From Santa Claus To Slenderman

Xavier Remington, President Of Mystic Investigations here! It’s been a long time since I wrote in this blog as we are very busy battling the forces of darkness. I guess I feel like I have to tell a complete story of our supernatural adventures and so end up putting it off. Perhaps a few paragraphs every so often will do? That being said I’m almost done with the story of Fraggle The Elf. He took over as President here and ran things when most of us Executives were away on our annual vacation retreat to the Demi-Angel Santa Claus’s North Pole City. Certainly a treat for many of us in the paranormal know. Santa is nice enough to give visitors the option to have Elves take over their supernatural operations. While gone from late December 2017 to early January 2018 the fantastic Fraggle took over. Here is the first two paragraphs of his story:


Fraggle The ElfThe executive staff of Mystic Investigations work hard all year running the office, conducting paranormal research projects, and battling the forces of supernatural evil in the field. So we look forward to our longest and most cherished of vacations every year. That being our surreal stay at the Santa Claus’s winter wonderland. During our tremendous time at Santa’s North Pole City amid the 2017 Christmas season, we were given the option to have an Elf man our supernatural post as it were. We happily took that option even though the Christmas season brings us the least paranormal cases. Still, we wanted someone with some level of paranormal power to be here just in case things got crazy. Fraggle The Elf was sent to us here in Woodland Springs, Colorado by Santa Claus who is a powerful Demi-Angel force for good on Earth  I, Xavier Remington, made Fraggle temporary Mystic Investigations President with full authority to run the business as he saw fit.  All our personnel are not fully aware of the wondrous world of the supernatural so we’ve only told them we’re going on a business trip up north. They believe Fraggle is my vertically challenged cousin.

We’d never met Fraggle at the North Pole before because most of his work lies in the outside world. When we first met the little fella, who was barely 2′ 10″, we thought it would be best for him to change out of his tiny green Elf costume before meeting our non-executive employees who would not be traveling to the North Pole. Thankfully, Santa had the foresight to send an adorable little business suit with Fraggle. Otherwise, we would have had to take him to a tailor, or a toddler store. LOL!  In addition, Santa gave him a glamouring spell to hide his pointy ears.  However, at any point, he could appear in his Elf uniform with his ears, and simply claim it was a costume to celebrate Christmas…….I’ll try and complete this story before next Christmas. LOL!


North Pole City Christmas Vacation – December 21, 2017 To January 5th, 2018
Ever since 2011 we’ve relished in taking a break from fighting paranormal evil by delving into the winter wonderland of the worlds Christmas Capitol. A place where your worries wash away and you feel like a kid again. To an extent the outside world fades away just as being at the North Pole does once you leave. I get the most serene sleep and have the most delightful dreams there!

Once again we were nominated for the prestigious Claus Awards that honors those who risk their lives to help others in need. Nominees get to stay at Claus Manor with Santa, Mrs.Claus, and his two kids. We ultimately didn’t win the award but one simply cannot be disappointed to eat every meal at a table with the Claus family, Elves, winter nymphs, intelligent speaking penguins, and stuffed animals come to life! Not to mention you can eat everything in sight without any health or weight issues. I chugged 20 gallons of eggnog and ate a good 14 gallons of ice cream! Some of which was eaten with my little buddy Gerbert The Elf. He is, of course, the notorious Peppermint Ice Cream Bandit at the North Pole!

We later entered the Christmas Elf Snowball Fight. Each team has one elf on it since an all Elf team would always win a snowball fight. I got pelted in the head a few times but it didn’t hurt since you can’t experience pain here. It was just a pleasant tingling sensation. I’ve actually seen people punching each other in the face and laughing like crazy. LOL! Anyway Mystic Investigations came in third place even with a vampire on our team. That being Executive VP Drake Alexander. While in this holy place he reverts to a Angel like vampire form. When we returned home everything was in order thanks to Fraggle The Elf. Other Mentions Of North Pole City

Super Blue Blood Moon Eclipse – January 31st, 2018
The Super Blue Moon Eclipse transmuted to a rare Violet Moon which ended up turning anything unholy to ash if basking within the holy light. So our battles with Werewolves were minimal and those in direct moonlight died. We went around town at dawn contacting known werewolves to see if it was they who perished. We at least brought closure to a few families who got the bad news. Our very own vampire Exec VP Drake Alexander nearly turned to ash as he spontaneously burst into unholy flames. Our resident witch Senior VP Rebecca Abernathy acted quickly to cast a shielding spell as we rushed him to safety! Luckily the Violet Moon amped up her own magical powers. Drake has fully recovered from his near death experience. Our own werewolf Seth Morgan was locked away safely in a cage at Mystic Investigations headquarters. This is the responsible thing for all werewolves to do on Full Moon nights! For their own well being and that of everyone else.

Additional Story About A Battle With The Plague Doctor On Valentines Day!

Fifth Annual International Para-Con – February 21-February 28, 2018
This years secret International Paranormal Investigators Conference was in Moscow, Russia. It’s a place for most of us in the real paranormal community to compare notes and devise strategies to defeat the forces of darkness in preparation for Armageddon. Many of us gave speeches and demonstrations on the latest supernatural sleuthing techniques while learning from others ourselves. There was a surprise visit by President Vladimir Putin. He’s well aware of the secret supernatural world and was deeply interested during the hour he spent at the conference. We spoke to him briefly but our vampire team member Drake Alexander had a more extensive private conversation with him. Apparently, they know each other from way back in the day. It’s also interesting to note Putin always travels with his personal Wizard Fyodor. Perhaps that is how he’s retained power for so long?

While there we came across Slenderman in the Khimki Forest. He was actually sabotaging the controversial highway that cuts through the forest as it caused the loss of many trees. Slender loves hiding in the woods and feels most at home there. So naturally, he is for saving the environment. Probably the evil entities only redeeming quality next to his decent treatment of children despite kidnapping them for their unique metaphysical energy! If not for these despicable kidnappings we would have left him to it but we had to attempt capture. Capture rather than extermination as there are alternate dimensional forces who sentenced him here to live rather than be executed. These forces have strong anti-death protection on him!

Either Slender Man was low on paranormal power or wasn’t in the mood to play because he kept evading us! Certainly, we caused harm to him before. Slender easily shapeshifted to hide behind trees and all manner of foliage. He had us running around the dark woods all night and into the morning like fools. Thankfully, we must have worn him out because we saw a flash of light indicating he teleported away. Our Psychic Julia Hathaway said he was long gone!

Easter April Fools Story Coming Soon!

Ding Dong Ditch Gone Wrong

Remington-ManorRebecca and I decided to stay in Thursday night since things have been quiet in the paranormal arena.  The calm before the Halloween storm. Finally a full nights sleep rather than being out all night fighting, and capturing  vampires, werewolves, zombies, chupacabra, dark witches, gnomes, and everything else that goes bump in the night.  I checked all the doors, and set the alarm system before retiring to bed.  All was quiet at Remington Manor as I fell into a sweet slumber with the subtle sound of crickets outside the window.  I did miss the frogs croaking which is one of signs that autumn is nearly upon us. We were both off in the dream plane as I dreamed of racing my totally awesome Lamborghini around the sunny tree lined roadways of Woodland Springs, Colorado.  The idiot Police Chief Spencer Cantrell chased me with sirens blasting, and lights glaring as I laughed with glee.  I accelerated to 150 mph, and jumped a river.  Cantrell’s squad car hit the water, and I chuckled heavily.

I sped down a winding road deep into the Mystical Forest, and it was suddenly nighttime.  The foreboding darkness gave way to flames shooting up in the woods around my car.  A puff of red smoke appeared in the middle of the road as King Of Hell Dimitri Diablo appeared.  His echoing voice exclaimed,”They’re coming for you Xavier!  They’re coming for you all!”  Then from the flames the Earth bound Devil appeared, and roared,”Hell will be mine again Dimitri you silly human fool!”  At that point there was loud pounding, and chimes bellowing everywhere as trees fall on both entities of evil.  I wake up in a cold sweat hearing crazy pounding from the front door along with the door bell ringing multiple times.  Rebecca is awaken abruptly as well.  She was dreaming of swimming in the seas in Mermaid form amid anthropomorphic animals while the song “Under The Sea” played in the background.  Now she was angry saying,”What the hell?”

Rebecca shut the alarm off, and I opened the front door to find nobody there.  I snapped all the exterior lights on, including the spot lighting about the front yard, and walked around a bit but saw nobody.  It was interesting I didn’t hear one cricket anywhere.  We went back to bed but no sooner than we put the covers back on did the knocking, and door bell ringing happen again.  This time Rebecca dove right out the second floor window landing on her bare feet.  She ran to the front yard, and I followed with a ninja style tuck, and roll out the window.  We got to the front just in time to see at least three people dive into the bushes while laughing.  I then yelled,”Wow ding dong ditch huh?  I guess you guys don’t have any chicks lined up for tonight.  I’m embarrassed for you.  For your sake I hope to hell you don’t try that again!”  Rebecca then chimed in,”Yeah what girl would want to go out with losers who knock on doors only to run away like scared little bitches.”  We both snickered snidely before walking away.

We walked back to the side yard under the bedroom window since the doors were locked but I had no way to get back up.  However Rebecca being a Demi-Mermaid could leap to the second floor balcony.  So she picked me up, and we ended back up in the bedroom  Hopefully nobody saw that. 🙂  Once inside we immediately ran to the panic room which contained our surveillance system.  We watched the monitor as three teenage punks ran back to the front door to go for another harassing slam and ring volley.  This time however they didn’t get the opportunity to run away because a trap door opened beneath the front porch, and they fell in screaming like babies.  Their hilarious cries could be heard all the way down the slide into a cage in Rebecca’s Witches Lair in the basement.

Rebecca, and I immediately opened a secret passage in the wall, and slid down a pole into her Wicca inner sanctum.  Rebecca then gloated,”We warned you!”  I then said,”Yeah jackasses you had your fun, and could have just left but no you had to prove how tough you were!”  The largest teen who looked about 17 snapped out of his fright a bit, and demanded,”You better let us the hell out of here, or we’re calling the cops!” I then replied,”Call them!”  He took out his cell phone but there was no service within this fortified subterranean lair.  Rebecca then picked up a magic wand, and clanged it against the cage bars causing small sparks to fly off while asking,”Why whatever should we do with them Xavier?  Boil them with bats wings, and eyes of newts? Or maybe I could turn them into rats?”  I then said,”What about that chain saw I got for Christmas, and haven’t had a chance to use?”  Rebecca then replied,”Perfect!  I didn’t know how I was going to fit them in my cauldron anyway.”

Suddenly they were apologizing like crazy amid blubbering.  Even the 17 year old was changing his tune.  I then said,”Do you all promise to never do this to anyone again?”  They all excitedly pledged they never would ding dong ditch again.  Rebecca mixed up a potion, and poured it into three small vials.  She then handed the bubbling blue liquid to each one, and told them to drink it.  They refused at first until I yelled,”Drink it or die now!”  They gulped it down as I winked at Rebecca, and both of us smiled.  All three boys passed out, and we carried all of them to the small elevator that opened from a secret passage upstairs.  We placed them in a wheel barrel, and rolled them into the Enchanted Woodland next to our house.  Once laid upon the ground Rebecca sprinkled some iridescent dust on them, and recited an incantation,”Mnemosyne I call unto thee to sweep away all memory of this day within the trio at play mind now like clay. Obliviscatur!”  A flash of green light rippled over the three teens while we hid behind some bushes.  They awoke in a daze puzzled about what happened.  They had no clue where they were, and how they got there.

They walked out of the woods down the road from Remington Manor, and stumbled home in the dark.  Sub-consciously they should remember what happened, and never attempt the ding dong ditch again.  Let this be a lesson to anyone hoping to prank someone in this fashion.  You never know what deranged person you could be dealing with!  Or in our case only pretending to be deranged. LOL! 🙂  Rebecca, and I went back to bed as the chorus of crickets resumed.  Fast asleep again I was at Santa Claus’s North Pole Village dreaming of eating my favorite eggnog ice cream specially made by Mrs.Claus.  I was eating it at her table in her kitchen as she stood by the stove smiling warmly.  Gerbert the Elf ran across the kitchen screaming,”eeeeeeeeee!” with peppermint ice cream on his face while three other Elves chased him.  Santa Claus strolled in laughing playfully when all the sudden a black dagger skewered him from behind.  He fell to the ground gripping his chest as the Anti-Claus stood in the doorway.  Mrs.Claus screamed in terror while the Dark Claus exclaimed,”The Devil’s back in Hell, and I’m back to take over Christmas bitches!”  He laughed maniacally as a pounding, and chiming sound bellowed about.  I woke up in a cold sweat again, and yes it was the front door.  Rebecca was like,”Are you serious!?!”  She had been dreaming of trick o treating with Shala The Halloween Queen in her hidden perpetual autumn village full of happy ghostly children. She then said the Anti-Claus, and Devil appeared declaring,”Halloween is finally ours again! Slender as reward for your hard work I share these children’s souls with you!”  Slenderman comes walking into the scene with tentacles whipping toward Rebecca who woke up at that point.

We ran downstairs, and opened the door.  It was our associates Rob Edmunds (Ghost Buster), and Julia Hathaway (Psychic-Telekinetic).  She had some of our same dreams but also one about Rob’s sister who was sucked into a haunted mirror by a demonic poltergeist when she was 4, and he was 10.  He had the same dream as Julia which basically told them that Slenderman was the only one who could gain access to the mirror.  The mirror locked away in the basement at Mystic Investigations headquarters.  A mirror not even the Sorcerer Ian McTavish nor Santa Claus, a Demi-Angel, could access.  For some reason the dreams of Rob, and Julia indicated that the only inter-dimensional being we knew, Slenderman, could activate the mirror.  In the dream they saw the entire Mystic Investigations team enter the haunted mirror that has lied dormant for decades.  If these dreams are some kind of premonitions then somehow we must trick Slenderman into doing our bidding because he certainly has never been one to cooperate with anyone except the Devil on occasion.

Luckily though these dreams weren’t the only reason they were knocking at our door in the dead of the night.  It seems Julia feels Slenderman’s presence at Mystic Investigations as we speak.  He is in fact after the mirror for reasons unknown.  We called the rest of the team, and raced there asap!

To Be Continued…

Halloween is coming soon!  Time to get your costumes, decorations, and awesome animatronics!

Summer Of Slender

The Return Of The Supernatural Slender Man!
Summertime SlendermanThe sinister Slenderman appeared in a flash of eerie emerald light in the midst of the nocturnal Mystical Forest of Woodland Springs, Colorado.  This most malicious monster from a parallel dimension teleports with ease when fully powered up on the life force of the innocent children he preys upon.  Of course in their case he merely kidnaps them, and holds some semblance of reverence for their magical purity as his dimension contains no kids.  Slender Man’s real nefarious nature flies free when mentally torturing adults, and instilling the Slender Sickness upon them.  He relishes driving them into a paranormal madness that leads to the manipulation of their minds to murder others, and then commit suicide. Rarely does he directly kill his intended target. He gains more pleasure in being the puppet master of unwitting humans in his real life chess game of doom!  However when attacked he will eradicate all who dare to defy him!  Slender Man was sentenced to Earth by his own people for unknown crimes many centuries ago, and now his only mission in life is to prey upon us!

The Slender Man walked in a ghoulishly graceful manner about the dark lush forest teeming with Wandering Water Nymphnormal, and paranormal life whose sounds could be heard bellowing about the many evergreens, and minority deciduous trees.  The light of the half Moon filtering through the tree canopy revealing the pale faceless figure dressed in a black business suit with a black tie that is known to turn scarlet when his prey has been targeted for termination.  As a limited shape shifter Slenderman also grows a plethora of sharp tentacles that can be deadly to anyone!  The foliage of the forest crunched beneath his shiny black dress shoes causing a chorus of crickets to fall quiet leaving only the sound of the warm summer winds rustling the trees to, and fro.  Two gentle water nymphs, aka minor nature deities, swam au naturel giggling with glee in a slow flowing stream.  Slender crossed a small bridge over the stream staring at the metaphysical beauties with his unique vision devoid of actual physical eyes. Both lovely ladies were startled by his ominous presence, and quickly shifted into non-corporeal form appearing only as transparent specters.  He left them behind knowing, at least in his mind, that he was the apex predator in this particular neck of the woods.

Female Vampire BloodlustSlenderman’s earless head translated sound waves into information that told him humans were nearby.  Just then two vampires pounced from a thick block of brush briefly surprising him. The male, and female vampires had been waiting for a human to come into the forest by themselves, and were eager for a quick bloody meal. They neglected to get a good look at the Slender Man as they immediately bit into his neck, and shoulder from behind.  However they stopped the instant they ingested the first line of his vile tasting pitch black blood.  Slenderman quickly shook them off with his supernatural strength.  This caused the demonic duo to fly into two different tree trunks.  One tree fell down loudly as the female vampire screamed,”Oh crap it’s the Slender Man!”  Both were instantly ill, and weakened by his poisonous blood that would give them the Slender Man Sickness for all eternity.  Slender grew a black tentacle that went around the males neck, and then beheaded him with glee! This caused the vamp to burst into unholy violet colored flames.  Nothing but a pile of ash was left while the female vampire lay helplessly on the ground crying,”Please don’t kill me! I want to live forever!  I can be of use to you!”  Slender Man knew he had complete mental control of the vampire now that his extra-dimensional blood was in her forever.  He decided to let her go as a potential useful puppet in the future.  He temporarily suppressed the Slender Man sickness in her as if nothing had ever happened, and she ran away into the night at super speed.

Slender neared the edge of the treeline where a crowd was gathered on Luminary Lake Luminary Lake Fireworksjust as the iridescent Independence Day fireworks began to blast across the Moon, and star lit skies. The last embers of the sunset were nothing but a faint blue light on the western horizon.  Slender viewed the pyrotechnics as mindless, and was only interested in the children at their parents safe side viewing the spectacle.  He could clearly make out their unique energy auras that no normal human could witness.  Something struck him about a young five year old boy playing near the waters edge with a golden retriever.  He knew the child would be an ideal source of mystical energy as he was starting to run low on paranormal power.

SlendermanThe Slender Man shape shifted into an almost snake like form as he slithered on his stomach along the ground into the lake.  He eyed the boy from beneath the waters surface but the golden retriever entered the water barking wildly trying to warn everyone of impending danger.  Slender then shot up a tentacle, and dragged the dog underwater casting him out flying into the center of the lake. Thankfully the dog wasn’t harmed, and swam back to shore later on.  A good number of people in the crowd took notice of the catapulted dog, and began screaming as Slenderman sprang up out of the water, and grabbed the child into his slimy slender arms.  Everyone was shrieking in sheer terror at the sight of the faceless Slenderman!  The boys parents lunged forth but Slender sprang through the crowd at what seemed like light speed knocking several people over.  Both Slender, and boy disappeared into the dark foreboding forest with his cries for help fading to nothing in the great distance!  The rockets red glare flashing everywhere on a most unfortunate fourth of July!

The Woodland Springs Police were called to the scene of the boy kidnapped by Slender Man in front of a shocked crowd of people enjoying the July 4th fireworks still bursting colorfully in the air.  As usual cantankerous Police Chief Spencer Cantrell refused to believe in the world of the paranormal.  He called every eye witness in the crowd a bunch of hysterical July 4th drunks as he noted the coolers full of beer, and wine coolers strewn about. Thankfully a true supernatural believer in law enforcement heard the call on the emergency radio. Comanche County Sheriff Blake Maverick raced to the scene with sirens sounding, and lights flashing.  Upon arrival at the park the Sheriff ordered the useless police to leave the area.  After a brief shouting match amid the loud booms of the fireworks.  Cantrell, and his men sped away down the road after the Sheriff finally threatened to arrest them all for obstruction of justice.  After getting brief statements from the witnesses Maverick called Xavier Remington, President of Mystic Investigations on his cell phone.  That would be me!

I was across Luminary Lake on the opposite shore in the back yard of Remington Manor.  My palatial estate lies on the edge of the Enchanted Woodland.  A mostly deciduous wooded area as opposed to the mostly dense evergreen foliage of the Mystical Forest.  It’s also not as full of paranormal life.  Most of the Mystic Investigations team was at my house for my Fourth Of July party which naturally had an excellent view of the fireworks over the lake.  Everyone was there except for my Executive Vice-President Drake Alexander who was in London helping a secret agent friend in MI7 to identify the Devil.  The Devil had been seen with The Plague Doctor at Stonehenge.  Drake, a vampire, is one of the few people to actually see the Devil in his current human like form.  His British friend decided Drake would be indispensable in helping to identify, and locate the Devil along with ascertaining his intent on the British Isles.  Also as a vampire Drake has demonic based DNA that allows him to sense when the Devil is near.  Since Slender Man has recently worked with the Devil, despite being a centuries old loner, we’re thankful he wasn’t anywhere near Woodland Springs.  It’s also probably a good thing Drake isn’t here since his last encounter with Slender caused him to drink his blood.  Despite cleansing him of the Slender Sickness it’s suggested that such extra-dimensional blood can never be completely eradicated which leaves the door open for Drake possibly being controlled by the Slenderman.

Most of us were near my boat dock ready to go out on to the lake when Julia Hathaway, our psychic, got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She suddenly blurted out,”Slenderman!”  I then replied,”What the hell?”  She then had a brief vision, and told us,”OMG Slenderman kidnapped a child!”  Unfortunately when it comes to Slender there is a psychic delay which is why she got the vision too late.  Everyone hopped into my speed boat except for Rebecca Abernathy, my girlfriend, a white witch, and a Demi-Mermaid. She was already wearing a bikini since it was a warm night.  So all Rebecca had to do is kick off her sandals, and dive into the dark waters reflecting the pyrotechnic skyscape. A raised line of water with waves radiating outward could be seen racing across the lake at superhuman speeds.  I revved up the boat, and followed in fast pursuit.  Ahead the opposite shore grew closer while seeing Rebecca launch from the water to the side of the crowd so only a few children saw her.  That’s when my cell phone rang, and Blake said he needed Mystic Investigations.  Rebecca smiled, and tapped him on the shoulder.  He said,”Wow that’s quick service!”  Our boat came ashore, and our team got to work.

We assured the parents we would find their boy, and bring him home safely.  Although in my mind I was thinking the worst since our encounter with Slender Man last summer.  We barely got away with our lives!  Thankfully Slenderman does not hurt children.  Rather he absorbs their innocent magical energies.  Energies Slender needs to stay at peak power.  The iridescent kaleidoscope of glittering glory still roared across the skies while trekking into the Mystical Forest.  The Sheriff stayed behind with the clearly shocked crowd. That’s why she got the vision of the kidnapping too late, and couldn’t sense that Slender was in Woodland Springs.

Julia Hathaway, and Ex-Navy Seal Hunter Jackson lead the team forging forth into the foreboding darkness.  I was hoping Julia could sense the supernatural Slender but his mind works differently than any other being paranormal or otherwise.  We lucked out that Slenderman was walking rather than teleporting so Hunter could track his trail.  Perhaps Slenderman has an encounter with some powerful enemies, and his energy was drained.  If he teleported it would be next to impossible to find him as you could be anywhere on Earth.  Our luck ran out when the trail ended in a babbling brook.

Rebecca then gently seemed to be talking to thin air as she said,”Oh sweet Nymphs of the babbling brook please reveal yourself to us.”  Suddenly two extremely beautiful women wearing virtually nothing but green leafy vines, and flowers appeared first as apparitions.  Then they were fully physical as they emerged from the cool waters.  They said Slenderman scared them as he walked directly down the brook that turns into a stream, and then empties into a large pond past the treeline.  The Nymphs sensed he was growing weaker from a previous attack. From various reports over the past 10 years we gathered that Slender needs to partake of a certain ritual to gather energy from children.  So he had to get the child to some mystical location.

We bid the Nymphs farewell, and split up.  Rebecca activated her Mystic Sphere, a translucent pink levitating energy bubble that forms around her.  I joined her along with Zack Powers, our bionic boy wonder, and we flew away.  Unfortunately there’s only so many who can fit inside so the rest of the team went on foot down the brook into the larger stream.  Rebecca directed her sphere toward the large pond while communing with the supernaturals of the Mystical Forest who could help her locate Slender.

If this was a television show this would be the song running in the end credits of this particular episode: