to the werewolves and vampires scaring them back deep into the woods although we still advise keeping a close watch on your kids as they are easy prey for Gnomes.

We have also seen a noticeable spike in poltergeist activity in and around cemeteries along with houses built before 1919 or places where traumatic deaths occurred.  Please contact a trained ghost hunting professional if you feel a poltergeist is afoot.  Never take on one alone as there is nothing the average person can do.  All we can recommend is to try not to feel fear as they feed off it.  Extreme anger will also intensify their malicious rage.

Minor increase in witchcraft spells seen but there’s no cause for alarm.

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