The Labor Day Time Traveler

LakesideOur paranormal investigations team had It’s annual Labor Day Picnic at Luminary Lake. All was well until a crazed looking man in his early 20’s, named Chad Addams, ran up to our group of tables. I nearly choked on my hot dog as he yelled,”Are you the Mystic Investigations folks?” He claimed he had time traveled from the year 1970 via a one way time machine he invented. Apparently he was smart enough to check a phone book for paranormal investigators as anyone else would brand him a loon! Our phone message told him we were at the park by the lake celebrating Labor Day.

Chad had purposely set his time machine for 40 years into the future to see the wonders he had dreamed of.  His device was off by 6 years but he was still deeply disappointed. The internet, and little smart gadgets were somewhat “groovy”, as he put it, but in general the future didn’t look very futuristic! He was especially puzzled by the clunky looking cars, and the amazing number of pick-up trucks. Especially with the depleted number of farms. We explained to him that the farm truck craze was an odd effect of low self-esteem in our society. Bigger vehicles make many feel tough in a time when they feel helpless in the face of our broken society. He had expected to see sleek sports cars everywhere as most visions of the future have. He was also disappointed by the lack of progress after the Moon landings, and thought we would have Moon colonies along with the first person already being on Mars by now.  We pointed out that the space race eventually petered out, and NASA was seriously underfunded.  Although most likely a new space race would flare up with China who has future plans to conquer the Moon!

Our Psychic Julia Hathaway confirmed he was a time traveler from the past.  All courtesy of a crude device intended for his final college physics project.  A device that didn’t travel with him, and propelled him forward into time.  He had optimistically assumed mainstream time travel would exist by now so he could return to the past!  We searched the internet for a scientist bearing his name but found none. We searched further though the wizardry of wi-fi to discover he had been reported missing in 1970, and later declared dead by his family in 1972.  As an only child he was devastated to find out his parents had died in the early 2000’s!  Clearly he had never returned home. We informed him that we could probably return him to 1970 with the help of our witch Rebecca Abernathy, and her coven. Of course he would end up in a near identical parallel Universe just as he had arrived from into ours.  All time travel including everyone’s daily jaunt one minute at a time into the future moves us five dimensionally to near identical realties. The Universe’s way to prevent perplexing paradoxes.

Unfortunately with Halloween just around the corner the coven couldn’t compromise their paranormal power reserves in the battle against evil.  Time travel uses a mega load of metaphysical energy!  The best we could do is January of 2017 but there was also the option of taking him to Santa Claus’s North Pole City.  A place top flight supernatural warriors such as ourselves go to unwind each Christmas.  Surely Santa, a Demi-Angel, could send him home.  As long as Chad knew he could go home he was fine with exploring our time for a matter of months. He joined us on our Labor Day picnic, and noted how the food tasted different from his time. Especially the sweets. We mentioned the artificial sweeteners, high fructose corn syrup, GMO’s, and other additives poisoning our food supply. He was shocked the average citizen didn’t seem to care just so as long as they could keep their weight down. Yet he couldn’t believe how many overweight people there were as well! He even noted that the air smelled different. I said it was probably the government’s top secret geoengineering chemtrail projects. He just shook his head in disbelief, and said,”Man Nixon would never pull this type crap!”  We all laughed, and told him about Tricky Dick’s downfall. Not to mention Gerald Ford’s fall down various steps across our great nation!

I let him watch Back To The Future Part 2 On Netflix, and said I was disappointed as well in 2016!  Chad was certainly impressed by the amazing special effects of movies. We were all having fun when two men wearing black suits approached us, and grabbed Chad as one forcibly stated,”He’s coming with us!” Our team immediately grabbed them, and I said,”I don’t think so pal!” They presented their ID’s as US Paranormal Defense Agents but Julia knew they were a fraud.  We dragged them into the woods away from prying eyes, and Drake Alexander, our hypnotic vampire, finally convinced them to tell the truth! They admitted they were time cops from the 25th century, and had detected a temporal incursion.  They were well aware of my time traveling brother Michael Remington, currently lost in time, who they consider a temporal offender. I then said,”You know we’ve told you people before that time travel sends everyone to parallel Universes so this temporal enforcement crap is useless!” The agent replied,”Sir we have no scientific evidence of that! Until that day we must assume the timeline has been compromised, and act accordingly! We apologize for any inconvenience but this man must come with us!” I answered,”Well no matter what he’s not coming with you!”  The agent demanded,”It’s imperative that he comes with us Sir! If not us then others will follow until the mission is complete! ”

They planned to take him to the 25th century since his knowledge of time travel in the past was unacceptable. Even erasing his memory wasn’t insurance enough since he could re-discover time travel. After discussing things further, along with Julia reading their minds, we believed that they would allow Chad to live a normal life in the future. Although initially under a period of probationary surveillance. Chad was intrigued, and wanted to see video of what the future was like. The agents reluctantly produced a small clear paper thin device that displayed video images of the 25th century.  Certainly no archaic farm trucks there! Gleaming high tech cities with flying vehicles flowing into outer space at will! He decided he wanted to go after the agents said he could eventually be a time cop if he wanted.  Chad knew he could then secretly visit his parents someday under the guise of a mission, and reassure them he was well.

The agents, and Chad stepped away from us. One agent hit a pad on his wrist, and they teleported in time within a dazzlingly display of glittering energy!  We were about to walk back to our tables when Chad teleported back wearing a black suit.  He smiled saying,”I can only stay for a minute! I’ve been in the 25th century for 15 years, and became a time cop! It’s beyond groovy! I’m going to see my parents now! Thanks for your help!” He then disappeared just as quickly as he appeared.  As we walked away happy things had turned out for the best I asked Julia,”Is it just me or did those agents seem extremely polite to me in particular?” They almost treated me as if I was some authority figure they knew. Julia just smiled, and said,”Oh it’s hard to say what the future holds Xavier!”

Our Other Labor Day Stories

Annual Company Labor Day 2015 Picnic

Labor Day Picnic A lot of our paranormal investigative staff went on vacation early last week to enjoy the last bit of Summer through Labor Day. Those of us still in town showed up at our annual company Labor Day picnic at Luminary Lake. We spent most of the warm day on the beach basking in the sun along with swimming. There were also some prize winning games that included those on staff who have kids. As sunset approached we lit a beach campfire to tell real ghost stories on the edge of the most haunted forest we know of. The Mystical Forest! We only had two supernatural incidents that included a sighting of the infamous Luminary Lake Monster who caused a scare in some speed boaters when it bumped their boat. However they were being annoying anyway so kudos to the Monster! 🙂

There was another paranormal incident hours later when some kids ran screaming down the beach toward us. A line of moving raised sand was following them rather rapidly. It turned out to be a creature called a Sand Snark. It’s a small sharp toothed beast that swims through sand looking for meaty prey of any sort. Normally they are found in large deserts so it’s odd one would be on a beach next to a lake in our forested mountainous region of Woodland Springs, Colorado. Most likely some nefarious figure or prankster buried a Sand Snark Egg on the beach recently because it was an infant yet still very dangerous! We were going to take the little monstrosity out with extreme prejudice since it was threatening children but our Cryptozoologist Dr. Ashley Abercrombie stopped us as she was eager to study this rare paranormal entity. Our resident witch Rebecca Abernathy trapped it in a Reverse Mystic Sphere. Her Active Witch power is to create a bubble of protective metaphysical energy around herself at will. In recent years she’s been training to make it appear next to her, and direct it as a caging tool. She caught the Snark in the supernatural sphere, and Ashley pulled out her trusty syringe of Chupacabra tranquilizer to subdue it. We caged it in a metal crate of sand in the Mystic Van, and went back to the picnic party.

Later as we were around the campfire amid the darkness we could see the trademark azure neon glow from Luminary Lake caused by mystical microorganisms.  Generally this is most concentrated on the waters edge.  If you dive deep enough there’s also a related paranormal organism that produces an eerie green glow along the bottom of the lake.  We saw a faint outline of the Luminary Lake Monster leap out of the water letting out an almost cow like “Moooooooooo”.  It was a magical evening under the stars as we put out the camp fire, and left for our respective homes.  Happy Labor Day From Mystic Investigations!

Gnome Spotted At Labor Day Picnic

Paranormal Investigations Company Picnic
Crazed GnomeIt’s time again for Mystic Investigations annual Labor Day company picnic.  Everyone is in attendance at Woodland Springs Forest Reserve Park aka The Mystical Forest.  The main party area is nestled among the pines as sparse sun filters down toward us.  It’s ideal for our resident vampire Drake Alexander who generally lurks about the shadows of the forest.  Some of the kids here are begging him to go down to the beach to play volleyball and swim in Luminary Lake but I can’t see that happening.  He did go for a dip last year when thick storm clouds blocked out the sun but he started smoking when the holy rays of the sun came through the clouds suddenly.  The kids thought the hot dogs were ready to eat when that happened for some reason.

It was more or less a fun yet uneventful day in a supernatural way until Rebecca Abernathy, our resident Demi-Mermaid Witch, made her debut on the beach showing off her flashy, and quite revealing bikini.  The beach was suddenly filled with an awe filled silence as all eyes were on her entering the warm waters.  Then when she majestically exited again.  Drake suddenly yelled,”Woodland Gnome!  Run kids!  Run!”  For a split second I saw a small figure barely two feet tall running into the brush wearing a red pointy hat as Drake ran in after him. The kids were running away screaming, and laughing at the same time since they didn’t really know their lives were in danger. Gnomes are known for eating kids in order to maintain their immortality! In addition Gnome blood is known to allow vampires the privilege of dwelling in direct sunlight for a matter of hours.  Drake ran into the woods after the filthy little fiend, and managed to catch him after then minutes.  He drained that little bastard dry, and before we know it Drake was playing volleyball with everyone.  Later he was swimming, and frolicking with the happy squealing kids on the beach. I dare say I saw a tear of joy in his eye as we all sat around the campfire at dusk telling ghost stories.  Most of them true by the way since our mission is to take down the forces of supernatural evil head on!